help a girl out?

Hey fellow Canadians. I have a question. Does anybody know where you can get dry shampoo in Canada (preferably in a small city, or online)? (basically this powder you spray in your hair and then brush out, for in between shampoos). My sister wants some for her trip to Europe but we have no idea where to find it. anybody?

forgot

So I forgot to mention that my peak at the scale this morning showed 134.6 for like 2 seconds then randomly jumped to 135.0. It's like the scale doesn't know what to do with a number like that. I'll show it tomorrow!

(what a great time to be at an all time low - bikini saturday!)

hmmm...

I should stop eating now, I'm sorta full. I just ate about 4 cups of watermelon and 2 cucumber bunwiches. I did not eat any significant protein yet though. But all I want to eat are cherries...

We'll type and see how I feel when I'm done.

first thing - somebody asked me about protein powder. I don't have a brand I stick to, I just buy cheap generic stuff. I don't like the chocolate one I've got right now which isn't just chocolate flavoured, it's chocolate milk flavoured, so it doesn't have a very strong taste. Feels like you should add more all the time (because it's got like a milk flavour). I just try and not buy the most expensive one in the store, and one that's got low calories and high protein.

Man am I productive. Yesterday I had all these plans and I ended up having to stay late at work. A coworker (not even superior) asked if I could do these edits in a report for him by tomorrow. I didn't clarify if that meant done by first thing tomorrow or end of day tomorrow. So I stayed an extra 1.5 hours (even though he had left...) to finish it. Finally get out of here, hubby needs me to go to Walmart for camping stuff. (we needed new chairs, some munchies and drinks). While I'm at it I buy all this stuff for my work trip (I have no idea how the eating will be, but I know there will be no snacks). I bought all these things I normally don't let myself get, 100 calorie snack packs, all kinds of granola, curves, fibre bars. Just tons of it. Since the fresh stuff won't be so accessible, I'll have to stick to this stuff. Might need to be eating it basically for the next 3 weeks (camping this weekend, then work trip, then camping with hubby). A little nervous because I usually fill up on tons of fruit so I'm not sure if these bars will satisfy me. oh well. an experiment.

Ok, so after walmart yesterday, go home. Eat late 7:30. I had cucumber bunwiches (these are so summer to me!), and a peanut butter banana. Plus I ate half of hubby's hotdog. mmm. random. Then 8:00 went for my interval run. It was only alright. I think running interval just aren't as effective as they used to be for me. I'm a too efficient runner. I all out sprint for my fastest minute, but I'm totally fine shortly after. I think when I get back I'm gonna switch to biking (to get ready for the MS bike tour in September.)

Anyway, after running (I did an extra set too) I cooled down in the garden in the breeze. I think the dog ate all my peppers. I know I had some awesome ones out there but they're gone. Tons of tomatoes though so that's good. and onions. salsa here I come!

Then I hit the scrapbook room. I only managed to make 3 pages last night. Pitiful compared to tuesday where I made 7 in the same time frame. But after talking to SIL, she said that I could just consider myself done now and she's do whatever was left (since I already made 16 or so pages, and we're probably only doing around 25 pages total).

So then even though it was bed time, I cleaned up the kitchen a bit (since I knew hubby wouldn't do it, even though he promised, he has a hard time estimating time to complete things, he said he'd cut the grass too. He never got passed his first task of the night, cleaning out the SUV)

So today, at work, while our computers were being updated, I took off to run errands. Finish sister's present. Bought her all this stuff for her trip to Europe (plug in adaptors, umbrella, first aid kit etc etc). $100 worth of stuff (split between my brother's as well) Trips are expensive since you don't really consider this as part of the cost but it's all necessary.

then after work today I have to go to SIL's and drop off the scrapbook and the rest of the pictures to do. Then to sister's and give her her present. then home to pack and get ready for ALL my trips. No workout today. I may try and do some squats and pushups and stuff if I find time.

Then tomorrow it's out for lunch with my girl friend's for their birthdays then we're leaving right after work! SO BUSY!

Thank goodness this is when I function the best. I've got a lot of functioning to do.

my eats de jour

breakfast - stone cut oatmeal with chocolate protein powder and a handfull of chocolate chips. (Probably too much, but it keeps me full so no am snack)

lunch - chicken breast, wild rice leftovers. handfull of garden peas from my momma. cherries, nectarine, banana

snack - strawberries, carrots, yogurt (also an apple and another nectarine, depending on how long I'm shopping after work)

supper - nothing planned. nothing thawed. Maybe omlete? Definately watermelon and raspberries for dessert.

(I definately get my servings of fruit and veggies in a day, mostly fruit)

yesterday, a good day

it was a pretty good day yesterday. After work I hit the gym. Felt like it was over too quickly, but I did all the body parts I wanted to hit. I even did 160lbs on the leg press and it didn't even feel too bad. Could up that. (realized that is more than body weight! That's pretty cool huh?) Did my happy posture back exercises and did chest flies which just make me feel strong. Didn't do abs, but they're sore today, just goes to show you that you use them all the time!

Then I went to my sister's to pick up raspberries my mom had dropped off for me. Yummy. I can't wait for my raspberry bushes to grow in thick and start producing. (I ate like 4 berries from it so far). Visited with her about her trip (she's taking september and travelling around europe with her boyfriend. jealous!) she gave me birthday present ideas, so then I went to walmart and bought all these little travel things for her (sleep mask for on the plane, tiniest umbrella ever, airplane combo lock (that doesn't have to get broken by security, there's a special code thing), plug in adaptor, etc). Her birthday isnt' until middle of August, but since I'll be gone I'll probably give it all to her tomorrow. that way she won't buy it and have doubles too.

So after that, I finally went home. didn't get home until 20 to 8. ate my leftovers (I cooked supper the other day but didn't eat it because of ball, protein bars to the rescue). Then ignored the messy kitchen and hit the scrapbooking. Usually by 8:00 I feel like it's too late to get into it because I won't get much done and I'll have to clean up. But I was so wrong. I got done like 7 pages in 2 hours! Amazing! And I think they're nice too. Thank goodness, I was worried I'd never get done that stupid book. Get about 3 pages done tonight and I can relax I think. (SIL is supposed to be doing half the book as well).

Then thursday I can focus on laundry and packing for the weekend/next week. I feel so busy!

Tonight hubby wants me to grab a few things for him for the weekend (we need new lawn chairs, some spitz etc) then I'm gonna go home and do my intervals. Did I tell you that we found my Garmin? yay! It was in the SUV like I knew it was. Where else could it be? So I can do a heavy duty hard core, sprint intervals, get them done quick and then scrapbooking. If I had a 12" scanner I'd show you guys my pages. Maybe I'll just take a picture or something.

Anyway, the other thing that made yesterday good is that I lost some weight. I'm not quite sure where because I had some run ins with chocolate chips (I put them in my oatmeal for breakfast but left the bag on the cupboard and it was taunting me in the evening). But I guess when all your meals are pretty much fruits and veggies with a couple chicken breasts thrown in it doesn't hurt. I stepped on the scale this morning and it showed me 135.0. It flickered on the 134 for a minute, but it also showed 135.8 for a second. I'm hoping for good things by friday. (nothing motivates like the numbers in your favour huh?)

anyway, work to do.
Randi

(I just felt like signing it like a letter, so sue me. I also felt like using the phrase "so sue me" like it was still 1994)

hugs and kisses

Thanks to all my lovely blog readers for sticking up for me yesterday. You're so sweet. If you're not a lovely reader, stop reading.

So the hub and I made up last night. He got off work early and was sleeping on the couch when I got home. We made up in the way where you just want to be done fighting but you don't really resolve the initial argument. Which isn't so bad in this case, because the initial argument was a drunken one so didn't make a lot of sense in the first place. I did reiterate that I didn't like the way he argues, with names and being mean. And he pointed out that it was my mistake to try and talk about anything when he was drunk to begin with. I think neither of us is completely happy with it but at least it's over and we can hug again. (there was a huge thunderstorm with hail and everything 2 nights ago when we were fighting and we both agreed it was tough to not be able to snuggle during it)

Well so immediately after making up it was like nothing had ever happened. They were short ball players so I played with hubby's team. That took up the whole evening (6:30 to 10:00). I'm not sure if I mentioned before but I really don't like playing slow pitch. I'm scared of the ball and scared of making a mistake. It's not that I'm no good, I'm better than some of the girls on the team. That's why they're always nagging me to join the team. But I just don't feel comfortable, that's about the most stressed I ever feel. However I don't want them to take an out or forfeit just because they're short a girl, so I played. I only got out once batting, home every other time. And I caught a fly ball (I was playing rover, so out in field) even though a dude crashed into me. But it was my fault for not calling it. (this was just after another dude crashed into me and we both never caught the ball, I dont' want to call it because I dont WANT to catch it!)

Anyway, so I'm being pressured into playing again but don't want to. Plus it takes up so much time and isn't really exercise or anything. Oh well. But that means I didn't get any scrapbooking done like I was supposed to, and my house is still a mess and I have to do laundry and start packing for all my trips! eek!

So today is gym for a quick total body weights. Then home and to work! Have I mentioned my long weekend plans include a bikini? (we're camping and hubby is playing ball. Again, I'm just looking good and trying not to eat like an asshole) I've also been informed that I can't ruin this weekend by being myself (meaning complaining about not having fun, being bored, demanding attention or complaining about hubby's friends. I'm to keep that to myself). I plan on definately going for a couple jogs with Daisy to occupy myself.

Anyway, lots of work to do before next week!

dear anonymous

wow, if you find it so hard to like me, then by all means, don't read my blog! Plus anonymous comments are immature. If you don't want to be associated with your own words, then maybe keep them to yourself?

I don't claim to be perfect. I know one of my big faults is the "my way is right so your way isn't" attitude. Hubby and I have talked about this in the past. And HE is the first one to point out that on many of the issues, the reason it sucks for him so much, is because I AM right. I know I especially come across like that on my blog, but hey psst - most of it's a joke because I think it's funny. (plus I am awesome and the total queen bee) ;)

I have more but I don't feel the need to defend myself and my compromise abilities to you any more. I have plenty of people who think I'm nice, that frankly I don't care if you do or not. (nor did I ever enter any nice contests, NICE isn't necessarily what I try to be.)

Tash pointed out one funny thing (posting anonymously to tell me to grow up) and I just thought of another, telling me to be nicer in a mean comment!

weeeeeekenddddd

Does anybody else ready things like my title differently, like sound it all out when the letters are like that? and end up trying to pronounce "dddd"? Just me?

Yes it was the weekend. It was fun. but a little too much in just a short time for me. Friday after work we had a work bbq. Good, awkward out of office interaction. It wasn't too bad. Ate a burger and tons of veggies. then she brought out drumstick cake and I had a piece. no reason either. it was very good. but I just wasn't feeling the motivation or anything to say no. Then went home and visited with the SIL and family for another few hours. Ate a smore. again, just losing that motivation (just wait...) Feeling good with the scale so I get slack.

Right, stayed up late-ish (midnight) friday. Up at about 9:00. just hung out until my hair appt. Got it chopped, loved it. you saw it. Then drove to hubby's work for lunch with him. Picked up a wrap with no cheese and just mustard. I don't waste calories on things I don't even care about. He had pizza for lunch. we were both happy. Got home, got dressed for the wedding (wore the same black and pink dress as last time, you saw it, I looked the same, but with different hair). I bawled like I've never cried at a wedding before (didn't cry at mine at all, but this was hubby's cousin, the most confirmed lifelong bachelor you'll ever see, really nice, but very fussy and unrealistic with women.) but he was just staring at his bride the whole time, during all the mass parts, songs, everything, didn't take his eyes off her. I was a mess.

then we hung out in the hotel for a few hours, played with neices and nephew. Then went for the supper and speeches. This was the funniest wedding I've ever seen. this cousin is super funny, and all his friends are very hilarious and even hubby went and talked and was hilarious. It was weird too because I guess his wife's family is very religious (as in she had to hide the fact that she went to play bingo with her inlaws from them, swearing is a no no, as far as they knew she was an innocent maiden on her wedding night right?) but somehow this whole thing was still so funny. I guess some of the stuff was probably shocking to the in-laws, like the story told about the groom getting arrested in australia. anyway. it rivals my wedding as the best wedding ever (though mine of course wins, but just a little).

Then I did eat a slice of cheesecake for dessert, and a wedding cupcake. Again, no motivation or self-control around amazing food (groom's a chef, so it was amazing).

Though I think I probably danced all those calories away. I pulled out the dance-like-an-idiot-so-people-assume-you're-doing-it-on-purpose-and-can't-tell-you-suck card. Plus it's the most fun card there is. When we told people later that I was driving us home, they were like "you can't drive! call a cab!" but I hadn't had a thing all night.

Which leads us to the big big big big downer of the weekend. an irrational, drunk fight with hubby on the way home. we're still not speaking. I wish I could tell you what the fight was about, but I think that it was actually about me asking him what it was about. he was pretty hooped so I should have just let him sleep, but I wanted to talk so I wouldn't be bored driving. and then hell broke loose and we were screaming at each other, he slept on the couch and I don't know why. I would have appologized by now, but I am still really hurt at the way he was talking to me when we were fighting. He's a really really bad fighter to begin with, but add drunk to that, and all fair fighting goes out the window. He was calling me names and just being really hurtful and I called him on it. I told him that you can't speak to people you love like that. but he just went off about something else. Eventually I went to bed.

sunday we were supposed to go to the gift opening get together and bring SILs dog for her (to save her a trip). So I woke up early and played on my computer for a few hours. just went about my day. hubby eventually got up and showered and got ready to go then just told me he was leaving. And I was still in my pjs. So I said, fine, I didn't want to go anywhere with him. but he got in the car and started honking at me. I went out and was like "go!" but he said I wasn't going for him, but for the family (and so he didn't have to explain where I was). whatever I went.

It was actually a really nice time, hubby stayed far far away from me and I just hung out with his family and aunts and stuff. Not sure if it was the stress or just the amazing food (I don't usually stress eat, stress starve more like) but I while I ate healthy stuff (buns and meat, not chips etc) I didn't pay attention to carbs vs protein or stopping when full. (just so you know the damage was minimal, this morning showed up 0.8 lbs from friday. I'm sure I'll have it gone by friday. problem is, it won't likely take any friends with it).

So finally time to go after supper from this. And the rest of the inlaws are going to the zoo. The zoo is pitiful in Saskatoon, the honestly have groundhog and gopher displays. Plus we're going to Calgary zoo in a few weeks. PLUS we had the dog with us and she'd have to stay in the car. AND I didn't want to be anywhere with hubby and pretend things are fine. (and I had enough visiting with the in-laws you know?) So I said I didn't really want to go, but just left it at that, if hubby wanted to he could convince me, or whatever. But instead he drove me home (20 minutes) and then went back himself (30 minutes at least to the zoo). I had a nap, cleaned the house a bit and went to bed right when he came home. But of course I couldn't sleep cause I was listening to see if he was coming in to talk. (plus we had a huge storm, a tornado touched down nearby too). So I'm tossing and turning and he comes in the room and proceeds to put his laundry away. Now I really can't sleep. So I get up and go in the spare room and crash.

This morning I heard the alarm go off, got up and went pee, then I have an hour before Ihave to get up so I went back to bed, expecting to get up when I heard the door slam from hubby to go to work. But he didn't slam it. The phone rang at 7:30 and it was hubby saying that he knew I didn't have an alarm set so was making sure I was up. I said thank you. So things might be on the mend. I just don't want to make the first move. I know I did nothing wrong. It was just his drunk state that messed things up.

you can skip this if you want.

(what he did think we were fighting about was EVERYTHING. I started by saying how his uncles were kinda creeping on me a little, as in boob grazes when dancing and extra tight hugs. He's like, yeah, they're just old pervs really, thanks for not making a big deal about it. And I thought that was a weird reaction from a husband. so I sort of said, he shouldn't just be "ok with it", not that I wanted him to make a big deal and punch his uncle, but he shouldn't just be like "it's fine". And the same thing with his BIL creeping on me, he does the whole "how you doing?" thing (I've talked about him before, gave me money for something naughty for my birthday) Last night he commented on my cleavage in a picture and I laughed it off like "oh sometimes you can't help it!" and he got the camera out again and was like "oh really, show me how you can't help it" and I just zipped up my sweater and stuck out my tongue to him. I laugh these things off because maybe eventually he'll get the hint that i'm not playing along and just shutting him down, and I don't want to make a scene or issue as he's family right? So I do understand hubby's thinking, "thanks for not making a big deal out of it" but I just don't expect him to be like "oh it's cool, it's just how they are". Feels like he's sharing me then. I think a sober hubby would get this. But drunk hubby thought I wanted him to punch his BIL and his uncles. But an hour later when I asked what he was mad at me for it was because I always have to be right whether it's "being skinny, or not drinking, or working out" or whatever other things he shouted. So obviously he's got some resentment about other things in there too. That sort of hurts my feelings that he's mad at me for not drinking or for being thin and healthy. I can see how it might make him feel bad about himself, but it's his own shit doing that, not me. I just mention how good I feel, or how I lost a pound or whatever. and as my husband I think he should be happy for me for doing things that make me happy. But he's immature about it and thinks we're competing and I'm winning or something. We'll see how this all washes out when we speak again. He's got ball tonight so we probably won't see each other tonight [I'm gonna do my intervals and then go home and scrapbook, I leave in a week and have a lot to do before SILs shower in september] Then tomorrow night i'm hitting the gym for an hour before coming home and probably buying groceries too. So it might be like 8:00 tuesday before this gets worked out)

Well that hopefully will leave me lots of time to refocus on my weight loss. as I said, I'm gone in a week for work for 2 weeks, then we go on a holiday for a week. eating and exercising during those 3 weeks will be almost out of my control (I'll do my best of course). It'll be good to go in with a headstart.

my hair

I love it.

long hair

So awhile ago I decided that this would be my last long hair summer. (summer seems like long hair to me, frolicking on the beach with long blond hair right?) Even though I've had long hair now (longer than shoulder), for about 6 years, I still feel like it's not the norm for me. I had long hair when I was a kid, like less than 9, then when I got it cut, people were all over about how much older I looked. Then I got it cut even shorter at about 14 and it was more of the same.

However with long hair, I look like I'm in high school. I get ID'd all the time. This woman I met when walking Daisy asked what grade I was in. My hair dresser last time thought I was skipping school. Nobody believes that i've been married for 4 years. (yes I know, I'll appreciate this looking young thing one day right? Still waiting for that. It would be one thing if I looked 22 or something forever, but I look 16 apparently! And I still have wrinkles!)

You guys are right though, I can have long hair again later. I just feel like I'm too old for it now. But I'm clearly not (right? when does too old show up anyway?)

Long hair is a lot of work, but I don't really do any work to it anyway. I make sure to condition well so it's not a disaster, but I rarely get it trimmed, and usually either let it air dry or put in in a ponytail.

Plus my hair is long enough that I can cut it significantly and still have long hair. (It's currently below my boobs when I pull it to the front). I think I'm gonna keep my same bangs, they're finally manageable (I've got a crazy cowlick that leaves me few options)

I'm terribly nervous, but I think I'm gonna cut it around shoulder length now. Just need to think of some kind of style. (layers? angled?)

Help?

yogurt in the eye

I just opened my yogurt for snack and got spashed in the face. That ever happen to you? It's never anywhere else, always the face.

So today I'm having a strange, uncharacteristic feeding thing going on. It's 10:14 and I've eaten 3 different "granola" bars. A fibre 1, a kashi and an oatmeal to go bar. What the hell? Breakfast and snack when you have no time I guess. And even though I never eat these, it's because I never pack them. If I pack them, I'm definately going to eat them, even if it means leaving carrots or something else. Oh well, as a once in awhile thing I'm sure it's fine.

My back is also hurting. My posture right now and my work chair don't help. But I think it was from my workout yesterday. let me tell you about it:

Starts out so good. Did a great leg press set, I was already stronger than tuesday (I told you about my muscles right?) Same thing with bicepts and tricepts, my arms are barely tired today and I did the same weigths exactly. I was just finishing the shoulder exercises and who should walk up behind me but my supervisor at work! Awkward! I get along great with him really, but it's just weird to workout and put on your workout face (especially the one when you can barely lift the weight) in front of people like that. I didn't like it. So after the "what are you doing here?! have a good workout" thing I ran for the safety of the weight machines and cardio equiptment. Boo me. But your more hidden and private over there. I finished with some back stuff (the cable row machine was busy all evening so I didn't do that one, boo). Not realizing that I forgot chest completely. Then did some intervals on the treadmill. I did it in a show-off kinda way in case work dude saw me (he coaches university track). I did just 12 minutes of FAST intervals. I'm so speedy. But I think that's where I hurt my back. Something about the treadmill as opposed to outside, not sure what, but my body wasn't used to it. I think I run differently.

So my workout wasn't as awesome as it was supposed to be. But it was still very good. Just missing chest and calves, but I don't feel half as sore and tough as I did after tuesday. Oh well, that's how my body adapts, I guess I'll have to up the weights even more (and go incognito...)

Supper was omlet. quick and easy. And an english muffin that I forgot about before it went bad. Then I went for my pedicure.

It was so not worth $45 (including tip). All she did was sit me down with my feet in the same tub thing I've got at home (bubbles and heats and vibrates) for like 30 minutes, then give like seriously 3 swipes with the file thing on each foot. When I do it at home I spend like 10 minutes getting rid of all the gross calouses (well not gone, I don't want to kill my foot on my next run), but seriously, she didn't do anything, my foot looked exactly the same, only wrinkly from the water. She did rub some oils and whatever on them and paint my toes. For about 4 minutes (2 minutes/foot) she gave me a foot massage that was really nice, but not $45 nice. I think the most annoying part was that I didn't like the girl much. She was the dumb party girl type. Just annoying to talk to. The kind who talks about high school still even though she's been out for 8 years.

I went home and scrubbed some more of the callouses off. Then I was happy. The rest of the night was watching tv and dishes. Hubby got offered to go play hockey so was gone all night. SIL and family shows up tonight and the place is a mess. Annoying.

Anyway, the happy news for today is that the scale showed me a happy number 135.4. Tying the previous low I saw a couple weeks ago in a sneak peak. So now that TOM is moving on, my eating should be more under control and I can maybe see a new number next week!

After work today I've got a work barbeque to go to. Probably only stay an hour since we've got company coming. Hubby won't even be off work yet so he's not coming. It can get awkward when it's just me (and no booze, boss's wife is totally blunt and asked me if I was pregnant last time, boo). So if I don't eat a burger or whatever there, then it's hotdogs on the fire at home with SIL, so no great options. I think I'll make a big salad at home as well and try and fill up on that, maybe 1 hotdog. Try and stay good because saturday is a wedding. And what a great time to see that 135.4 huh? Wedding buffets I can eat good food, but I eat too much. And I think I might have a piece of wedding cake at this one. (the food should be good, the groom is a chef, and it's a city wedding, not a country one, so the catering is usually better).

I've got a hair cut booked for saturday morning. I'm sooo tempted to just hack it all off and dye it dark. I found a picture of me when I had short dark hair and I loved it. But I don't think I can handle that yet. This is my last long hair summer remember? (though I guess I can change my mind on that one later too). Anybody have any ideas? i'm really really thinking shoulder length. (but it's sort of an impulse decision then). I just want something different. I think I'll go early and read hair cut magazines. Anybody know any good websites to check that out at?

At the same time, I do get compliments on my hair right now. Maybe I could just semi-permanent dye it dark and leave it long. ideas?

I love thursdays.

I love thursdays because it's almost friday and you can starting thinking about your weekend (without being depressed it doesn't start for 3 more days). Plus my favorite podcasts are all updated so I know work will fly by.

I'm just sort of in a good mood. Though I may be tricking myself into it. it's TOM and I'm also having a struggle with carb cravings lately - and giving in. So the carbs combined with TOM is giving me a gain on the scale. Though I'd like to say that some of that definately is muscular, because seriously folks, it's dumb how much more muscley I look since tuesday. Doesn't even make sense. But I'm hitting the gym again after work today for more of the same. Particularly upper back workout. I did rows on a cable machine and instantly my posture was better and it lasted until now. Plus I love seeing muscles in the upper back when a girl's wearing a dress, so that will be me. (much better than back fat huh?) Plus I've been fake tanning so I'm seeing the muscle definition more. yay!

I'm crazy with my fake tanning. I use a spray (neutragena I think) after I exfoliate in the shower, but I don't do a good exfoliating job usually so it's all nasty at first. Then I shower and exfoliate that off, so it's only very slightly darker, then I use a gradual tanning lotion for a week up to whatever event (in this case a wedding saturday), so that just gets me back to the darkness of the spray stuff, but it's more even and natural looking I think. But it's a ridiculous week long process for me.

So after the gym today, I've got a pedicure at 7:15! hooray! So it's gonna be a busy evening. Probably won 't get through all the exercises I did last time. I'll stick to mostly upper body, with probably just leg presses for lower body (since they sort of work everything anyway).

As I've mentioned the eating hasn't been awesome. Not terrible, starts good. Yesterday for supper I made my stir-fry chicken, but for dessert I ate 2 bananas with peanut butter and a handfull of dino-sours. Ugh. Then this morning I ate a bowl of kashi cereal with some multigrain cheerios mixed in. Then also ate a small bag of dry cheerios (3 handfuls) as soon as I got to work. Boo. It's supposed to be much more proteiny than that.

speaking of protein. I dare you guys to try the protein bar I had yesterday and say it's not awesome. it was a detour I think carmel flavoured protein bar. You can get them at walmart individually, I buy a box at Costco. It has been forever since I had a chocolate bar anyway, though I guess I'll admit that it's probably not as good as Reese's cups (my fav, I think, I don't really remember what they're all like, seriously!). However, there's no way you could think about losing weight if you ate a Mars bar every single day right? However, with a protein bar, you can! my SFL plan recommends a protein bar (granted they also sell a certain brand) as one of your snacks or meals. It's GOOD FOR YOU, and a chocolate bar. I stand by my opinion, why would you eat anything else and feel guilty about it.

Granted I'm also the person who can't taste a difference between brand name and no name products, so why would I spend more money.

Also, here's why eating more protein is good for you (in my likely misunderstood understanding):

3 kinds of things your body uses: carbs, fat and protein. Carbs and protein have the same calories/gram. fat has more, so you eat less fat and get more calories. so while you need some fats, the healthy ones, it's best to not eat too much. Carbs are used for energy, which is why gatorade is full of them. carbs will also be stored as fat cells in your body so you can use them for energy later (if you're over consuming). Protein is used to build muscle. without enough protein when lifting weights etc, you'll do the damage to the muscle, but not be able to build it back stronger. your body can turn protein into carbs and use it for energy if you don't have enough carbs, it can't turn carbs into protein. Also, just the energy required to digest protein is like twice as much as carbs. So like if you eat 100 calories of carbs, you'll burn say 20 calories just digesting it (I totally made all these numbers up ok), but if you eat 100 calories of protein, you burn 40 calories digesting it. I think that's called the termal effect of food or something.

Reasons you don't want to eat too much protein? I guess that it can be damaging to kidneys if you eat too much. But from what I understand that's like way too much, like super atkins, not just like an even split carbs and protein.

Anybody know if I'm wrong on any of that? suprise anybody?

why?

Why would anyone eat a regular chocolate bar and feel guilty when they could have a delicious protein bar like I just ate (detour brand) and get 15 g of protein in for only 210 calories?

yum!

you guys should feel how awesome I feel

I feel so good right now. My arms are so tired. I have to rest my arms when I type, they just feel tired when I lift them or move them. I had a great workout last night. It was like 1.5 hours of muscle wrecking (followed with 8 hours of muscle building while I slept last night, that's how it works right).

So I did a full body thing. And since I had to do so many exercises, if a machine I was going to use was full, or the weights I wanted were gone, I'd just do a different body part. Worked really really well. (I need a ton of different weights for every exercise, 5 sets right?)

I came to a conclusion afterward too. I don't know if I really changed my body in 1 day (though seriously, my muscle memory works like that so I wouldn't be suprised), but my body image changes after a hard weight day. I was all checking out my shoulders and saw little dents and muscle striations (is that a thing?) when I moved. Scared the crap out of myself when I saw my amazing 2 pack in the mirror (getting out of the shower, bent over leaning for a towel, seriously HUGE dents and bumps in my upper abs! 6 pack here I come!). After weights I feel so much more positive about my body. I do think it helps that everything is sort of tight right after for awhile. But that's my thing right? I won't ever be a long lean toned body type. I'm muscley, I should stick to what works. Cause I can seriously work this!

Today is an interval day. Though it's supposed to rain all day. We'll see, if it's not raining, Daisy and I will run to hubby's ball. if it is, I'll try some body weight circuit thing (not heavy weights, but just to get heart rate up, a TT workout thing) or maybe jump rope or something. Just me for supper, I'm cooking a chicken stir fry with lots of cabbage (since I have a lot, no other reason).

Anybody have opinions on wireless routers? SaskTEL (my internet provider) says they will rent a wireless router to me for $3/month, or I can buy one from Future Shop or something for $30 for a G router, or $60 for an N (N is supposed to be much faster I guess, but that's what I want to know from you tech geeks! opinions?)

But more laptop playing and house cleaning tonight. That same SIL and her family that were here last weekend are back again friday night for a wedding. Ugh, I'm tired of them. that's funny.

I want to say I'll go back to the gym and do another full body workout thursday, but I need to book a pedicure (not for friday night, since we've got company right) before the wedding saturday, so unless saturday morning, thursday night will likely be when I'm doing that. I'm so excited. I've never had a pedicure before (and trust me, my feet definately look like it too).

Anyway, lunch is calling since I didn't have a snack (just too busy and not hungry enough). Spinach salad with 2 hard boiled eggs (without most of yolk, given to my dog). lots of fruit and yogurt and cheese for the rest of the day.

learn to time manage randi

So all of a sudden there's like 5 things I can do at work right now. However, not big urgency with anything, need to learn to prioritize and manage my time. that's how come I'm always super busy, or dead bored.

So yesterday's date with hubby was FANTASTIC!!! As I've told him before, it's all about his attitude. And since he had the day off, was super productive and relaxed at home, and had a lot of work stress disappear, he was in a good mood. So we ate on the patio of this mexican place, and it seriously felt like we were in Mexico again (the 30 degree weather helped). It was so great.

I ordered the fajitas and they came as a make your own (which is awesome) with lots of cheese, veggies, salsa, sour cream, tortillas and of course the chicken, peppers and onions. I ate 3 fajitas, only 1 with cheese, no sour cream rice or beans, the rest veggies. And they were sooo good. I should have only had half of the 3rd cause I was pretty full after. And I only drank diet coke. Though it was so nice and date and holiday feeling, when we left I wish I had a margarita (and I don't even drink booze any more, it just would have gone sooo well with the holiday thing.)

Anyway, then we hit a couple liquidation discount stores, didn't really buy much, I didn't want to go, I just didn't want out date over. Bought a couple things for camping. didn't get home until 8:15, and it was still hot out.

But I did my HIIT run! yay me! felt pretty good. Then it was playing on my laptop and bed.

This morning I woke up early with hubby to make him a protein smoothie for breakfast. (we're talking an hour before I need to wake up.) it was nice, packed a lunch, played on my computer some more. Packed a gym bag because in 4 hours I'm going to the gym for my upper AND lower body workouts. quite excited. I love the gym. (I don't like getting home late to no supper however, plus when we just get home and before we get into anything, is the only time I really see hubby during the week. But he's got dentist and poker tonight).

So hopefully I kill my legs and arms and then do nothing but watch so you think you can dance and more laptop playing (takes a lot to transfer all the pictures etc from our desktop when you're not networked, maybe I should have spent my time figuring out how to do that instead.) Oh, and put my laundry away.

Ok, work to do.

dumb dumb dumb

So remember last weekend when I didn't eat any CHEESECAKE at the wedding, and I was just about perfect all weekend on that road trip? Yeah those were the days. Because this flipping weekend, nothing was going on, just stayed home, did some visiting and stuff, and had a carbathon. Big fat boo.

By carbathon I mean eating nearly a full batch (24) of cranberry mini-muffins, every time I passed the dish I'd pop 2 in my mouth. Ugh. I didn't sit down with chips or anything. But I had toast and bowls of cereal (the chocolate kind...) for snacks. bags of peanuts trying to at least cheat in the protein way.

And I didn't do my arm workout sunday. It was just too hot and I was too lazy. (Plus I bought a new laptop and was having fun playing with it instead!)

speaking of which, where can I go (online?) to get a really cute but not super expensive laptop bag? I didn't get the green laptop I initially wanted so I want to make up for it with a cute bag.

PLUS I finally got my Christmas bonus at work (long story), $3000! Yay! so I'm gonna treat myself with that laptop, a nice bag, a pedicure and a wax this week. Fun fun. The rest will be put to our trip in August to Banff and then whatever's left, hits the savings.

Right, so I'm bitching about how bad I am at eating. I feel like the first week I was awesome, then this last week I sucked, but I didn't gain I don't think, just didn't lose any more. So this week (with TOM) I'm hoping for a loss, and for it to be not just on the scale, but in the belly. I've got a wedding this weekend again and I'm gonna wear that same dress (different people there) and I want to be comfortable (again) that there will be no need to suck the gut in.

Anyway, that's the plan. and I know it all comes down to eating. I was listening to an interview with Valerie Waters who trains celebrities and she was talking about people who put on muscle fast (aka me) and that if our eating isn't perfect, but our training is still good, we're going to put on muscle, but not take off fat as quickly, so it'll look like we're bulking up. I'm not getting any bigger right now, but my legs are not getting any smaller (yes they're toned and blah blah, but they're still big). Anyway, she just keyed in to me that it's all the eating. Which I know. Hence I'm going to be PERFECT for the rest of this week. Watch me.

Even if we're eating out at a mexican place today for supper. Doh! Hubby and I never have dates and he has the day off today and has to run errands in the city anyway, so we agreed we'd use one of the coupons I've got for a buy one get one free supper at Cactus Joe's tex mex grill. I guess fajitas with no cheese or sour cream or guacamole are a good bet right? Plus still delicious. Never been there before so maybe they have just like steaks and stuff too. we'll see, but I'll be perfect. I promise.

And I'll get a run in today when we get home. Then tomorrow I'll do arms and legs in one workout to make up for sunday.

food today:
omlet with leftover veggies and egg whites
snack, 90 calories worth of source yogurt
lunch, spinach salad with 2 hard boiled eggs and fat free dressing, a pear and cherries
snack, canned tuna, grapes
supper, fajitas?


Plus I've been chugging the fibre juice today, so yummy and keeps me from snacking. That's a good back on track day huh?

comment about fibre

I forgot to mention this. Just because your tummy is upset or you get all gassy or bloated or whatever, does not mean that you're having too much fibre. It just means you did too much too soon. If you ate nothing but freezies for a week and then ate and apple you'd get gassy and an upset tummy, even though that's only 5 g of fibre and you're supposed to have like 30. I think it's worth it to (slowly) increase your fibre intake, it's got so many health benefits. Take a look at how much you're getting because they say that women don't get near enough (think 20-30g/day I think). If you're nowhere near that, increase it gradually over a few weeks. Really helps you feel full which is totally key when you're trying to "diet".

WI - deceiving

So my WI this morning said 136.6 or something (I never remember the decimal number). However I am not really condsidering it a gain. I know I was retaining water (my ring is a perfect indicator of this, normally it spins around very easily, almost like I should get it resized, but not if I'm bloated or whatever). And my muscles were sore from my leg workout yesterday. And from what I've read (I believe from Phit-n-phat) you definately want your muscles to hold water after a workout, so you definately want the scale to be up the next day. So I guess that's good right? Does feel a little disappointing, but no big deal. Should show up tomorrow or shortly after.

Anyway, yesterday I was tres busy after work. First hit the gym. Yay! for my leg exercises I did
- warm up of squats with 25 lb barbell
- hamstring curls on machine/deadlift (these hurt since my hammies were still kinda sore from my workout on SUNDAY)
- leg presses on machine (though I don't know how this is a Quad exercise, not a full leg one)/leg extensions
- calf raises/calf raises with legs turned out
- various ab exercises including crunches, reverse crunches, spidermans, and plank. I hate working my abs since I'm one of the people who used to let her abs pop out on exercises (like when I flex my abs, I get fatter) and it's really hard for me to remember to suck in. Plus this morning I'm SURE my waist was thicker because my ab muscles were popped out.

I also did some pullups, just for fun. Realized how much I've lost in my strength for these. Plus realized I've never done these quite properly, I some how use my chest instead of my back. I made the switch in one set and it was quite different.

Anyway, after that hit the grocery store (because I had one of those coupons from gas and I didn't want to lose it, I definately didn't need anything). I did buy more cherries and eggs in case my company decides to eat my staples.

Then I went home, cooked up some fajitas, which were only ok. It was a packaged old el paso thing. So the sauce felt very sweet and thick and fake. I like from scratch ones better, but just didn't have time. Hubby loved them. It's funny how you get un-used to the fake food thing (me) when you used to not notice (hubby).

So then I scrubbed the house top to bottom! not quite. I cleaned my spare room (which was overrun with scrap paper, and all kinds of craft things), vacuumed everywhere, cleaned all the kitchen cupboards and tables and surfaces, did dishes, swept and mopped. Then did the same in the bathroom and entryway. Then I scrubbed the tub and sink in the bathroom. While I was scrubbing the sink I remember thinking "thank God it's not an arm day!" I was seriously sweating (I also thought "you have got to do this more often Randi" so I will be). But everything sparkles and shines now so I'm happy again. Funny, I'm always DISGUSTED when I go in SILs bathroom, it smells bad (I think they have a leak or something so it just smells damp all the time). And her bathroom is so cluttered with toys and lotions and bubble baths and perfumes and every kind of annoying junk you can have but never end up using (I eventually throw it away, who wants to dust their bubble bath collection?). And she sure doesn't dust. Plus I think they're planning on re-doing it soon, but meanwhile the taps are rusting and the sink is chipped, it's just so gross. So really, my bathroom before a cleaning would be WAY nicer than theirs.

All that's left for tonight (after an interval run, which I'm going to try and do much more extreme) is finish putting away laundry and clean my bedroom (not that they come in, but their kids do, and you don't want them to comment on anything...) Hubby even did the outside, so the deck is finished and the lawn is cut. We're probably gonna have a fire tonight (maybe smores, I will resist).

Anyway, I think I've been tagged by the beautiful Jen so here you are:

5 things found in your bag:
1) Wallet
2) Coupon book filled with tons of buy one get one free meal coupons, and I NEVER eat out like that
3) Hand sanitizer I never use
4) cute little mini make-up stuff, (eye shadow, eye liner, even mini mascara!)
5) Tide-to-go pen

5 favorite things in your room
1) My stack of fitness, oxygen, women's health, self, clean eating magazines beside my bed
2) ME!
3) My pictures on the wall (mostly of hubby)
4) A sexy little box full of fun under the bed
5) My mini library book shelf, if a book is my FAVORITE, I like to own it

5 things I have always wanted to do:
1) Be better than everyone else (honest huh?)
2) Wear a fricken bikini on the beach!
3) Go to the mountains with my hubby (coming this August!)
4) Go to Europe
5) Have a big brick house with white pillars, I'm sort of over this one, but growing up, I ALWAYS wanted one

5 things I am currently into:
1) Exercising nearly every day!
2) Blogging nearly every day!
3) Eating cherries every day!
4) Avoiding thinking of my thesis or work!
5) Planning my holiday to Banff!

I do think most of the people I would have tagged have already done it, but I really can't remember who has (I feel late to the game here). So if the following people haven't done it please do so (these are the most recent commentors I've had):
Angie All The Way , Sagan Morrow, CaRoLyN , thenewsarahsundae, Sara, ashley, Vanessa, MizFit, Tiffa, Bi0nicw0man, Dawn, eurydice.

fun fun.

ok, better do some work, i'm sure I'll post again later, very slow here today. (dudes, even my forearms are sore! crazy!)

things are better

So I was over it about 3 minutes after I posted that last one. It really wasn't a big deal. Sorta hilarious that a computer just blows up.

Yesterday I hit up Walmart after work (man I shop a lot, at lame places) for a shower curtain and wet jet refills. Also stocked up on the Crystal Light Live Active drink mixes. They have like 3g of fibre in each. Saves me having to mix benefibre into my drinks. And can I recommend this to all of you. I've never seen anybody get too much fibre (though it must be possible...) it's got all kinds of health benefits, including keeping you fuller longer. And yummy yummy like kool-aid.

Yesterday I got an interval run in, did a bunch of house cleaning, watched some dancing, I don't know what else I was doing but I felt busy. Tonight i'm going to the gym after work, doing a leg workout, then home to scrub the house top to bottom for our company this weekend. At least hubby will be home to help.

Supper yesterday was an omlete and toast instead of the stir fry, thought I'd save the steak for a fajita tonight (I was alone yesterday for supper). Been awhile since I had bread. Enjoyed it very much. Though I think I'm back on the fruit for carbs train. It just made me feel too full and like I'd over eaten too much. that's a once in awhile thing I think.

This morning my breakfast was way too big, a chocolate protein smoothie with peanut butter and banana, PLUS an english muffin. So snack was only a source yogurt (like 40 calories). Then lunch I went to my SILs house and visited her baby for a bit, ate my salad with chicken and mandarin oranges (felt very good about my healthiness as she ate her french onion soup drowning in cheese). Also ate some watermelon, and a pear. Still have carrots and hummus, a yogurt, a cheese string, grapes, a peach and a plum. Might have 2 snacks as I'm probably gonna be hungry after the gym.

The rest of the day I think will be relaxed as I'm just doing mindless computer work (though I discovered that can be exciting huh?) and listening to my podcasts. Wish me luck in the gym, I forgot my MP3 player (but it's just weights, I should be ok)

You know you're working hard when...

You know you're working hard when you blow up a quad processor modelling computer, like physically, blow it up. I get in this morning, had it opening up a model for me, then POP (like super, SUPER load) and the screen is black and the computer's off. Oh, and it smells like smoke. My ears are still ringing (and frankly I'm shaken up still. Scared me. Plus I thought it was my fault, but probably not). Seriously I feel like I was in an accident or something, joints all sore like whiplash etc. hopefully blog reading shakes me back to normal.

things

So first the most exciting - on top of feeling oh so skinny, I popped on the scale for it to show me 135.4! So even with the eating-a-thon that's been going down, looks like a loss this week! (I did a WI and did measurements this morning, and I'm down 2 lbs from a week ago today, plus an inch in my waist! (granted last week was some kind of bloated) but still! Woot!)

Second, yes there's been an eating-a-thon. Yesterday when I got home from work, I made myself a cottage cheese smoothie, then ate a banana with peanut butter, then half a protein bar, then an english muffin. And this was my "snack" before supper. Luckily it filled me up and I didn't eat anything for supper.

Then I helped hubby build the stairs for our deck for a couple hours. Then I managed to get my upper body workout in (though again, at home, so not with perfect weights). and THEN I walked my dog. And plopped in bed!

Tonight I was busy this morning so I didn't get a morning snack, but I did have a bigger breakfast (protein shake with strawberries and a banana). Lunch is a salad with a chicken breast and cherries. Afternoon we've got yogurt, cheese string (light) and carrots and hummus. Plus a plum, nectarine and an apple if I need it. (or want it). Supper will probably be a steak stir fry. I've got an interval run today, and instead of going to watch hubby's ball afterward, I'm probably gonna come home and scrapbook. Since we're getting company this weekend and I have to clean it all up. (Still working on a suprise scrapbook for SILs wedding. Lots of work)

Anyway, today i'm feeling good. Work is starting to get busy again. Doing new things always makes me think it's going bad, but it's really not. Just different, learning stuff. Getting ready for my site visit in August (ugh, mine in northern manitoba for 10 days, can you say mosquitos?)

Short and sweet one for a change! Catching up with you all now!

TOM I can see you!

Yesterday my eating, again super healthy and most fruits and veggies or lean protein, was out of control! or should I say my appetite. I ate every single thing I brought. PLUS about 12 almonds, and a Kashi granola bar. I just couldn't get satisfied. Same thing this morning. Breakfast included 2 bananas. CRAZY!

I did just realize that TOM is next week which always leads me to go a bit nuts on the eating the week before. Not so much physical hunger, but just looking for the enjoyment in eating. Liking the flavours of things too much.

Recognized. Now I can address it. Say to myself, this is just hormones, have some gum.

So yesterday I went to the grocery store after work. Spent $190!!! I buy groceries WEEKLY! However I did stock up on MEAT this time. Plus tried to get hubby sort of foods that are healthy (fat free cheese slices, he eats tons of these, crystal lights to replace the pop, etc). I bought a warehouse pack of steaks which is awesome. Plus about 24 kabobs that were on for $1 each. Probably cook these up for a barbeque sometime.

I also bought "company" food. SIL and her family is coming up on Saturday and staying at our place (they've got plans saturday night so we're just the hotel). But BIL only drinks brand name Coca-Cola, so had to buy that. Bought a couple bags of chips since I try not to keep any (that I like at least) in the house. Plus hot dogs and hot dog buns. Seems funny to buy special food like that for company. They should be able to eat the same sort of snacks we do. But at the same time I'd sooner they all eat chips than any of my cherries. I'm kind of possesive about them. Might do some kind of baking for them too. Maybe a dip or something. She always brings something like that or has it when I visit her. However I know she's on a diet so it would be better for us both if neither of us did. However then we have the "bad guest/host" thing going on.

Brings me back to how awesome it would be if all the people you hung out with were into health and fitness. Like she could bring cut up watermelon and I could just pop popcorn, or better yet, we'd plan an activity instead of just watching a movie.

Not sure why my mind jumped here but change of subject:

Last night I expressed to hubby that he has to be eating better by the time I'm pregnant because I didn't want junk food in the house then since I might not have any self control and I really don't want to turn into a house (related to his other SIL who we were talking about earlier. They try and buy their thin in their house. They bought a weight gym station thing, never used it, sold it. Bought a treadmill, then joined LA weight loss, haven't used the treadmill since. She used to to WW, but now LAWL is the thing, just hoping that buy joining or buying it, it will do the work for her. Not working out for her suprisingly.) They just bought an expensive jogging stroller. SIL has never jogged a day in her life. She never was athletic EVER, so she'd be the type to start with walking, maybe take a few fitness classes or something right? Nope, needs to have the $500 jogging stroller. They both bought bikes they haven't ridden, rollerblades they used for 2 weeks. Really insane.

Granted I don't have a 3 month old baby. So I really shouldn't talk. But LITERALLY all SIL does (when not feeding or changing etc etc etc) is sit on the couch and watch tv. I asked her to email me some pictures the other day, she replied (through email) that she was too busy. Huh? She's obviously on the computer already...

Anyway, it another one of the examples of how I use her as my what not to do. It started with her wedding (she got married 1 year before me and got a really expensive dress, did her hair in a way that she's never had it and made her look like a different person, had 4 bridesmaids and MADE us wear certain ugly jewelry and shoes, had it on a long weekend and got a bad turnout etc etc), then when they bought a house (they got a condo brand new, picked out very 80's looking paint and cupboards etc, really bad carpet, then didn't take care of their place at all, it looks 15 years old inside, not 5). They buy a new car or truck or something about every year. Have what I consider a horrible mortgage plan (some sort of crazy thing where you just pay whatever you want each month, if you miss no big deal, it just extends the time, you can take money out of it as a loan for whatever you want.), and a horrible retirement plan (don't even remotely understand it, but there are no RRSPs involved). So while she is not really that different from me when you see us together, we can talk about the same stuff, into the same movies and stuff, we are living our lives COMPLETELY different. funny. So yeah, her pregnancy and child rearing I'm sure will be NOTHING like what I do.

(we heard last night that SIL is sleeping on the air mattress in the baby room every night, while BIL sleeps in his bed in the bedroom. been like this for the last 3 months. I guess so SIL can feed Sam when she wakes up or whatever. The point of the story was that they wouldn't sleep in the same room for one night so her sister could stay with them, neither would change their arrangment. So that's super dumb. But hubby and I were both like in SHOCK when we heard they were sleeping in separate beds. I was SOOO happy. HUBBY AND I AGREED ON SOMETHING! Sorta funny, we were both completely horrified by the situation and thought it was the dumbest idea ever, if the baby wakes up so often you want her near, then put the crib in your bedroom. If not, then sleep in your own stinking bed! Again, we don't have kids so our tune might change, but it's nice that we both felt the same way initially!)

Right so that's a tangent and a half.

Last night for supper I had a left over chicken breast and a big bowl of cherries. Hubby had ball so just me. Daisy and I did our intervals to the ball diamond and then watched the game, then went for beer (well not Daisy, she went home). I was kinda hungry (since that's not a lot of food for supper) and almost got a salad in the bar but didn't. But we didn't get home until 11:00 and I fell asleep like 1.5 hours later than I usually do, plus I'm still tired from my lack of sleep on the weekend. Tonight I was going to go to the gym but I didn't bring my stuff, so I'll do an upper body workout at home, then go to bed EARLY!

Anyway, this is a very random post. We'll wrap it up here.

I can't work

How come there aren't 9 million blog posts for me to read from all my favorite bloggers? I don't want to do any work but I'm running out of distractions! I guess I'll have to do another post myself.

So something I briefly mentioned was that hubby wanted to buy a suit. The suits he has don't fit any more. He doesn't wear them often, just weddings right? But of course he can just wear a shirt and tie to cousin weddings and stuff. But his sister is getting married this fall and we heard a sale advertised on the radio so we thought we'd get it now. So we went to the expensive suit store and it wasn't good. Still too expensive (for my taste) and it didn't look right on him anyway so they obviously wanted to do a lot of alterations too. So we went to the mall and actually found a really nice one in Sears of all places. Plus it came in short so it looks good right now. I'll have to hem the pants. Anyway, I don't know anything about suits, like what the number means. But when we were buying shorts (unrelated, another store another sale) his size was like the 3rd biggest one. I'd compare it to about a size 14 in a women's store.

Anyway, at one point I mentioned to him that the wedding was 3 months away, and in that time he could probably lose 30 lbs if he really tried (it's easier for a guy, plus it's easier when you have more to lose right?). I think he didn't expect that. He basically thought that it would be like 2 lbs a month or something like the rate I was losing. So the suit we ended up getting was perfect in the coat, but the pants were a bit snug, like they'd do fine, as men's pants aren't skin tight or anything. But he got a muffin top right? So the plan is to now lose 2 inches from his waist in the next 3 months so that his pants fit fine. If he loses lots of weight, then maybe his old suits will still work. If not, then this suit. If he loses nothing, he'll just be uncomfortable. He's the MC for the wedding so I know he'd love to be able to look good in the suit, not chubby. Especially because he was MC at his other sister's wedding back when he was in good shape.

Anyway, so after we got the suit he started asking me questions about losing weight and everything. Saying things like "well I don't need to lose weight [because he's short his weight is always lower than all his friends so he doesn't see that as the problem] I just need to lose this belly, so what like 50 crunches a day?" which is obviously not the right answer. (no point having a 6 pack in the middle of the keg right?)

So I told him that there are basic rules, like eat mostly veggies and fruits, then unprocessed meats, then carby things. Sugars are basically bad. Don't eat candy at work all day, don't drink pop all day. Do those 2 things, lose like 3 lbs. Don't eat crackers and chips while watching tv, eat some fruit or veggies. Lose 5 lbs. Only drink beer once a week, lose 5 lbs. (though I didn't explain it to him in the do this, lose this way, I might try tonight). But I think I overwhelmed him. It's funny how much stuff you know about "dieting" and what foods are good and bad and when to eat them and what's more important. Sort of scary actually, where did I learn all this? What did I push out of my head in order to remember that?

I told him about fibre, and how you should eat breakfast. And how if you don't have time for a whole bunch of exercise your food has to be that much better. I told him about a cheat day. This was in the food court in the mall. While he was eating his chinese food. He went up and made what he thought was a good choice, mixed veggies, the skinny noodles instead of the fatter greasier ones, and then he had to have some meat dish, the ginger beef. And it was funny, he's doing what I USED to do.

Back before I lost any weight, I was always on a diet. I'd always think about chosing a healthier food. Like the chinese veggies over the rice. Or a clubhouse sandwich with a salad instead of fries. I used light dressings and low fat peanut butter. But I'd still eat like 1/2 a cup per day. I'd still eat burgers and fries, if we went out. But no ice cream.

What I've learned since is what works for me. Don't eat any chinese food. If you're gonna eat chinese food, know that there is no saving the meal. It's a cheat meal (which is fine, but don't justify it to yourself and convince yourself you did the healthy thing). Know that there is nothing you can do to be able to eat peanut butter with a spoon and not feel guilty. Things like that.

So I told hubby all my "rules" or just a huge list of things that if he does just 2 of them should make a huge difference. We go home and lounge in front of the tv, and it goes good for awhile, but then he gets a snack. A popsicle, not so bad, only 50 calories. But he always eats 4 of them. Ok. Then it was some gummy candies (which I had a few, oops). Then some tortilla chips. Ok. Enough. I did make little comments, teasing him about it, in case he'd just forgotten his new plan. He said something like starting tomorrow or something. mm-hmm...

BUT, I can see the desire really is there. And he always tells people that he's losing weight, (like 5 lbs over the last month, but because he weights randomly, after working a long hard hot day, so way dehydrated or whatever, or else when his clothes don't fit, so bloated and all, it's hard to say if that's water or anything). If we had to buy him bigger shorts, I'd say he isn't losing weight. But it is nice to say you're losing weight and have people be like "good for you" and stuff. It's funny how guys are. They all bug each other about their big beer bellies. Girls' weight is never discussed except to say to each other how much better they look than me and whatever. Dumb.

Anyway, hubby did mention cutting out bar food. And he has been cutting back the booze for a few weeks now. Things like this will add up. I told him he has to start eating healthier and taking better care of himself before we can get pregnant (it makes a difference in the mom but I'm not really sure if the little swimmers care about the dude's health, makes sense though doesn't it?). Plus could you imagine being pregnant and trying to not turn into a whale when your hubby eats the way mine does in front of you?

So those are the things going on with him and his waistline. It would be so helpful to ME if he decides to really do something. You know how much better you are when you're the "teacher"? Plus we could get rid of some of the junk in the house, and keep each other accountable, do the "are you sure you want to eat that?" instead of me cooking hotdogs for him and chicken breast for me.

pictures from the wedding

I am the crazy one in the front in the pink. We were getting silly at the end of the night. I was feeling very self conscious of dancing (when sober) for most of the night. But for some reason at the end of the night, I got crazy. I think I decided if I was gonna look like an idiot I might as well do it on purpose. I was doing my famous chicken dance as well as a gorilla impression that I'm quite impressed with. Plus I was dancing with the flowers like they were pompoms or something. Plus putting on my jazz hands and "I'm having so much fun" face. I'm pretty sure I was embarrassing people (like my husband).



My cousin in red's dress was really similar to mine. I like mine better.
These were my bridesmaids! My sister in black and white, cousin in beige.

My sister and I butterflying with Grandpa

So early in the evening it was not fun for some reason, but once I remembered to be silly it was all good. Gotta remember that for the wedding in 2 weeks. It'll be even better there since it's in-laws, not my family.

But the dress looked good huh?

weekend gets a 70%

I think that might be a bit low now that I'm recapping. Tell me what you think:

Friday, ate my chicken breast and veggies at home. Also got an interval run in. Everything was good there. Then we went in to see some friends who were having a mini party (8-ish people). I guess some people were there for a barbeque earlier but hubby had to work late so we didn't make it for that. However, there was food galore left out. I was AMAZING during this. There were chips and burgers and chocolate cake and tons of munchies. I had none of that. Instead I drank my diet coke like crazy. And then I'd sneak little bites from a protein bar stashed in my purse. Everyone else was getting drunk, but in a really funny silly way so it didn't bother me. We all went to the basement and played this game on the pool table called CRUD which we later changed to KRUMP and KRONK because we're a bunch of hip cool kids like that. (it's like HORSE or whatever in basketball so you can spell whatever you want) It was actually a quite physical game, and then when people got out they often would goof around on the treadmill or elliptical or with the stability ball or weights that were down there. I think that alone made me feel better. These are my very unathletic, out of shape friends who think they're still in high school so can still play sports (do you understand me if I just say they play slow pitch?).

if you want to hear more about the game I can tell you, if not skip over this part. You only need the cue ball and any other ball. You go in order and throw the ball (roll it, with your hand, no cue) and hit the colored ball. Then the next person goes and picks up the cue ball and has to hit the colored ball before it stops moving from the last throw. You can only throw from the narrow ends of the table, a double hit means it skips a player, if you sink the ball, the person after you gets a letter. If you sink the white ball, you get a letter. Whoever gets a letter, the player before them starts. It was hilarious. Everyone running around the table, getting confused when it was a skip a turn or somebody didn't know it was their turn. Much better than regular pool.

Anyway, so for that night I get 100%!

Saturday, slept in longer than I should have, but we didn't get home until 2:30. I got up, weeded the garden, took Daisy on a quick bike ride (I wanted to tire her out since she'd be in her dog run for 28 hours without exercise [though it's not cruel, she can run back and forth in there, it's just not that big]) then I had to shower and get dressed and packed and everything. I was gonna do a leg workout but no time. I had a breakfast and packed a bunch of protein bars, portioned out trailmix etc. Ate a big bowl of cherries on the way in. Then grabbed a 6" turkey breast sub with no cheese and mustard on the road. It was a 3 hour drive, so I also snacked on some beef jerky just before we got there. So far so good!

Just drank diet coke all night. points there. Even though I tried hubby's drink and it actually tasted really really good. Some kind of orange juice thing. (My whole family thinks I'm pregnant, so I tried his drink in front of a bunch of people to show that yes I CAN drink alcohol, I just don't like to). Anyway, at the buffet supper I had a bunch of white turkey meat with cranberry sauce not gravy. And I loaded my plate with veggies. I love mashy overcooked veggies at buffets. Did eat some mashed potatoes and some creamy coleslaw, but just a bit of each of these. They weren't that good. oh and I tried a cabbage roll, also not that good. No bun. No CHEESECAKE for dessert (though it was just a no-bake, gelatanous kind). Also no wedding cake when it came around. It was just a white cake with cream cheese middle and terrible rubber icing on top. (looked pretty though). but there was no midnight lunch! I can't believe it. I was getting HUNGRY so I had another protein bar. I get a 90% for saturday, because I did fill my plate a bit too full at supper, though it was healthy-ish.

So where did that 70% come from? Sunday Sunday Sunday! I woke up early to have breakfast with my cousin who was leaving or whatever. At the hotel we got coupons for Smitty's next door. Went with my grandpa, uncle, aunt, cousin and some person I don't know. Didn't really know what I was gonna get since the whole menu is a disaster. Thinking omlet or just scrambled eggs with fruit cup, then grandpa ordered eggs benedict with a fruit cup. That sounded good and I was next so I got it. Not quite realizing that the sauce on it would be basically gravy. Thick thick white gravy. Oops. They weren't even that great. too saucy. Just eggs with the ham and muffin would have been better. But I did just have it with a fruit cup and water. So I get a 30% for breakfast. on the drive home I had a fruit and yogurt parfait from mcD's.

Didn't eat again really until 4:00 when we were back home but suit shopping for hubby (there's a sale going on). I got a BBQ chicken panini from booster juice and a snack sized juice. It wasn't a lot of food, and it was as good as I could do in the food court really. (well the smoothie wasn't necessary, but it was very small and mostly made of fruit (I watched them make it). When we got home and collapsed on the couch to watch movies for the rest of the night (Vantage Point was pretty good if you're wondering) I was hungry. So I ate a bag of popcorn (no butter), strawberries, carrots and hummus. Not bad things, but I just kept eating for the whole movie. But considering that I only ate really 3 times all day before that, reasonable.

Today I'm back on track, omlete this morning (is eggs with cottage cheese and green onion really an omlet or just eggs?). Apple, apricot and yogurt for snack. leftover chicken, grapes, hummus and carrots, another yogurt, salmon, strawberries for the rest of the work day. Supper will probably be leftover chicken again since hubby's got ball.

Yesterday I fell asleep after the movie, but I woke up at 8:30 and did a leg workout. It wasn't as solid as my arm workout because I really don't have the proper weights at home. But my hamstrings are sore today so I did something right. I was just pleased I worked out when I was so tired.

I'll be back with pictures soon!

MS Bike Tour
This September, Hubby and I are biking in the MS Bike Tour (for the second time). It's a 66 km bike ride fundraiser for Mulitple Sclerosis. If you are feeling generous and would like to give some money to a good cause (MS society! not me!) please pledge me. No pressure. I'm sure I'll be talking more about this over the next few months.

forgot #1 - my food

Yesterday's food didn't go exactly as planned. I did eat the protein bar, but didn't eat the crackers and cheese. I love how I can adapt it like that. (you all know I'm not REALLY REALLY following a hard core plan right? I still just do my own thing, that way I get total credit and don't have to thank anybody/anything when I strut my stuff!)

So today:
1 - cottage cheese smoothie
2 - (lunch, I realized that I eat too frequently in the morning, and not enough in the afternoon when I'm hungry, I only finished my smoothie at like 8:45, so now I'm waiting until 12:00, instead of 10:00 and then 12:00, just seemed too much) polynasian satay - (slow cooked teriyaky beef basically), cherries, peach and plum (we'll see how many of those I eat)
3 - carrots, hummus, yogurt, whatever fruit I didn't eat yet.
4 - crispbread, laughing cow light and salmon salad
5 - chicken breast, steamed veggies, more fruit likely.
6 - maybe a protein bar, depends what we're doing. If we're visiting with friends (it is friday night) it might be nothing, protein bar, another smoothie, yogurt. I know the rules and will play by them

Will be tricky this weekend. I can make due on saturday at the wedding, grab a salad or sub (no cheese, only mustard) on the way down, stick to the meat and veggies at supper. no wedding cake. meat and bun midnight lunch. Breakfast the next morning might be tricky. I'll pack some protein bars, it's always tempting to go for donuts or out or something and there's nothing good to be had. Lunch on the way back, people won't want subs again so it'll probably be some place that serves fries. (we're going with my sister and her bf and my little brother) I will not eat fries. I guess you can get a salad anywhere right? Plus I think we're gonna try and come home early since our neighbour is feeding our dog for us saturday, and maybe walking her, but she's gonna be in her dog run the whole time we're gone.

Ok, lunch time.

WI - I saw the 5!

So wanna hear a possible reason my self body perception could be off? I weighed in this morning at 135.8 (YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!) and then all morning was thinking 158. Only 20 some pounds more than I actually weigh. Interesting.

But did you see that guys! 135.8! and you know you do not see your personal low (around Christmas time I also saw the 5) by eating desserts at a place called calories do you? I had water. And THAT'S ALL! The place was actually very nice. They're sort of a trendy little boutique restaurant kinda thing, lots of wine and foreign beer with funny names and fancy lattes and stuff. My friend had a beer mixed with lemonaid (called something funny) that she said was really good. It was to celebrate my girlfriend's engagement. I realized her wedding next summer is going to be SOOO different than mine (though I'm sure most of your weddings were or will be different than mine.) First, I was the first one married, so when I got engaged there was a whole lot more squealing and ring oogling and excitement. After going through a wedding, I've realized what a silly thing a wedding is. (not to upset those in that stage of their life...)

I even sort of realized this when planning my wedding. I got a cheap dress ($300), and the only altering we did was hem it even though they wanted to do more. I thought it looked fine. We had it in my small town (which just makes weddings more fun, but less pretty). Looking back it was very similar to an 80's grad or wedding. Like with plastic colored table cloths, (green and yellow and white, it was Daisy themed). I bought a bunch of flowers from Safeway and my MIL made the bouquets (by tying them together, nothing fancy). We got the cake from Costco. I wore shoes from payless for half the night, the other half I wore white fuzzy slippers. The only other decorations were candles and mini lights. My uncle made the wine. The food was buffet style, even I walked through the buffet line. My mom's church choir did the music at church, my aunt took pictures, my cousin did video. Favours were candy hearts tied together in tulle with ribbon (We've always given each other a pack of love hearts just as a little I love you, or I'm sorry or whatever, and hubby proposed with a pack that he arranged for every candy to say "marry me". sweet huh?) So my wedding was the first one, and it was the "ugliest". But it was ridiculously fun. I wasn't uptight about anything. Oh, even the car we drove around in was my mom's green van that the groomsmen decorated with a bunch of plastic goose decoys for hunting. I'll try and find pictures sometime.

Then my girlfriends get married and their weddings are all beautiful and in hotels and they got chocolate bars as favours with their names in this custom designed artwork stuff. With the trendy flowers and bridesmaid dresses and everything was crazy beautiful. But it was boring. Drinks were expensive, everyone was being very civilized, there was no garter toss. But their pictures were amazing. I'm sure they had fun. But I KNOW everyone had fun at my wedding.

Anyway, not sure what my point was there. Just my thoughts on weddings. Got one this weekend to go to. It'll be alright. My cousins and uncles are fun to hang out with. They're down and dirty farmers who'll drink until the bar's dry and just hang out and tell stories all night. (funny how the booze is on my radar for good or bad weddings when everywhere else I'm not a fan of drinking...). So even though I believe the other half of the family is more "civilized" at least our half will have some fun.

So yesterday did the BFL strength thing in the gym. Dudes, I was so excited about it, all this time to spend in the gym, and I forgot my SHOES! DUMB DUMB DUMB! But I didn't let that stop me, I drove to my sister's house, borrowed her shoes and went back to the gym (she's 10 minutes away). I figured for just strength stuff it didn't really matter that they didn't fit right. 3 bonus points for that!

The gym was busier than I expected. So I had to adjust my plan a little bit. First I did things in the wrong order, based on what weights and machines were available. That's probably wrong to tire out your bicepts before doing the back and stuff but I did what I could. I even got down right off the incline chest press machine and did pushups in like the hallway since the other machine was busy. 1 bonus point. I really had a hard time picking which weights to use for things since you have to do 4 different weights. I went too light on several but now I know for next time. I then did leg presses even though they weren't on my list, because I just wanted to see how heavy I could go. I gotta say I love the leg press machine with heavy weight (140 lbs) because I can actually feel it in my butt! Then I did a glute program on the elliptical while I caught up on celebrity magazines (30 minutes bonus workout - 2 points). Today I don't feel sore anywhere.
:( 3 penalty points. I suppose if I move around and stretch a bit I can feel a few things. But not like I wanted to be. I guess I do know I need heavier weights next time.

A couple comments from your comments:

cottage cheese smoothies are the shit! (in a good way). I got in the habit of doing vanilla protein powder smoothies because that's more convenient. But I love the cottage cheese ones more. The consistancy is fine. You notice chunks of strawberry before cheese chunks. My recipe from this morning was about 1/2 cup cottage cheese, a couple tablespoons splenda, handfull frozen strawberries, half a frozen banana, bunch of water to right consistancy. SOOOOO GOOD! Packs a mean protein punch too!

I am not at all un-used to eating this much food! It's actually probably less than normal, just more protein. I do notice that I'm hungry more than I used to be. Not all the time, but at meal time. I'm taking this to mean my metabolism is charging back up.

The BFL authorized food list online only said "this is just a sample of the food you can eat" or something. Like strawberries weren't on there. In fact a lot of fruit wasn't specifically listed. I'm not gonna assume this means they're not allowed. In fact i'm not REALLY going with the AUTHORIZED foods, rather just not eating the UNAUTHORIZED ones. I think that chickpeas have enough protein in them, that for me, I'll count them as a protein source.

When I say lack of waist, I think I mean lack of hips. If I had wider hips, I'd love my waist. I just mean, lack of hourglass figure. I'm not really unhappy at all with my waist, especially from the back. It's just the pudge I get out front that bugs me. Also that picture was first thing out of the shower, right away in the morning. So the pudge wasn't that visible I guess. You should see my belly right now as I'm sitting. THAT's what I want gone. Oh, and my hair was wet, not dyed darker. It is always interesting though, hearing somebody critique their own body. When I see somebody else, I look at the parts that I don't like on me, and they don't have the same problem so I think they look soo good, I don't even ever look at hips or outer thigh fat because I don't have that problem. So if you do have that problem you'll look at me and be so jealous and think I'm crazy. know what I mean?

Oh yeah, my boobs look good in that bikini because it's the most amazing triangle string bikini ever. It's like a freaking pushup supportive bra but looks like tiny scraps of fabric. Score.

So much more I know I wanted to talk about. Probably more later then.

so far so good

So I'm like 3 days into my 84 day challenge (that doesn't sound so bad at all!) and things are going good. Aside from having a hard time thinking of protein and eating the same things repeatedly, no problem at all. I've had eggs like 3 times in the last 2 days. Either hard boiled or scrambled or omlets. It's alright I like them, but I think i'm going to get sick of them if I keep that up. I did stock up on tuna and salmon, and I'll try and do that twice a week. The carb source for every meal so far has been fruit. I love it. If fruit didn't count as a carb I'm sure I'd be doing atkins or something. Well not true, I'm eating oatmeal with protein powder mixed in (with a banana mashed in too) a lot. I peaked at the scale this morning and it showed me at 136.0 so that's sort of a loss from last week. It's so tough to say because I peak at the scale every day, and this is the first day that's shown a loss. I have this gain loss wave thing that's going on weekly (monday is always high, gradual loss until friday, then gain on the weekend, but as long as a monday is less than last monday or friday less than last friday I think it's a loss, of course my official WI is on my lowest day of the week!)

A recap of my food for the day:
1: peach cut up with splenda, smoothie with cottage cheese, splenda, strawberries and another peach
2: finesse yogurt, 6 almonds
3: curry chickpeas (not sure on the protein in this thing...I've been counting it as a protein source...), cherries
4: carrots, hummus, grapes
5: energy bar (pre-workout designed thing), almonds for preworkout
6: oatmeal with protein powder, crispbread with laughing cow light wedges.

I might stick a peach with any one of those meals. Seems good for a day huh? the supper is random because I'm not going home until after a date with the girls. So I've got from 4:30 until 7:30 to kill at the gym (sweet!) and to fill myself up so I'm not tempted when we're going out for dessert (at a restaurant called Calories, seriously). I probably will have a diet coke. If I'm feeling super deprived or like I might cave maybe a protein bar, but that's 7 meals in 1 day. Crazy.

Today I'm going to do a body part split weight thing. Since I'm at the gym anyway and didn't bring my TT workouts (which are mostly pushups and planks which I can do at home) I thought I'd do the real BFL workout. So i'm gonna do:

Chest:
Incline presses
(bench presses)
Back:
Cable rows
(pull ups)
Shoulder:
Front raises
(upright barbell row)
Bicept:
Dumbell curls
(barbell curls)
Tricept:
Dumbell extension
(dips)

The first exercise you're supposed to do 5 sets of with different weights, 12 with lighter, 10 with little heavier, 8 even heavier, 6 heaviest, and then 12 with a lighter again. Then immediately go to the exercise in () and do 12 reps. If that doesn't make your muscles sore, I don't know what will.

Sounds fun huh? I hope the gym isn't busy, I'm basically gonna be standing out in the dumbell section for like 40 minutes. Most people at the gym just use the stupid machines, or else are big macho tough guys doing bench presses. Oh well, hopefully I'll also stand out for looking so damn good right? Or at least for looking like I know what I'm doing.

Even though it is not prescribed, as I've got tons of time to kill, I'll do some cardio also. I did cardio intervals last night. Felt REALLY awesome. Did intervals like this (on the RPE scale):
2 minute warm up
1 min 6
1 min 7
1 min 8
1 min 9
repeated 5 times, the last one was more like a 10 than a 9 though which is what you want. It wasn't QUITE the BFL thing, cause the last set you're supposed to do 1 min at 9 then 1 min at 10. but you're also only supposed to do it 4 times, but I did it 5 times (I knew it was supposed to be 20 minutes, but I didn't know if the warm up counted, plus I wasn't home yet anyway). Anyway, I really really liked this workout. We'll see how I feel after weights at the gym, may do intervals, but may do some steady state lighter stuff and read a magazine (since it's a bonus workout). I can do whatever I want for it!

Didn't see hubby at all last night. I took off early from work and shopped with my sister, bought a dressy shirt, t-shirt and shorts for $20. score. Didn't get home until 7:30 (which is way too late to eat supper!) Did my workout, dishes, watched so you think you can dance. Hit the hay. Hubby went to take movies back and ran into his cousin so he went for a drink with him, then when I called and said I was in the city still he decided he didn't need to rush home and went to his house to look at cabin plans or something and didn't come home until midnight or something. I was asleep, didn't even wake up. Now tonight I'm going to be out with the girls until probably my bed time. Sheesh. Luckily he can't escape me this weekend, we're going to a wedding in Regina, booked a hotel for just the 2 of us. Maybe i'll take a picture of my cute new dress for it. (since there never seem to be any pictures of me taken at events, remember those hogfest pictures I promised? yeah.)

anyway, eating time.

free books

I sure could use somebody to pick out my books for me, and deliver them right to me so I don't have to him and haw (that's such a lame saying, my spelling makes it worse) in the library about which cover looks better. So I hope I win this contest! Check it out! ends soon! 5 opportunities to win 14 books!

Before...

first, cute bikini huh?

Critiques? My chin and upper arm look like crap in this one, wasn't expecting that. Knew all about the lower belly pudge.

Kinda not too upset with the back picture, unsure about the bathing suit wedgie, losing weight will fix that right?

Yeah this picture is blurry. Oops. Lack of waist is a problem. (or lack of hips...) Seeing a lot of upper thigh as well...

See you again in a week, or hopefully not, body fat!

yay, she picked me!

It's been awhile since I've felt the love in one of those tag things going around and I was starting to get depressed. Well not really. But I do love to feel the love and the lovely Jen has loved me lately.

So I never know who to pick in these sort of things, so I'm gonna pick the blogs in the order that I MUST read them every day (or at least check if they've posted yet). Though the actual order varies sometimes, these are the top however many it works out to:

Jen herself! She seems very similar to me (yet so different in someways too). It helps that she's only in the next province so understands things about weather and farming and whatever else us westerners concern ourselves with. ;) Seriously, her post are always a delight to read and she's always a very sweet commenter on blog. Something that I really appreciate.

We've also got Angie, who I'm sure has been tagged a dozen times already with this. Yes she's a super sweet girl, yes she's had an amazing weight loss already and is fighting for more, yes she's overcome a lot to get where she is. but I don't care about that. I love that she takes my know-it-all attitude and very sweetly tells me I'm wrong. Or just points out that other people might think I'm wrong. She does her homework, reads the books, and interviews, listens to the same podcasts as me, doesn't just jump on bandwagons, but carefully picks what she's going to do next and then does it.

Then of course there's my girl Carolyn. She too has made some awesome strides in her personal journey, but hit a wall sort of the same as I did. Lately she's been picking up some steam and is really inspiring me to do the same. Her influence on me is sort of crazy, if she's doing well then I feel like I can and should do well. If she struggles with something, it makes me question how I'm doing. Plus I think you took each of our best features and put them together, you'd have one perfect body and one...not so perfect (her waist, my legs etc etc)

Shannon is also on my must read list. She is like the pretty popular cool girl who you can't believe hangs out with you. She has really, I mean REALLY stuck it to the old body fat in the last few months which I need to see being stuck for the same amount of time. Sort of gives a girl hope ya know? I've been staying the same and she's just blown by me in her bikini!

Also gotta check Tash, though I think she's on a holiday right now so not posting much. She's new to the weight loss game as she's always been smoking hot (still is!). It has been so fun reading about all the exciting things going on in her life right now, finishing school, moving to the big city, making friends, going on trips, starting a career. Plus, even though she's got all this stuff going on, she's always cool calm and collected.

Finally rounding out my must reads is Charlotte at the great fitness experiment. She's so open with her life and her past it's fascinating. Plus her writing is so perfect, very informative (she reads like serious articles ya know?) but so entertaining and funny. Plus I'm so jealous of her actual "fitness experiement" and "gym buddies" that I just have to live vicariously through her. (in case you don't know, she really has a group of friends who go to the gym together and try the crazy classes and programs with her! Aren't YOU jealous now too?) Every post is my favorite one.

Not to say that I don't love the other blogs I read because I do, but these are the girls I gotta read before you! ;) (frankly these girls also post just about every day and comment on just about everyone of my posts, well not Charlotte but she's like a big time successful star blogger ya know? So if you want to be a must read, then post all the time, be funny, love me, and you'll move up. Plus I you have to "get" me and not be offended by this...)

Reality

So I had a little brush with reality this morning. Here I am cruising along, no I haven't been losing weight, but I haven't been gaining either. I eat pretty well, most of the time, and I work out consistantly, if not intensely. All in all I'm living the maintenance lifestyle I figure. Yeah I can do this long term.

But I'd like to be kick ass amazing for just a little while here so bring on BFL. This morning I took my starting measurements, just next to measurements I'd taken a dozen times since starting this whole thing. Last time was in May, I was expecting similar results. Clothes still basically fit the same, scale is exactly the same. So imagine my suprise when I see I'd GAINED AN INCH just about everywhere! WTF! Somewhere in here things went bad, so even though the scale was the same, the muscle was gone (from lack on intensity) and fat had replaced it (from the most of the time eating well thing). Well I'm glad that I did that. Granted it was after breakfast and I usually do it before, but that would not affect my thigh size, maybe belly. I also took before pictures in my awesome polka dot bikini (that I don't think I told you about. Yes I bought another $70 bathing suit this summer and haven't worn it yet...) Pictures are coming, we'll give them their own post.

On the way home from work yesterday I stopped at the grocery store, just to stock up on a few things for my new plan. Mostly just salad greens as I ran out. But I spent $50 and bought lots of fruits and veggies, cans of salmon, fat free miracle whip, egg white cartons, fibre cereal. I even put the fibre cereal in the cupboard and took the not so healthy chocolate cereal (though it's not as bad as you'd think) and put it away. see you in 12 weeks. So I got home all set to do my awesome first night of intensity right? I cooked a perfect supper, chicken and veggie stir fry. Ate half of what I made, so it really worked out to about 1.5 chicken breasts and a couple cups of veggies (in soy sauce and chicken stock and garlic, high sodium but I can deal). Instead of cooking rice or couscous with it (though I should have for poor hubby, I forget how men eat sometimes) I just ate it with a big bowl of cherries for dessert. I got my protein, carb and vegetable servings in right there. Oh and I also cooked with no oil since I don't need it. I did have a glass of milk, I'll have to check what that falls under.

Then I went outside and cut the grass. Planning on doing that, seeding a few bare spots and then hitting the weights. So I finish cutting the grass, and it was sort of wet so I tried to flip it over to clean out the blades (yes it's shut off!). I turn it one way and gas starts leaking out. No good. So I tried to turn it the other way and I grabbed something I shouldn't have (do lawnmowers have radiators?) and I burned my hand. I immediately ran to the tap and ran cold water for a few minutes. I burned my right hand, my middle 3 fingers. Right across the joints where they bend in. So that was at like 7:30. It hurt for the rest of the night until I fell asleep. I kept going back to the cold water, or an ice pack. I'd do that for 10 minutes then it would be too cold so I'd stop. Then it would start throbbing again. It was dumb. I hate burns too. When I was little I burned my hand on the barbeque (I used to use it as railing when learning how to walk, since we didn't have railing on our front porch, but this time it was on...) I had to go to the emergency room and all I remember is the doctor coming at me with these hockey stick shaped scissors and screaming. Plus I remember my mom and dad being scared and stressed, I was the first born. ;) Anyway, a few years after that we watched some video in school about fires and there were burns and burn victims on it (why do you show that in grade 2?) and I got sick and barfed and had to go home. Burns really really freak me out, the way that I'm sure I'm going to die in a fire or something horrible, I just have this irrational fear of them.

So I burned my hand. How was I supposed to be kick ass and intense in my weights when I couldn't hold a dumbell or put my hand on the ground for a pushup?

I wasn't too intense. But I still did it! I had to do pushups and planks with my hand on the ice pack, rest dumbells on my shoulders for squats, there were dumbell swings (ideally kettlebell but dumbells work) and I just used some crazy grip for those. I was tired at the end of each exercise, but not sweaty, and not out of breath or anything and my muscles didn't hurt. They were tired, I couldn't do another push up, but I couldn't even tell you which muscle was giving out. That's the thing with all these multi muscle exercises, I'm sure the wrong muscle fatigues first for me so I never REALLY feel it. Maybe I should do the actual body for life exercises? Theyr'e like 5 sets of just bicepts, then 5 sets of just hamstrings, just shoulders. What do you think? Angie, I especially want to hear your opinion as I know you listen to and read the same sort of things as I do, body part split as opposed to full body? Full body workouts are for fatloss right?

I could do some laundry but that's about it for the rest of the day for me (everything was taking longer because I'd have to ice my hand in the middle of everything). Hubby had to take off too, a guy he works with is having some major major life drama (recovering alcoholic, fell off the wagon, took a leave of absence from work because he's trying to get his kids in a custody battle, seems like a tv show, not somebody we actually know). He was having some kind of issue and called us, just felt like he shouldn't be alone or he'd do something dumb. Needed somebody to talk to. Hubby said that I was busy so he went himself. I would have gone, though I don't know this guy at all. He and hubby aren't even really friends, just work together. Sort of some excitement/drama when he called though. I went to bed and finished my book and read some of the Abs magazine (don't recommend it, unless you want to see dozens and dozens of different ab exercises. I'm not even a fan of ab exercises, I can feel the abs there, I need to get rid of the fat shirt on top of them. Plus, I made my waist wider when doing oblique exercises, I build muscle like that.)

Anyway. Today my hand doesn't hurt, unless I try and bend it too far. So tonight I'm going to do my HIIT. I still haven't found my Garmin. I hate how I lose stuff all the time. I have no idea where it might be. I had at at my July 1st race, then took it off in the SUV when we were eating and shopping, assumed it would be with my purse or the other bags we had, but we unpacked all that last week. I can't think where I would have put it when unpacking and hubby doesn't remember seeing it. Maybe it's under the seat in the SUV or something still. I do things like this all the time, but seriously, I can't see it having fallen out of the car or been stolen, so it's SOMEWHERE, but I have no clue. I'm sure it will turn up in 3 months or something.

Anyway, i'm taking off early this afternoon to go shoe shopping with my sister. She's going to Europe with her boyfriend in September and wants good walking shoes that aren't ugly. Plus I have no work at all to be doing. In fact, I'm the most senior person here right now so there's nobody even to assign anything to me. Nor for the rest of the week. It's nice when there's no guilt associated with that. I even slept in this morning and then went to the university so people would assume that's where I was all morning. Sweet. So I'm gonna do some trip planning. Still open for ideas regarding trips to (Drumheller) Calgary and Banff. Recommended stops, reading etc.

You guys should know something

I am sooo much more inspired and motivated at say, 9:00 or 12:00. But come 4:30 when it's time for me to go home for the day. I am NOT motivated or inspired. It sort of hit me as I'm trying to leave (slightly early, but I don't have any work to do, shhh) "oh gosh, I guess I have to workout tonight, and plan meals and actually DO the BFL type stuff in order to do this challenge" Something just happens before supper that makes me not care too much about anything but going home to my couch. Granted I feel like this all the time, but I rarely DO actually just hit the couch all night. But from 4:30 until about 7:00 that's all I want to do...

Instead I decide to post and tell you ladies about it, hopefully guilt myself into feeling good about working out. Get pumped up for it. I've got chicken breasts thawing all day, stir fry here I come. then a good hard workout at home. Focus on the HARD!

BFL!

Thanks for the excitement Angie! You made me really excited too! I realized I do need to figure some stuff out about it though. I'm sure the way I'm eating wasn't exactly BFL though I can't quite find the difference yet. Well I guess breakfast, gonna have to say goodbye to my honey nut cheerios. (though those were only sometimes treats anyway). I'm gonna up my egg eating. I like them, they're quick.

I didn't see a big list of fruit on the acceptable foods guide. Though I can't imagine they are "unauthorized" (seriously that's what the bad food is called, seems so cultlike.) The only thing that might be questionable is bananas but I'm not cutting out my favorite fruit! I think that by just eating the 6 meals a day, and the proper serving size thing should make it so it doesn't matter.

Wanna know what my goal is? Get to a size 5/6. Currently I’m between 7 and 9, depending on the store.

One thing they emphasize which may sound totally crazy to us all while we’re in the love ourselves as we are era: find a motivating emotion. Like embarrassment or something. Like focus on how bad you feel when you’re “fat”. By remembering that, you’ll stay motivated. So whatever it is you’re unhappy with right now about your body, take a picture of it and put it on the fridge or whatever and look at it every day. For me, it’s my belly. I can grab handfuls of my belly all the time, even though I’m relatively lean. Just rolls and rolls. If anybody else ever grabbed my belly and felt those, I would be SO embarrassed! Even hubby doing it really bothers me. Another motivating emotion for me would be competition, my SIL has lost a lot of weight at Curves. My other SIL has never been bigger than a size 4 in her life and (in my opinion) is always considered a “hottie” just because she’s small and blond, even though I don’t think her face is very pretty. Same thing with my sister. She’s always the hot one (as she’s skinny with long legs, long hair). I have never been the “hot” one. Even in my group of friends, one got really skinny (doing nothing but not eating, unhealthy but not eating disorder, just too busy to cook anything but rice), another has always been really lean and again “hot” and popular. I’m not the “fat” friend but I can’t really share clothes with anybody. In my other little group of friends, even the girl who is much bigger than me, seems like the hot one, blond, pretty, very girly and popular. I’m just there. I would LOVE to be the hot one, in ALL those groups! I think I need to post some pictures of me with those girls around. This really DOES make me feel motivated, but when I don’t see them for a long time, I forget how lean they are, or how I feel like the sidekick next to the superhero when I’m around them. I wanna be the leading lady, not the best friend.

I did think of another small challenge that I’ll face this week. Thursday I’m going out for “dessert” with my girlfriends to celebrate one getting engaged. If we were just going out to a restaurant or for drinks it would be easier, I could order a salad and chicken or just drink diet coke (though I think this isn’t supposed to be allowed either). But if I just get a water when we’re out for dessert it will look a bit more strange. I think I may have to address what I’m doing. Yes I’m on a “diet”. Don’t feel bad eating your cakes in front of me. I’ll just have a protein bar.

Which makes me think. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a group of friends interested in the same fitness/healthy thing as me? I heard this thing about surrounding yourself with people who have traits you want. If you want to be rich, get rich friends, then you can talk about making money. If you want a better relationship, get a really happy couple friend. If you want to be lean and fit, get lean and fit friends. I’d love to just once a month or week get together for a fun exercise date thing. Not my every day workouts because I think I wouldn’t get as much accomplished with a big group. But a fun, let’s go for a walk, do a weight circuit, meet at the gym, take a step class. Then have a supper after but it’s all healthy or something. I wonder if some of my friends would be up for this if I organized it. Sort of like a splurge club or a ladies group, but with a health focus. We could try different classes and stuff…I’m getting so excited for this and it probably won’t happen. We’ll see. I’ll ask a few girls…

Too bad none of YOU lived in Saskatchewan.

If you’re wondering why I’m just blabbing on and on, the internet’s down here at work (I’m doing this in word and then copying it over) so I can’t really do anything else…

Focus

I realized that I am not focused on the right things any more. And what I am focused on, I'm a little blurry with anyway.

What am I talking about?

Well I read some more of the Champions Body for Life. Very inspiring. Especially when you want to get super hot and fitness model like, not just fit in your old clothes (though it's good for that too! but the pictures! hot!)

Anyway, the thing I was getting frustrated with, is that I basically do the body for life thing right now. I eat 5 meals (not 6, but the same difference I figure) a day, and the TT workouts are really similar to the BFL, only they've got prescribed rep things (12, then 8 then 6 then 12 or something). The cardio is also HIIT. This is what I'm currently doing. Why don't I look like this:

(just one of the before and afters from the site)

Well turns out, I do know why. These people sign up and are FOCUSED for 12 weeks. Then they almost all keep doing it, but they know it's just a 12 week challenge and then it's done. Usually they do another 12 week thing after.

I am focused for about 4 days. Then I've got about 2 or 3 days not focused, then I'm back. And when I am focused, I'm not really, I just go through the motions. I haven't increased the weight on my workouts in weeks or done a real serious HIIT (though I seem to have lost my Garmin right now, big fat booooooooo to me!) I "jog" every couple days, for about 4 days, so what does that mean? 2/week. And I do about 2 strength things/week, though I don't push myself much. I know last summer I really was pushing myself with the strength stuff, and that's how I lost 20 lbs. Not pushing myself? = maintain like this summer...

SO I'm getting focused. I'm setting up a 12 week challenge for myself. Even though they recommend planning and getting ready and setting a start date, I'm not gonna, I'm jumping into this thing. I follow the START IMMEDIATELY way of thinking.

YAY! a 12 week challenge. Wow that's 3 months. So i'm breaking it down further into 3 4 week challenges. And I'm gonna focus and push hard. It's not just about maybe dropping some pounds. I'm going to make some serious changes. I know I can. I don't think any of the people from that site are even close to having the genetic advantages I have (I'm a crazy muscle building machine folks!). The thing they do have is focus and determination. Well lucky for me I think you can learn those things.

I'm not going to actually do the body for life workouts and stuff I don't think. I'm not really a fan of their strength exercises. They just say do 2 shoulder exercises from this list, do 2 back exercises. And they do and upper day and a lower day. I like my full body days all the time.

I think I'm going to keep doing the TT thing though. I really like the new bodyweight dumbell fusion thing that I'm doing now. It's super hard (well some things, spiderman pushups? google it) I know that some other things should be harder, but because I dont' have the proper equipment at home it's not (I'm not lifting heavy enough). Therefore, I'm going to either get the right equipment (I was just telling Angie that I think Walmart has adjustable dumbells for around $50) or else I'll go to the gym. (Since I'm paying for a membership through university still, plus side of not finishing a thesis?) I'll take a look at the workouts and probably only go 1 day/week to the gym, just to do pullups and chinups, and any cable things and maybe squats or other "heavy" things. But it's like I was reading, if you're only doing the same thing, your body with only stay the same. Even if it's something hard, like spiderman pushups, if I only ever do 10 of them, then just doing 10 is going to keep me the same, I need to do 11 next time, then 12. Then add weight or something. your exercises have to keep getting harder because our bodies adapt. Especially mine. I know this.

Using TT workouts should be a snap with this challenge. Each workout is designed to be done for 4 weeks. So each branch of my challenge will be a different TT workout. Even though I've done 2 on the workout already, I'll start with this one from scratch. And honestly, it's only 3 days of working out! (or 6 if you do only strength one day and cardio the next) My biggest problem is the eating. And here's the plan. I'll stick to the ok foods, and have none of the forbidden foods (common sense stuff, chips, fries, white rice, chocolate bars, cake etc etc) Except for 1 cheat day at the end of the 4 weeks! (you can have a cheat day every week on BFL but I have a hard time with 1 day and it usually carries over all weekend). I'll take pictures every week.

This first 4 week chunk will hopefully be my easiest. I've got a wedding this weekend and then 2 weeks. Then on August long weekend (end of first chunk) we're going to a ball tournament/camping thing. So that will be the biggest challenge. The weddings I will deal with. I know I usually eat lots of dessert and whatever there but it's not that big of a sacrifice. They're never really that good anyway right? Protein bars will be my substitute. (I've got some that are soooo good, they taste just like chocolate bars).

I can easily live without candy, crackers, white rice, white bread etc since I don't LOVE it. I can live without chips too because they make me feel worse after I eat them. Same with fries, though it's trickier since it's around so much more. One thing that will be tricky is cake and cookies, because these are brought out at celebrations and there's just a lot of focus on them. But I know that in 4 weeks, I'm going to eat nothing but cookies for an entire day so I can deal.

I'm gonna break it down further and look at each week as it comes. There's basically just 1 challenge each week, and it's on the weekends. But when you think of it like just having to "sacrifice" 1 day each week, it's not so bad.

I feel like I'm really rambling. Basically I'm doing a 12 week challenge made of 3 month long challenges, broken into weekly challenges. Piece of cake.

Genevieve! You need a blog so I can track you down and ask you more questions! Specifically dog travel questions (have you gone to the mountains with your dog? Are dogs allowed in national parks etc? Can you go to a beach with a dog? on a hiking trail? What do you do with your dog when you do people only things, like the Calgary zoo?)

Anybody else who has thoughts about this PLEASE let me know. I need to have all the answers before I go before hubby with it. He always grills me with this stuff looking for excuses not to do it!

back on the wagon

So I'm feel pretty good starting now. I had a few too many treats on the weekend. I should have sat down with a big tub of ice cream and chocolate or something then I would have felt satisfied, instead I had a little bite here and a lick there and ate fast food just because we were there, instead of building it up and looking forward to it. But everything was mostly little tastes and stuff. For example, we had our neighbours over on saturday for a fire, I ate a hotdog and a salad. then for dessert we made smores and I had 2 smores and about 4 other pieces of chocolate. So less than a chocolate bar, but still more than I needed.

Earlier saturday I went out and met with my newly pregnant friend from out of town and we sat on a patio and enjoyed our virgin drinks and lunch. I ordered a spinach, almond and cranberry salad with this mango dressing. It was awesome and felt so healthy. No sneaky cheese or croutons to up the cals. I don't know about the dressing though, but it wasn't horrible. My friend also had a salad with a side of sweet potato fries. I know sweet potato fries are better than regular fries, but in a restaurant, where they deep fry it and everything, there's really no justification right? I only had a couple anyway.

Yesterday I slept in until noon. I NEVER DO THAT! but it was cloudy and rainy so the sun didn't wake me up and the dog was happy sleeping too. We went to Costco and hubby wanted A&W, I had just eaten breakfast and wasn't really gonna get anything, just a "snack" but they don't have many options there (no fruit and yogurt parfaits or "healthy" options). So I decided the one burger looked good and ordered it, hubby had gotten a deal that came with fries, but he wanted onion rings, so we had both. I was only nibbling on fries and I look and they're half gone. Boo me! I know fries are like the worst things ever (not just calorie and fat wise, but deep fried in old oil and nasty). But I can't help it. They weren't that good either. BOO!

Supper I did right though, I had a big spinach salad with strawberries and cucumbers, and a marinated chicken breast cooked on the barbeque. Yummy, and healthy. And of course I felt better about myself also.

At Costco, hubby was buying what I consider frivolties (a new wetsuit, only $38 or something, but we don't have a boat and we've never gone to a lake ourselves, and guitar hero Aerosmith, his favorite band, but we never play rockband and we have it...) So I decided to do some retaliation shopping. Dumbest thing ever, because if we can't afford hubby shopping like that, me doing it as well is just going to worsen the problem, not fix it. (though we can afford it, I just have different priorites for money) So I bought a new bright pink fake lulu coat. It's my 5th one (blue, green, black, white and now pink). I wear them basically every day and now I can wear a different one to work each day for a week. Plus I bought the Abs Oxygen magazine. Just for motivational pictures and stuff. I'm not going to do the workouts, I've got my TT for that. PLUS I bought the Champions Body for Life book. Basically it's an updated Body for Life with lots and lots of success stories and hints and advice from successful BFLers. It's good so far. just interesting stories, so far nothing I haven't heard before (eat 6 times a day, workout for just 4 hours a week, but intensely). they haven't even given me the food and workout guidelines yet and I'm in like chapter 4, so far just how to deal with restaurants and holidays and find your motivation and whatever. There are some amazing before and afters in there though (I think you can see a lot at bodyforlife.com too, it made me feel like I was still a before picture, nowhere near the after, which is motivating). And these people did all this in 12 weeks. I have 12 weeks! That would be right before SILs wedding. totally perfect. So when I'm done the book I'll let you know if I'm gonna go that route or not. As I don't really know what it is yet I don't wanna say. (I don't think it's crazy like Atkins or anything, but who knows)

So yesterday hubby watched a couple movies and I read my book then did my strength workout. I was gonna go for a run, but he decided he wanted to come so we just walked instead. It was really nice. I knew he was trying for me.

That didn't mean we didn't have a big blowup at bedtime though. I asked if there was any time we could go on a trip this summer since it was filling up so fast. Plus since hopefully by next summer I'll either be really pregnant or have a baby so this is sort of our last year to do the things you have to do before kids (like a trip to europe, though this isn't happening. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact I will likely never go...) Anyway, I proposed just a trip to the mountains, for us that's like a 10 hour drive one way. So yes, far, and yes expensive with gas now. But it's not europe expensive. And I've been wanting to go for like 5 years. Hubby doesn't think he'll like it, he thinks he'll get bored. He's not one for just going for a hike or reading a book. If we're camping he's gonna want to have a boat and a lake and enough people for beach volleyball. And since hubby hasn't been taking his anti-depressants (which aren't so much for depression, rather his OCD and mood swings) he blew up at me and we were yelling and I was crying. I hate fights like that, we haven't really had one since hubby's been on his pills. But he doesn't fight "properly" and I had no idea what we were fighting about and it was just taking jabs at each other. Hate it. But once he blows up he feels better and we had a rational discussion afterwards. He felt like I was being too demanding, because he was super good and spent time with me, and watched movies with me and went for a walk with me, (which is what my previous requests had been) and then since I got that he expected me to be happy, but instead I came off like, "well I got that, now I need to complain about something else so let's go on a trip". Anyway, it all got worked out that I don't really care where we go, I just want to have a holiday, just him and I (which we haven't done since our honeymoon 4 years ago, and yes he complained about it just being the 2 of us, how he'd get bored and couldn't we go with other people or go somewhere closer and cheaper than mexico...) So he agreed to take a week off in August if his boss will let him and we can go for a holiday somewhere for half of it. with at least 3 days at home to get some stuff done, like the basement and yard and stuff. So I think I'm still gonna push for the mountains, because I really want to go to the waterfalls and stuff there, and I know he'd love all the elk and deer everywhere. But maybe make a big loop out of it, including edmonton for a day so we can visit friends and then calgary on the way home for the zoo or something. But that makes the gas even more money so we'll see. It may just be camping at a lake nearby. Gotta remember we've got the dog... (any advice on taking a dog to Banff or Jasper or just camping is welcome! or we could leave her at home in a kennel...thoughts?)

So even though we're both happier now that things are worked out, I still have dry eyes and a puffy face. Ugh. hydrate hydrate hydrate...

Anyway, today will be a good day. Nothing to do really a work, gonna do a bit more reading for my thesis and some body for life stuff online. And maybe trip planning! Then tonight, it's raining all day, so I kept Daisy inside, so even though it's gross out, better take her for a run or she'll be crazy. Maybe help hubby with some of his to do list so he can de-stress.

136.4 awesome

Happy new WI to me! It's a loss from recently (but WIs have been sporatic and random etc), and I think it's close to my previous low. Super awesome. I knew I was rockin' it! and with nothing planned this weekend there are relatively few challenges to shake me up. Though it is supposed to be super hot, I may indulge in a couple freezies.

I needed some good news when I woke up this morning. I had a hard time falling asleep last night. My mind usually just randomly drifts over the day and then I'm out. But in doing so last night, I thought of my sister. No big deal. Except then I thought of how she's done her thesis and getting ready to go to Europe and starting a new job and all this awesome stuff. And then that made me think about my thesis and the recent news I got about it. I should be done my edits today or tomorrow (yay!!!) so I emailed my supervisor to ask him what the next thing was, and he said I had to send it back to him and to the other co-supervisor JERK, then once they approve of it, it can go to committee for 2-3 weeks, then if it's ok, to external for another 2-3 weeks. So that would basically take me to the VERY last day before the deadline. Yuck. And that's assuming that these supervisors get it back to me reasonably soon. And in his email, he said he's gone for the next 3 weeks, and then 3 more in August. So I don't even know if I'll hear back from him with approval before summer is over. So I really couldn't sleep and had a big cry and "it's not fair" and everything pout to hubby. Just sort of gets you down ya know? when you think you're being awesome and really pushing through it to get done ASAP, then realize you probably won't be able to convocate until next spring anyway. Hubby at least told me to not worry about the tuition, it's no big deal. It's just soooo frustrating and embarrassing for people to ask if you're done your thesis yet, and you tell them, "right away" for 2 years.

Anyway, it sucks, but at least after these edits it should be out of my hands again so I can forget about it for awhile.

Last night was good. I ended up making taco's for supper (had frozen meat). I ate 2 hard tacos and had a glass of milk and that was it. Go me and the non-dessert thing! Just did some cleaning and tv watching for a little while then remembered I was gonna work out. So I did the new TT workout which was great! (side note, my membership to the site expires monday, boo, so I'm trying to download all the free workouts now while I can). Anyway, it was bodyweight and dumbell together. Various pushups and squats and then some ab stuff. It was really great. Nothing in particular feels sore today, but while I was doing it all I know I was having a hard time finishing some sets. yay! Then I went for a run with Daisy. A non garmined run so I don't know the distance or even the time but it was just a run for fun so it didn't matter. My blister from the race still hurt so I guess that needs to heal up a bit more.

this weekend there are no plans. My pregnant girlfriend is supposed to be in town but she hasnt' gotten back to me about getting together. There's a comedy fest in town that hubby and I might take in, plus we've got all these restaurant coupons so we might try something there. He has to work saturday so I will be home alone, doing a solid house scrubbing and then hopefully some scrapbooking. Maybe a strength workout, but probably no run. Poor foot, plus it's gonna be hot.

We're going out for lunch with work today. To a mexican place, so I know that's probably trouble. I'll do the best I can with choices and just try and watch my portion size. Not gonna worry too hard about it. I've only got fruit packed for the rest of the day, then chicken breast marinating for supper so the rest of the day is good.

Anyway, to get those edits done I better get on them. (hopefully the last you have to hear about it!)

rockin

So things are going good here in my neck of the boonies. Didn't work out yesterday, but I figure that's alright. I was sore from the run and the tubing still. Plus I hadnt' done any unpacking or cleaning since last friday. Yipes.

So I spent the night cleaning and doing yard work. I cut the grass, weeded the garden, picked rhubarb, watered everything. Came inside and tackled dishes and laundry. Hubby luckily had the day off and had cleaned the entire rest of the house (even the junk drawer!). I got home late though (getting groceries) so by the time that was all done, it was time for bed.

Supper yesterday was just me, since hubby goes for wings on wednesday. So I made a tuna sandwich and some stir fry veggies. No they don't go together, but they're both good. And a glass of milk, and NO DESSERT! wowsa! Didn't even really want it! I have no real explanation for it but I'll take it.

I think yesterday was a really great day foodwise. Today is shaping up to be as well. I had a pretty big breakfast, 2 toast with pb and a banana. It's hard to spread the chunky pb thin so I think I had a ton. I had no morning snack, just a tiny apricot. Lunch was leftover veggies and then 3 crispbreads with 2 light laughing cow cheese thingers. Then about half a pineapple! YUM! This afternoon, i've got hummus and carrots and grapes. Plus the yogurt from this morning that I didn't eat. It won't be all of that, but some of it will be consumed. Then supper tonight I have no plans. It might be hotdogs cooked on the firepit, hubby was talking about doing that. But I've been enjoying my unsuppers. Like open a can of soup, or just eat watermelon for 3 hours. We'll see. Since I've got it in my head that it's a good food day hopefully that will carry over to my supper decisions.

Plus I'm going to workout tonight. Do a good strength routine thing. So I feel sore tomorrow. Probably some kind of jogging with the dog since she's been extra hyper. Plus it's gonna be a hot weekend I think so I'll want to do my outdoor exercise when it's a little cooler (though it's 25 outside right now. but this weekend and next week are looking at 29ish.)

Anyway, not a lot to say. Back to thesis edits. Got none done this morning because again, stupid work got in the way.

half way to new year's!

Evaluating my progress towards my New Year's Resolutions, as it is the half way point of the year. How are you doing?

1. Be a good employee. Work hard, you're smart, act like it. I am much much better at this than I used to be. I know there are a lot of times when I still slack, but generally it's because of a lack of work to be done. Doing well here.


2. Same line, stop procrastinating. Get the damn thesis done! Seriously with in weeks here. Just do it! I am TRYING! Granted there were a lot of weeks where I should have been pestering more to get my edits back, and I wouldn't be in this rush I'm in now. But I think I've got a good plan set up for this. I'll let you know more at the end of the week!


3. Take better care of my house. Weekly cleanings need to be reinstated. Weekly cleanings have NOT been reinstated. I think our house is generally about the same as it has been. Hubby and I have just had a discussion about this and how we're really going to try and do better with it. The problem is once something's a little messy, neither of us keep up good habits (hanging up our coats, cleaning up clutter if it's already messy). But I do need to work on this one.


4. monthly dates with hubby. Don't have to be big deals, just 2 hours of just the 2 of us. movies, shopping, eating, skating, anything. But a connection time. Well it hasn't happened yet. But I do have a plan for it, and hubby is even receptive to that plan. I got a coupon book with all these buy one get one meals at restaurants and other things like mini golf and stuff. So I said those will be our dates. Now to actually do them...


5. Rein in the spending. I want to stop using our line of credit and have at least $1000 in the bank. (as I told hubby, if 2008 is the year of saving, 2009 can be the year of spending. Hubby wants a tv and stuff. He can wait a year) I think we've got a good plan for this. We do have $4000 in the savings account, we've got actually access to much more than this but it's for the basement. Once the basement is finished I've agreed that we can buy our "treats" like the tv etc. Plus we've set up individual accounts with a set limit so we can each do our own spending and saving within certain constraints. We're doing well here.



6. Get a body that you're comfortable with in a bikini. I hate that it's vague like that. But I think it means weighing like 125. Of course along with this goes, wear a bikini all summer! I guess I've started right? I wore it in public! I'm not down in the pounds like I'd like to be though. Now that my races are all done, I'm recommiting to my original goal of dropping the fat. I'm only about halfway on this one.



7. Do a race. Maybe a 5 or 10K or maybe a triathalon. I want to be fit not just skinny. I get 400% here though! I've done 4 races, with my sights set on a couple more in the fall. It is sort of cool that it's my thing now, I'm known for it among my friends. Cool.



8. Keep up the strength stuff. I like what I'm doing here and don't have any specific goals (since I already got the chin-ups!) F- here. Strength stuff has seriously dropped since picking up the racing things. Is changing now that races are done. Focus shifting. But needs work.



9. Be a better friend. Don't wait for somebody to call me to do something. Go out of my way to think of them. Done better on this. I do initiate emails and don't flake on plans like I used to. Again hubby and I were just talking about how we really like this one couple and should do more things with them. So a B for this one.



10. Do a minimum of 3 charitable/volunteery things by the year end. MS Bike Tour, maybe my race will be charity, and volunteer with something. I could do Big Sisters or soup kitchen stuff but I want to find something that's important to me. (open for suggestions) I will also encourage others to give blood as I faint every time I do it I just don't want to any more. Well I've done 1 charity thing, and am planning for the second in September. Now that I think of it, I think I've got one in October as well. They're all runs or bikes that you have to fundraise for. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind back in January when I made this resolution. But it is more than a lot of people do and I'm quite happy with it.


So looks like I'm on track mostly. Gotta work on the house cleaning thing and the strength and body thing. And dates with hubby, but that's a tricky one since it's not just me but both of us to do that one. Glad I took a look at these to help me refocus!

So many things

Let's see how many I can remember to write about...

First, my race. It was soo hard feeling. I managed to talk hubby into coming by explaining just how lame it is to finish a race, arms above your head, so proud... then put your arms down and walk alone to your car and drive home. So he came, we forgot the camera, but he did get a picture of me crossing on his cell phone, so I'll have to steal that some time. But it started with future olympians leading a warm up (which was a good warm up, who would have thought that olympic athletes knew how to warm up before exercise?) And one of the girls I totally know (though she probably forgot me). She used to date a friend of my hubby's cousin's. So we were tight. ;) Then it was line up for the start. Feeling good still, got my tunes, my Garmin. the start/finish line unfortunately was on a muddy road. So just a few hundred meters in my shoes were caked and weighing me down. But we got on some pavement soon. I was keeping a crazy pace at the beginning, but my uneducated racing strategy is to go fast when I feel like going fast. So down hills I push faster, at the start I go faster. Then when I feel tired, I can go a little slower, but it ends up just being my goal pace (but feels slow, see how sneaky I am?) Unfortunately the whole first 5k I felt like going fast, but I didn't realize that I was going slightly downhill, and the whole return 5k would be slightly uphill, and it would feel like it then. Not to mention there was a big steep hill at the halfway mark, seriously, steep like stairs, and all my training was done in my town or in the country, where it's crazy flat. I traded hill training for sprint training, so my heart and lungs got the workout, but my mind never got used to the whole hill idea. So mentally it was tough.

Oh yeah, forgot to say, got a blister at about 2km in. I managed to not think about it for most of the race, but afterwards, ew it was so gross and painfull, still is. Oh, another downer, the air was so humid and muggy breathing was tough the whole time. It ended up being a really hot day.

Anyway, as I mentioned my time (53:08) was a PB and really was great. I gave a sprint at the finish and even passed this dude. Felt cool. Got an olympic inspired medal from the olympians at the finish. Then had to stop dead because they wanted my timing chip. That was annoying. I'm basically gonna fall over and they make me stand dead still while they take my laces out. Couldn't you let me walk a bit first? It was literally 5 m past the finish line.

Grabbed some water and gatorades (hubby wanted them), piece of banana and we left. The snacks were not calling to me. However hubby was hungry, so he took me to Smitty's for breakfast. All I really wanted was a fruit salad or something, but since they didn't really have anything like that, I thought I'd aim for healthy-ish protein and have an omlet with veggies and ham. Good intentions, but it was very oily. Oh well. It was a better option than my usual post race donut binge. So we ate that at 10:30, then went home and I fell asleep for 2 hours. Woke up, got dressed and we went to the lake.

I wore my bikini!!! I was feeling pretty trim after the race (note to self, run more longer distances on my own). So I thought why not. Yay! Funny thing is that in the boat I kept my clothes on, then when I went tubing I wore a life jacket. Then when I got out again I was cold so kept a towel on and then hubby's t-shirt. So I was barely bare bellied. Sitting isn't the best time to be bare bellied anyway. Standing and laying are good. I did stay bare legged which was nice, especially since the girls we were with both wore board shorts with their suits so I got to be all jealous inducing for my lack of cellulite and hip fat. It's funny, I think we all only look at the areas we dont' like on ourselves on other girls. I noticed that the one girl had a really nice stomach and so I thought she had a better body than me. But she wore the long board shorts so obviously wasn't too happy with her legs and butt. She made a comment about me being too small for her life jacket or wet suit or something so probably because my legs and butt are small thinks I have a better body than her. Weird.

Anyway, feeling sore today, abs and legs, part from the race, probably a lot from the tubing. The lake was so rough, just them going straight, me staying in the wake, I was FLYING off my tube, just about the whole time felt like nothing was touching but my hands and elbows (I was on my stomach on top of it). I love the feeling of sore abs, makes you feel skinny.

Anyway, after that bigger breakfast, had some pretzels and crackers in the boat, then had burgers and veggies after the lake. Very good eating for a race day. Went to bed at 10:30, a little hungry but I ignored it, then hungry this morning again. Had a smoothie for breakfast. snack was a yogurt. lunch is gonna be a spinach salad with hard boiled egg. Brought lots of fruit and veggies for the rest of the day. I'm feeling sooo good about rocking the bikini yesterday. I feel so close to where I want to be. Just focusing hard for a few weeks and I think I'll be there. Loving the motivation I'm feeling now.

Cute story. Canada Day last night, there were fireworks we could see from our house. Daisy was terrified of them. She hid her head under the couch where hubby was sitting. I tried to get her out, had to pick her up like a little kid who was asleep, she wasn't having any of it. So we let her sleep in our room on our bed. I layed down and she put her head under my legs. So cute. It was probably the completely wrong thing to do with her "training" wise but she was so sad looking we couldn't put her out in her kennel.

Anyway. almost lunch time, I finished the work I had to do so now I get to do more thesis edits. They're actually going not bad. I think I'll be able to get them done this week hopefully. And they aren't making me cry or anything either so that's really good.

HBC run for canada

My official chip time: 53:08.

That's awesome. Pace of 5:19/km. Awesome

Shaved off about a minute and a half of my last race (so of course a PB!). Awesome.

I think this run was harder (as I went faster it makes sense). It had a lot more hills too. Plus running alone was harder. My awesome husband came to cheer me on though so that was great.

Then I went out on the lake all afternoon with friends of ours. Tubing was awesome. It was too windy so skiing and wake boarding sucked. (not that I can do either of those things but whatever). Such a great day. But I'm very tired now, and I have to work in the morning.

Happy Canada Day.