um no.

No, I cannot sit down in that dress right now. I agree that it mostly looks awesome, but the wrinkle part across my stomach is much more wrinkly than it is supposed to be. I'm stretching them to the max. The dress does a good job of corsetting me, sort of squishing me to fit the proper shape. Though there is a lot of room for a lower belly bulge should things get out of hand (but I can usually beat that with just a good week and lots of exercise, oh and regular bathroom trips). But still can't really sit down without thinking I'm going to bust the seams. Plus if I'm wearing it all day my posture and gut sucking abilities will not be spot on all day. It's not a lot of work, but there's room for improvement.

And if things go like this weekend, then a lot of improvement.

TOM hit me. Can you say carbs?

Sunday I don't think I had more than 1 serving of protein, and it was in peanut butter form. (well that's not true, I saw this trend and had a protein shake, but that's sort of fake food). I ate so many carby things. It was nuts.

Anyway, I did have a good time this weekend. Very busy. Friday was mellow. Then saturday went to pole dancing class for SILs stagette. WAY FUN! I couldn't actually believe how good we all looked. Good teacher I guess, or maybe it's not so hard. But we looked good I think. Too bad we're hiding the teleposts in the basement...A lot of the other girls complained that they were sore but I wasn't. I'm strong. ;) It did get you sweaty so it was sort of a workout. But only about as much as dancing. Then got changed and all dolled up and for drinks, and appetizers and games. (not so much games as embarrass the bride. Really funny. Good conversation starters except that her mom and MIL were there. so just embarrassing). Ate fairly well on saturday. Had a couple buns with mustard, a bit of spinach dip and hummus and guacamole. I did split 2 coolers with SIL. Then at the bar I had one more drink. It was a celebration, and I felt like it. No big deal. Water the rest of the night. I never had a traditional bar stagette and I used to feel sorta ripped off about it, but now I remember why I'm glad. Poor girl had to wear the buck a suck shirt (though she did make $100!!) and do various crotch shots and other embarrassing things. Being in the bar made me disgusted with the whole human race and I just got fed up with all the pathetic people in there. (or you could say I started feeling very superior and just looked down at everyone there) I left at midnight.

Got up at 7:00 to do the Breast Cancer run in the morning though! It was raining here too. And we only walked it. But 5k is still 5k so still exercise. It was sort of boring. It was nice to visit and talk with my friends while walking. But we skipped the whole post race booths and tables and just grabbed a bagel and left. Anyway, I did realize that while I am in really good shape I think, I'm not in walking shape. Seriously, my legs and back get really tired when I walk for just an hour (I'm always dead when we go golfing, mind you I carry my clubs too but still!) I can run for an hour and feel better than walking for an hour. Very weird. But I think I might start walking more. Just in addition to my other exercise.

Went home and had a nap. Then I was still tired all day and that's what lead to my carb binge. You get in that carb cycle of sugar crashes right? I tried to break it with my protein shake and it did help for a few hours. Then what else helped was getting busy. I finished neice's dress and it actually looks really cute. I'm really happy. It's not very comfortable for her (itchy inside, and she can't lift her arms comfortably, but I don't really care! It fits and looks good! we can work with the rest!). AND I started and finished the bride's veil last night. I am super impressed with myself on that. It looks really good. The tulle she got me wasn't the best for the look she wanted I think, it's too stiff, so it's a bit wider than she wanted (poofier?), but she was only planning on wearing it at the church and then in some of the pictures. And not on top of her head but under her hair. So it should be fine. So with 2 weeks to go to the wedding, I am all done all my stuff and can do nothing but get skinny! yay!

Oh, hubby went to the doctor since it's been 2 weeks for his appendix and he wanted to go back to work. Well he's not, another 2 weeks minimum at home and then maybe 2 more! Doc is being cautious since he doesn't know how the inside stitches are healing. Outside he feels fine. So it's hard for him to just sit around. At least he found some things he can work on on the computer now (he's got to do his emcee stuff for SILs wedding!). Plus he's cleaning up some of the boxes of junk from the basement. I told him he's not allowed to complain about being bored if he hasn't made supper and the house isn't clean. I'm sure I'll still be doing that, but at least he won't be complaining any more!

Anyway, today I'm beginning a damage control day. Lots of protein, (egg whites and salsa with cottage cheese for breakfast) and veggies. I'm even restricting fruit for a little while (read it in the Nutrition magazine I picked up, how to lose the last 10 lbs, stick to apples and watch all fruits later in the day). I've got tomato soup and stir fry for lunch. so I'm having 2 mini lunches instead of snacks. (dentist app't this afternoon). I'm gonna pick up some meat for supper today on the way home, since I didn't thaw anything. Maybe pork tenderloin if I can find them (for some reason my grocery store doesn't always have these!)

Then tonight I've got weight class. Should be good. Might also go for a walk or jog, it's supposed to be yucky rainy all week I think though. Try out my indoor workouts, practice for winter (jump rope?).

2 weeks to go

At least I can get it zipped up. Come 1.5 weeks if I'm not seeing a better fit I'm buying some spanx.

(I did also remember that TOM is impending so might be some bloat and cravings that should be disappearing.)

WI

So I weighed in today at 137.0. I believe that's a loss of 1 lb from last week (at least) but it's slightly up still from my BLBE starting weight. And no matter how many times I tried to pee more out or lean this way or that way, it wouldn't settle any lower (it did show lower though, just not sit there). That's ok. it's still a good weekly loss. But it's frustrating because I now only have 2 weeks until the wedding and am not feeling any smaller. But things can happen in 2 weeks.

It's also frustrating because I really really really wanted a snack last night and actually went to bed feeling hungry in my tummy (not just my mind). I made it thought that by convincing myself that I'd see a loss in the morning for sure (supper was lighter and early, done by 5:30, so I figured that food would have moved through me). no such luck.

This morning I had a smoothie for breakfast (to keep it light) but then also needed something to chew on so had a pack of all bran strawberry bites. I don't really like these much. Too crunchy not chewy. So breakfast approximately balanced out to any other day. I packed fewer snacks and a small lunch today because I'm contemplating not being at work past 11 (picking up M&D from the airport, may not go back...).

Last night I did that metabolic interval workout. It was really good. Hard. Sweaty and out of breath. Some of the things were a bit hard on my wrists but I'm just not used to them I think. I even still did it when hubby's friend came over and was sitting in the living room. Just kept crunching and lunging away. Super proud of myself for that. It recommended 1 to 2 sets of each group, and the first group i did 2, but just that took 15 minutes and I had 4 groups left so I did the rest at only 1 set. It was a great workout, and something I can do in front of the tv. All I needed was a ball and a step (which I used a kitchen chair for.)

I also finished the slideshow last night! I think I did a really good job. I used the song Memories of Us by Keith Urban. Nice country song. I even found a program and edited the song down to just the opening verse and then the closing chorus and you can't even find a seam. Awesome. I know that nobody but me is going to appreciate the music and timing and fading and everything but I think you might notice it if it was bad. Finally got that done. woohoo! Then tomorrow neice is goign to try on her dress. It had better fit! then I'll hem it, and sew the button, ribbon and bows on. Then all I'll have left is the veil and that won't take much time at all. I did have a dream (and I never remember my dreams) that it was wedding day and she went to put her veil on and I never finished it and it was all ragged at the end, but even then it didn't look bad, and she didn't care.

I'm not sure if I'll get my exercise today in. (can't remember what it was supposed to be...) Depends what I do this afternoon. If I skip work, then I will. If not, maybe not. I'm going out for supper with M&D and then supposed to go over to a friend's for a Wii party (which I could care less about. This couple is so funny, the girl is having it tonight to be mean to her husband since she knew he's be so tired from staying out late at hockey thursday. So hubby is supposed to come so husband can bitch about his wife to him. Meanwhile I am supposed to be friends with the wife...)

Tomorrow morning (depending how late we stay) I can probably fit a workout in. But that's when neice is coming over re:her dress. Then that afternoon I've got pole dancing class which is supposed to be a workout (I guess your arms right? but my MIL is coming so how tough could it be?) Then the rest of the staggette which should be really fun.

Sunday morning I've got the CIBC run for a breast cancer. Only we're walking it. Ug, not my choice. But still getting up at 8:00 and going for a walk is better than sleeping in and doing nothing. I can always run later in the day if I want. As long as I'm careful around the post race bagels!

I have a question regarding tracking for you folks - what do you do about restaurant food that isn't listed on their website? Just look up a generic whatever dish? Also, how about when you don't finish everything you measured out? (like supper last night, got full and stopped, major victory, but don't know what to track for it.)

I do think I'm going to change how I'm tracking things. Because yesterday for example I anticipated having stir fry leftovers for supper. But instead had taco leftovers. But I already tracked the stir fry. I guess technically I could have forced myself to stick to my plan, but that's really not how I roll. (the taco stuff was in their longer and won't keep as long, it's still a healthy food, I just forgot about it when planning). Plus then I didn't eat all of what I dished. I think I'm going to just get a little notebook and write down everything I eat. That way I can see myself being more accurate with the small things. Plus I don't need to freak over ingredients and stuff and entering new foods online. I think that will work better. I know what's healthy and what's not, and I can see what days are maybe more carby than they should be, or when serving sizes got too big. Doing the calorie thing is really messing with me too much I think and making me want to "cheat" and binge more than I ever have. (I do remember something like this from last time I tried to track and quit for this same reason, I went food crazy and rebelled).

It was a good exercise for me to do for a week because I saw that I don't need to worry about fibre and protein, I do just fine most days without trying extra hard. And my breakfasts make a huge difference in the daily total. I will occassionally stick the odd food or the odd day in just to check it, but I really can't do this. Please don't think it's wussing out or whatever, it really was changing how I look at food and making me think and do things that aren't me (aka opting for a 100 calorie pack because it's easier to track than measuring out baby carrots.) Plus it was taking up way to much of my time at work to find all this food and enter it. I'm still going to measure my serving sizes of things and write it all down. I can personally guarantee a loss for next week with this method!

Anyway, I only have 1.5 hours left here at work until I gotta go to the airport. Try and get something done in it! Have a good weekend!

I tracked

I did track, it's a very high protein day (thanks to an afternoon snack of tuna - yum!) and therefore a bit higher cal, 1644 (plus a diet coke, I ate my snacks early today! lord help me!) But another amazing fibre day (40 g). It's great what adding some fibre first to your cereal can do, that and eating like 7 cups of fruit and veggies (yes that's right, some of it cooked down in the stir fry though).

You guys should check out this post. It's awesome. Especially if you're an all or nothing person. "Did Buffy cry, eat cookies, and get fat every time there was an apocalypse? NO!" love it.

About my tracking, no I don't really plan it out in advance. Well a bit. As in I always eat the same sort of things for lunch, they're always healthy (unless it's eating out): spinach salad with chicken, egg or tuna, leftovers of supper the night before, homemade soup or curry i've portioned out and froze. That's it. Snacks are always a yogurt and fruit (though I'm trying to make it more veggies and now sometimes a tuna to keep the carbs in check) twice a day. Breakfast, now that toast is a treat, is always some kind of cereal with my fibre first. Supper varies a bit, but it's always a serving of meat (usually plain grilled something) and tons of veggies. Rarely a pasta or rice or whatever. I always eat like this (except when I'm bad and know it). So far with my tracking, it's just been tracking, as in learning what's in the food I eat. And so far so good. I do sometimes put it all in there around 10:00 am and realize I'm high or low so adjust supper plans, but that's about it. I did discover that I can mess around with my breakfast and it has a huge impact on the day. If I have a smoothie for breakfast, it's a lower cal day. That fibre first has 100 calories for just 1/2 a cup. Add that to my milk and mini-wheats and it's nearly 400 calories. A protein smoothie, just 160 calories. I think it's time to switch back to my multi-grain cheerios or raisin bran instead of the mini-wheats though. It's just hard to say no when you see them when you open the cupboard.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll get better at the planning with the tracking thing once I get used to how many calories are in what I eat.

I feel like rebelling again

I feel like rebelling and not tracking. I'm doing well, my food hasn't really changed since tracking, just sometimes feel good about it and sometimes feel bad about it. i'm eating just about exactly the same thing as yesterday so it feels like I don't need to. I think by saying that I'm forcing myself to track, just want you to hold me to it please.

So yesterday I cooked up a GREAT chicken stir fry. So healthy. I stir fried carrots and celery with just some water and some cooking spray (no oil, so not really frying). Added in onion, broccoli, snow peas and the cooked chicken. It filled up my wok so that the peas and broccoli which don't take any time to cook, took forever. Then added 1 cup of chicken broth, about 3 tbsp of soy sauce (still couldn't make myself measure this!). Cook it up for awhile. Then add around 1/2 cup of cold water mixed with 1 tbsp of corn starch to thicken it up. Just ate it alone, no rice or whatever. So good. Oh, I also added some ginger and some red pepper flakes, but I always add too much and make it too spicy for hubby. I forget how strong they are.

Anyway, after eating that I sat on my couch with the laptop and tried to find some of the songs you guys suggested. The hard thing is that I'm trying to match both the pictures, and the couple, and they sort of go against what I would do if it were my slideshow. I don't think they're exactly the indie music type. There's probably a country song that would be right, but I'm not really a country fan so can't think of any. That Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Ka'arkndslknelkndflsd guy (you know the one?) is probably what I'll use. It's a great song and it would be like a duh except that it was used in the slideshow at the last family wedding only about 2 months ago. Seriously people, what did you have at your wedding? (hello Angie?) if not for a slideshow then a first dance?

So I did that longer than I had wanted to (but to be fair I had to let the food get out of my stomach too). And then only laced up my new shoes with enough time for a 15 minute run before I had to go to class. So that's what I did. It was a nice fast run. Some all out sprints. And it felt fantastic in my new shoes! HUGE difference! These aren't even "running" shoes just trainers, but it was awesome with the added cushion. Just felt like there was more spring in my step. Even on the sprints. However by the end of the kickboxing class, my toes still hurt. But really that's after working out for about 2 hours. I'd say that's not the shoe's fault.

Work has improved a bit, this stupid research continues, but now I'm applying it a bit, and the boss seemed really happy with what I've done. Just about finished it I think, then I can move on to some boring data reduction work, that I've actually been looking forward to because it means I can listen to my podcasts.

Tonight I think my original plan was for pork tenderloin. However my fridge is over flowing so it's leftover night instead. Then tomorrow (which was supposed to be leftovers) my parents get back from their east coast holiday so we're probably going out for supper. Don't know where. But I can usually find something healthy. I'll try and plan lighter meals for the rest of the day too.

Exercise tonight is going to be the bodyweight metabolic intervals I talked about yesterday. I'm really excited for them. And finishing this stinking slideshow!!! Maybe doing the veil as well because then I can give it to her at her stagette saturday. We'll see. Ok, going to log food now.

YES Angie!

Thanks honey! I needed a bit of the tough love thing. (but you are sooo sweet while you do it. I can learn so much...) Duh I should weigh my chicken to figure it out. Haven't been doing that. And I didn't put those gummy candies in my tracker (they're 100 calories for 7. When I just eat 2 I think well it's like nothing anyway. But then I eat 2 at a time about 6 times, we're at 200 calories!)

I am getting frustrated with myself lately, not seeing changes as quickly as I'd like them. I really think I've gotta get shake things up a bit. Looking at food this closely just makes me want to rebel somehow. For example, last night I had a cheese slice on my hamburger. Now normally I wouldn't do this, (not worth it too me, too processed). I also had it on a bun, again, I'm not a big fan of burgers so I usually pretend it's like a round individual meatloaf and just have it with mustard. But because I had tracked and saw that I was way low on calories, I decided to top it up. Whereas another time, I was STARVING, but didn't eat an afternoon snack because it was already a higher carb day, thus leading me to overeat at supper. But I know I'm not really calculating everything properly anyway (as I said, I haven't weighed my meat, I didn't count my squirts with the Becel spray, I'm not counting my Crystal light calories, yes there are some in there, drink 5 of them a day and you're at 50 calories right?). I think I need to A) count these things better. and B) realize that not every day will be a perfect day. Assuming light activity (which based on a desk job, even with my exercise, is a good bet), I need 1960 calories to maintain. So basically anything under that is a deficit. Some days I've discovered I'm going to be eating 1700, other days 1200. This is all ok. Heck, some days might be 2000! I need to look at this in the bigger picture thing, like say weekly or something. At the same time, I also want to zoom in a bit more and stop eating half of my calories at supper. Spread things out a bit more.

ALSO, I really need to pick up my strength training. I was reinspired after reading this article by Rachel Cosgrove about how she got FATTER training for an Ironman, and then got her 6 pack back by doing NO running or biking etc. It's great for me because in one of her articles she gives a workout that can be done in place of sprint intervals for the same sort of effect. Definately handy now that it's dark so early.

Anyway, thank you Angie for that little kick in the pants, I'm all fired up now (and want to ditch work and go workout, not happening...).

tracked

So I threw all my food into the tracker again today. And what I guessed would be another awesome day showed me at 1800 calories! But it also assumed that 1 chicken breast had 370 calories. Google tells me it could be as low as 150 calories. (and since I'm having 2 today, it really adds up!) one is just a plain grilled no skin chicken breast with a spice rub. The other will be cut up into a stir fry (so I probably won't eat a whole chicken breast in that anyway). I tweaked the numbers to more reasonable values (is that cheating?) and it's now 1610 calories. Still higher than previous days but a good number. Especially looking at the protein and fibre again (131 g and 45 g respectively).

And this should make me feel better too. Yesterday I was conscious of wanting to eat all day. (I think tracking my food does weird things to me, we'll see how this pans out...) I ended up going to walmart and buying a pack of individual portioned trail mix. So I also ate 150 calories of nuts and cranberries. yum. Then I got home and hubby got cooking. I have a feeling that the bun I ate was much bigger than the calorie counter had guessed. I also ate a crapload of carrots with a little bit of becel spray and some splenda brown sugar. I also ate MORE of those gummy candies and did not work out! So even though it was a good day, ending it on that note made it feel like a failure.

(I didn't do my sprints because I didn't get home until 7:30, then after I ate it was pitched black out. could have done stuff inside but got caught up working on the slideshow.)

speaking of the slideshow - I need help. I have songs for pictures of the bride as a baby (daughter, loudon wainwright - the song at the end of knocked up, i love it, hubby thinks it sounds hillbilly. "that's my daughter in the water". thoughts?) the groom as a baby (bad to the bone, I don't love this because it might strike too close to home, he was a bad teenager, but we wanted something more upbeat and a little funny, any other ideas?) them as adults with friends and family (pictures of you by the last goodnight. She wanted this song and it works good). But for some cute pictures of the 2 of them together I can't find anything I like. Well I actually liked You and Me by Lifehouse, but it is sort of dated. but I like the feeling. Slow and lovey. Hubby likes Star by Bryan Adams but I think that sounds much more dated (there's something about a Bryan Adams song ya know?). I like the song from the Wedding Singer and the song from Juno, but I don't really think they fit the couple. Basically this song could be like a first dance song, or "our song" or something. So ladies? I know some of you were just in wedding planning mode and have been to lots of weddings lately. Hear any good songs that I could try?

Yesterday I also bought myself some new runners. Well they're trainers actually. We'll get runners in the spring again. Steering towards winter and indoor exercise. (only $70 for some Saucony's. I really like them) Tonight I've got kickboxing class. I may also try and do just 20 minutes of sprint intervals first. We'll see. (I may want to finish the slideshow instead!)