Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Strict

After yesterday of following my plan to the letter (ok, I lied, I had 2 gummy candies as well) I really felt good about my plan and counting etc. So today I knew I had a nectarine and a plum at work, so just packed my soup, grapes, 2 yogurts and carrots and peas. Had a measured out cottage cheese smoothie (1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1 cup frozen berries, water to texture, splenda to taste). Plan is for burgers for supper. So loaded that all into fitday. Even with a cheese slice on my burger I'm only at 1262 calories. And fibre is not crazy today (only 22 g) and protein is lower too, so I know I'm going to be starving and stuff. Also, my nectarine is bad here at work. So my afternoon snack will be lacking.

Scale did show me down this morning by .4 lbs from friday. So my sunday damage wasn't too bad. And I guess with such a low cal day today that will help too!

I do have to run out for work so maybe I can buy something to supplement me. But what? I do have some soy nuts here at work that might have to do the trick. (unmeasured though!)

Anyway, my run yesterday was good. It was so nice out. Today will be too. Then I did a ton of cleaning and sewing so the dress is almost done, just need neice to try it on to figure out length and if the belt thing fits and looks nice or not. I also cut out pieces for a second dress if this one ends up looking too crappy. (I wish I did that other dress from the start, sooo much simpler).

This morning I woke up with a quesy tummy. I'm guessing I may have over done the fibre a bit and it was messing with my guts. After I ate my smoothie I felt better.

Today's work is sort of sucking. I'm doing research. I hate research. I've had enough with grad studies. And this is a super important project and I can't shake my "who cares, good enough" attitude.

Really don't have much to talk about today!

Monday, September 29, 2008

plan

Monday - interval run, weights
Tuesday - interval run
Wednesday - kickboxing class (includes some weights)
Thursday - interval run
Friday - weights
Saturday - striptease workout - (it's part of SILs stagette! fun! bonus exercise!)
Sunday - HBC Run for Breast Cancer (still don't know if I'm running or walking with the team)

Food (suppers):
Monday - chicken breast - grilled
Tuesday - hamburgers - bbq
Wednesday - chicken stir fry
Thursday - pork tenderloin
Friday - homemade pita/tortilla pizza
Saturday - out for stagette
Sunday - just sandwiches or leftovers

I'm usually good for lunches, being either leftovers, soup or salad. I'm going to start to bring only 2 fruits and 1 veggie instead of the tons and tons I've been bringing. at around 100 calories each, adds up to ruin my deficit.

I'm also not going to buy bananas as I cannot be trusted around them. And I'm only allowed to have peanut butter once on the weekend. Cereal for the week. Toying with some lower carb ideas but not sure how they'll work. I think I'm going to start by having no starch with suppers. Just meat and veggies (well and I guess half a pita for the pizza friday).

I've got some damage to undo!

and i was doing so good

My weekend was going so good, the scale was showing my down already sunday morning. But I semi blew it Sunday night (well I blew the good weekend, I'm back on board for the rest of the week). I didn't write anything down or measure anything. It was on my mind and I was conscious of what I was doing, I just did it anyway. I was having a GREAT sunday, but I think maybe a bit too great, as in, I was hungry for supper at 4:00. We were driving anyway and I didn't want to wait while I thawed something and then cooked something so we ate out. I wanted a sub, hubby did not. We compomised on going to the bar where they have a salad I really like. However we get there and I do not order the salad. I order a clubhouse. with fries. And then I eat most of it. Ok, bad enough. It would still be a calorie deficit for the day though I'm guessing (like I said, a very good day so far, and I ran intervals).

But then we get home, and by 7:00 I'm hungry again. What I should have done is sat down and figured out just what I was hungry for and then had it, whatever it was. Instead I grabbed something from the kitchen and scarfed it. Nope that wasn't it, grabbed something else, inhaled it. I ate pudding and yogurt and cookies and candy. Then more of each. Bad stuff. My tummy hurt when I went to bed.

Today I'm planning on remedying by having a great day. I think my problem yesterday was that I let myself get too hungry. I had an omlete for breakfast (egg whites, red pepper, broccoli and cottage cheese, nice) with 1 slice of weight watcher bread. Then lunch was a sandwich on WW bread with 2 slices of ham, lettuce and mustard. Then a big bowl full of frozen berries with splenda. And that was it for the day until my splurge. Add that up and it's less than 500 calories until supper. No wonder I lost my mind. So today, i'm going to again, try and keep the calories low (well not that low), but I'm going to up the fibre to keep me fuller longer. And space out meals into snacks, as it works to keep my hunger in check. So the plan today (and I measured so far!)

1 cup miniwheats, 1/2 cup fibre 1, 1/2 cup milk - that's like 17 g of fibre so far! 350 calories (feel free to check my math)

I'm only going to have morning snack if I'm hungry in an hour. (but definately will have afternoon snack)

Lunch is 1 cup of my hamburger soup (again don't know the deets on that stuff) But I know it's high fiber because I loaded in the veggies, left the skin on the tomatoes, and put in lots of barley (much better than noodles).

I also have 2 50 cal yogurts, 1.5 cups honeydew melon, 1.5 cups baby carrots and snap peas, a pear, and a plum.

Chicken breast for supper. with side of like 2 cups of veggies with maybe soysauce or lemon juice. yum. Glass of milk. Throwing it all into fitday now....

Ok, assuming I only eat 1 yogurt, the pear not the plum...with an assumed "hamburger soup".

1516 calories. That's alright huh? Throw in a workout, I should be at an easy 500 calorie deficit for the day. Oh and check this out - 41 g of fibre! So who knows if I'll be able to eat all that. I'm also happy with my protein 122 g. Anything over 100 is a good day for me.

Ok, so that's the plan. Only eating that stuff.

Other weekend things were good. The concert was alright. We were stuck in traffic for over an hour so we missed the entire opening act and only found our seats as the lights went down. The crowd was a little slow getting in to it. Sorta weird, I guess that's typical in my city. I knew 2 Reba songs, and 1 was in the encore. Knew most of the Kelly songs but she played slower ones at the beginning (not exactly helping the crowd ya know?). And her 2 best were in the encore. As we left I said I could have lived with only seeing the encore. Which was really good. The rest, so so.

Saturday morning I spent in Walmart heaven. Anniversary sale. I bought a bunch of make-up and lotions on sale. some pyrex dishes at 1/2 price, vitamins at 1/2 price. New phones for the house, some groceries. I don't really know what it all was, but it was $350. So far only $10 are going back (cake pans that it turns out I do have, couldn't remember). I bought myself a fall coat for $20, it's reversible. green water proof on one side, navy fleece on the other. I thought it wasn't too bad. And I need a fall coat. But then my sister turned up her nose at the idea (though she didn't see it). She did just get back from europe so has a bit of a snooty attitude towards clothes right now.

After walmart I went to her house (she just got back friday) and heard a bit about her trip. She basically bought clothes everywhere she went. All this stuff from a Paris boutique, then a bunch of knock offs. She was in Germany, England, Ireland, Spain and France. She brought back a bunch of souviner gifts and didn't know who was going to get what. She thought she was probably going to give me this beautiful black scarf. But then found out my nice coat is brown. (plus though I really want to, I just find it hard to dress up, out of my jeans for an everyday occassion. A button up shirt would look weird on me at work. though I am inspired by her to gradually class myself up a bit.) Then maybe this purple sweater but I don't really like purple. I really liked the fake prada and gucci purses she got but she had planned on giving those to her two best friends.

She ended up giving me these cute (knock off) boots from Paris! I don't know what the style is called, but just ankle high, pointy toe, stilletto heel. So cute. And they fit! I was amazed. (our feet are the same size mostly but mine are way wider).

She also got ENGAGED to her bf in Ireland. Her ring is the prettiest I've ever seen. I wasn't the least bit suprised as I was calling this since they decided to go on the trip. But they're thinking maybe next fall or something. (which of course would be when I'm all big and pregnant...hmm, rethinking?)

So visited her for a bit. then home and sewing. Got the dress almost done. It looks only ok. The fabric was a bad choice as it pulls and puckers and requires more skill than I posess. I'm planning on hiding lots of the ugly parts with additions. Like there's a train thing that hides the ugly zipper and back seam. And I'm adding a ribbon around the waist to hide that ugly part. There are bows that are supposed to go in other places but maybe I'll just add them where I need them. (hubby couldn't really see anything wrong with it so that's good. As long as it fits, it will look ok from far away I hope. I already changed the sleeves to these things that aren't so dated, but that meant stealing from another pattern so they didn't fit the arm hole perfectly. Ugh, I just can't wait for it to be done. Let's put it this way, it's looking very homemade...

I dropped hubby off at a stag for future BIL in the city and then he spent the night at other BILs. So Sunday I watched movies and worked on the slideshow (and hardly ate we found out already) then picked him up. Sunday night I watched Baby Mama which was good, but I was expecting more. Steve Martin was the best part.

Weight class tonight is cancelled. So I'm going to do my own thing. (Did I mention I ran intervals on sunday?) Tonight will have some sprints again, then some weights. I'm totally messing myself up with that. I build muscle really easy right. Probably faster than I lose fat. So I'm scared to do too much because I convinced myself that I'd get bigger (like in my back, across my shoulders) and then not fit in my dress worse. Is that crazy? Should I be kicking up the weights like I used to and assume that I won't get bigger but they'll help me really burn fat? If I had more than 3 weeks I'd do it for sure, knowing eventually the fat would come off and I'd be smaller long term. But this is all short term! I think as long as i'm in calorie deficit I won't be putting on any sort of weight right? Muscle or fat. That's what I'm going to go with.

Anyway, very long post. But I had a busy weekend.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Boston Pizza

Lord love a place that post nutritional info online. And Lord love the half order. Have any of you found something you like at BPs that's delicious and satisfying and around 500 calories? I'm finding I'm basically stuck with a half order of pasta. Even the salads are higher (except for a side garden salad or a spinach salad, and with no protein they won't keep me going all night). The problem with everything but pasta and salad is that they come with sides, and sides are NOT pretty. This place even has a "healthy alternatives" menu. But I don't think that a wrap with no side would fill me up. (then I'd be tempted to buy a hotdog or fries or something aweful at the concert.)

Feels so wrong to be planning on a pasta. Even a half order of baked lasagna. Too much cheese right? But it's on my ok list. Start with a side salad and a drink of diet coke. It'll feel like a splurge, but be one of my lighter meals, in or out!

Rule - no appetizer. encourage them to order some seafoody thing, I don't like it anyway so I won't be tempted. (there may be an obligatory martini or something as it's a double birthday celebration and tradition, I'll stick to probably something martini like, as opposed to slushy and sugary and creamy.)


note - even their side veggies are 300 calories, 28 g of fat! YIPES!

here's the dress

I just saw this picture on facebook of a friend's bridesmaid dresses, and that's my dress! This girl is small and everything, but I think I'll look better. ;)



This is sort of like the one I was going to get, only red, and the back was different, well the front too a bit, the shirring was on the side, not the middle. but I guess i'm saying it was slightly like this one.

You thought I was serious before?

Dudes it is super serious time here in my world. I have motivation like I've never had before. and I've got a strict deadline, and it's coming fast. What's going on? I bought a dress. and it doesn't fit great. I can get it zipped up but it might burst if I try and move much. This is the dress I'm going to wear to SILs wedding on October 18. Which is like 3 weeks away. And it's not just the belly that has to go, it's the ribcage even.

It's a super cute red halter dress. I almost bought the other super cute red dress, that's really really similar (both have ruching and this 1940's Mad Men (tv show) or cocktail lounge singer feel to them. Tres sexy. Va va voom dress. from Le Chateau, in a size small. !!!!! (I'll try and get pictures this weekend)

I measured myself this morning, after a disappointing WI, though not suprising (138.0). Only my three key areas, belly button, waist and under bust. These numbers were up 0.5 to 1 inch from measurements just a week ago. Turns out I did worse than I thought in the hospital. However, that's 1 week to go up like that, hopefully I can trim those back down by next week as well. Maybe it's partly water retention. But I do definately know that I have room to do some work as well.

As such, my food journal (from where I left off)
supper - big salad, 4 cups romaine, handfull of cherry tomatoes, 3 inches worth of cucumber slices, handfull (I know I should have got some spoons out) of feta (I'm guessing 2 tbsp), half a can of salmon. 15 squirts of italian spritzer. Banana. glass of milk. 3/4 cup of butterscotch pudding (while watching grey's, for some reason I feel like I NEED a treat while watching this. next week, nothing)

breakfast - (running late, no measuring, again, I know I know, sorry) approx 1.5 cups of mulitgrain cheerios, handful (1/2 cup?) of fibre first. milk, banana. (note to self, that's a heck of a lot of bananas again...)

snack - baby carrots. 1 cup?

lunch will be hamburger soup. but I'll be back with that later.
(it's later, I had about 1.5 cups of hamburger soup, 1.5 cups of honeydew melon, water. I feel like eating some more but I'm not going to. If I get busy I'll forget.

even later, 1 cup yogurt, cheese string, apple

will be half order of lasagna at boston pizza, or maybe fettucini with different sauce, both were approx 450 calories, with salad with house dressing, and maybe 1 drink)




I got home from shopping yesterday and did a proper set of interval sprints before eating. Felt good. Didn't do anything else though as I couldn't leave the tv (one reason I HATE winter, this is the first time in ages that I've sat down and watched 3 hours of tv, heck, I haven't even sat and watched 30 minutes straight in probably 4 months! boo!) Made me wish I had a bike or the elliptical didn't squeak like crazy, I could totally do that for the whole time. Treadmill's gotta go back on the wish list I guess.

Unfortuntately today will be completely devoid of exercise. After sleeping late this morning and barely having time to get ready, feeling guilty at work for missing so much so don't want to leave early, and then tonight I've got a concert to go to! Right after work I'm headed to SILs to change, then we're going out for supper (Boston Pizza I think, I'll check it out online first, I know my favorite salad there has like 1000 calories! boo!), and then to see Kelly Clarkson and Reba McEntire! yay! I love Kelly. Don't particularly know any Reba, but my SILs are going nuts about her so I'm sure I'll know something. I guess maybe I'll be doing some dancing, sorta exercise.

Tomorrow, I can't believe it's the weekend. (3 day work weeks rock). I have a huge list - of course. It includes, going to Walmart and shopping like crazy (call me trailer trash but it is my FAVOURITE store. and it's the anniversary sale.), going somewhere and buying running shoes, going for another interval run (maybe 2, i'm super serious now!), then sewing like a demon to get this stupid dress done. I hate when it's not fun so I better just get it over with. Then I can do something more fun like sew the bride's veil. (seems fun anyway).

Anyway, I'm also going to take pictures and try and post them this weekend. And do some prep work for meals for the next week. Maybe plan everything out for the whole week so I can't screw up. Already I'm feeling deprived, I'm trying out smaller snacks but I shouldn't have started with baby carrots, they make me feel hungrier than before I ate for some reason.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

journalling

So I read a post over at Mizfit's today, talking about how journalling is totally key to successful weight loss right? and since I would like to be totally successful at weight loss I think it's maybe worth giving up my 6 year old urge to cry and scream "IDONTWANNAIDONTWANNAIDONTWANNA!!!" and maybe give it a shot. Some of you are all like "what's the big deal, I've done it for years and years and it doesn't hurt". I don't know what the big deal is. It just gives me the same feeling that finding out I have to work through the weekend would give me. I don't measure things to begin with. So in order to do this properly I'll have to do that. Obviously that's a good idea, but just another annoyance for me. Plus I don't eat a lot of packaged food, which is good, but that packaged food has the nutritional info right on the package. So I'm going to have to figure out the nutrition for all these ingredients and then divide it up for my recipes.

Ok so that's totally minor I guess. I still don't wanna. But I decided I'm going to do it. *cue encouraging comments and ass busting from the BLBE peeps*

As I only decided that right now, I won't have an accurate measurement for most of my food today since it's already packed unmeasured. But we'll estimate:


breakfast - mulitgrain cheerios (1.5 cups?), fibre first (1/3 cup?), skim milk - no idea, I didn't drink the milk out of the bowl when I was done, so how much does cereal suck up?

second breakfast - banana

That's all I got so far. I packed a bunch of food but I don't know what I'm going to eat. I know lunch will be my homemade hamburger soup, any ideas what I should do for this? It has a ton of ingredients, I didn't measure any of them. Just look up a generic hamburger soup online? but I've got beans and barley in mine as well which will up the fibre. Arg. annoyed already. Maybe I'll just focus on the food and serving size, not the macronutrients and calories. Then if I'm not seeing anything to change or seeing weight loss just from the accountability, THEN I'll try and do calories etc.

So yesterday was a gong show. After work I had to meet this girl who bought a drill off hubby on kijiji. (he's selling all kinds of junk that he doesn't need, but with him laid up, I'm the delivery girl). Then I got gas and groceries. As soon as I got home I had to go take hubby's movies back. Finally got home and could make supper (tacos) and unpack groceries and clean up the kitchen a bit (dishes etc). Ate. By now it's already 7:15. Quickly change and take the dog for a quick jog, then get home grab a water bottle and my weights and go to kickboxing. (totally need new shoes stat!) Get home by 9:45, empty dishwasher, change laundry, go to bed and read magazine for too long, finally go to sleep. Hubby slept in the bed, not the couch, so I slept really lightly trying not to bump him, and everytime he moved I'd sit up and ask what was the matter. So this morning I was exhausted.

Yesterday afternoon (only 24 hours since he got home) he called me and said if I needed him to try his cell cause he had to go to the city. I told him that he couldn't drive anywhere, he was on bed rest. Small argument ensued, I won. But it also means that in a couple hours I have to drive home at noon, pick him up, drive him to the city, run this errand for his hockey team (yeah, that's important), then drive him home and go back to work. That's probably 1.5 hours of driving alone (we live out of town right?) let alone whatever this errand is. ARG. I love him, but he is a nurses worst nightmare. He's already bored and cranky and doing things he shouldn't be and he's only been off 1 day. He's gotta be off for like a month at least.

I threatened to teach him how to sew so he could finish my neice's dress for the wedding.

Anyway, today I might stay a bit later at work to make up for all my absence lately. (though I'm pretty much done my big list of stuff). Plus I really wanna get new shoes ASAP. But when I get home, I'm going for a quick jog hopefully (even 15 minutes) then I can do weights and stuff while watching Grey's for 2 hours tonight. Sweet. Supper I think will be just leftovers, the fridge is just bursting.

Food update:
100 cal pack all bran bites (I know I know, they're for hubby, but I had to try them! nice high fibre (5g), but not that great) and 1 cup finesse yogurt (approx 110 calories, 8 g protein)

lunch - hubby made me a sandwich - roast beef, WW bread, lettuce, mayo (light I hope) and mustard. 100 cal pack Reese bits or something. small box raisins. 1.5 cups honeydew melon

snack - cheese string, 1 cup grapes, peach

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

ahhhhhhhh

So nice to get back to "normal". I'm not a person who gets stressed, but I'd say the last couple days have been close.

Hubby is fine, sleeping on the couch, probably doing too much already. He's going to be off from anywhere from 2 to 8 weeks. But I'm anticipating around 4. Mostly because he's got a physical job. Yesterday, not 24 hours from his surgery, he was holding his baby neice and picking pens up off the floor. He was discharged from the hospital about 12 hours after his surgery (boy could I complain about Saskatchewan's hospitals now!). We were home just after lunch yesterday after running around filling prescriptions and picking up some essentials (he NEEDED Captain Crunch, he had a dream about it literally when he was under anestetic.) So yesterday afternoon I cleaned the house up, refilled his water bottles, made homemade hamburger soup, planted all my raspberries that I stole from home on the weekend (and were dying in the garage...) Did 3 loads of laundry, put away all hubby's laundry that he didn't do before the weekend. Made him up some onion dip, some pudding, and was in the process of making jello when it literally exploded everywhere. LITERALLY!!!! I have raspberry jello on the ceiling...my VAULTED ceiling! (do not try and put a lid on warm jello and shake it to mix it up.) So then I spent about 1.5 hours scrubbing it out of the carpet, the loveseat, the cupboards, walls, blinds, kitchen floor, my clothes. I think I should have cleaned it off my skin a bit earlier because I'm a bit pink stained still. (this was only 1 cup of liquid, I honestly have no idea how it hit as much as it did.) I'm not exaggerating when I say there was 20 ft radius pink splatter on absolutely everything. It's still a sticky pink disaster on the ceiling and in the kitchen on all the dishes and bananas and cereal boxes and stuff. But SIL and BIL and their baby came over and I just gave up after a little while. I'll need to get the ladder from the garage tonight.

It was a bit crazy at the hospital. They had no beds ready on Sunday night so hubby had to stay in the ER, with screaming, puking people everywhere. We were in the west side hospital, aka the sketchy one. He was advised to leave his wedding ring, wallet, even his shoes with me and I should put them in the car or take them home. Then he had to wait 7 hours for his (emergency) CT scan so they could figure out if it really was his appendix. Because he'd been feeling sore for almost a week, and his white cell count was pretty much normal, they were doubting it. However where it was presenting and the type of pain he described was text book. Poor hubby was getting poked by every intern, resident and surgeon in the place. And it REALLY hurt him when they poked it.

Of course this is a "health" emergency, rather than an accident. And of course hubby only has accident insurance and I'm the one with health insurance. So he gets no money from anywhere to help cover his time off work. We have to figure out how short term disability works and see if he can get some money from that. We'll get by just fine, but it would be nice to not have to eat up all our emergency fund (though as I pointed out, this is what it's for!)

My eating has been pretty crappy as of late. The weekend was good. I had no desserts and stuck to healthy food and drinks all weekend. But sunday night was a potluck for hubby's grandpa's 95th birthday. I tried to be conscious of what I was eating, but there wasn't much for veggies and greens, so it was a pretty heavy meal. then to the hospital and all the drama there, I had one meal of chicken fingers and fries, the rest of the time I ate cookies or granola bars. I did have an apple once.

The scale is showing me at 138. So that's up 2 lbs from my BLBE starting weight. Not the best start. No excuses, I definately could have eaten better, I just didn't. But from here on out I'm back. Today I've got some chickpea curry packed for lunch, a dish of berries with splenda, yogurt, apple, nectarine and cheese string. Supper is going to be something with ground beef, maybe pasta or tacos. we'll see. (the meat's browned already)

Tonight I also have my kickboxing class (missed weights on monday). I'm not sure if I'll go or not, or if hubby will need me at home (he'll of course tell me to go though). If I stay I can still do weights at home. I will take the dog for a quick jog at least, she's going a bit nuts (poor thing has been pretty cooped up for the last few days).

Anyway, I'm back at work now, and things have piled up a bit. So I actually have some work to do! I'm going to be a bit behind in checking up and commenting on all of you so I appologize for that. I'll probably be slow again here soon.

Monday, September 22, 2008

hospital

Sorry for my absence today. No preamble here, I was in the hospital for 24 of the last 30 hours with hubby. He had an emergency appendectomy. Happens all the time, but it was slightly stressful. He's fine, out of surgery at least. Very groggy and in pain. I'm headed back in the morning. I ate like crap but it's not high on my priorities right now. I'll be back to normal in a couple days. I need to go bawl my eyes out and go to bed right now.

Friday, September 19, 2008

My big challenge - portion control

So I'm sitting here thinking that the exercise part of my weight loss/health is going great. My muscles are still sore from my classes this week (everything on the back side of my body, esp hamstrings and shoulder blades). I got 4/5 really perfect workouts in this week and still have the weekend for fun extras (shopping?). And while my eating has been terrifically healthy, I'm not in a calorie deficit, so I'm not really losing weight. It's my hardest thing, eating less. I am a super pro at not eating bad things (usually), but I still over eat. I'm definately a volume eater, needing to stuff my face (thank goodness for popcorn!), not satisfied with one square of chocolate, needing a whole bar. But I would sooner eat chips than a chocolate bar anyway because a chocolate bar is so small! You get me?

So I made this realization that just switching to healthy foods and eating like this is enough to maintain and I am quite happy with that. But to lose weight, I need to eat less. I was all pumped about this, figuring I can do it for the BLBE challenge and then move on. So excited to eat less, ready to start right now, but you can't.

Eating less is a thing that you don't do, ya know? If I was pumped to start exercising I could go out at noon for a walk at least. But to eat less, I can't do anything right now, I just have to not eat (so much). But of course i'm all pumped thinking about food and eating, so it makes me want to eat. Even eating healthy foods I could do something about right now, like eat an apple or something instead of a granola bar. But this is a non-action goal. Tough for me.

So fellow BLBE-ers, I'm asking you to keep me accountable on the portion size thing, on the eating less than I do now. I'm not going to want to tell you how much I'm eating, and I'm going to justify how much I'm eating every way I know how ("my metabolism is high from my muscle mass" "I need more food because I work out so much" "i'm eating fruit for crying out loud, you can't limit my fruit!") but I need you to watch out for these and then kick my ass when I use them. This is an ass kicking challenge, not a make her feel better about herself challenge. In fact, if I do say stuff like that, remind me of my goals, wearing a smoking hot *tight* dress at SILs wedding, being comfortable in a bikini, LOOKING like a fitness instructor. Remind me of how I feel when around my in-laws (like a giant amazon woman), how I love to be the envied one and the one people talk about, how good it feels to go shopping and have things fit. And remind me that having a banana after a full meal does not get me there, and having snacks more than 200 calories keep me from being that person. Yes it's healthy, but it's not weight loss.

In other news (like this is news!) yesterday I got home from work and before even making supper I went and did my interval run. They have gotten so much harder since I went away in August. It's ridiculous how my fitness level has dropped. I remember speed intervals were getting to easy and I was looking for hills or something else right? Well no need to worry about that now! I did 1 min sprints and 2 min recovery, I did a sssllloooowwww jog for recovery, and then for the last couple I even walked. Got home by 6:00 and made supper (which I'm not proud of). Cooled down and stretched while it was in the oven and then had the whole night ahead of me, with my workout done!

So what was my bad supper? Fish sticks and fries. The fries were good, just sliced up potatoes with some seasoning salt (I ate less than 1 medium potato worth). The fish sticks were NOT good, high cal, high fat. I blotted tons of grease off. I ate only 1 fish stick. The protein was dismal, like 7 g or something, 150 calories. So that's not horrible, (the box said a serving was 2, I saw the nutrition and then decided to only have 1, that's a step in the right direction for me, but I really shouldn't have made those at all). To fill the rest of my plate I had some pork 'n beans and a veggie medley with a couple sprays of becel. Glass of milk to finish it off.

At least I don't have those fish sticks in my freezer any more. And I won't be buying unhealthy ones like that again. promise.

Today is going to be a challenge, going out for lunch with work, don't know where. probably can find a salad on the menu. dressing on side. Then hubby and I are having a dinner date at another restaurant somewhere (I've got a big coupon book for buy 1 get 1 free, but a lot of options aren't that healthy - chicken kiev, delicious but I'm sure high cal.). I guess this will be a good opportunity to practice the portion control thing, not eat my whole plate full and then dessert.

And that leads in to my perfect weekend. I'm pretty pumped about it. I'm thawing out some frozen berries with splenda and that will be my delicious treat. NO BARS of any kind. Muffins are in the garbage or freezer. Also have to watch myself on the toast. I tend to eat a lot of toast with peanut butter on weekends. And I don't skimp the PB, nor is it natural kind. It's fine if that's a meal, but it's often a snack on weekends. NOT this one.

Ok so those are my big plans for this challenge and weekend. My WI today was 136.8. So I think that's a .2 gain from last week. not terrible, I had some bathroom issues, plus my muscles are still sore, so may be retaining water (that's how it works right?). It leaves me with 6.8 lb to lose to get to goal 1 (I don't know if this is where i'll want to stay or not.). It'll be pushing it to get it done in a month for the wedding, but still possible. Especially with all y'alls help on keeping me in line!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Can you even believe it?

I just spent a couple hours this morning looking at what it would take to become accredited to teach exercise classes! OMG!

Last night after my kickboxing/weight class I was talking to the instructor Val (because technically the class was full and the girl from registration said I couldn't take it, luckily Val was there and said we could work something out so I just hid until the register girl left, then took the class anyway. It's all good as long as I can bring my own weights, there are just so many people registered that they don't really have enough.) Anyway, so I was talking to Val about my summer and this and that and she brought up that I should think about getting accredited to teach. She thinks I'd be perfect for the step class. Whatever other place she teaches at just did the kickboxing instruction but the step is coming up in a few months and she said she'd keep me in mind when she heard about it and let me know. Holy crap that would be so cool!!!

First of all, to get my workouts in and not pay for them, but rather BE PAID! sweet. Plus I really do love teaching once I get over my nerves. When I was the TA through grad studies I ADORED it, it was my favorite thing. I contemplated getting my PhD and becoming a prof but I've just had enough of being in school for awhile. But this would be completely sweet. I love talking fitness and training, I think I know a heck of a lot about it, I stay on top of things (granted from the internet, not from studies and stuff...) and I think I would be really good at it. How cool is that?

While I was daydreaming about this I realized that I could totally do it now, but I personally respect instructors who look good, like they walk the walk right? So that sort of lit a new fire in me to get in ripped shape and "look" like a fitness instructor. (hence right now, after I already ate a kashi granola bar but still feel hungry, I'm going to chug down the water and wait for lunch)

I was just so excited by this possibily happening! I checked into different accreditations and they're basically the same price, like $300. Which isn't crazy if you've got a job lined up, but for a whatif, too much. I'm sure I'd be fine on the written tests too (I'm a book smart person, always did good on any test). I'd be nervous about the practical though, I'm always nervous just speaking in front of more senior people (lord help me when me defense comes up for my thesis in a few weeks!). Even at work here, in a formal meeting I just get nervous. But I think I could practice this away. (you have to teach a class with your instructor evaluating you).

Did I ever mention that I used to teach aquafitness classes at the pool in high school? I had no idea what I was doing.

ANYWAY, yeah so the class last night was good. There always starts out with so many people at the beginning of a session, but 4 weeks in it's halved. Which is good because it was sort of crowded for shuffling and doing kicks. I really really need to get new shoes though, my big toes aren't used to the impact like that (running is different, but I need new shoes for that too!).

I also joined Angie's challenge. If you haven't you should check it out. Details are unclear, but the thing I like, is that it's a tough love challenge. We will be kicking each other's ass if we miss a workout or make an excuse or whatever. I definately don't need people who are going to make it easy on me if I slack.

tonight I'm going to spend some time in the garden and around the house cleaning up and making it look like I was home for the last 3 nights. I will get a hard core interval workout in and then I'll have made my goal for the week. Any weekend exercise will be bonus. (which is good because I'm feeling a heavy duty cleaning session complete with carpet shampooing coming on, plus I've got to work on a slideshow and some sewing. AND we're going to go home Sunday to visit hubby's grandpa! yipes!)

Exercise has been rocking, food has been decent. I'm back to the munchies after supper. Just never feeling like I'm quite done eating. Might be related to the extra exercise. But I need to be a bit more strict about filling my plate once then having a glass of milk to finish me off. Worked before.

Well that's all I've got for now. VERY excited about the challenge all of a sudden (I think my instructor excitement is crossing over.) I mean seriously, I've got 1 month until this wedding (1 month today) and want to whittle an inch from my waist. This is time to get serious!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

gonna get busy

So I thought I'd post early. I've got a proposal that's got to go out today, and it's unlike any that I've ever done before so I really gotta go over things. therefore I'm gonna get this post out early and then work uninterrupted.

So yesterday worked out good. I went to the gym after work, got all changed and ready only to discover that I forgot to put my running shoes in my gym bag after class on Monday. So I only had my beat up street sneakers (which are more like skater shoes than gym shoes, and have no tread or arch support and are falling apart, I'm stylish like that). So I wore them anyway and didn't do any running. I figured you don't need good shoes for the recumbant bike so that's what I did my intervals on. It was a suprisingly good workout, sweat was just dripping off me and my butt was killing me. So after 30 minutes of that I hopped on an elliptical and did a 20 minute interval workout that just changed the incline every minute. It was done at a much lower intensity and while reading. But was a nice workout anyway. Tried to stretch my hamstrings which are dying from mondays class. Then changed and was off to my friend's house.

Supper was good, my hamburger soup, a whole wheat bun with becel, some spinach salad and then a mocha cheesecake for dessert. If you're going to have a dessert cheat it should be cheesecake every time. Yum.

We were going to do facials like you do at sleepovers (masks and stuff) but we just ended up gossiping all night. It was great. We talked about everything from our first periods to money to babies to sex. It was so fun. Didn't get home until 11:00 and then it took me awhile to calm down and go to sleep. Woke up tired this morning. Hate that.

Today the scale showed 137.6. So that's not a bad number all considering it was after my cheat, AND my legs are KILLING ME and therefore probably retaining water still. Tonight is another exercise class, kick boxing and upper body weights. My breakfast was cereal (I mix many cereals together), lunch will be leftover soup, supper I'm not so sure. I'm making wings for hubby (just bake them in the oven for 1 hour with the sauce on, they end up just like bar wings but not deep fried). I don't like them so I think I'm just going to have an omlete or something.

I'm already feeling time crunched with just these 2 classes each week. I had to do dishes this morning because I haven't been home to do them for 2 nights and tonight is the same. Not to mention laundry and the sewing etc I'm supposed to do. But I will have a whole day this weekend for just catching up. Plus I don't usually do things with the girls on tuesdays so I'd have that day. (I was debating in my head whether I really want to sign up and pay for 2 classes/week from now until Christmas. But I think I still do.)

Anyway, proposal isn't writing itself!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

double workout

Folks, I am seriously awesome. Yesterday I did 2 great workouts. Yes 2. After buying groceries, getting home, and eating supper, I went out for a 30 minute run with Daisy. I decided that when I go for a "run" it will be just for fun and I will not do intervals. If I go out for intervals, I will do them seriously and intensely (meaning I'll walk for the recovery and all out sprint for the work, no more varying between 6 and 8 on the RPE). So last night was a run for fun and not for fat loss (seems weird but running just isn't helping me lose fat!) So I could go fast when I wanted and slow when I wanted. I ended up just going in time with my music and went pretty fast for quite awhile. Loved it. Loved the no pressure thing of it, just do what I wanted for how ever long I wanted.

After that was done, I barely had any time to grab a water bottle and go to the bathroom before my first exercise class was starting. Last night was just a 1 hour weight class, no cardio. It was good. I realized that my legs really got out of shape over the summer. Squats were killer. Which is funny again because I've been running all summer so you'd think my legs would be good but other areas may have lost strength, but nope, vice versa. The only problem is I don't want to bulk up my thighs too much. I'm starting to really like my legs, even though they don't have tons of strength to them, they look good now. I'm going to stick to low or no weights for squats and lunges. Also, before class begins I'm going to do some glute activations (glute bridges etc) so hopefully my legs won't be doing all the work. This morning the only thing really sore are my legs (hamstrings too). Upper body was hurting last night, but it's all good now.

Anyway I was really proud of those workouts, felt like I really was kicking ass and I'd be at goal in no time. (I've got the image of the dress I want to wear to SILs wedding as a motivator in my head constantly now!) Just gotta fine tune that eating right? (last night involved some more stinkin muffins! I have to send them to hubby's work. As of now, I am done eating muffins! They're FULL of fibre, but they just trigger some sort of carb craving that I can't satisfy)

Anyway, today will be good foodwise. I had a cottage cheese smoothie for breakfast. Lunch is a salad with chicken, lots of fruit, some yogurt. Supper is going to be hamburger soup with lots of veggies and barley, buns, a salad and dessert. And that's AFTER I do some intervals in the gym for an hour (well like 30 minutes of intervals). awesome.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Moving forward

As of now I shall no longer think of what was, only what is and what will be. And now I shall discuss my imminent plans to propel me towards my goal (aka weekly goals):

1. Have a perfect weekend. Seriously, it can be done and I'm gonna prove it! All snacks will conform to my fruit/veggie and protein requirements

2. Cheat will be a minor one tomorrow. Supper with girlfriends where we will be having dessert. Don't know what it is but I can have it. (I'm brining hamburger soup and buns for the meal)

3. Do proper running intervals twice this week. Weather's cooperating.

Ta da. And that is how you erase past damage right?

I've got my exercise classes starting this week. Tonight I think it's a just weights class for an hour. Then wednesday it's cardio and weights, I think kick boxing? maybe step. I have to remember to ease into this since it's been such a long time since I did these types of things. Fun fun.

Tuesday as I said I'm going to my girlfriends house for facials and gossip. But not until 6:30, meaning I've got an hour in the gym before hand. Sweet. Going to do my first set of proper intervals then (even though it's nice out). lookout treadmills. Might also work on my chin-ups since they've fallen off the radar in the last year. Depends how sore I am from tonight for anything else. Gotta remember my mp3 player and maybe a magazine (I'm thinking I might just do some easy-ish cardio after my intervals.)

The weekend plan of perfection will be my biggest challenge. But we have no big event going on. We're going to try and go to my parents to check on their house while they're gone, and visit hubby's grandparents in the home. But I also will be doing some serious sewing (I started neice's dress, it looks ok, hopefully it fits, it was harder than I thought to work with the sheer fabric). Maybe I can bring it home part finished for her to try on before I get too much further. But if I'm keeping busy (sewing) and bring fruit for the road trip I should be able to stay on track. Road trips do get tough, but I won't bring a single granola bar since they don't fill me up at all and don't really make me feel like I've even eaten anything.

Plus the weather this week is supposed to be mid 20s so that just screams for some outdoor activity, including cleaning out my garden and planting fall bulbs and doing whatever other yard work needs to get done before snow. dirty hands aren't exactly appetizing.

So I think I've got a good plan for the week. How about you all, I know a few of you are starting over getting serious this week, what's your plan?

Bu-ooo

So my weekend wasn't so hot in terms of diet. I didn't think I was soooo off plan, and I did have a lot of salt, so the nasty scale reading could have a lot to do with that I suppose. But it showed me at 140.0, so that's up like 3 or 4 lbs from friday! Definately not the stay the same I wanted.

Friday afternoon we went lawn bowling with work. It was actually pretty fun, it was a cross between curling and bocce ball, both of which I love. But I didn't get away as early as I wanted and had to scramble to pack and bike with Daisy and everything. I managed, though my packing wasn't so hot, forgot gloves and a touque and only had the clothes I was wearing for Sunday. Oh well.

I managed to eat house food instead of take-out though. But it wasn't so much better. Just cheaper. I had my leftover burrito half from eating out on thursday. But it didn't feel like enough so I also had 2 pieces of WW toast with peanut butter. Plus some yogurt and fruit I think. too much right? But I didn't really snack too much that night. Just a 100 cal granola bar sitting by the fire. and lots of water and crystal light.

Saturday was our big ride. I ate a couple muffins before going down to register. They also had "breakfast" there, but it was just bagels and juice and bananas. I had half a banana. Then we were biking! 62 km. Took about 3 hours of actual on the bike time. All day though with breaks and lunch. I wore my garmin but forgot to hit start a couple times. I did pretty good at the snack breaks. Sticking to water and fruit mostly. Did have a couple pretzels (seriously like 2) and a cereal bar just before lunch because I was starving. At lunch I had an awesome sandwich (make it yourself) with turkey breast and roast beef, veggies and mustard on whole wheat. And a ton of carrots and celery and an apple. It was soooo good. I convinced hubby to keep biking (well guilted him into it actually but bugging him about being a quitter and how we'd have answer when people asked how it was that he quit half way.) His back was sore from hurting it earlier in the week, plus of course his butt from the seat. I was glad he kept going, but I did feel guilty because he was really cranky about it at first and if he was really hurt it would have been bad. But I think he was looking for excuses mostly. So for the last half we rode together and skipped one of the rest stops. After about half an hour hubby cheered up and we comiserated about how sore our butts were and strategized about gaining speed on downhills to make it up the next hill. It was fun, like a date, just the two of us.

We got back and it was time for supper, which was provided. It was burgers or chicken burgers. But I didn't want a burger. I just had a chicken breast with no bun. A bit of pasta salad and veggies. But I was saving up for my dessert (my planned cheat right?) I had 3 pieces of cake. and they weren't so good so it was a total waste. I remember last year the cake was amazing, but this year, dry, not enough icing. to clarify I had 1 big piece of chocolate, and 2 small pieces of white cake. Shouldn't have bothered and should have just had a couple more muffins. My garmin told me I burned 1600 calories biking. So we were joking how I could double the amount of food I normally would eat in a day and be fine. But we all know it really doesn't work that way. so that cake was my only real big mistake. BUT it was also sort of planned for as my weekly cheat.

My other mistake I guess would be not drinking enough water. But I also didn't want to pee all the time. We went to the bar after cleaning up to watch the rider game (we lost). I was hungry there too and I had a second cheat of the day. Hubby ordered dry ribs and mozza sticks (the bar had been closed for winter but opened for this night again and they had a really limited menu, even the bar didn't have any vodka!). So I had about 4 mozza sticks. Those things are horrible for you and I didn't even like them that much. I just was hungry and didn't want to go out to the car and get a granola bar. BOO me.

After the game we were all exhausted so just went back to the camp site and to bed. Sunday morning I was slow getting up and a bit sore. I had about a million muffins and a hotdog for breakfast, then an oatmeal to go bar, then a granola bar. Then more muffins. It was hangover eating without the hangover.

My big redemption is when we went to the bakery/store on our way out and everyone else was getting cinnamon buns and donuts, I got a banana and beef jerky and had myself a reasonably healthy lunch, if a bit salty. I tried chugging the liquids but that made me have to pee and we had a 2.5 hour drive. Again I munched on some granola bars (note to self, don't bring so many granola bars next time, throw in some apples!) on the drive home. But once we got home my supper was just peanut butter toast and a plum. So I didn't really have any proper meals all day sunday. I was hungry again in the evening and kept going back to the muffins, but I made popcorn and munched on that instead.

Spelling it all out like that I can see that there was a heck of a lot of sodium on sunday so that could contribute to the gain. Chugging back the green tea today (and water, but green tea right now) so hopefully I can fix this quick.

I again and not giving myself a check for this week's goals. So no new fall coat for me right now.

I'll do a new post with my looking ahead, this was looking back.

Friday, September 12, 2008

THE talk

So last night with all the running around with hubby I finally managed to get some baby talk out of him. I basically explained what I was thinking:
- maternity leave for a year is going to leave us with about $1500 a month less than we make now (at least)
- Buying baby cribs and playpens etc will be a huge lump sum hit before the baby, not to mention maternity clothes and diapers etc as more of an ongoing expense through the next while.
- Not having the basement finished means there will be no spare room or spare bathroom which we might want with a baby, not just for guests, but I doubt we'll both sleep comfortably in our double bed (yes double) with me 9 months pregnant.
- I can rein in my spending on groceries as well as clothes and frivolties (I spend $400 a month and have nothing to show for it, I can easily get this to $100 with some focus)
- I want hubby to rein in his spending SIGNIFICANTLY wherever it's easiest for him. He's probably got about $600 or $700 a month on his frivolous spending, his hockey/ball, and booze and eating out.
- If we both rein our spending in that much we can start putting that extra $700-800 a month away and build up a nice nest egg that should help cover the big lump sum costs and probably carry over to help during the mat leave income cut. (basically I want to get used to spending $1500 a month less so it's like nothing when mat leave comes).
- but at the same time I want to have a baby so I want to make all this work

His thoughts were:
- He thinks the basement can be done before we have a kid
- We also already have a big chunk of change that's supposed to be for investing and for the basement ($30,000) that we could tap into for baby.
- And also have a smaller chunk of change already build up in our savings for, well just savings (emergency fund etc).
- He thinks he can cut down his booze spending (by no given number) and get his frivolous down to $300 a month
- I don't know if he wants to...
- He wants to push off the baby stuff until he's got more of the basement finished
- He wants to talk again in 2 months to see where he's at with the basement and money
- He doesn't like having more than 1 thing on his plate so doesn't want to think about baby stuff when he's trying to focus on the basement.

That last point frustrates me a bit. Granted hubby really, really doesn't do well with stress. He ALWAYS feels super busy and stressed out and that there's too much going on, but it's just life. He gets it from his mom. She's always like "OMG things are so tough for me right now" oh why? Because she has to go to work AND make supper every day this week plus her daughter is getting married in 2 months. Like I just don't see it. But hubby's like this too. He is stressed that the basement needs to be finished. If there was a looming deadline that we weren't going to make I could see it. But when the basement is finished there will be something else going on. it's life. There are things that you always have to do. But he doesn't remember that and thinks that when he gets this one thing done things will be easy. He doesn't remember that we'll have to paint the deck and fence next summer. Not to mention probably buy a new vehicle sometime. Plus maybe then we'll want to paint inside our house. Then in a few years maybe buy new carpet. There's always some big task going on. He even forgets that with daily or weekly things. Like once I'm done the dishes and laundry there's finally going to be some time. Except you have to do dishes again the next day. And laundry again the next week. Anyway I've talked about that before how I just don't get "stress" in him.

But to counter his points, I don't want to dip into our big money. That's mortgaged money when we redid our mortgage. It seems ridiculous to use it for anything except going back into the house or investing and getting a better return than we're paying. Yes we've got our small lump sum and that makes me feel better. (like $3000 so far?) Plus he pointed out that Christmas bonuses can go toward baby stuff and things like that. He also can talk a big game about how he's gonna stop spending so much money, but it's hard for him once he's used to it. If we want it to stick we'll have to set up an automatic withdrawl every month for baby savings. He's really really good at paying bills, but not saving. So payment plans work for him. As for waiting 2 months and then talking about it, that sort of upset me when he said it, but when I think about it, that's only like a few weeks longer than I was thinking. He was thinking we'd start trying around Christmas, but he also didn't remember that it might not happen as soon as we start trying (I heard the average was 4 months but I also know people who it was like a year).

I was upset yesterday a bit after talking to him, since I had already hyped myself up about it. I often do this, think about something for a long time (I first posted about it in May I think) and plan it but never get around to talking to hubby about it, yet think I did and that we're on the same page, and then get upset when we're not. But when I think about it, we're only 1 page apart, (or a couple months) so it could be a lot worse. Plus he also wants to get the basement done pronto so we can still have an office and spare room when baby comes. (having never finished a basement on our own before we don't know if it could be done in 9 months of working evenings and weekends, that is when he's not too tired or has other plans).

The other thing that's sort of tripping us up is our car. We've got the new Envoy SUV which is good for baby seats and the dog and everything. Good warrantee etc. But we've also got our baby, the sports car Celica. Which has no air conditioning, and that also affects the defrost I found out (it still works, but when you turn defrost on, it turns AC on, and that will stall the car unless you're going above 40. you only have to wait 1 second after turning defrost on and then push AC and turn it off but still right?) So we're thinking of getting rid of that. It really isn't family friendly anyway. But we could wait until the spring (I can deal with the defrost thing over winter) then get rid of it, but we were sort of thinking of doing that in the winter when people won't care so much if you say the AC doesn't work.) And then when we sell it we'd need another vehicle, we could get a good on gas commuter car for me, but that's another car payment (the car is paid off) which would drop our money even lower right? Or we could get a junker truck for hubby to drive to work (paid in full with the car money). But it's just another thing right? Arg. He thought we could be a 1 vehicle family but I don't know if I could stand being stuck at home with no option of driving anywhere while on mat leave. I couldn't go to baby and mommy classes or get groceries or go to doctor appointments with out him then.

Anyway where it sits now, we're going to talk again after the wedding. Meanwhile I at least am going to really tighten my spending belt. I think hubby is going to as well. Plus starting probably next week, maybe after, we're getting really serious about the basement (as in I am cleaning out boxes and getting rid of stuff, hubby is going to continue insulating etc). I am ok with this.

I'm still a rock star

I've got my rock moves. And they just lead me to a 1.2 lb loss this week! 136.6! yay! Getting back down there!

So that's even with chinese and mexican and McDonalds during the week. I AM a rock star!

So yesterday for supper because of a shmozzle with dropping in-law's vehicles around and stuff, hubby and I were in town until 5:30 and still had to return stuff at Walmart. I was starving (since I was skimping on snacks to make up for mexican at lunch), so we ate at McDonalds in Walmart. I got the 2 chicken fajitas and a fruit and yogurt parfait and he got the southwest grilled chicken burger with a side salad. (they didn't have meal salads at this one). So we both totally rocked the mccy d's experience. (around 600 calories each!)

Shopped around walmart a bit, I sort of taught hubby how to read nutrition labels (basically check calories and serving size). Then he tried to buy some snacks for the weekend at night after the bike ride. He would look at chips and then be horrified and put them down, then check out crackers or a party mix, same thing. Looked at twizzlers, horrified by the 3 strings are a serving but bought them anyway. It was funny. He was getting mad at me like I was saying no to him or something but I just kept saying "if you want it you can get it, but you should know what you're eating". Sort of hilarious.

So we get home and it's like 8:00. I immediately change and go for a run. only 22 minutes or so, with only about 3 fast intervals in it. It was pitched black and I just wasn't feeling the fast intervals much because then I'd have to slow down too much to recover, I kept a much steadier pace. I had my garmin so maybe I'll look at it later and analyze. Got home, sorted and started some laundry, and made up a triple batch of carrot bran muffins.

These muffins when I made them according to the recipe were 200 calories each, TONS of fibre. But I adjusted the recipe significantly. First I had an open can of maple syrup so I used that in place of brown sugar (not healthier I know, I just had to use it up!) I also used white splenda for 1 cup of the brown sugar (needs 3 cups for triple batch!). I also replaced some of the oil (needed 1.5 cups) with apple sauce, and just didn't add the full amount because of the maple syrup being liquid already. Oh, and I used whole wheat flour instead of white. So I'm not sure what these changes would have really done to the calories and I'm too lazy to put the whole recipe in again and recalculate. I made 24 normal sized muffins and then 48 mini muffins with raisins as well. They should be a really good shot of fibre each and keep you quite full, so anything less than 200 calories is fine by me.

So I whipped up the muffins, then changed the laundry, folded towels, got the dog stuff ready for the puppy sitter (my brother's stopping by tomorrow). Then it was bed time and I did a bunch of computer stuff to get ready, downloaded a whole bunch of songs for my mp3 player, downloaded my garmin and charged both of them up. I also downloaded the red carpet ready exercise videos because....

I got up early and did them this morning! I didn't have time to do any strength exercises last night with all that running around (still not packed!) but I got up at 6:30 and did about 1/2 hour of strength exercises. A bunch of squats, lunges, pushups and rows (circuit 3 times), and I only did the second circuit once because I was running out of time and had to shower and get ready for work. So that was a great example of using a Plan B when Plan A doesn't work, instead of doing nothing. I rock!!

tonight when I get home I have to pack my bag of clothes (shouldn't need much, just sporty clothes - hey question that might be TMI - I'm having my period right now, and about to bike for about 6 hours. I could go tampon so I look good in my yoga pants (still wear a thong) or I could wear a pad and maybe cushion my butt with it? Or would a pad not be helpful on a bike? I don't have fancy bike shorts with padding, thoughts?) So I have to pack, make something to eat (or else it's fast food again, luckily I've got cooked chicken breasts in the fridge. I'm thinking wraps), hubby has to put the gate up in the back or else just block it off with a piece of plywood or something so when my brother comes to play with Daisy they can just throw the ball around the backyard. PLUS since I feel bad about leaving Daisy locked in her dog run (a decent sized area, but she can't really run in it) from friday at 6:30 until sunday 4:00, with only like a 2 hour reprieve when my bro comes over, I was going to take her on a quick bike ride sprint and tire her out good. I have to do all that in about 1.5 hours.

Though I could leave work early today. At 3:00 the office is going lawn bowling. Yes we realize that's what old people do, and my office has nobody over 40 in it. But it stemmed from an intense bocce match and we can drink there and not be working. The plan is from 3 to 5 but if I can find a good opportunity to leave early (say anytime after 4) then I'll take it. There's a bbq afterward but I already opted out of that.

I did a quick little spreadsheet (such a nerd) looking at my loss history and where my goal is and the timeline for it. Basically to be at 130 by SILs wedding I have to lose 1.3 lbs a week. that's pretty intense, but possible. The only thing is, all my losses through the 130s have been more like 0.4/week. But lately things have been moving better so we'll see! It is only 6.6 more lbs!!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

super pro

I am being a super pro right now, resisting the donuts in the office. Not even tempted.

back on board

I just had lunch with my girl friends at a Mexican place (where I had a side salad with house avacado dressing - probably high fat, but healthy? - and half a chicken burrito with all kinds of bad things in it, but only half) including with one girl's 9 month old daughter. And she was a doll! She even spilled the remnants of my diet coke (so lots of ice and melted ice) on my lap and I wasn't annoyed! So now I'm back on board for this baby thing.

thursday

So after chinese yesterday I was too nervous (what with the sodium and more carbs than normal) to peak at the scale today. Basically all that tells me is that I didn't do well otherwise I wouldn't be nervous about it.

I only ordered the dinner for 3 and a large wonton soup, for my 2 little (but big) brothers and husband and I. So I didn't get a fortune cookie or an egg roll or any soup. Plus I didn't like deep fried shrimp. So I ate a big serving of veggies with chicken, 2 chicken balls and some chicken fried rice. Probably more rice than I should have had. I also wasn't expecting to eat chicken balls since I usually don't like them but these were nice chunks of chicken breast and not greasy. And a glass of milk and a banana. Not so good. Well good considering it was chinese food and could have been much worse, but not good for my perfect 6 weeks.

Also, because hubby asked me to run all these errands after work, I didn't have time to run or bike with the dog. So that's getting tacked on to today. That, some laundry, packing and a strength thing.

OH! speaking of. I signed up for Red Carpet Ready. (sorta) I got 2 weeks of free membership and can get all these downloads and exercises and routines and stuff. Then it's like $20 or so a month. But to be honest, I'm probably going to only do the free thing. I managed to download the program, a couple bonus workout videos and stuff so I think I'm out. She will keep updating it with new workouts and there's a great forum and stuff, but I think my blog is acting as my accountability. Anyway, I do feel sorta bad about doing that, but at the same time, she offered up the 2 weeks free, and said no hard feelings if it's not for you. So there ya go. Oh, it's a program that's actually really used by this chick for training hollywood celebrities, including Jennifer Garner. Basically going for the long, lean look instead of the muscular thing I have been doing. I just needed to change it up a bit because to make much more progress I'm sure my legs are going to get bigger than I'd like. And it's not one of those "really used by celebrities" things because she actually had Jennifer Garner come to her house for her grand opening live video chat.

Anyway, I'm basically going to be following that for a few weeks until the wedding. I do understand that most of it is going to be in the diet. She said 80%. And the way of eating in that thing isn't too far off of what I'm doing. Emphasis on protein and fibre. Starches in the form of fruits. this IS how I eat. As long as I keep my total portions and servings in a day are reasonable I think i'm doing ok.

The exercises max out at 10 lbs, but I think they will be tough for me, because there are a lot of new exercises for me. A lot of butt work and back work for posture. Plus it will be good because I don't have to drag out my heavy weights and I have 5 and 10 lbs dumbells.

The thing I don't much like is the cardio intervals. They seem way way watered down and easy. Like the max RPE is like 6 or 7. You never get to "hard". I think I will up that a bit. The other thing is it's a bit more time requirements than before. Weights should take 1 hour (not 30 minutes) and you're supposed to exercise 6 days a week. I'm not actually sure how close I'm gonna do it because next week is when my exercise classes start. Still not sure if I'm going to do both classes or not. I'll try the first ones and then decide.

Anyway, not much to say right now.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

staying on board

So I feel like I have been really rocking things for the past week or so. Even with my extra treat on the weekend, it was 1 piece of cake. That's all I've been off in ages!

And the scale has rewarded me. I stepped on before my shower today and saw 137.0 (I think, it was a quick peak). And this was AFTER I thought I over ate yesterday for supper!

I made chicken quesadillas. Thinking 1 for each of us, I put a tortilla, 1 chicken breast cut up, a reasonable serving of grated cheddar (which is far less than I traditionally put in, definately a good idea to cut a piece first and grate only that) then a crapload of salsa topped with a second tortilla. So the only thing that's a bit much would be 2 tortillas each. Cut these into 6 slices and voila - delicious and healthy! I served it with a veggie and dip tray I got for 50% off because the best before day is today (so as long as we ate it yesterday - all good!). I really hardly ate any veggies, which isn't so good. And I only had about 4 slices, and I thought I was going to explode! Which is funny because it looks like such little food. But sooo filling for some reason! Didn't even serve it with sour cream or anything. I also had a glass of milk. mmm.

So that all happened after I bought groceries. Very much sticking to way healthy things. I did buy some so so stuff, like canned fruit and applesauce and stuff. That's because I had run out of (ripe) fruit for lunches, that happens sometimes and I still need my fruits. (can't do anything about hard peaches but wait...).

So then I barely had time to cook supper, put groceries away, eat and then clean up (all done in 55 minutes!) and this insurance lady came over. I hate insurance. If you are a big pusher of insurance don't comment telling me I'm wrong or how important it is, you'll just piss me off. I feel like you should need most insurance (in Canada) because your emergency savings should cover most of this. I do have critical illness insurance, I'm torn over this one, I mean odds are that I will one day get cancer or some other critical illness right? And it is expensive treatment to maybe go to another city, take all that time off work etc etc. But odds are also good that I won't get it until I'm older, (I know you can get it early, but stats people.) So my $25 a month or whatever it is, COULD be put into that savings account and then I'd have that money if I ever need it down the road. Sort of my own insurance thing. But the problem is, with my hubby and his money habits, we just wouldn't put that $25 aside and not touch it. So we have insurance. And life insurance because we had to with our house. I definately wouldn't have had this otherwise until we have kids. (why would I want to be rich if hubby dies? would not make me feel better, just enough to cover funeral expenses and like a month off work, until we have kids that is).

Anyway, hubby also has an emergency surgery insurance or something. So if he has to be in the hospital from an accident and is totally disabled for 1 day, he gets $50. That doesn't cover his being off work for a day, it would basically cover parking at the hospital, gas for me to visit, and food for me I guess. But he also gets $50 a day that he's at home and can't work, which is a minimum of 10 days (they pay out) or else 3 x the number of days you were in the hospital. So again, it doesn't cover your wage from work, but the nice thing is, if you had to take 2 days off work, they'd still pay you for 10 days. So you can make money by having an accident.

We also bought him last night one that you don't have to be completely disabled for, just have to have stitches or broken bone or other small surgery things, and you get paid out $700. It was only $6 a month, and hubby needs stitches about every 2 years, so again, we'd make money. (if he didn't need it for 3 years, we'd be losing money, this way the cost is covered). He also doesn't need to miss work after. So what we should have done is cancelled his other policy and just had this one.

I also got another insurance. This is a sickness insurance. And it was only because of the possibility (looming threat? ;) ) of babies on the horizon. It pays out for pregnancy complications, like if you have to be in the hospital during your pregnancy (as SIL had to be), I think if you're off work like bed rest (aka not normal pregnancy) as well as if you have to have a c-section. It's the same thing, so much for a day in, and then so much for every day of recovery out. After she left, I told hubby that we'd probably only keep these insurances for a couple years, like once i'm done having babies, and if he ever takes a desk job or anything. I know it can happen, but it's not that likely that you have to be in the hospital because of a sickness (like bad pneumonia or something) that wouldn't be covered on the critical illness. Plus as I was saying, we're building our own emergency nest egg.

Ugh, I just hate insurance. And people who are all for insurance, reminds me of people who are all for unions. ;) not my kind of people...

ANYWAY, back on track...

Tonight is going to be a challenge. We're ordering chinese with my brothers (my friend owns the restaurant!). I'm just going to get the order for 3 instead of 4 since there's always soooo much food. Plus I'm going to stick to mostly the soup and veggies. Small portions of noodles and meat since it's all breaded and deep fried. Basically a taste. We'll have raw veggies to munch on also. It's not going to be too tough since I'm not a crazy chinese fan. I'll just keep my portions way down.

Then today or tomorrow I'm going out for lunch with the girls too. That's never too tough, I just have a salad with dressing on the side, maybe hold the cheese. They're my favorite things anyway. It's weird how tastes change. I can barely stand creamy pasta now.

So yesterday at 9:30 at night after insurancy chicky finally left I did an abbreviated strength routine. I'm only getting half marks for it. I did 2 instead of 3 sets, and it was an easy routine, much easier than I should have been doing. Just piled through it. But I did do it even though I wasn't going to. (I was waiting for hubby to finish what he was doing so we could have some baby talk - ha sounds funny. But he basically didn't finish so I went to bed).

This also means I didn't get any of the huge list of stuff done either. Tonight before bros come over (well first I have to do some running around in the city) I'm going to pick my tomatoes and peppers. Also try and squeeze in a quick run or bike with the dog. Poor thing has been cooped up for awhile (can't have run of the backyard right now because there's no gate, so just her dog run). That's probably it for tonight, maybe start some laundry. No wedding stuff this week basically. Tomorrow will be packing. PLUS I need to get a good strength routine in to make my goals this week!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Always have a plan

I just heard an interesting thing a trainer said (I'm listening to a Red Carpet Ready interview for the grand opening of the club, I got 2 weeks free! just google it, I'm too lazy to link).

She said, always have a plan. and always have a plan B.

Good idea, nice way to think of things. So plan to workout 4 times in the week. But things happen, instead of just beating yourself up about it if you don't, go to plan B, which was maybe take a walk at lunch time, or work out for an extra 15 minutes on the ones you do get. I like that way of thinking.

happy day and life changing discussions

So I had a nice day yesterday. Went to SILs for supper and then to a chipboard album (scrapbook) class with her. She made chicken nuggets (homemade), baby potatoes and cauliflower for supper. I ate less than I would have at home. But was still full. Then we had to race to class. I saw that she LOADED her plate. No problem, she's breastfeeding needs lots of food. It was pretty healthy stuff. But she especially loaded her potatoes, then loaded them with butter and sour cream. ALSO, the cauliflower she made a cheese sauce for. I grabbed mine before the sauce got mixed in so I just have a hint of cheese flavour (cheese whiz is definately not clean eating. It is a weird, man made, chemical product. I do love it on toast though...) Anyway, she also wonders why she's not losing any weight even though she's breast feeding. On top of that, she ate one of those little granola bars that LA weight loss pushes on you. If I was eating like that, I wouldn't be losing weight. Even though apparently she's on plan for her program, she maybe should figure out what works for her, not a generic program that says you can eat that much processed foods and starchy carbs and stuff. Just a thought.

I will admit that by the time I got home at 10:00 I was starting to get hungry. But I often feel a bit hungry when I go to bed, particularly if I stay up too long, then it's time for another meal (every 3 hours right?). I just went to bed instead. And woke up to a pleasant scale sneak peak.

The chipboard class unfortunately was a bit of a waste of money. Just a bit, because it was only $6, but you had to buy your own supplies. The class was nothing more than just covering it in patterned paper and then sanding and inking the edges, so it looked really nice and everything, but it's definately something I could have done at home on my own. They didn't teach anything. And sanding and glueing both sides of every letter in the word FAMILY takes quite a bit of time.

Anyway, tonight I was gonna go out with my girlfriends to a movie, but turns out our insurance people are coming over for the annual visit thing. Boo insurance salespeople! Seems like such a scam doesn't it? I wouldn't have any insurance except for the house but hubby is a big fan of insurance. I was always like "well if you die, why would I need to be rich? It won't make me feel better. If I never have to work again, I think I'd be more depressed and sad." It just seemed kinda weird, like when something horrible and sad happens, you win the lottery. I do understand it when you have kids, and to pay off your mortgage and stuff. But I still don't like it. I can't even keep track of all the different insurances we have now. (accident, critical illness, life, health and dental etc etc. and we live in Canada, free health care?)

But it's also good because I feel like I haven't been home in ages. I really want to clean my house, empty out the garden in case of frosts coming up. (plus then I can make salsa!) do some laundry. Get working on the veil and dress for the wedding. And workout. Very busy.

So the life changing discussions section of todays blog post has to do with babies. I finally heard from my pregnant best friend (who lives in Edmonton and I only see a couple times a year). She's nagging me to have a baby since we always said this fall and it pretty much is this fall. Plus hearing about pregnancy makes me want to. But then visiting kids and babies makes me not want to. I'm still at the stage where I want to be pregnant, but not have kids. ha! Like SIL last night, she left her baby with dad for our class. It was the first time she left her baby with him since she was born, 4.5 months ago! I can't imagine having something tied to me for 4.5 months with no breaks except when we're both sleeping! But hubby has assured me that he will give me weekly Me nights right from the beginning. phew!

But the other thing about having a baby is, I havent' figured any of it out! Like I don't know anything about mat leave, or if we can afford it, we don't have a nest egg saved up for this. Plus we'll have to buy all this furniture and diapers and stuff. Our basement isn't even started yet and I would love to still have a spare bedroom when we convert ours to the nursery, and probably a second bathroom. Not to mention maybe air conditioning, since if this is gonna be the timing, then I'll be nice and preggers in the heat of the summer. But if we do all that, then there goes the money for the baby! Of couse we'd have 9 months to get ready for it and save up and stuff. Still. I feel like instead of just having a baby when we feel like it, we should also get ready for it and plan for it, and we haven't done that part yet.

On top of that, here I am, 5 lbs away from goal. About to say bu-bye to that and have to start all over again after baby. I don't know if I'm really ok with that. It'll be like I dieted down to awesome for SILs wedding and that's it. Granted it should help me stay reasonable with baby and it's not like my eating and exercise will change that much at first (or at all, I'm a big fan of exercising while pregnant!). I dunno, I just like to make lists and plan for big things like this and have a countdown and get ready and I think I just need to do that here.

Sorry for the random thought blabbing there. I think I need to make a list at home with hubby and I'll feel better. Set out a plan to finish the basement, some timelines for saving money and stuff like that. I know I'll stay on the pill until at least SILs wedding, for the off chance it happens right away, I don't want to be all morning sick for the wedding. (plus that's only in 5 weeks! Much too soon to finish a countdown list and get stuff ready!)

Monday, September 8, 2008

chubby sewing

I don't suppose i've got any master seamstresses out there reading this huh? Grandmotherly ones who have no problem sharing all of their expertise and experience in the most patient manner? I will share with you my sewing dilema.

I think I mentioned how much I'm doing before SILs wedding. Making the slideshow, making the veil, losing 10 lbs and sewing the jr bridesmaid dress for my neice. Well things are falling in place for the slideshow, she finally told me the songs she wants. Finally got the fabric for the veil, and she's being very unfussy about that, saying I don't even have to finish the edges if it's too tough. she's hardly gonna wear it anyway I guess, letting me make it any length I want and any poofy-ness I want too. Bride's being a sweetheart.

But neice. Not that she's doing it on purpose. Sewing this dress for her is making me nervous. First of all, the pattern they gave me is a 2 layer dress, a liner and a dress sewn together, no big deal. But instead of the liner never being seen, they want the liner to be the dress, and an overlayer of a sheer fabric. Ok. looks good I bet, but this sheer stuff is going to be a bitch to sew! oh well, mom told me to put tissue paper with it and sew through the paper as well. try that out. I'll have to clean up my seams since it's see through but not terrible. But the pattern itself was found at MILs house. It says easy, it looks decent, fine. However after we bought all the fabric did we realize that the pattern had been cut to a size 8, niece is a size 12. Eek. So what I did, and I'm hoping it works, is just cut all the pieces about 2 inches outside of the pattern. I should be able to play with my seam allowance and make it work. I HOPE!

The other big problem is this size 12 thing. She's a size 12 in the chest and in the hips, her height is like a size 8 but I can hem it shorter. Her belly is off my chart. It's supposed to be like 22 or 24" or something, it's 29. She's gonna look like crap in this! (oh yeah, she's 8 years old, sorta sad). Anyway, the dress has an empire waist so I'm hoping it fits where I sew the top into the skirt, and then I'll just cut the skirt a lot fuller than the pattern calls for. Unless anybody out there had any better options for me? I cut my fabric (but remember I have huge seam allowances to play with) and was going to start sewing this week. I still have enough fabric that I could either recut all the top parts (sleeves, front side, back etc) OR the skirt, so hopefully at least one of these works. It won't totally be my fault if it looks like crap, because she's the freaking shape of a balloon, but I don't want to make it worse. (If I'm being a bit harsh, it's because she drove me absolutely bonkers this weekend, kid is sooo annoying!)

Her mom is the one doing LA weight loss and has lost 20 some lbs and only has 7 more to go to goal (her goal is 120, so yeah, she's 10 lbs lighter than me right now, and yeah, that stings a little, but she's only 5'0). We're currently about the same size since she's borrowing my dress and it fits.

Anyway, SIL is eating healthy-ish and doing all this weight loss. But not sharing any of the info or behaviours with her daughter. Almost doing the opposite. I'm sorry but if you're under 12 and overweight, it's not your fault, it's your parent's. SIL was eating some 100 calorie pack of pringles sticks (like I said, sorta healthy) and niece took some, SIL said "Cali, those are my special snacks because they're low fat. They're not for you." And while I definately understand that attitude (just try and eat my cherries!) it's not helping. Cali wants to lose weight, she said so when I measured her for the dress, saying by the wedding her belly would be smaller. But she has no idea what to do to make it so. She just doesn't stop eating at meals, her little brother is still in the age where you want him to eat some more of his plate before he can go play again, so she's sort of like "see, I ate all my food, I'm a good girl". But she doesn't understand that she should eat veggies and fruit, not more bread sticks and potatoes, fully loaded of course. She asks if she can have some cake and her mom says sure. I'm not saying deprive her, kids should eat cake. But she doesn't even know why she's fat, she just thinks that wanting it bad enough might make her skinnier. Frustrating. It's a hard line because you don't want to set her up for eating disorders either.

She had already eaten lunch before coming over to grandma's (where we were) and we were just eating (tomato soup and tuna melts, I had a plain tuna sandwich thank you very much, hold the cheese). So Cali had JUST finished eating, comes over sees us and asks for a bowl of soup, nobody says no. Then she loaded 3 handfuls of crackers into it and would have done more but grandma said something. I want to say something but it's not my place, plus it would embarrass her with everybody around.

SIL (not her mom) and I were talking about it on saturday and how her mom just doesn't share her info or even help. She bakes like crazy, she took half of my leftover chocolate zuccinni cake (she's allergic to chocolate so it's just for the kids) and lets the kids have chips every night and treats and fun times are food. but again, it's so easy to be a parent to other people's kids and see how they're screwing up. But of course, it's something I get to say "when I have kids, we're gonna do it right and there's no way that's happening" and blah blah blah. But seriously right? I think next time it's just Cali and I I will say something and help her out a bit. Like I don't even think she knows that chips and cake makes her fat!

Monday monday

Welcome to monday everyone! How was your weekend? Mine was good. (hi how are you? I am fine.) I feel a bit jipped that it's over already. I spent 0 time at home, and 0 time with hubby. oh well.

Went home friday night. didn't do anything then. got a ride with SIL and SIL and baby. Saturday morning, I got up early to go for a run, but it was really rainy and wet out, plus without a dog I just felt too strange to run. So I sat with SIL while she nursed baby and then just gossipped with her for like 2 hours. Almost noon now so I finally got off my butt and just did some squats and lunges and pushups and t-planks and crunches. I was feeling the burn and getting a bit sweaty. It was odd working out like that while everyone else was just hanging out watching me. But I did it anyway. go me! Then it was getting the church basement decorated for the shower, then some lounging and tv, then supper and then shower time! I looked smoking hot, but nobody has pictures because I was the official photographer. I wore a black skirt, and that black ballerina t-shirt with the giant key hole back. And red high heels and a long gold necklace. Even my hair cooperated. I looked good. Anyway, it was sort of awkward at the shower for me. Since I'm not in the wedding party I didn't get to sit at the head table. And since I wasn't from town I didn't know anybody well enough to just go join them. But I knew everyone enough that they'd talk to me and it would look weird if I sat by myself. But that's what I did anyway. A friend of MILs sat with me (but she was super annoying). I didn't really play games or whatever since I sort of helped them plan them and buy the prizes and stuff. I was just sort of at a weird in between thing. Like I helped decorate and partially plan the shower, but then I had to just participate like some random person who didn't know anything about it. So I busied myself with official photographer business like taking 150 pictures in about 1 hour.

As for the goal of having 1 "cheat" at the shower, I failed, I had 2. I had 1 piece of rhubarb cake which was super good. The rest of it was fruit and veggies. Tried 1 bit of a bacon dip, no spinach dip or crackers or anything. But when we got back to the house for the after party, I had a piece of coconut cake. and it wasn't that good so it wasn't worth it. I did go nuts on the fruit again. I didn't even have a piece of my chocolate zuccini cake saturday at lunch when MIL and SIL tried a piece (for lunch dessert). I didn't even have a piece at all! I left all the leftovers with various family and brought back a clean dish. I sorta feel like I missed out on my cake, like I did all the work of making it, and it's got veggies in it. But no, I can eat cake at the wedding in 5 weeks! Until then, I'm being good!

SILs forced me to have a drink with them, so I had a cherry whiskey and diet coke. Then kept refilling with just coke. I also had a couple jello shooters when forced to. I think I've come to that as my plan. Instead of being a strict nondrinker like I have been, making it awkward and uncomfortable to explain to people and then people assuming I'm pregnant, I'm just going to have 1 drink when "forced". That is, when no thanks 3 times doesn't work. I was still dead sober, but things didn't get awkward for anybody. Plus it helped that I could tell SILs that it was because I didn't want the calories, since they get the losing weight for the wedding thing.

Sunday was a late start, then we went to visit hubby's grandma and grandpa in the home. They're real sweet. And sad. Grandma's health has improved and her attitude and everything since moving out there, but Grandpa's has declined (they moved out there because grandma couldn't take care of the house etc any more, grandpa was still fine, now it's opposite). Very sad. Hubby was really close to his grandpa, visiting him once a week to play pool and visit. He's like 96 or something. And for that he's still doing great, he still plays pool and physically he's awesome, but his mind is starting to go, forgetting things and losing things. It's sad because he knows it too and it upsets him. He knocks his head and says it's hollow or that there's something wrong with his computer. Plus when you hug him goodbye, he grabs your hand and doesn't let you go and starts talking and asking questions and saying how lonely he gets when people only visit once in awhile. It's out of our way by a good hour (making it a 3 hour trip home) but I think we're going to visit more often. And I think we might push this baby thing a bit sooner maybe, it would be great to get one of those 4 generations pictures.

Anyway, didn't make it home until 7, brought a sub home for supper. Then didn't do much once I got there. Hubby was grumpy and busy so I said hi and then he ignored me for 3 hours until I went to bed. frustrating. Especially because I was seeing everybody else's husbands who you would never notice were softies doing just subtle things while still being the tough cool guy (put his arm around his wife while talking to the other guys and she talked to the girls, and then rubbed her shoulder with his thumb, Hubby has NEVER done that). I'm not upset, but it just would be nice sometimes if he did things like that for me.

I weighed this morning and it was exactly the same as friday. So that's great after a weekend, especially considering I had a crapload of peanut butter last night (2 bananas full and then just a knife full.) And considering I had weekend bathroom syndrome (anybody else suffer from this and know what I'm talking about? Not getting enough water and fibre on the weekends, combined with not your home toilet? mm-hmm) AND considering it's just before TOM. I'd say that's pretty darned good.

So as it's monday I need to do my weekly goal thing. Since I didn't do 100% on my last weeks goals, I'm not going to get my reward. It was a scrapbook treat. Which is ok. I'm going to a scrapbook class tonight in a store so I'd love to buy some chipboard thing or something, but it's fine, I had 2 treats instead of one. If I do all my goals this week I get to buy a new fall coat next monday (which I sort of could use but not NEED). What are those goals?

1. Do proper strength workouts twice. Not just doing what I feel like, but following a plan.
2. I have the MS bike tour this weekend (click if you want to pledge!) So I'll be getting a good 66 km bike ride for a workout. No problems there. but the lunch and supper and snacks are provided. So my goal for that will be to continue normal eating through it. Just because they offer a granola bar every hour doesn't mean I have to eat one. 2 granola bars all day, hopefully they have fruit at these stops too. Definately bringing some of my own snacks. This also includes meals, I don't remember what they're serving, but I'll watch my portions. My cheat will be a dessert on saturday or a cookie. I've been craving cookies. No chips or anything while we're camping either.
3. To and from bike tour will be eating out. I'll stick to salads and subs. No fries. No fast food cookies.

I think that should do 'er. I'll still try and get my 4 workouts this week, definately getting one in on the weekend! And of course I'll still be eating my protein and snacks and limiting sugar and carbs. Lunches have been so great lately, between homemade hamburger soup and spinach salads with tuna or hard boiled egg I've been perfect. Hopefully this week will give me a nice loss!

I went dress shopping friday for a dress for SILs wedding next month. I tried on some of those Le Chateau dresses, sort of 40's vampy cocktail dresses. LOVE THEM! I am in between sizes though (they're only small medium and large, not numbers). The medium is too big in the hips but fits good in the chest. Can't do up the small across my back but fits alright in the bottom. Contemplating getting some kind of corsetty spanx or something to help define my waist in them. Since they're soo that style ya know? We'll see what diet and exercise can do for another 3 weeks and then go serious shopping.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Um seriously

I have nothing to do at work, (well things I could work on but we don't know if the project has been approved so it could all be scrapped later and we don't get paid for it, but then again if I'm doing nothing we're not paid for that either...) and the bosses are all gone. Even my coworkers are gone. There are 2 secretaries and the lab guy here. I'm the only engineer. If somebody calls wanting to speak with an engineer, they'd have to pass it to me. ridiculous.

So I think for about an hour and a half or so, maybe I'll half assed work on this unapproved project (bosses aren't even here to ask if I should go ahead with this or not!) and then get out of here.

Walmart was enjoyable. bought some black sport socks. Never had them before. I basically only wear sport socks now because I wear through others so fast. Which is funny because for years and years I was known for my ridiculous socks. Even before that was cool I was wearing crazy colored socks and striped ones and everything. I've still got some of my best socks, these wicked witch of the west thigh highs (for cold days people!), green ones with silver dollar signs all over them, skull and crossbone socks, about 15 different Christmas pairs, a couple halloween, my Saskatchewan Roughrider socks, my Saskatchewan Wildlife Association socks, name and origin of name socks with the name Henry on them (present from my brother who totally gets me). But what do I wear? Only my Champion, Starter, New Balance, other Champion and a couple other brands of sport socks. But what i've found is these don't look soo good when you're not wearing sneakers. I've got these sporty shoes that basically are sporty ballet flats with a velcro band, and they look goofy with white sport socks, hence my black ones. They're only select padded or something so they still look like "trouser socks" from the top, but the heel and toe are padded up on the bottom. clever.

Plus for $3 I bought these gold sandals that are actually pretty nice, incase the red shoes don't go with what I end up wearing, it'll match my gold necklace.

I also bought the Clean Eating cookbook for family and children or something like that. It was only $15, plus I returned a sweater that looked like crap for $15 so there ya go. Flipping through it it seemed pretty good, nice "normal" food recipes, plus a huge section at the front, I'm assuming going through the clean eating philosophy. Except the one blurb I caught threw me off a little bit "the importance of going poo". Well it is important I guess!

When I ditch this popsicle stand I'll go to the mall, exchange that shirt. Look around for a non black, non poofy/flare skirt. I like the tweed ones but haven't found a decent lengthed one for cheap (I'm so short in the legs that knee length ones, hit midcalf on me. Not a flattering look). But only if it's really cheap. Might try on some fancy shmancy dresses if I'm feeling thin. Just to get an idea. If there's tons and tons of time I might go home for an hour and help hubby with the sod. Not so much that I want to help him since he'll have lots of help, but I guess my control freak wants me to have a say in how it's done. What if they do it wrong? Oh I've got problems. I also don't want to wait all weekend to see it done finally!

Ok well I better get working on my 1 hour of work (see how that reduced already?)