I am not trying

WI day, up 2 lbs! Ew! I was sort of really annoyed by that at first. I didn't do horrible this week, I worked out a fair bit. Then I started justifying it. I did eat a rather large supper yesterday, still in my system, plus that super hard workout probably packed on some muscle, plus water retention. And just when I thought I'd take some time and blog, staring at the title blank I realized, I'm really not trying. I'm wishing. I'm hoping that if I'm good about half the time, and want it bad enough, then I'll lose weight and get back to where I was and even to goal. But I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way.

Yesterday for example, felt like a pretty good day. Cereal and a banana for breakfast, veggies and hummus, salad, soup, yogurts, oranges, etc during the day. All good. I stopped to grab a few more groceries I needed for recipes I wanted to make and since it was getting late I also grabbed a frozen pizza for supper. I found a "healthy" option with whole wheat crust, chicken and tomato toppings. I added some pinapple I had in the fridge. A serving for 250 calories was 1/4, I thought, good, I can have a whole half a pizza (3 pieces) and still be good for a supper. So 500 calories. Then I have a glass of milk, then a vitamuffin because I also found those in the grocery store and I didn't think we could get them in Canada. (ps - way disappointed). Then a banana. Then a sugar free pudding cup I also bought that I didn't know were available (dulce de luche, only ok). So that's about 800+ calories now. THEN I decide I'm a bit munchy so I eat a crap load of jujubes. Probably at least another 200 calories worth. GROSS! 1000 calories (at least) just at supper! NOT a good day.

Also, my working out hasn't been as good as I think it is. I'm working out 2 maybe 3 days a week. That's not really good. That's bare minimum. What happened to hitting the gym? There was a time when I worked out every day and it felt weird if I didn't. I like working out! Granted I don't run anymore because even when it's a nice day, by the time I get home it's cold and dark and windy. So that's gonna be out. But I still have my weights and at least until Christmas I've got a gym membership. So what the hell? I'm certainly not that busy.

New game plan - 4 workouts/week. I've got my 2 classes, so then that's just say 1 at home and 1 at the gym per week. Ideally it would be 2 at the gym AND 1 at home. Another new game plan - plan my suppers. More salads. Either as a side or the main event. They satisfy my time requirements (I feel like I have to eat for a certain amount of time, even if I'm full, it just doesn't feel done if it's too quick). But when I plan a meal, main dish, side, salad or whatever, then fill my plate up with everythign all at once, I rarely go back for seconds, I'm much more satisfied. Plus I eat healthier foods. I do love toast, but a plate full of carrots, then leftover soup, then 3 pieces of toast, then 10 dinosaurs, then a banana with peanut butter, then a pudding cup is not a good supper. I've definately done that.

So hopefully this weekend I can plan out some meals for the week and do the prep. Let's think slow cooker so I still manage to go to the gym.

Anyway, hopefully I can get over this thing that's making me not try. I like trying, I feel good when I try. I'm just being lazy right now.

Getting back to other small things. I found Vitamuffins in Safeway! (I never shop at Safeway, it's the most expensive grocery store, that and Co-op.) They were regular $7.50 or so for 4 muffins! GROSS! But 2 flavours were on sale for less than half price (I think they're old or something) So I bought a box of blueberry bran and multiberry bran or something. Had one last night. Only ok. Definately had the "health food" flavour. (aka hubby would hate them). I was also disappointed because I thought there was something about them that was really incredible. First for the cost, second for how much they're talked about online. But really, homemade muffins could have about 100 calories each (depending on recipe), they're super easy to make, can have all natural ingredients if you want. I just didn't see what the big deal was. It is nice to have them individually wrapped so you can just grab one from the freezer to throw in your lunch. But that's not worth $1 a muffin.

Other things, going out for lunch today with my sister. I don't really remember any healthy options at this place. So try and stick to something small. No fries for sure. Maybe a big salad. We'll see.

Hubby's been gone hunting for 2 nights now. Funny how things aren't really any different. I think by Sunday I'll have noticed, but that was sort of my point in our last fight. I don't ever see him anyway when he is home. Our morning schedules don't collide so the only thing that's really different is that the front door is still locked when I leave. I'm still making supper by myself (for myself, he only eats with me about 3 or 4 nights a week), I guess the couch is open for me to lay on all the time, he sometimes takes that over. But then sometimes he's not home at all so absolutely nothing is different. I think I'll have to mention this to him when he gets home.

Anyway, busy getting ready for the weekend. And thank goodness for blogs. I found a recipe I made last year that I couldn't find ANYWHERE! It's for chocolate peanut butter truffles. I posted the recipe on my blog last Christmas! yay! (SO easy, 8 chocolate squares melted, 1/2 cup peanut butter, cool to room temperature, add in 1 tub of thawed coolwhip, cool for 1 hour [min]. Roll into balls, or try a melon baller, roll in icing sugar or sprinkles or whatever you want. They might get mushy but just refridgerate again. tada!) So I mixed them up, didn't roll them yet. Made half with no peanut butter because people have allergies (while that would suck a lot for them, I can't help being annoyed at them for it anyway). Also found my recipe for Spanakopita. (feta spinach triangles). downloaded some Christmas music and decorated my house! (well only half done). My list of things to do still:

Burn the cd with the time theme appropriate christmas music (It's 1930's? 40's? murder mystery).
Roll truffles
Make Spanakopita
Make spinach (or other) dip
Finish decorating (aka find outdoor Christmas lights, maybe hubby knows?)
Clean house <- big one!


That's all before my party Saturday night. Then on sunday I plan on:
doing Christmas cards (I've got lots of homemade ones left from last year so just writing in them and sending)
putting plastic on windows (to keep heat in ya know?)
scrapbooking - maybe some kind of Christmas present thing?

I also have to figure out all the stuff I'm buying for people for Christmas, so if you don't mind I thought I'd do it here. Feel free to skip, you don't know these people!

(Mom and) Dad - make golf ball game (we've already bought supplies, just need to cut and make etc, even thought it's homemade, still works out to $50!)
Mom - food processor - It's on her list, and it does sort of go over my budget, but I feel bad since I broke her last one.

Sister - picked her name, $50 limit - tree necklace online ($25?) potluck bowl? ($15), wine charms and socks etc (small stuff)($10)

Littlest brother - SO HARD. No idea. (what does a 20 year old guy want that's cheap, we're talking $10 here.) He did say clothing on his list so maybe some kind of t-shirt or something.

Little brother - I was going to get him a photo album/scrapbook and offer services to help him organize his pictures from his last trip (10 countries in Europe over 3 months).

BIL-to-be - Anything Rider's. Was thinking of making him a Rider's ornament.

BIL (other side, picked his name $50) - again no idea. Maybe just crap out and get him a gift certificate somewhere. But I wonder if I could maybe find something cool online... (oh yeah, this is the creepy one who grabs my butt and says inappropriate things that are all just joking around and I should get over...)

MIL B-day - just pay SIL for part of whatever she bought, some big thing

MIL and FIL - asked for money to go towards their new tv unit. Isn't that the weirdest thing ever? They wanted to ask for a tv unit, but wanted to pick it out themselves. Isn't that something you just buy as 50 year old adults? Don't even get me started...

Niece #1 - I'm thinking Hanna Montana something. She's 9, that's age appropriate right? I can't remember anything about being 9. Plus this kid is so spoiled she's already got every single toy kind of thing that exists.

Niece #2 - she's a baby. I bought her a cute nightlight thing for her room and i'm thinking an outfit? Obviously she doesn't care, but her mom will care very much I'm sure.

Nephew - Hubby's God-son. Basically he can take care of it since he always wants to get him something ridiculous anyway. (this kid is even more spoiled than neice #1, he's been getting adult things like paintball guns and brand name clothing for years, he's 6.)

Hubby - we're not really getting each other presents. (so I thought). We're getting the $500 satellite dish thing. I thought that was it. But I guess hubby already bought me something else because he thinks we can use the basement money (aka money we've taken out against our mortgage) to buy fun things like this (and a big entertainment center when the basement finally gets done...). So I guess if I see something that's fairly awesome that he needs to have he can get it. But otherwise I'm sticking to nothing. that was our deal.

Hubby's b-day (jan 4) - again. nothing. He wanted to buy a new something tool (when he already had one) so used his money but went over, so he asked if I could just pay for half of his tool as his birthday present so he doesn't have to pay back our savings. How lame is he? (I guess he gets it from his parents right?). I also do throw a big party for his birthday all the time, cooking like crazy and cleaning and hosting like awesome. (it's our annual sledding party where we take crazy carpets etc to the little kid sledding hill in the middle of the night and go bananas, so fun).

Again, I feel like I should get him some sort of awesome suprise, but only if I see something that's perfect. I'm thinking there's a knife he's wanted for over a year that I might get him (he collects pocket knives and fancy sword things etc). But again, I gotta look online, there are treasures to be found on ebay.

Ok so that brings my total to about $350, plus $100 for the two people hubby picked, so $450 on Christmas presents before spending anything on each other. And we don't even have kids. Holy crap it is expensive huh? (there's my treadmill huh?) and I'd say we're fairly cheap on all these gifts.

Oh well, I'll see what the budget says...

How I don't understand the market today

I know this post might anger some of my American friends, or even other people affected by today's economy and job market and stuff. But holy crap people.

Every week I get about 2 or 3 emails or phone calls from headhunting companies looking for me - by NAME - to work for some other company. It's funny though because a lot of them aren't really applicable to me (I don't have 7 years experience and am not a senior engineer etc). But some really do just want me. I've always turned them down instantly, to me it's like telemarketers. But this last girl that just called for some reason got my mind whirrling. Maybe I should just hear what they've got to say? See what kind of offer they've got. I know I'm currently being under paid for the market I'm in (only in Saskatchewan folks. Seriously, if you're looking for a hot ecomony, even fast food drive through positions are paying $15/hour, maybe more, AND we're one of the most affordable places to live. enough advertising?) I know that come Christmas and performance reviews the company is going to go retroactive with raises for the full year (hmm, that's gonna be a nice fat cheque won't it? Treadmill? nah) But still, I don't know if it's really going to be up there. I think maybe after Christmas, if I'm still lower than market average I'll answer one of these emails...

I'm in a really nice profession that every 2 years does a salary survey and sorts it by all sorts of things, industry worked in, position wrt management etc, year graduated university, advanced degrees etc. So you can basically find yourself on that list and see what the average and upper and lower ranges etc. Well I'm in a strange place a bit because I'm between Bachelor and Master degree, plus I'm only an Engineer-in-training (yes we have to call ourselves that for 4 years until we're designated Professional engineers) whereas most people who graduated in 2004 have several years experience and I don't etc. Anyway, I'm guessing that if I want to be paid AVERAGE for where I am, I'm getting shorted about $5-8K a year. If I get that paid back for the last year in one big chunk that would be sweet. But I hope they don't count that as my Christmas bonus, it should be on top of. anyway, whatever.

But I do make plenty of money, so I'm not sure if that would really swing me to work at a different job. I am pretty comfortable here, the hours are good, I basically know what I'm doing now. Getting more responsibilities and challenges constantly right now. I dunno. More money would be nice too, be more comfortable, do things sooner than we were going to otherwise. But at the same time, it would be gone instantly right? You know how you never see the money, it just goes into more things and then you're at the same place.

Anyway, I like money talk and stuff like that so I'm sorry if I bored you with it.

contemplating buying a treadmill...

I get various e-flyers all the time. Usually I disregard them, unless something amazing catches my eye. And I guess to get Christmas ideas. Well today I clicked through the Canadian Tire one and it set my heart a flutter. They're selling a treadmill (that got all good reviews from customers) for $1000 off, so it's only $499. This Saturday only, in store only. Limited stock, no rainchecks. (open at 7 am).

Grr! I really want a treadmill! But we have no place to put it and I didn't save up $500 yet. We'll do pros and cons.

Pros -
I want one
It's a really good sale for a really good treadmill
I wouldn't have to join a gym and pay for that after christmas (probably same price for a year right)
Hubby and I would both use it.
I would definately use it while watching tv
I have many excuses to deserve it - finally defending, we're getting a dish that hubby wants for $500, we're not doing real Christmas presents


Cons -
It's $500, on top of the $500 we're spending for hubby's dish (we're on bunny ears currently, but they're bu-bye in feb right?)
We didn't save up $500 for this (we have savings but it wasn't earmarked treadmill money)
I didn't save up my personal money for this (I get $400 a month that I usually blow on clothes, magazines, make-up, eating out, who knows what)
We have no where to put it (at least until the basement's done, which won't be until a year from now)
Hubby wouldn't want it, he's got a gym at work
Impulse buy
I still might want a gym membership...
I might end up neglecting Daisy's walks


So I think it's a no. Too bad. But the only reason I would get it is because of the ridiculous sale. But from checking the web, it seems that it's not the first time it's been on sale for this. So if we keep watching, maybe it'll happen again when we're ready for it.

However, if anybody is ready for a treadmill, I suggest you go to Canadian Tire this saturday at 7:00 am and buy the Horizon ct5.0.

the one where I got a massage

Yep so I hit up the old massage therapist last night. I'm not really sure what a regular trip to get a massage is like. I've only ever gone to spas for spa massages. So it wasn't very deep muscle or anything. She worked out a few knots but I don't think I had that many really. It was nice. I did have sore legs from my workout right, and I told her about that but she didn't really seem to fix them at all, just did a light massage on them, almost avoiding the sore parts. Whatever. It was a nice massage. I might book another one towards the end of December, just cause they're free with my work coverage. I was also thinking of booking in some physical therapy for my jaw and maybe my posture. I get $300 a calendar year in that also and it's the end of November already.

And guess what else happened? My stinking defense finally got scheduled! About TIME! It's unfortunately scheduled on the only day when I had something else to do, Dec 18 when our work is having a Professional Development Day. As in, a day full of meetings about work projects and proceedures and then one from the boss about employee bonuses and changes to overtime and stuff. I'll still be able to attend the morning. I am way nervous now about my defense. I haven't done any of the work in it since 2006 and I sure would do some things different now, hard to defend that. But I'm hoping the committee feels guilty for keeping my thesis for so long. They should have had it just for 3 to 6 weeks, not 4 months. They cost me $600 in tuition maintenance fees. Plus, having never been to a defense, I don't know what to expect, what kind of questions they're going to ask, what kind of prep I should do. I already know one of my supervisors wasn't happy with a lot of it. (the main supervisor was happy so hopefully he wins).

Hubby and I had another bit of a fight last night. Not even sure what about. I explained how I feel bad when he will take time and make plans with any number of his friends, but when it comes to spending time with me it's work. Plus he never makes dates with me to go for a drink or go eat, but does it with his buddies all the time. He said it's not his fault alone, and it's not like he's going out with the same guy every time. It's one buddy one week, a different one later etc. And he and I don't have anything to talk about as our interests aren't the same, we don't even care about each other's work (to be fair, we don't really understand it either). I don't know exactly what got worked out, but I feel better now. I think he's agree to try and make dates with me, work me into the rotation or something. And I won't complain that we never talk unless I've got a topic for conversation.

Anyway, resulted in me not having a very good sleep. And then I was slightly late for work this morning. No big deal, I just though the big boss from Calgary was here today but I guess not. Lunch is absolutely crazy though because of this. I've got a naked salad (aka no protein on it), but I've got leftover steak kabobs, plus a hard boiled egg. Then I've got 2 oranges, 4 yogurts (little 30 calories each ones), 2 cheese strings, a granola bar, a trail mix pack, a 100 calorie chocolate chip/cereal pack. Plus I brought my cereal and milk separate and ate them here (as I didn't have time at home). My bag was overflowing! We'll see how much I eat. I don't know what it was but the scale was up 1.4 lbs this morning! I think maybe my sore muscles aren't helping. I also had a late supper (but just soup, salad and 1 kabob (80 calories)). Confusing. I'm looking forward to hubby being gone (leaving this afternoon until Sunday) because I'm going to cook and eat all the things he doesn't like - hello couscous, curried chickpeas and edamame!

Tonight I've got kickboxing, hoping my legs hold out for a good workout. Then they can be sore again. I've also got a twinge of sciatica hitting my back/legs. Ouch. Hope it goes away with good posture today.

Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness (is that right?)

That's right. I worked out to pain last night. I literally hurt typing. It's so fricken awesome.

Had weight class yesterday. It's been cancelled for the past 2 weeks (thank goodness I didn't pay for this one, shh...). But the instructor has been teaching more classes in other gyms and stuff so she wasn't out of shape for it. We were, well I was. The squats KILLED me. And we do them first. We had no breaks for a full track (3-4 minutes). I had to go weightless (I hate that) but I was still definately working. I almost couldn't get up! My legs were jello after. Then a couple tracks later we were doing deadlifts and that doesn't even really work your quads, but mine were burning and shaking the whole time. Really cool. Then when I got home, I went to change laundry and almost fell down the stairs to the basement (would have been NOT cool). But I did feel really funny walking. Sort of like Bambi on ice, no control.

So that explains why my legs are sore, but my freaking forearms? We did bicept curls with our hands facing down not up, good for the forearms.

And yay for having a massage today huh?

My eats weren't the hottest yesterday. Not bad but too much food. I didn't plan anything for supper so I made tomato soup and had peanut butter toast with it. So not bad, but didn't feel done so I munched on dinosours afterwards. Probably only 7 or so, but they left me feeling way full and tummy stretched (yay! Let's go put on my spandex workout clothes now!).

I did forget to mention yesterday that my monday weight was exactly the same as my friday weight. So even with eating some cookies and throwing the party and snacking on a couple chips I didn't gain. So as long as I can get back on the good eating train I should be set for a nice loss this week!

hmm, what else? I'm wearing my new size 6 pants today and they fit great. That's fun. Hubby and I went to bed at the same time, and Daisy decided to sleep with us too. I was reading and the two of them fell asleep, Daisy wedged between us with her head on hubby's chest. It was adorable. Until I tried to pull the blankets up and had to move my 40 lb dog first. She is such a bed hog. I really shouldn't be letting her sleep with us. But she's so cute.

So I had a weekend

So yep, the weekend was there. It was SO productive it's sort of silly. My accomplishments:
friday - well sort of nothing. I guess that's not so great. I don't really remember what I did actually.

saturday - trip in to the city to buy vacuum accessories ($60 worth of bags and filters and a hard floor attachment etc) and dog food. Also a bit of groceries and stuff for a party. I was home by 11:00. Love that. Then cleaned the house top to bottom including dusting everything, cleaning the cupboard under the bathroom sink, scrubbing bathroom, kitchen and living room, made appetizers (crab dip and jalepeno roll-ups), did laundry, more general house cleaning. Worked out, with my heavy weights! (as in 50 lbs on the barbell, nothing ridiculous, but not light!) Had friends over for supper, after supper another friend came over and the boys went to hockey and we played with all the puppies! They brought their 8 week old and 12 week old puppies to play with Daisy. She looked like a giant compared to them, but she's going to be about half the size when they're full grown (one was a golden lab, the other a boxer). Played with them for hours and hours, then after hockey the whole team came over (hence appetizers and party stuff). Played hostess for a few hours then crashed at 2:00. - Oh, I should also mention that I trained the 12 week old a new trick and got the 8 week old out of it's shell and made it start playing. Plus cleaned up 2 accidents. I rock at puppies.

Sunday - more cleaning from the party including vacuuming UNDER THE COUCHES and shampooing the entire carpet (2 hour process at least). Then I converted ALL of our home movies to DVD while I was baking 28 dozen Christmas cookies! Last night I finally chilled out and watched the Colbert Christmas special and went to bed early. (only to be woken up when hubby got home from poker).

Speaking of hubby, last night we also had a talk. We haven't been clicking lately. We haven't been fighting, but there's sort of a thing between us. He felt like I didn't like him, and I felt like he didn't care about me. I was very frustrated because everytime he's home, he's sleeping. (he naps almost every day from 7 until 9 or so). And then I go to bed at 10:00 so there's not much interaction time. Plus he's got hockey 1 night, I've got exercise class 2 nights, weekends he often has poker or hockey or something and I have shopping and girl's things. I was frustrated because whenever I try and bring up that I want to spend time together he explains that he's really busy with stuff like hockey (to be fair he's had a crazy couple weeks with 3 or 4 games a week, all at 10:30 or later) and finishing the basement. I do understand that. But he actually hasn't been working on the basement, he was helping a friend finish his basement, plus insulating the garage and getting ready for his hunting trip this week. All this other stuff, that really isn't supposed to be on the radar, the basement is. I'd be ok with him blowing me off to finish the basement, but blowing me off to nap? Not so cool. So we hashed it out and he's agree to try going to bed at the same time as me and not have a nap. (he'd nap 3 hours, then stay up until 1:00 and of course be tired the next day so he'd need to nap again). I think that consecutive sleep is what really counts so you can get a deep enough sleep (and not on the couch with the tv on). I told him it would probalby help with having more energy, feeling better, not being so tired on the weekends, he might lose some more weight (he's been good with his eating and exercise, but sort of stalled weight wise), PLUS we'd get the chance to just chat while we're getting ready for bed. A definate connect every day, even if it's just while brushing our teeth. I'm happy. I think he will be too.

Oh, and the millions of cookies I made? Well this coming weekend I'm hosting a Christmas baking exchange for 10 of us girls. So I had to make 1 dozen for each of them, but because I made whipped short bread with my cookie press, 1 dozen is nothing, so I made 2 dozen for each person (I still feel like I cheaped out, they're just butter and sugar, no cream cheese, no icing, no tart shells or anything hard). Plus I made Christmas trees which are hubby's favorite (his mom's recipe, just brown sugar rolled cookies that she always cuts into Christmas tree shape so they call them Christmas trees) so he can take half of those hunting this week. I think I'm also going to make popcorn balls or carmel and pink popcorn still, then after the exchange I'll be done baking! yay!

Because I'm hosting, it's going to be as close to a Christmas party as i'm having. So I'm going to make a couple treats that won't be in everyone's package so they don't get sick of it all (popcorn and Christmas trees at least, maybe Frogs from the great recipe Carolyn gave me last year. And yeah, welcome back Carolyn!) And I'll probably make some appetizer like thing. I know my parents want some more spanikopita like I made last year, plus I've got a great hot spinach dip recipe that's always loved.

And what will we be doing while we eat all these munchies? Solving a murder! Way fun. It's a murder mystery party! I forgot to say on the weekend I also emailed all my guests their character descriptions so they could come in costume (like add a hat or glasses and a necklace or something, I don't want it to be ridiculous!). I accidentally read one of the character books so I have to be that person (I'm not the murderer, shhh!). I'm the deceased's spoiled rich son with a gambling problem, sunglasses, shifty, carries dice around. I think it would also say coke habit (as in the drug, not the soda! ha!) if it weren't a family game. Anyway, I'm excited for that.

Hubby's leaving wednesday through to sunday for his hunting trip with his dad. So I can get ready all week. Plus I have plans to decorate for Christmas, sew a stupid Christmas outfit (it's an ugly Christmas sweater party in a couple weeks but I'm thinking of sewing an ugly skirt to go with it. fun huh?) I'm quite looking forward to all the things I've got planned! It's gonna be a good week.

Oh, PLUS, I've got a massage booked for tomorrow after work. Sweet.

0.2 lb loss?!?! I'll take it!

So remember when I said anything less than 140.0 would be a good day? Well I weighed 139.8 this morning. Cutting it pretty close, but it's still a good day right? If I only lose 0.2 lbs per week, by my sister's wedding...well it's only 6 lbs in 6 months. So I better step it up right? ;)

Today's a good start already. I had just 2 pb and honey toasts (friday I feel like honey's ok, usually it's homemade sugar free jam, I guess if I were being strict I'd toss the honey for awhile). Snack was 2 cranberry muffins. (there will be a lot of muffins in the next couple days, my cranberry muffins are delicious and healthy, but they mold really quickly. So moist?). Lunch is gonna be a salad with my homemade dressing AND leftover pulled pork. I like having 2 lunch meals. The salad with no protein or nuts or anything isn't enough for a meal. So it's just like I'm taking apart a chef salad or something. Plus I don't need as much "dessert" things after. Just an orange or some berries or something (instead of both + more). I've also got yogurt and a hard boiled egg and more oranges and an apple. I'm hoping that the office slacks off a bit this afternoon and has beers (good english...) in the conference room (I just have a pop, I don't like beer anyway). It distracts my for the last 45 minutes of work, plus I usually don't eat my full afternoon snack (and don't miss it).

Speaking of miss it. Yesterday I, for some reason, was munchy like crazy!!! I ate all my food AND a day old donut (i know i know) by 1:30. Leaving me nothing for the afternoon. I managed fine, I left work early! haha! I did leave early to meet my sis and mom to dress shop (AGAIN). I got lost and really really frustrated.

NOTE: if you have a pay as you go phone - keep some G*# (#&$(! minutes on it!!! and if you have a cell phone period - keep the ***#*@ $*$&ing thing charged! Mom's phone was dead and sis's was out of minutes so I could only text her and she could text back. Well I'm driving back and forth up and down this huge street (across the whole city and back) looking for this place and when I say I'm lost, they're like "go south". South from where? I say where is it? Avenue? They say near the DQ. Well that doesn't help me figure out which way I have to go does it? Where's the DQ? I was furious with them. Especially because I'm texting while driving which is not good. and I don't even know if I'm going the right way. boo them!

ANYWAY, we went to my house for supper (souvlaki, salad, buns, veggies, yum yum.) Then to this place where the lady orders and sells (and sews) dresses out of her house. My sister found her dress! It's super pretty. PLUS, it probably would have cost $800 or $900 in a store, but the lady charged $450! The mark-ups are ridiculous! Granted they have to pay staff and for the buildings etc. But double? too much. I sort of felt like this lady was getting them off the black market or something though. She said she's going to call her guy and see if they can make the dress (in China) for her in Ivory instead of white (not really an option in the catologue but she thinks her guy will do it.). sort of sketchy. But she doesn't pay until she picks it up.

Her dress has sweetheart neckline (something she knew she wanted) and is fitted to the waist, then it poofs out a bit with random pick-ups (the things that make it look like whipped cream). Mom hated those things, but it got worked out because the seller/seamstress said that you can move them to lower on the dress and have fewer of them or whatever. Sis loved it because it had lace (on the bodice) and the sweetheart neckline. The dress before it was almost the winner, but you could see the seams which she hated (dress didn't have enough lining and nothing on the top, just smooth satin), but the neck was perfect and it was simple like she wanted. but when we (bridesmaid, me and mom) started picking it apart a bit, and she realized she didn't like the seams showing, it sort of broke her heart and her face was turning red and tears were welling up when she changed out of it. I felt so bad. I remember crying when I bought my dress. The dress I sort of really loved I got talked out of and it just hurt a bit. It was the first moments of realizing that "my big day" really wasn't all about me no matter what they say.

But I think she's really happy and likes her dress and didn't just settle.

Anyway, weekend today! woohoo! plans? Not much. house cleaning. INCLUDING shampoo the carpet. yay! Plus hubby's having his hockey team over after their game on saturday so I'm playing perfect wife and making appetizers and stuff. Other than that, not much. hope to get a workout in. watch some tv and movies maybe. scrapbook? More cooking and baking. Hubby's hunting for half the week next week and I'd like to send him with some goodies. (man I AM the perfect wife huh?) I think I should also start thinking Christmas shopping and at least plan what I'm getting everyone. how 'bout you?
;)

follow ups

Christmas oranges - I don't know what they really are, we just call them Christmas oranges or Chinese or Japanese oranges. I guess Chinese mandarine oranges. I think it's a prairie thing to call them that (as Jen totally knew what I was talking about!)





eggs - How to eat a hard boiled egg? I'm sort of funny about this. My office is so quiet that I don't like to make lots of noise, so I wrap it in a tissue and crack it on the floor (just the first hard whack). My desk would make too much noise. Then I just peel it and eat it in 2 bites. Sometimes I take the golf ball (aka yolk) out, sometimes not. I know it contains cholesterol, but I also heard that it's not the cholesterol you eat the contributes to high cholesterol, but the kind your body makes from bad fats and whatever.





salad dressing #1 - not so much like Olive Garden. It is pretty good still and I'm quite enjoying it, but not quite the same. recipe (don't mind the >, from an email):





>Olive Garden Italian Dressing >>


1/2 cup mayonnaise >


1/3 cup white vinegar >


1 teaspoon vegetable oil >


2 tablespoons corn syrup >


2 tablespoons parmesan cheese >


2 tablespoons romano cheese >


1/4 teaspoon garlic salt >


1/2 teaspoon italian seasoning >


1/2 teaspoon parsley flakes >


1 tablespoon lemon juice >>


Mix all ingredients in a blender (I used a salad dressing mixer thing, worked fine)until well mixed. If this is a little >to tart for your own personal tastes please add a little


extra sugar. >>





Olive Garden Salad Mix >>


1 bag American Blend Dole Salad >


4-5 slices Red Onion >


4-6 Black Olives >


2-4 Banana Peppers >


1/2 cup Croutons >


1 small Tomato Quartered >


Freshly grated Parmesan Cheese





I can't remember if there was anything else I was supposed to follow up with. remind me if you're missing it.





Today I think I'm cutting work a bit early again to go dress shopping (Again) with my sis and mom. But today is the day, she's gotta find it. We've got an app't booked at this place that sells dresses out of her house and custom orders ones if you want, or sews them etc. From her website she had lots of really really nice ones, for much cheaper than other stores. We're very hopeful about it. (even though it sounded sketchy saying she sells dresses from her house...)





i'm also making supper for them, souvlaki's (bought, not homemade, cleaning out the freezer), fake olive garden salad, homemade buns and mixed veggies. Nice and healthy and well rounded.





what else can I say...





Oh, class last night was good. I was teachers pet again. We were doing planks and she talked about how to make it harder, and came over to me and put a weight on my back. I loved it (I love planks, but my shoulders always tire before I even feel it in my abs, this helped!). THen she let me use her barbell instead of my dumbells for the rest of the exercises (KILLER for lying tricept extensions!) It was really good. I'm anticipating a loss (as in I'm going to start weighing in officially again) tomorrow. Anything less that 140.0 and I'm calling it a loss and happy.





I also came up with a new goal. I want to get in shape again (well duh) not just for the looks, but because I don't like being tired with things I don't think should tire me out. Also, I want my back to be nice. As in, I used to have those muscles on either side of my spine in my lower back. Hmm, I'll find a picture. Anyway, I want them back. (and this picture isn't great but I think it shows what I'm talking about at least:

I prefer more muscley and sweaty and less looking outside in my granny panties, but i'm at work so don't have time to google pictures of women's backs. Well I have time, but don't want to get caught.

Anyway, that's a new goal of mine. I remember when I was in high school and played competative volleyball, I was walking home and put my hand on my low back and felt the muscles moving with each step I took, it was pretty cool. I want that again. Currently, I have back fat...

asldkf

Anybody else completely sick of coming up with titles for their posts? I think I give up.

My other favorite food that I feel like I just discovered? Christmas oranges! I've been packing back 2 a day (well starting this week) and love it. I love that they take a little while to eat, are cheap, are healthy, easy to pack. etc etc. Oranges and eggs x2/day. (that looks like a math equation, I guess it is! yay math!)

So I did go to the gym yesterday. It wasn't all I was hoping for, but I guess I've got to ease myself into it. First I forgot to pack a sports bra, so it was regual bra under workout shirt, and strap kept falling down (bright teal). I wore my zip up the whole time too. So I started with a run on the treadmill. And since I also forgot my MP3 player, the 15 minutes dragged on. Oh well. I still managed to run fast and with a decent incline without being too exhausted so I'm glad my running fitness hasn't deteriorated completely.

The gym was crazy busy, and I hate that, because then I have to hover at weight machines or whatever and guys on them always take like 10 minute rests between 9 sets of like 5. I ended up doing some bicept curls, rows, chest flies, and leg presses. Nothing was really sore so I didn't push hard enough.

Then supper was pulled pork buns. They were only alright. I think you have to find a barbeque sauce you can eat spoonfuls of to like that one. I only like a hint of it. Hubby cut up veggies too. Such a sweetie.

Then the rest of the night was wasted downloading tunes and reading magazines. (I can't believe that I got a new Women's Health magazine and I haven't started reading my last months! that NEVER happens!)

Tonight I've got kickboxing. That and a dog walk I think are all I'm up for. I'm very tired lately.

Hard boiled eggs

Do you guys know about hard boiled eggs? I feel like I just discovered them. I ate 2 today, once for mornign snack, once for afternoon. They are GOOD! 80 calories, 6 g of protein. Keeps me full. CHEAP. EASY. What more do I have to say!
(small smell factor I suppose, but I eat them in 2 bites so it's gone quick).

Busy at work, but so productive and the day just flies by. I was the last one here yesterday and had to lock up. that NEVER happens. I love being busy. (but not stressed, deadlines are far away).

oh yeah, I'm gyming after work today! Wish me luck!

Fun times

So my weekend was great. Very quick and I do feel ripped off like I didn't get a weekend. But it was fun. Friday night was prep. Packing etc. Saturday way early I picked up the other girl and we took off. It was pitched black for 2.5 hours then all of a sudden light when we picked up my sister in Lloyd. Then drove the other 2.5 hours. We borrowed my parents GPS since none of us knew the city at all. Well my sister was navigating and she did say she sucked, but did she ever suck. We wasted lots of time and gas driving to West Ed. AND once there we got lost in the Mall over and over. Oh I should say, I ate pretty crappy. Grabbing greasy A&W breakfast, then eating lunch at Hooters (don't even ask), I had a crappy hotdog that I didn't finish, and fries that were hard as a rock so I only ate around 5. But I did have a big margarita. Wandered all over the mall, I ended up buying:
noodles from the Chinese grocery store
black satin pumps from Forever 21
Teal short sleeve sweater and black off the shoulder top from some other cheap place
Make up at Sephora


Sis and other bridesmaid (BM) bought a bit of stuff too. Sis didn't get much because she went in looking for something specific and then could never find it, (a grey camisole, shouldn't be hard, but it was). BM wanted a coat so that took tons of time trying on all sorts of different ones, every place had a big selection of them but we wanted to find an inexpensive one that was nice, so it was a lot of comparison shopping. The wedding stores in the mall were very busy and really expensive, plus sis didn't feel like trying stuff on by the time we got to them. (Mom's probably coming up this weekend or thursday to try shopping again).

We got lost on the way to pick up my friend again then went to Olive Garden (we were such the saskatchewan tourists! No Olive Garden in SK so that's where everyone always goes on AB trips, so lame). I still wasn't hungry, even though I hardly ate any lunch, (not meaning it was low cal or anything). Like severely not hungry. I ordered a chicken dish because the accompanying veggies sounded good. I ate a plate of salad, and half a breadstick. Then the veggies and 1 bit of chicken, boxed up the rest. It was weird how unhungry I was. I did have another drink, another margarita I think.

It took so long to eat and everything that it was already 10:00 when we got to my friend's. So we just sat and visited for a couple hours and then went to bed. The next day my friend made us waffles with strawberries and whipped cream and had fruit and muffins and juice etc. So good. (I love breakfast foods so much!) Anyway. after that was Ikea (again, no Ikea in Saskatchewan so have to do it in Ikea, that and stop at Superstore liquor store and stock up on Brewhouse. It's about half the cost of beer is Saskatoon [we don't have private liquor stores] even though it's made in Saskatchewan). So we spent 3 hours in Ikea or more. I didn't get that much. A couple containers and a toilet brush and some Christmas decorations. But with 4 people all looking for different things and nothing very specific it ended up taking a long time. Then we were hungry again by the time we got done so just grabbed some hotdogs and cinnamon buns (these hotdogs were $0.50 and were way way better than my $7 one.) Then we dropped off my friend and took off again! End of road trip! (stupid 5 hour drive one way!)

The driving was mostly lots of fun too though I guess. We were quite giggly.

Other random things I want to say:

- Both BM and I admitted to sis that we'd probably getting pregnant now if it wasn't for her wedding. She told us that we could be pregnant anyways. We'll see...
- My sister's idea for favours for her wedding was to not do individual boxes of candy for everyone, but rather have a candy buffet where you can fill up your own little bag from a huge assortment of candies. That idea made me so happy. Just the idea of it. It's like going to a candy store and getting whatever you want by the scoopful. It was originally goign to be in various glass bowls and cups and fishbowls and stuff (think Martha Stewart how unmatching things can match) but then when we were almost done Ikea and she picked out all these glass things that really added up, we saw the flower pots and changed it to that. Her theme is ivy and plants and flowers, so flower pots (cleaned, probably lined) full of candy, mixed with some real pots of houseplants with ivy between them all. Oh, and you scoop your candy with miniature trowels and stuff. Cute huh?
- My pregnant friend we stayed with is the type of pregnant woman you hate. She didn't look pregnant at all from the front. Couldn't tell at all. It looked EXACTLY like she shoved a basketball under her shirt. Only 7 weeks left.
- her hubby really really appreciated the tiny Rider jersey onsie we got. Pretty cool. Friend really appreciated the M&M's gift certificate I also got her, she hates cooking.
- I am very ready to lose weight again. The scale only shows me up 5 lbs from my previous low, but I think somehow it looks more like 10 lbs. I didn't used to have any muffin top when I weighed this much, and my tummy was flat and tight, just larger than I wanted. Now it's all lose and jiggly and I have to wear coats or sweaters on top of all the clothes I used to wear. Starting this week I'm back to the gym.
- I found 2 different recipes for the Olive Garden salad dressing, if either of them tastes right, I'll share.
- I weighed 140.2 this morning. That's less than I did friday before we left. Sometimes it is so weird what a weekend can do for you.

oh did I mention

Hey did I mention that i'm a super cool grown-up business lady now and have a work cell phone? Paid for by work? Not really sure why. Probably it's just cheap for them to add me on, and it was a free cell promotion. But it's way cool and I'm super excited about it. Unfortunately I don't know anything about the plan I'm on, I don't think they expect me to use it for only business since my boss said I could get rid of my personal cell now and save some money. But I don't want to rack up all these texting charges and stuff either. I should just be able to go into Telus and give them my phone number and they'll be able to let me know right?

Anyway, my new cell number is 306-71 - haha, just kidding!

I'm way excited, it's not as hip as my other new cell phone (which flipped 2 different ways and had a QWERTY keyboard for texting:

But it came with a car charger, micor SD card AND a full size SD card AND an SD card reader to plug into computers. Plus a headset and earphones. I'm way excited, it's the lg chocolate flip:(shitty picture) And yeah, I only got black:

Anyway, way excited, probably spend the rest of the day reading my user guide and downloading things to put on my new cell. (plus because it's a different provider than my personal phone, I don't have any helpful tech guy to transfer all my contacts so I'm doing that one at a time. Unless anybody out there knows a trick?)

Oh, also, anybody know anything about breaking a 3 year contract with a cell provider? I think I should just have to pay an early termination fee, I'm guessing $100? (totally worth it in my case as I JUST signed this contract like a month ago.)

yep

So today is a nice relaxed day at work. I have a bunch of mindless (yet urgent) work that's going to take up my whole day for another dude so it's podcasts and green tea and mouse clicking. nice way to end a short week.

Then it's off to Edmonton tomorrow! yay! I'm very excited, gonna check out the Ikea website soon. I can't think of anything, but there must be SOMETHING I need.

I found a great recipe for chocolate chip cookies last night which I baked up as a gift for our preggers hostess (can't exactly do wine now can I). I only ate 1 last night and 2 this morning as a snack. I'm giving half to my friend (probably 2 dozen), and freezing half. I've got 5 cookies left that didn't fit in the containers, so I'll leave those for hubby on the weekend. they're really soft and good cookies, but by no means healthy so I won't share the recipe unless requested.

Oh, and my ham slow cooker recipe, only ok. It looked prettier before it was cooked. The slow cooked cranberries turned sorta grey, plus they were pretty tart with nothing really balancing them out. The ham itself was good. So if the rest was just like a marinate it worked. The recipe was from the cookbook the Big Cook or something like that. It's got tons of recipes for things that you make in advance, (like 8 meals worth), then freeze in ziplock bags and throw in a slow cooker to cook (or barbeque or other things, I just liked the slow cooking). I really recommend the cookbook. Not that the recipes are so great, but just the idea of stocking up on meals is awesome. It actually recommends doing this with a couple friends, making 8 meals of a couple recipes each and then splitting it up. Fills your freezer and you'll eat good for months! (I just do it by my lonesome so far)

Yesterday after work I went shoe shopping with my sister. She bought some black boots, very nice, but $200. She had a gift certificate though so they were half price. Then we hit the mall for a couple hours, mostly just looking since we've got a big shopping trip this weekend. I bought a trail mix pack for $1 and shared that with her, then didn't eat my ham until 8:10! But I only ate my ham and a banana. Plus I didn't feel hungry and munchy like I usually do on thursdays (good tv night). So I call it a success.

No exercise though. Mall walking.

Tonight I've got to pack and get ready. We're only going for 1 night, leaving at 6:30 in the morning to get there at noon. I have a feeling it won't be a very relaxing weekend. At least this was a short work week. I'm planning on blowing a good $200 or $300 on myself. And when I have a hard time buying ANYTHING more than $20, it should mean a lot of loot!

not feeling it

The blogging that is. Used to spend an hour just blabbing on here. Lately haven't been feeling it.

I had kickboxing last night. It was good. I felt weird. I pushed myself hard in a track that's normally easy and got all light headed, so I sort of took it easy for the rest. Just didn't feel normal. But it was a good workout.

Maybe it was my hotdogs for supper before hand. Say what you will about hotdogs, they are yummy, AND they are one of my lowest calorie meals. (with a side of steamed green beans). Tonight is much more fancy, ham steaks with pineapple and cranberry sauce. (slow cooker recipe) we'll see how it turns out.

I'm also way busy tonight. Shoe shopping with my sis after work. Then home and laundry and make appetizer for hubby's ball windup party I'm missing. Plus figure out what I'm doing for a present for my friend's baby. (we're going to visit her this weekend in Edmonton and I've got nothing so far, she's due in January. I was thinking M&M meats gift certificate or something since I can't bring her a lasagna she could buy one, but is that a national chain? Any other ideas?)

I'm excited for our trip. Yay Ikea! Also yay to shopping. The plan is to think Christmas, but I actually really need some clothes (jeans and sweaters). fun fun. Plus some wedding shopping too. yay!

I caught something.

I think I have eczema. On my FACE. It might be something else too though. It's dry, rough skin. But it's not really red and not itchy, just tight and dry and rough. But exfoliating and moisturizing has no effect at all. I bought some Hydrocortisone cream and it makes it feel SOOO much better. But you can only use it 4 times a day for 7 days. I'm on day 2.5 and it feels nice, for about an hour. Then I want more. And there hasn't really been an improvement (aka not going away). Hubby says it feels like razor burn, but I haven't been shaving. ;)

In case you were wondering why you haven't heard from me in so long, I took Monday off as holiday and tuesday was a holiday. I won't go all into what I did and all that from the weekend etc. But it was pretty eventful, no day just at home cleaning and stuff. I feel like I've eaten out way too much lately. But I'm doing way better on my eating at the same time. Strange. I sort of feel like myself again - food wise that is. Packing appropriate lunches and if I over eat at lunch, have a lighter supper. The exercise thing is not where I want it but i'm working on it.

I did exercise yesterday. Doing a metabolic cardio workout. I tried to do some body weight strength things on the weekend but just wasn't feeling it so I quit after squats and lunges. (but did enough to make my butt sore the next day!)

I did a lot of walking around on Monday. It was a wedding day for my sister. Mom came up and we tried to go to wedding dress stores, but most were closed taking a long weekend. Which was shitty because sis called them to see if they were open before mom came up, and the didn't say anything on their answering machines about it. I was feeling fairly pushy and taking over about things, but I think it's ok. She hasn't official ASKED me to help her with the invitations, but she want to make them (scrapbooky style) but she doesn't scrapbook so I was telling her all the things you can do and how we could use my supplies etc etc. She basically had a bad day and was sad/grumpy on Monday because of the stores being closed. So we figured other things out, like the invites, the favours, the flowers. (all of which I may be doing! EEK! I just can't let her spend $200 on a bouquet when I saw how easy they are to make! I'm SURE I could do it. Same thing with a wedding cake, but I've been told to practice that at Christmas and Birthdays first).

Anyway, this working out stuff. I should be defending my thesis soon. And after I do that, I don't have a gym any more (because I will finally be done school!!!). So I'll either have to go without (which is what i've been doing, haven't been gyming in a long time) or find a new one and pay for it. I would love to go to the same gym as my sister since we used to work out together sometimes, and we could motivate each other. But I also got a flyer about a gym opening up in my town (I live 20 minutes outside the city) soon, which would be so much more convenient. However it said opening soon, so who knows when that is. I'd hate to sign a contract for a gym in the city and then have to wait it out or opt out or something. So what do I do? not workout. I think I'll start going to the university gym some more until I can't anymore. No reason I can't, I just want a change of scenery.

plans

So folks,
first I'm disappointed with my Edmonton girls. Wedding dress boutiques! need the info!

Second, I suck. Oh, I've been posting tidbits about how I suck. How I just am not feeling it and so on, but I haven't told you that I basically ate ALL the leftover halloween candy (beside tootsie rolls which I do not enjoy) in a couple days, that I have been eating processed food like I don't know the difference, that I had a nasty office donut the other day with very little remorse, that I just can't stop shoving my face all day! Back to posting what i'm eating:

b - 2 pb toasts with jam, AND oatmeal to go bar
s - yogo bites (really nasty fruit snack things covered in yogurt, basically 100 cal pack of pure candy), kashi cereal (dry)

l - parisan salad - thanks Amy - from Costco. No added protein so I also brought a hard boiled egg. grapes, veggies and dip, cheese string

s - yogurt, orange, apple

supper - not sure. Maybe leftover fish.

Ok, that's the plan. I've been eating every little thing I brought for lunch. and today that would add a small pack of trail mix, another orange, another cheese string, a granola bar. and that's on top of too much food to begin with.

Boo me.

Time to step it up. Seriously. Occassions are coming up. Such as? Bridesmaid dress shopping. Even though she hasn't set the date yet, my sister wants to shop for bridesmaid dresses. While I knew I had lots of time left before the wedding to slim down, if we're dress shopping now, I don't want to have to order a size big. Plus the sample dresses can leave you pretty much naked if they don't fit (falling off or not done up) and I don't need my chub being criticized in dresses.

ALSO, Christmas parties are being planned. Especially at hubby's work one, I try and look nice, don't want to be all self conscious all night.

So I now stick to my food plan!

Other news, for the get together for the baking exchange at my house, we're going to do a Murder Mystery Party! How fun is that? I got a kit a long time ago and never got around to doign it, mostly because I thought the guys would ruin it. But this is girls only!

I also have to tell you about the awesome thing that happened at class last night. I was bundled up and walking away from the school when this girl catchs up to me and says "Randine right?"
"no Randi."
"oh, hi I'm Robin [sweet I remembered her name! i suck at this!] I just had to tell you that my goal in class is to get my knees as high as yours when we're jogging"

AWESOME!!! We do this jog in place thing in one of the tracks and then high knees etc. I always find that time as a little break, just because I think the kickboxing is harder than going for a run. (i think your body adapts to running easier than kickboxing, more repetative movements right?) Anyway, I guess that might be just me, since this chicky is pushing way hard to match me. I was so flattered and told her so. (is that a weird response, "that's so flattering!") I even walked past my turn in order to chat with her more. Then walked the long way home with a stupid grin on my face, daydreaming about teaching a class.

I should have done this in the other order, but a bad thing happened yesterday too. I emailed to inquire about how my stupid committee is coming along with scheduling a defense for my stupid thesis. (supposed to take ~5 weeks from submitting to defense.) They've had mine since the end of August and havent' given it to the external reviewer yet so that will add at least 3 more weeks. PLUS, one of my committee members is ill, and in India visiting family. So may not be coming home when he was planning on it either (nov 15) so it may be postponed further. I can't really be mad that the guy is really sick (don't know what that means, like the flu? Or something life threatening?) but I am mad that it will delay my defense even further. If I'm not done by Christmas I'll give up.

Ok, well, work to do, and thursday is my favorite because I've got new podcasts to listen to while I work. yay! (what a bipolar post, highs and lows huh?)

Edmonton friends:

Hey girlies who know Edmonton. We're planning a girls weekend right away to Edmonton to shop for wedding dresses for my sister. Any advice on where to go? Dress stores that are worth it or bad luck with any places? We've really only got about an afternoon for time, so the closer the places are the better. Please and thank you!

Perspective

US election had record high voter turnout - 65% of those registered I think. (I'm unclear on how the registering thing works in the states, like what percent of the eligible population registered? So how high is that voter number really?)

Canadian election voter turnout - record low - 60%. Seems funny. PLUS, our election was ONLY for the federal leadership, we had no additional bills or civic positions on the bill.

(note my numbers may be off, that's just a quick google search for ya)

Also, to be fair, in Canada, (in my opinion) we didn't really have anything on the line. It was not a record making election like in the states, where either party would change history. The parties in Canada (well those who had a realistic shot of winning) REALLY aren't that different. They fight and bicker like they are, but that's politics.

I gotta admit that I am glad it's over! No matter who wins, I love election aftermath. Coming through with promises, making changes. Or not. It's better than campaigning!

re-motivated

Last night walking home from weight class I was thinking of some of the big reasons I want to continue to lose weight and get in shape to keep me motivated. (awesome what a good ass kicking fitness class will do for you hey?) So I'm starting a list. I did this before I lost any weight and it was great. I encourage all of you to come up with a list, or add to mine! Help me out! Here goes:

1. To be a fitness instructor
2. to look like a fitness instructor (I took a class from a much bigger girl before, and while it ws a good class, I couldn't stop thinking the whole time about why was she big, wasn't the class working?)
3. to be able to wear the first thing I try on, not have to change to find something that looks nice
4. To not get crazy fat when I'm pregnant
5. To look good at my sister's wedding
6. To be able to shop with other people
7. BIKINI
8. To be able to wear all my current clothes
9. To not get asked if I'm pregnant
10. To feel better
11. To keep that cholesterol in check - it was high when I weighed 20lbs more
12. To prevent diseases and cancer - exercise can do this!


anyway, that's all I've got right now. I'm sure I'll add to it.

Yesterday was good. The weight class was good. I'm always tired and don't feel like it at the beginning, but the first song gets me into it already. I also want to get in better shape so squats don't kill me. But if they don't I guess I'd have to up the weight and they'd hurt again. Before that I was playing with Daisy like a crazy person. Hubby even wondered if I finally lost it. We were playing tag in the house. But a sort of tag that dogs play, where no one is it, you just randomly run and chase each other. then we played another weird game where she tried to steal the smarties box from my hand (she dug it out of the garbage, I didn't just eat them!). She wouldn't bite me, but would grab a tiny corner with her teeth or try and lick it out. I was killing myself laughing.

Not really any plans tonight. I've got to make my Christmas wish list and shopping list. Plus I've got 3 magazines I haven't read yet, plus 2 books I wanted to finally get at reading. Might be a mellow one. Plus i'm a sucker for election television.

home shopping party

Hey dudes,
quick question. We're doing a Christmas baking exchange with a bunch of my girlfriends and getting together at the end of the month to do the exchange. Last year it coincided with a candle party a girl was having so we did that first then exchanged and visited and ate. This year I am hosting, I suggested making Christmas cards, but not everyone is down for that. They suggested like an Epicure party or something. Personally I'm not usually a big fan of these things, I feel obligated to buy stuff and don't want to make other people feel like that. Tupperware, Pampered Chef etc. I definately don't need any new kitchen things so it just didn't make sense for me to host one. I could do like Home and Gift or whatever it's called but it's all so expensive I know I'd never buy anything. I hate candle parties. I guess I could do Epicure, I've never been to one of those before. anybody have any other ideas? We could do a sex toy party, but they're usually booked up pretty far in advance, plus I don't need anything like that (got enough! ;) ) help?

Feelings

Sometimes I'm really happy with my body just as it is right now (every morning when I get out of bed and see myself in the mirror getting dressed.) However there are times when it's totally depressing (when I'm sitting, when I put on pants that used to fit, shopping). My body image is messed up, I can't decide if I'm happy or not. I'm thinking probably not, but then I'm not unhappy enough to really commit to doing anything about it. Frustrating.

My weekend was good. I didn't get EVERYTHING from that list done, but a heck of a lot and I'm happy with it. Friday night I made jam and canned it up. Also cleaned the kitchen and sewed a tote bag (though it's not great, I needed heavier fabric, it doesn't hold it's shape well. but it looks good full). Saturday I walked the dog and did a bit more house cleaning. Then wedding dress shopping with my sister. So much fun. She looked good in everything. But we forgot to look at the price tags at first and then nearly had a heart attack. Some of the cheap ones (like $200) were REALLY nice, but were sort of sewn cheaply, could see through a little bit and stuff like that. When we picked them out ourselves we stuck to less than $800 but then when somebody would come around to help us and bring us styles they thought would look good (while they were sometimes right) they brought expensive ones. Plus they sort of were making her change her mind about what she wanted. Which is fine, it happens, but they sort of caused it. She wanted very simple, plain, didn't like lots of beads and stuff. But lace was nice. Not a big poofy, fancy thing, but more classic and simple. But some of the dressed that looked amazing on her looked like wedding cakes! not her at all. But did flatter her shape a lot (tiniest waist you could ever imagine, but it sort of makes her hips look big. They're not, and it's all bone not fat but it can be tricky). Plus they were saying how she didn't need straps and how they take away from it, but she really wanted straps. We emailed mom the pictures and she said how she DIDN'T like the strapless ones. I like that they are helpful and stuff but they should wait to hear what you think of it before they tell you their thoughts.

Side note, how much did you guys spend on wedding dresses (or would you for your wedding)? Mom and Dad bought mine, ($300, no alterations), so if it's more than they would spend then Sis can make up the difference, but it's sort of akward for mom to say what's too much or not, so Sis is trying to only look at ones that are reasonable. But what's reasonable?

(SIL's dress was $1200 plus over $200 in alterations, looked nice, but not worth it in my opinion)

Anyway, so we ate lunch at a mall near a bridal store and walked through the mall and I bought an awesome coat. It's purple. I can't believe I liked it. But it was gorgeous and 1/2 price the previous sale (so only $30!). But trying on the coat was a time when I was unhappy with my body. It fit decent, but I was only wearing a t-shirt. I can't wear much more than that without boob-gapeage.

Saturday night I did some scrapbooking, made myself a tortilla pizza for supper. A bit of nothing.

Sunday I scrapbooked more. Did some ironing and hemming for hubby then packed up the sewing stuff finally (been out for months!) Watched Iron Man. Made a big pot of chili (which is only ok, I added tons and tons of really finely chopped veggies, but it really took away from the chili flavour. It's still decent though) Also cut up a ton of carrots and celery so we'd have it for lunches and easy snacks, but we ate them all already! I also went for a 30 minute jog with Daisy. It was so nice out I couldn't not go. I heard that winter is coming friday though so might be the last one. More scrapbooking, more house cleaning. some tv and bed time!

I had a revelation, albeit a duh one, saturday morning driving in to shop with my sister. I was thinking about how I was sooo tired lately, ever since the wedding, I couldn't catch up on my sleep. I also had no motivation to exercise or be very productive in the evenings like I used to be. I was thinking this as I was drinking a diet rootbeer at 10:30 in the morning and eating a couple mini boxes of smarties. Well duh right? I'd also been eating crappy since the wedding! Hardly takes a rocket scientist to figure out they're related. I feel BAD when I eat BAD. I get bad food hangovers! Remind me of this all the time people! It's why I don't drink, because I don't like the way I feel after. I do like the way I feel when I eat tons of fruits and veggies and get lots of running and weight workouts in. Forget the weight loss junk, I FEEL better! Like I said, duh.