Feelings

Sometimes I'm really happy with my body just as it is right now (every morning when I get out of bed and see myself in the mirror getting dressed.) However there are times when it's totally depressing (when I'm sitting, when I put on pants that used to fit, shopping). My body image is messed up, I can't decide if I'm happy or not. I'm thinking probably not, but then I'm not unhappy enough to really commit to doing anything about it. Frustrating.

My weekend was good. I didn't get EVERYTHING from that list done, but a heck of a lot and I'm happy with it. Friday night I made jam and canned it up. Also cleaned the kitchen and sewed a tote bag (though it's not great, I needed heavier fabric, it doesn't hold it's shape well. but it looks good full). Saturday I walked the dog and did a bit more house cleaning. Then wedding dress shopping with my sister. So much fun. She looked good in everything. But we forgot to look at the price tags at first and then nearly had a heart attack. Some of the cheap ones (like $200) were REALLY nice, but were sort of sewn cheaply, could see through a little bit and stuff like that. When we picked them out ourselves we stuck to less than $800 but then when somebody would come around to help us and bring us styles they thought would look good (while they were sometimes right) they brought expensive ones. Plus they sort of were making her change her mind about what she wanted. Which is fine, it happens, but they sort of caused it. She wanted very simple, plain, didn't like lots of beads and stuff. But lace was nice. Not a big poofy, fancy thing, but more classic and simple. But some of the dressed that looked amazing on her looked like wedding cakes! not her at all. But did flatter her shape a lot (tiniest waist you could ever imagine, but it sort of makes her hips look big. They're not, and it's all bone not fat but it can be tricky). Plus they were saying how she didn't need straps and how they take away from it, but she really wanted straps. We emailed mom the pictures and she said how she DIDN'T like the strapless ones. I like that they are helpful and stuff but they should wait to hear what you think of it before they tell you their thoughts.

Side note, how much did you guys spend on wedding dresses (or would you for your wedding)? Mom and Dad bought mine, ($300, no alterations), so if it's more than they would spend then Sis can make up the difference, but it's sort of akward for mom to say what's too much or not, so Sis is trying to only look at ones that are reasonable. But what's reasonable?

(SIL's dress was $1200 plus over $200 in alterations, looked nice, but not worth it in my opinion)

Anyway, so we ate lunch at a mall near a bridal store and walked through the mall and I bought an awesome coat. It's purple. I can't believe I liked it. But it was gorgeous and 1/2 price the previous sale (so only $30!). But trying on the coat was a time when I was unhappy with my body. It fit decent, but I was only wearing a t-shirt. I can't wear much more than that without boob-gapeage.

Saturday night I did some scrapbooking, made myself a tortilla pizza for supper. A bit of nothing.

Sunday I scrapbooked more. Did some ironing and hemming for hubby then packed up the sewing stuff finally (been out for months!) Watched Iron Man. Made a big pot of chili (which is only ok, I added tons and tons of really finely chopped veggies, but it really took away from the chili flavour. It's still decent though) Also cut up a ton of carrots and celery so we'd have it for lunches and easy snacks, but we ate them all already! I also went for a 30 minute jog with Daisy. It was so nice out I couldn't not go. I heard that winter is coming friday though so might be the last one. More scrapbooking, more house cleaning. some tv and bed time!

I had a revelation, albeit a duh one, saturday morning driving in to shop with my sister. I was thinking about how I was sooo tired lately, ever since the wedding, I couldn't catch up on my sleep. I also had no motivation to exercise or be very productive in the evenings like I used to be. I was thinking this as I was drinking a diet rootbeer at 10:30 in the morning and eating a couple mini boxes of smarties. Well duh right? I'd also been eating crappy since the wedding! Hardly takes a rocket scientist to figure out they're related. I feel BAD when I eat BAD. I get bad food hangovers! Remind me of this all the time people! It's why I don't drink, because I don't like the way I feel after. I do like the way I feel when I eat tons of fruits and veggies and get lots of running and weight workouts in. Forget the weight loss junk, I FEEL better! Like I said, duh.