Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Mother Hugger, I've got a problem...

My name is Randi and I'm addicted to cookies.

In the last 3 days, I've eaten probably 18 cookies. (3600 calories ish?) These were delicious soft homemade or bakery cookies. Not Oreos or anything. Those are gross. These were amazing.

I have always loved cookies. We used to get a cookie every day when watching Mr. Dress-up. (morning snack, 1 peanut butter cookie).

Cookie was my first word.

I had a brief break from cookies when I went to school. Kindergarden to probably grade 6 or something. The time when you still had to ask Mom if you could have a treat ya know?

Then in high school I remember sneaking cookies. Everyone was watching tv in the living room, I'd go in the kitchen, open the cookie jar and quickly eat 2 cookies. I ate them as fast as I could and never really tasted them probably. But I loved cookies. If everyone was having 1 cookie, I would always take at least 2.

This was never really a chronic problem because we didn't always have homemade cookies. Plus I had 3 siblings and 2 parents who also loved cookies so when somebody did make cookies they'd only last a few days. I think that's part of the reason for the fast and furious eating. Wanted to make sure I got as many as I wanted before somebody else ate them.

Well occassionally that cookie monster (me) will come out again. I rarely make cookies, and try and get rid of them quickly when I do (take them to work). I know that if I'm aware that there are delicious cookies sitting in my kitchen, that's all I'll think about. And I'll give my permission to have some, because cookies are a treat and I love them so much.

But instead of allowing myself 1 cookie, I allow myself 1 day of cookies, knowing I'll get rid of them tomorrow. But what often happens, there's none left tomorrow to get rid of.

This is actually really unhealthy behaviour. Sort of binge eating behaviour isn't it? (when watching Oprah, I never had any of the eating disorder things, there was no "reason" I was overweight aside from too big of serving sizes. But turns out there is a bit of something there...)

As far as I know it's only cookies. They are my trigger. I think I really need to break up with cookies. As in NEVER eat them. And if I do eat them. It's one, because that's the only one in my house, because I got it for a gift, or I made them at somebody else's house and only brought one home. And if I need to make cookies for something (baking exchange etc) I'm making ginger snaps which I don't like. Oh and also, I am never allowed to buy cookies again at a bakery or whatever. Just not an option.

For some reason when it's a cookie it seems so different from a donut. Seems like a "serving" is 3 whereas I'd never eat 3 donuts in a row. Plus, the calories and fat in 1 cookie, really aren't that far off of a donut (well some kinds).

Does anybody else behave like this ever? What are your trigger foods? Is it like an alcoholic and you just can never have it again?


Lainey said...

I can't control myself where cookies are concerned either. I think for my cookie fix, I'd have to go to Cookies by George or something, buy only one, and eat it slowly. I even tried to make low fat cookies once, but I still wanted to eat them all.

Every Gym's Nightmare said...

ice cream. ice cream is the one food that i just keep going back for more, and then more, and then a spoonful, and the next thing you know its gone. a gallon of ice cream lasts no longer than 3 days in my house, which is why i dont buy it. my boy will buy it occassionally, and then its gone.

Kelly Turner

Lex said...

For me it's candy. Not chocolate, but candy... wine gums specifically.

It is tough tough tough, especially when those little rolls of wine gums are at every drug store/grocery store checkout isle.


Tiffa said...

I hear ya. We don't keep cookies in the house for this reason. My brothers nicknamed me the Cookie Monster from the time I was about 14 on.

eurydice said...

i don't keep junk food in the house for that reason. my weakness is ice cream - i become a psychotic monster around it.

Angie All The Way said...

Boy can I ever relate! I think everyone to some degree has an issue with some sort of eating behaviour. I don't think that means that they are "disorders" but they are alarming to those of us who at least are aware of them!

Frig I love cookies too!

Charlotte said...

Oh I definitely have trigger foods! Like Kelly, my worst is probably candy. Jelly beans especially. Also ice cream. I'm interested to see how this goes! I've tried breaking up with candy forever... it didn't last:(