Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Shall I vent here?

So yesterday I went for a meeting with the other bridesmaid (Nic) and the groom's cousin (Ang)to work on planning a shower/stagette for my sister. My sis had mentioned before that Ang sort of had her nose bent out of shape because she thinks she's entitled to be a groomsman or something. (because in high school, more than 12 years ago for her, groom had mentioned that he thought it was ok to have a girl groomsman if they were close or something). Anyway, they are no longer thatclose so she is not in wedding party. But to make up for it, so she's not a total bag, we thought we'd offer to let her host a shower at her house. She didn't have to do any work, but just use her house. But she seemed like she wanted to do work too. Ok fine.

So finally we meet up yesterday. Ang's basement had flooded seriously and they were sort of in house repairs so we said we could have it at Nic's house, no problem. (which got Nic excited to host). But then Ang said that her boyfriend's mother, I repeat, boyfriend's mother, a stranger to all, said we could have it at her house so she said sure.


We're going to have a shower/stagette for my sister at a stranger's house. Talk about uncomfortable. Especially when we have fine options (granted Nic and I both live 20 minutes outside of the city so people would have to drive).

But the way she said it and then moved on to other (infuriating topics) left little room for discussion. I tried being very vague and tiptoeing around it "but then she'd have to clean her house and rearrange things etc. That's not fair..." but she's like "oh her house is always clean, and the next day is mother's day so I'll over anyway to clean up". I should have said right then that I was uncomfortable with that idea.

The other infuriating idea she had, the one we spent a full 1.5 hours discussing, was how to keep the groom's mother, ang's aunt, away from the stagette. Because Ang was SURE that sis would not want her there, she'd ruin the evening. So we had to brainstorm about how to keep her away. Ok... well isn't it expected that the MIL and Mof bride (MOB) are there? All the one's I've been too. Wouldn't it be weird if MOB is there but MIL is not? I know sis wants MOB there.

Plus Ang was coming up with LIES that we'd tell MIL to keep her away. Like tell her that there is no stagette, we're just going home, or that we're just having a sleepover and then go out to a bar anyway. Yeah, and then Sis has to maintain that lie for her entire life. that'll be fun.

I asked Sis after I left the meeting and she was like "of course MIL should be there, yes she can be annoying, but it's not like it's just going to be the 2 of us or anything. It's better her there than anything awkward". Agreed. So now I have to come back to Ang and say, "yeah, sis doesn't care and would sooner have her come." Again. I had my suspicions when we were talking, and I should have just said it. (instead I said things like "well won't it be weird if... and are you sure she thinks this?...)

The thing I've learned is that some people do not catch on to the unspoken word. I love leaving the dotdotdot at the end of a sentence assuming the other people will catch it and nobody's feelings will be hurt and everyone is happy. But I've learned that sometimes I have to be honest and not nice.

Nic and I are pretty much resigned to have it at random person's house. But only the shower. Then it will be just like a more formal shower. Then we have to figure out the evening things. So far it's just go to a bar wearing matching t-shirts (GAG!) but they didn't really like my scavenger hunt idea, or just a lounge or a kareoke night or something. It's a bar and dancing. Oh well. I'll sit with the mom's and aunts.

I am going to try and get away from the matching shirts. We're not going to have a good guest list until people actually show up. Maybe we can just wear the same color. or have tiaras or something stupid. But I hate ugly huge t-shirts. especially in a bar. Can't we look classy?

Can't we do something fun or interesting?

People: send me your good stagette/shower ideas! Something to make my plans more fun. Or funny. The way things are headed it's going to end up with nasty scavenger hunt (like crotch shots and get condoms from strangers) (oh yeah, my scavenger hunt idea was not like that, it was fun, and with clues and stuff).

Is there a fun theme idea we can go with? (we might be doing a honeymoon thing which is fun, make it a luau. Grass skirt? Tropical drinks? Gifts are fun that way too.)


tash said...

If I had to have one, I would probably do a camping one where there were drinks and food you cook on a stick and a big campfire. Even though I'm not a camping type of gal, it sounds like a blast to me.

Bi0nicw0man said...

If they want matching t-shirts, then they should be cute white girl-cut t-shirts...then printed with iron-ons. Tell them you will gladly pick out the shirts!!

I've only been to a couple of stagettes, and at both of them we all wore our good bar clothes and feather boas. We made sure the brides had extra fluffy white ones and pretty tiaras so it was obvious they are the brides.