Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Let's try this shall we

I've always considered myself chunky. And always, I look at pictures of myself a few years ago and ask what was I thinking. Since I was probably 8 or something. It started as I matured faster than other girls my age. I was always taller (not any more) and therefore bigger than other kids. Hit puberty first. All that. Now I guess the excuse is that since I always saw myself as such, I let it become so. Maybe that's getting to pyschoanalysisy on it. Whatever.
I know that I wasn't overweight in high school. I looked good. I played volleyball competetively and was in rock solid shape. But I was very muscular. I was not the tall lanky girl you picture with volleyball. Picture a swimmer, that's me.
Of course univeristy came and so did a few pounds. I come home for my sister's grad after first year and those are my least favorite pictures of myself to date. But I was completely inactive. So I started biking and going to the gym once in awhile. Got to be a pretty steady 140 lbs. Of course that was aweful at the time but really fine.
Then I got married. Some how, before the wedding, without doing anything specific except thinking I wanted to look good, I lost about 10 lbs. I exercised a few more times a week, I'd always eaten healthy but just made more of a conscious effort to cut out snacks etc. The back of lace up dress was almost touching. I was the smallest I'd ever been at about 130lbs.
But after that of course I was/am married. And with that comes a husband who doesn't want to eat healthy and who I'd sooner spend time with than the gym. So that made my weight bump up. I was still going to the gym a fair amount as I was a grad student and my time was my own, so I got a new comfortable, 145 lbs. Last year we bought our first house in a bedroom community. Now I was driving to school instead of biking, or just staying at home period to save gas. Well the last one happened really gradually and I couldn't believe it when we bought a new scale and the number was a brand new one. 155 lbs. I know it's still not terrible, health wise and so on. But it puts me into an overweight BMI. I got diagnosed with high cholesterol as well which was a real wake up call. Sure I didn't look good in a bathing suit, deal with it. But now my health was paying? My husband hardly believes it. I'm constantly buying fat free this and light that and eating salads and veggies, how could that be me? Well I know how, because I ate a lot of healthy foods. Lots.
I read fitness magazines and online sites that tell you easy ways to cut 100 calories a day by switching to whole grain foods and light yogurt. And how you can increase your metabolism by weight training. Check, check and check. I already do these things. Always have. (my mom is a perpetual dieter so that's how I grew up). I need to only eat one serving of yogurt. And not follow it with fat free pudding and an apple and high fibre granola bars. So I'm going to try and be accountable. Write the numbers down. Put a goal on (cyber) paper. I have to try something and this seems like the next thing...

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