mini revalation about last revalation

Am i spelling revalation right? turns out no, it's an el. oh well. I'd sooner write anther 20 words about it than go back and change it. haha

So my mini revelation is this: it's TOM! OOOHhhh. THAT'S why I'm questioning everything and being all waffley. Happens whenever it sneaks up on me. However I do still think I had a good revelation about the overall calories. I need to cut these back ever so slightly.

Yesterday was a good day for this until the evening. Just because I ran out of ideas for things to bring for lunch (yesterday was 2 cheese strings, apple, orange, spinach salad with 2 tbsp of light dressing, 2 hard boiled eggs. breakfast was packet of oatmeal with vanilla soy milk). oh and a few almonds. At the end of the day, I had only eaten 1000 calories. Which is a lot less than usual. Supper, again planned by SIL, was extra lean burgers I bought (with cheese already melted on them.), I picked what looked like half a burger (the rest maybe fell into barbeque?). Loaded up on salad with squirts of ff italian (1 cal?). 2 onion rings which weren't good. So supper probably wasn't that bad. Again, fat content these days hasn't been idea though has it?

After supper I decided to make protein bars since I'm basically stuck for protein snacks that aren't high fat. So far I either use cheese string (4 g fat each) or almonds (can't remember, but at least this is good fat, but not very satisfying since serving is so small). I should start eating yogurt again, i get the kind with splenda and fat free so cals and fat are fine. Anyway, now I have some protein bars, here's how I made them:

3 cups oats, ground up in a blender. 8 (?) scoops protein powder, chocolate. 1 package jello pudding mix (supposed to be sugar free but I didn't have it, however whole package was 400 calories including milk I think, and I divided this into approximately 16 bars). Then 2 cups of skim milk. Mix all together (trust me there is enough liquid, it doesn't seem like it but there is, keep mixing) and then backed for like 15 minutes. I cooked it too long and it stuck to my dish. it doesn't ever get completely dry, still a bit gooey is good. I cut and wrapped mine and put them in the freezer. However while doing so I also ate probably 3 bars worth. Plus a banana during LOST. My diet coke plan (1 whole Litre for tv night!) wasn't enough, guess that's cause my whole day was less cals and I was making up for it. Plus it's TOM and I had a whole batch of what looked like brownies in front of me (doesn't taste the same, though if you add some chocolate chips, it would be really really good.) So yesterday was slightly bad in the end, from what could have been pretty good. I will count it as a cheat. So now I only have 2 left for the weekend.

I will not be taking one today however - I just feel it. I tried my new plan of stretching out breakfast. Worked like a charm. I think I made a slightly higher cal breakfast than typical. I made a large protein shake with natural peanut butter and chocolate protein, vanilla soy milk (that's why it was higher, I bought it because it turns out, that's how I like my oatmeal), and a banana. I'm estimating 500 calories. I drank a few sips on my way to work, by about 9:00 it was 1/3 gone. Slowed down the drinking. Then at 10:00 (snack time) started drinking it again and it was gone by 10:30. Completely satisfied until noon! Plus it's really yummy and I threw in some benefibre and would have thrown in some flax seed but i'm out. mm mmm.

Lunch was spinach with 70 cals worth of mandarin dressing and 2 hard boiled eggs. Now an apple. Munch on carrots until 3:15. When I'll have an orange and a protein cake (what I made). I brought a cheese since I forgot my plan, but I WILL NOT EAT IT! done. I have ANOTHER apple in case I find myself starving. Might eat it anyway at around 5:00 since we won't eat supper until 7:30 or so.

Gonna throw something big out there folks. I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE DESSERT TONIGHT!!!! I promise. (note - I know it's ok to have dessert sometimes, it's good to treat yourself so you don't feel deprived. however, I am doing a thing here to prove to myself I can do it, it's all a head game. Besides, I'm saving my treats up for later.) We've got a banquet sort of thing to go to. I dont' know what the food served will be. I'm gonna avoid the bun (assuming I like anything else) fill up on veggies and meat. They're usually my favorite part anyway, like some kind of roast turkey or something? And the cooked veggies are always my favorite, I know it's weird. I'm gonna bring some gum and pop that as soon as I'm done eating.

Here's the trick I'm gonna play to make myself comply: we're going to be there with this friend of mine who is slightly overweight, maybe like 30 lbs over a healthy BMI? Anyway, she's always talking about how she wants to lose weight but then does things completely stupidly to lose weight. Like have nothing but tea and lettuce until 4:00 then go out to the bar and have 4 beers and a plate of ribs and wings and fries. Duh. Plus she only walks for exercise. To me, doing something sweaty is the easiest thing you can do to lose weight, but she walks on her treadmill for an hour, like twice a week. Probably on her cell phone while she does it. I don't call that trying very hard. (probably offended some of you, whatevs).

Anyway, she's gonna be there, and I'm gonna be a total bitch and all catty and stuff and just be the "oh I'm so full after that plate of carrots I couldn't possibly eat dessert!" type person. YES it's shallow and mean, but frankly it makes me feel better to eat better than somebody else. The same as how it makes me feel better to try clothes on that are smaller than her. It would be a different story if she was doing smart things to lose weight, and keeping her motivation for more than 2 days. (and I HAVE tried to help her do things the right way, she just doesn't listen.) I know this makes me a mean girl but that's cool. I never once claimed I was sweet. ;)

Then this weekend I'm gonna bring home a couple of my protein brownie things. Plus my bag of almonds that is always in my purse. Maybe some apples since you can never be sure of the selection back home. Easy enough. PLUS plus, I'm planning on keeping nice and busy and away from food as much as possible. I'm bringing fabric home to sew a baby dress for my niece for a shower present. and my dog who will need to be tired out sufficiently to not be a nussance so a long run is in order.

Oh let me tell you about my non-swim yesterday. I got to the gym (pool's same place) got changed, got my swim cap on, remembered to grab a towel. Go to the pool. Turns out the schedule changed May 1st. Now there's no lane swim time after work. I either have to come early in the morning before work, or drive back into the city after 8:00. Since I only swim once/week I've only got 4 more swims until my big tri. (little one next weekend!) I think I should be able to start getting up early and doing am workouts soon. At least once a week. maybe twice. pumped about it actually!

anyway, so I didn't do anything yesterday because by the time I got home it was supper then tv night. (I feel so confused with LOST, anybody else?)

so since today is supposed to be the only off day, I'll just do a workout today! problem solved. Weather's nice so I'll do a jog with Daisy. I know nothing about running training (tempo runs? and we're in saskatchewan so hills aren't realistic) and I already do intervals with TT, I'll just try and do a "fastish" run. Just 30 minutes. not intervals. Not slow and steady. whatever the other is.

ok. So I know I'm counting a lot of things as successes when they really weren't at all what I planned. But as some of you pointed out, I'm being REALLY successful at rolling with what life gives me and adapting on the fly. So that's what I'm counting as success this week. Hopefully next week will be much more between the lines.

have a good weekend folks!