I always do this...

Hubby remembers better than I do, but I always do this. Freak out and stress (for 1 night only) right before the big thing, final or evaluation or presentation. Then it all works out. There has been nothing in my life really that hasn't worked out well. Obviously I've failed tests (maybe? at least had a hard time during them) and bombed presentations and stuff, but it's all no big deal. And most of the time I ace the test, and like this rock the evaluation. Hurray!

I'm way pleased with my raise. The bonus I was expecting about that much honestly. Well not necessarily given today's economic situation. But before that all happened then absolutely. Even though we're in Canada (where it's not as badly hit as the US) and in Saskatchewan (where we're not remotely hit at all yet) our company still may be affected. We do a lot of consulting with mine companies. And the price of nearly all commodities is down right now (oil and gas? check, copper? check, nickel? check. etc etc). but so far only one company has asked us to consider reducing our rates. Most of the work we do is sort of required (dealing with mine decommissioning, based on gov regulations and environmental things they pretty much need to hire us). But it's still sort of scary to talk to the boss about it and he describes himself as "cautiously optimistic". I didn't realize we even had to notice it.

Mostly it was the boss talking in the evaluation (it always is, even my interview with the company I hardly spoke). and they mostly talked about all the things I do well and my big accomplishments. I think I had a pretty good year this year for it, mostly because I started out so poorly. I had a couple talkings to back in January (I was treating it as basically a summer student part time job, no responsibilities, just doing tasks that were assigned etc.). So my improvement has been tremendous even if I'm not at a particularly great place now (not saying I'm not, but I've got room to grow).

Anyway, I think in my stressing this morning I was really stressing about my defense. I can't believe it's tomorrow. I feel way under prepared now that the evaluation is done. I need to read my thesis a few times (200 pages and it's super boring plus hard to read something you wrote because you're like "I know that all ready" and just skim it). Plus I have to definately practice my presentation a few times. I haven't really run through it dress rehearsal style. It's not until 2:00 tomorrow so I'm going to have all morning freaking out. Hopefully I distract myself a little bit. Though I do need that time to prepare more.

Plus now I feel guilty for procrastinating on it. Oh well. Nothing I can do about that. Just use the next 24 hours well.