Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Theory of relativity

Well I must thank you for your comments. They are always great and they always leave me wanting to talk about something else. In this case, the theory of relativity.
Who wishes they could have their high school/college body back? Who thought during those years that they were fat though? That's relativity baby. I was always bigger than the other girls in my class, therefore, fat. However I hit puberty much earlier, and also, some of the girls from school were just tiny little things. Like the skinny shoulder kind. The ones who could wear those plastic bangle bracelets and were scared they'd fall off. So compared to them yeah, I was. And when I hung out with my sister. Pictures of us waist up, I'm huge. Waist down, you don't know who's who (we share pants). So she thinks she's got a big butt. And relative to the rest of her body, sure. (when you wear size small tops and size 9 pants, big difference) But for me, with the same size butt, I think I've got a small butt. (size 9 pants, and size large tops). When you're 25 and your friends are all in the bar scene and fashion scene and bikini wearing sun-tanning scene and you weight 146 lbs, you are the odd man out. I realize compared to a lot of people who have weight to lose, your goals are 145 or something. I'm not saying that you will be fat when you have reached your goal! I'm not even saying that my before is fat. I'm saying that I'm bigger than I want to be. I am also on the unhealthy side of BMI, and I have high cholesterol. (at least before I started) That's not where I wanna be. To be honest, my main motivation is complete vanity. I wanna be the sexy girl in the bikini. Just for a little while. I wanna get my wave chasing (in Saskatchewan? ha!), sun tanning (with 45 sunscreen), get checked out -ing, in before I am too old (probably should have been done in the teen years, and no I'm not trying to call any of you old!). I got married young to my high school sweetheart so I've sort of felt like an old married woman since I was 16! I guess it isn't fair now because I'm comparing myself to 18 year olds who I wanna be, but damn it, why not! I just want to try it out for a little while, then I'm ready to cut my long hair and have babies. Not to mention the cholesterol, which was a slap in the face. 25 years old, with a preventable thing like that. I felt like that was the absolute proof that things were getting out of hand.
Now to those of you who are trying to lose a lot more than me: That's awesome! I'm not saying you're disgusting or I can't believe you let yourself get like that or anything. I'm trying to get to a place for me. Be honest with me, if you could have started losing when you weighed 155, wouldn't you have? I'm the worst person for hating the skinny girls just because they're skinny. But I know I shouldn't. I'm working at it just like the rest of you. I apologize if I've offended anyone, I take this Internet anonymity thing a bit far sometimes. I swear I'm a nice person! :)
It's all relative, I know. I'm never going to be smaller than a size 6. My bones probably are a size 6. Plus, for me, with my body (muscles, organs whatever), it's not possible, nor do I want it. But for some of you, your max is a 6 and you want to be a 2. For you, a 6 is big. Relativity. Some of you want to get down to a 10. That's the smallest your body will do. That's good then! It's all relative. You know yourselves better than I do, and I know myself. (Lets not even start talking about where we buy our respective 6s and 10s because that makes all the difference in the world.) That, and the fact that our organs and bones and muscles do weigh different amounts means we shouldn't compare weights either. Even if I think somebody's goal is too low or high doesn't mean anything. If they had my body it might be low or high. They know their body, I'm gonna let them set their own goals. I know mine, and I think I set my goals accordingly.
This wasn't meant to get anyone down. I need to remember these things myself! like I said, I always hate the skinny girl so if anybody's hating me, I'm flattered!


Kitty said...

I so hear you. My ideal weight is around 48 kilos and everyone rolls their eyes at me and mutters about eating disorders and air brushing in magazines. Um HELLO!!! I'm 5 foot 1 and I have a tiny frame. My ideal weight for my height is 48 to 58 depending on frame. I'm 60 right now - which is medically FAT. I get offended when people tell me to be 'happy' at this weight because its the weight they want to be. I'm not happy with 12 kilos of beef hanging off me! That is about 26 pounds by the way!

Colette said...

haha I think one of my legs weighs 140 lbs...LOL Oh well if I lay it on a guy he can't get up and run away...right? haha

Stick to your plan and tell anyone who says anything " I might be fat, but your ugly and I can ALWAYS lose weight"...LOL They won't mess with ya again after that. ;-)

Candace said...

From Dizzydazey "I don't want to sound like i'm bragging but I already run 5k." LOL, Total bragger. I can't WAIT until I can do that! Your comments crack me up. You're such a good motivation.

Tigerlilly said...

You are too funny. First of all... dont apologize for what you write on your blog. We all write what we need to, that is why we started our blogs in the first place right? Second, relativity sucks!! I see pictures of me in high school and say..'I wish I was THAT fat again'..LOL. I was a size 4/6 in high school and I though I was fat, mostly because I had been extra blessed in the chest area and did not realize what a good thing that was!! LOL

You are doing a really good thing losing the weight now before it gets out of hand. For those of us who have more to lose, our goals are 'reasonable'. For example, for me to say I want to weigh 120, which is healthy for my height, would seem impossible for me to reach RIGHT NOW... but 145/155 seems doable right now. see what I mean?

Anyway.. now that I've taken up all your comment space!! Stay strong, find your focus.. and kick some ass!!

dizzydazey said...

You crack me up, too. I love your honesty and spunk, and you've never offended me! As much as we have each other's backs it is a personal journey and my goal has changed at least 3 times in the past month.

There's a website on someone's blog about what is an appropriate weight for your frame... I'm going to try to find it. It gives a good reference to where you goal should be. (and if you're so packed full of muscle that you can't reach their range, I think you're going to realize it when you can't walk through a door without turning sideways because your guns are so huge...) :o)