back on the wagon

So I'm feel pretty good starting now. I had a few too many treats on the weekend. I should have sat down with a big tub of ice cream and chocolate or something then I would have felt satisfied, instead I had a little bite here and a lick there and ate fast food just because we were there, instead of building it up and looking forward to it. But everything was mostly little tastes and stuff. For example, we had our neighbours over on saturday for a fire, I ate a hotdog and a salad. then for dessert we made smores and I had 2 smores and about 4 other pieces of chocolate. So less than a chocolate bar, but still more than I needed.

Earlier saturday I went out and met with my newly pregnant friend from out of town and we sat on a patio and enjoyed our virgin drinks and lunch. I ordered a spinach, almond and cranberry salad with this mango dressing. It was awesome and felt so healthy. No sneaky cheese or croutons to up the cals. I don't know about the dressing though, but it wasn't horrible. My friend also had a salad with a side of sweet potato fries. I know sweet potato fries are better than regular fries, but in a restaurant, where they deep fry it and everything, there's really no justification right? I only had a couple anyway.

Yesterday I slept in until noon. I NEVER DO THAT! but it was cloudy and rainy so the sun didn't wake me up and the dog was happy sleeping too. We went to Costco and hubby wanted A&W, I had just eaten breakfast and wasn't really gonna get anything, just a "snack" but they don't have many options there (no fruit and yogurt parfaits or "healthy" options). So I decided the one burger looked good and ordered it, hubby had gotten a deal that came with fries, but he wanted onion rings, so we had both. I was only nibbling on fries and I look and they're half gone. Boo me! I know fries are like the worst things ever (not just calorie and fat wise, but deep fried in old oil and nasty). But I can't help it. They weren't that good either. BOO!

Supper I did right though, I had a big spinach salad with strawberries and cucumbers, and a marinated chicken breast cooked on the barbeque. Yummy, and healthy. And of course I felt better about myself also.

At Costco, hubby was buying what I consider frivolties (a new wetsuit, only $38 or something, but we don't have a boat and we've never gone to a lake ourselves, and guitar hero Aerosmith, his favorite band, but we never play rockband and we have it...) So I decided to do some retaliation shopping. Dumbest thing ever, because if we can't afford hubby shopping like that, me doing it as well is just going to worsen the problem, not fix it. (though we can afford it, I just have different priorites for money) So I bought a new bright pink fake lulu coat. It's my 5th one (blue, green, black, white and now pink). I wear them basically every day and now I can wear a different one to work each day for a week. Plus I bought the Abs Oxygen magazine. Just for motivational pictures and stuff. I'm not going to do the workouts, I've got my TT for that. PLUS I bought the Champions Body for Life book. Basically it's an updated Body for Life with lots and lots of success stories and hints and advice from successful BFLers. It's good so far. just interesting stories, so far nothing I haven't heard before (eat 6 times a day, workout for just 4 hours a week, but intensely). they haven't even given me the food and workout guidelines yet and I'm in like chapter 4, so far just how to deal with restaurants and holidays and find your motivation and whatever. There are some amazing before and afters in there though (I think you can see a lot at bodyforlife.com too, it made me feel like I was still a before picture, nowhere near the after, which is motivating). And these people did all this in 12 weeks. I have 12 weeks! That would be right before SILs wedding. totally perfect. So when I'm done the book I'll let you know if I'm gonna go that route or not. As I don't really know what it is yet I don't wanna say. (I don't think it's crazy like Atkins or anything, but who knows)

So yesterday hubby watched a couple movies and I read my book then did my strength workout. I was gonna go for a run, but he decided he wanted to come so we just walked instead. It was really nice. I knew he was trying for me.

That didn't mean we didn't have a big blowup at bedtime though. I asked if there was any time we could go on a trip this summer since it was filling up so fast. Plus since hopefully by next summer I'll either be really pregnant or have a baby so this is sort of our last year to do the things you have to do before kids (like a trip to europe, though this isn't happening. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact I will likely never go...) Anyway, I proposed just a trip to the mountains, for us that's like a 10 hour drive one way. So yes, far, and yes expensive with gas now. But it's not europe expensive. And I've been wanting to go for like 5 years. Hubby doesn't think he'll like it, he thinks he'll get bored. He's not one for just going for a hike or reading a book. If we're camping he's gonna want to have a boat and a lake and enough people for beach volleyball. And since hubby hasn't been taking his anti-depressants (which aren't so much for depression, rather his OCD and mood swings) he blew up at me and we were yelling and I was crying. I hate fights like that, we haven't really had one since hubby's been on his pills. But he doesn't fight "properly" and I had no idea what we were fighting about and it was just taking jabs at each other. Hate it. But once he blows up he feels better and we had a rational discussion afterwards. He felt like I was being too demanding, because he was super good and spent time with me, and watched movies with me and went for a walk with me, (which is what my previous requests had been) and then since I got that he expected me to be happy, but instead I came off like, "well I got that, now I need to complain about something else so let's go on a trip". Anyway, it all got worked out that I don't really care where we go, I just want to have a holiday, just him and I (which we haven't done since our honeymoon 4 years ago, and yes he complained about it just being the 2 of us, how he'd get bored and couldn't we go with other people or go somewhere closer and cheaper than mexico...) So he agreed to take a week off in August if his boss will let him and we can go for a holiday somewhere for half of it. with at least 3 days at home to get some stuff done, like the basement and yard and stuff. So I think I'm still gonna push for the mountains, because I really want to go to the waterfalls and stuff there, and I know he'd love all the elk and deer everywhere. But maybe make a big loop out of it, including edmonton for a day so we can visit friends and then calgary on the way home for the zoo or something. But that makes the gas even more money so we'll see. It may just be camping at a lake nearby. Gotta remember we've got the dog... (any advice on taking a dog to Banff or Jasper or just camping is welcome! or we could leave her at home in a kennel...thoughts?)

So even though we're both happier now that things are worked out, I still have dry eyes and a puffy face. Ugh. hydrate hydrate hydrate...

Anyway, today will be a good day. Nothing to do really a work, gonna do a bit more reading for my thesis and some body for life stuff online. And maybe trip planning! Then tonight, it's raining all day, so I kept Daisy inside, so even though it's gross out, better take her for a run or she'll be crazy. Maybe help hubby with some of his to do list so he can de-stress.