Tuesday, July 29, 2008

hugs and kisses

Thanks to all my lovely blog readers for sticking up for me yesterday. You're so sweet. If you're not a lovely reader, stop reading.

So the hub and I made up last night. He got off work early and was sleeping on the couch when I got home. We made up in the way where you just want to be done fighting but you don't really resolve the initial argument. Which isn't so bad in this case, because the initial argument was a drunken one so didn't make a lot of sense in the first place. I did reiterate that I didn't like the way he argues, with names and being mean. And he pointed out that it was my mistake to try and talk about anything when he was drunk to begin with. I think neither of us is completely happy with it but at least it's over and we can hug again. (there was a huge thunderstorm with hail and everything 2 nights ago when we were fighting and we both agreed it was tough to not be able to snuggle during it)

Well so immediately after making up it was like nothing had ever happened. They were short ball players so I played with hubby's team. That took up the whole evening (6:30 to 10:00). I'm not sure if I mentioned before but I really don't like playing slow pitch. I'm scared of the ball and scared of making a mistake. It's not that I'm no good, I'm better than some of the girls on the team. That's why they're always nagging me to join the team. But I just don't feel comfortable, that's about the most stressed I ever feel. However I don't want them to take an out or forfeit just because they're short a girl, so I played. I only got out once batting, home every other time. And I caught a fly ball (I was playing rover, so out in field) even though a dude crashed into me. But it was my fault for not calling it. (this was just after another dude crashed into me and we both never caught the ball, I dont' want to call it because I dont WANT to catch it!)

Anyway, so I'm being pressured into playing again but don't want to. Plus it takes up so much time and isn't really exercise or anything. Oh well. But that means I didn't get any scrapbooking done like I was supposed to, and my house is still a mess and I have to do laundry and start packing for all my trips! eek!

So today is gym for a quick total body weights. Then home and to work! Have I mentioned my long weekend plans include a bikini? (we're camping and hubby is playing ball. Again, I'm just looking good and trying not to eat like an asshole) I've also been informed that I can't ruin this weekend by being myself (meaning complaining about not having fun, being bored, demanding attention or complaining about hubby's friends. I'm to keep that to myself). I plan on definately going for a couple jogs with Daisy to occupy myself.

Anyway, lots of work to do before next week!


Sara said...

As a fellow rager (fellow to your hubby not you!) it is really hard to not call names. One thing that has helped immensely though is that I've realized that I'm a rager so the majority of the time I'm good. The worst thing about being a rager is teaching your husband how to rage!!! But again we both have our moments but made a commitment to straighten our rage out b/c I learned to rage from my father and I do not want my kids to learn it from us (since Justin as shown how good I can teach it!).

But it is something he will probably have to realize himself b/c you bringing it up will probably only make him rage. And going on what he rages about, it will be more of him thinking oh Randi thinks she perfect and thinks I suck sort of feelings. How I realized my was reading a book - the Celestine Prophecy. A fictional book based on synchroncity. It taught me that I learned to take energy from people through intimidation (aka rage from my father) and aloofness (through my mom). My dad was a yeller and my mother was a "you fucking asshole" whispered so he wouldn't hear. I'm a "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE" - great combo!! But seriously awareness of this has taught me so much.

Sorry not really about the post but just wanted to share.

tash said...

I hate playing ball too - I am also afraid of the ball :( And if you want to see some agressive males, just picture lawyers playing softball. Someone on our team insures someone else on our team every game (that's right - there is this jerk that hurts his own team members, always girls, either by throwing the ball way too hard - at someone's feet - or by pushing them out of the way/trampling them to get a ball).

Candace MacPherson said...

So glad you're in the bikini this summer. Enjoy it before those abs are destroyed and stretched beyond all recognition - not that I'm deterring your from the fall TTC

MizFit said...

came with a comment.
read candaces.


xo xo,