BFL!

Thanks for the excitement Angie! You made me really excited too! I realized I do need to figure some stuff out about it though. I'm sure the way I'm eating wasn't exactly BFL though I can't quite find the difference yet. Well I guess breakfast, gonna have to say goodbye to my honey nut cheerios. (though those were only sometimes treats anyway). I'm gonna up my egg eating. I like them, they're quick.

I didn't see a big list of fruit on the acceptable foods guide. Though I can't imagine they are "unauthorized" (seriously that's what the bad food is called, seems so cultlike.) The only thing that might be questionable is bananas but I'm not cutting out my favorite fruit! I think that by just eating the 6 meals a day, and the proper serving size thing should make it so it doesn't matter.

Wanna know what my goal is? Get to a size 5/6. Currently I’m between 7 and 9, depending on the store.

One thing they emphasize which may sound totally crazy to us all while we’re in the love ourselves as we are era: find a motivating emotion. Like embarrassment or something. Like focus on how bad you feel when you’re “fat”. By remembering that, you’ll stay motivated. So whatever it is you’re unhappy with right now about your body, take a picture of it and put it on the fridge or whatever and look at it every day. For me, it’s my belly. I can grab handfuls of my belly all the time, even though I’m relatively lean. Just rolls and rolls. If anybody else ever grabbed my belly and felt those, I would be SO embarrassed! Even hubby doing it really bothers me. Another motivating emotion for me would be competition, my SIL has lost a lot of weight at Curves. My other SIL has never been bigger than a size 4 in her life and (in my opinion) is always considered a “hottie” just because she’s small and blond, even though I don’t think her face is very pretty. Same thing with my sister. She’s always the hot one (as she’s skinny with long legs, long hair). I have never been the “hot” one. Even in my group of friends, one got really skinny (doing nothing but not eating, unhealthy but not eating disorder, just too busy to cook anything but rice), another has always been really lean and again “hot” and popular. I’m not the “fat” friend but I can’t really share clothes with anybody. In my other little group of friends, even the girl who is much bigger than me, seems like the hot one, blond, pretty, very girly and popular. I’m just there. I would LOVE to be the hot one, in ALL those groups! I think I need to post some pictures of me with those girls around. This really DOES make me feel motivated, but when I don’t see them for a long time, I forget how lean they are, or how I feel like the sidekick next to the superhero when I’m around them. I wanna be the leading lady, not the best friend.

I did think of another small challenge that I’ll face this week. Thursday I’m going out for “dessert” with my girlfriends to celebrate one getting engaged. If we were just going out to a restaurant or for drinks it would be easier, I could order a salad and chicken or just drink diet coke (though I think this isn’t supposed to be allowed either). But if I just get a water when we’re out for dessert it will look a bit more strange. I think I may have to address what I’m doing. Yes I’m on a “diet”. Don’t feel bad eating your cakes in front of me. I’ll just have a protein bar.

Which makes me think. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a group of friends interested in the same fitness/healthy thing as me? I heard this thing about surrounding yourself with people who have traits you want. If you want to be rich, get rich friends, then you can talk about making money. If you want a better relationship, get a really happy couple friend. If you want to be lean and fit, get lean and fit friends. I’d love to just once a month or week get together for a fun exercise date thing. Not my every day workouts because I think I wouldn’t get as much accomplished with a big group. But a fun, let’s go for a walk, do a weight circuit, meet at the gym, take a step class. Then have a supper after but it’s all healthy or something. I wonder if some of my friends would be up for this if I organized it. Sort of like a splurge club or a ladies group, but with a health focus. We could try different classes and stuff…I’m getting so excited for this and it probably won’t happen. We’ll see. I’ll ask a few girls…

Too bad none of YOU lived in Saskatchewan.

If you’re wondering why I’m just blabbing on and on, the internet’s down here at work (I’m doing this in word and then copying it over) so I can’t really do anything else…