I'm no Barbie...

But I am a Simpson's! Pretty cool huh? Doesn't really look like me, but the idea's there.

i'm so mean

I know other people think this and it's not just me. I LOVE it when I see somebody who used to be so popular or cool or too good for me or something gets fat, not like unhealthy, but I just love when they're bigger than me. Well I saw somebody from high school who I always felt that they felt so superiour. Well she is LARGE! I was secretly so happy when I saw that. I know that's bad and mean and everything but you do it too so don't act superiour!



So here are a couple pictures from the wedding. This first one is the briday and me, completely unflattering picture of me but it's probably more realistic than a flattering one. (you're telling me that there's not 2 chins there? get your eyes checked)

and here's me and all the girls, I picked the one where I look good and everyone else looks like junk. hehe. (left to right is A, the one who's husband is a prude (she's pregnant), the bride who is fun all of the time, and T who is fun without A)

And finally here's one of me and my hubby. Aww...

We never have pictures together! And we forgot at the wedding so I took this when we got back to the room. hehe!

So that friend T? the opposite thing about getting fat happened with her. She got skinny. She used to be a little bit bigger. I'm gonna guess a size 12? gradually through later university years she dropped pounds. She wasn't exercising, just stopped eating basically. She didn't like cooking for herself so she's just eat like a couple pieces of cheese and toast or something for supper all the time. I don't really know, just got skinny somehow! Now I'd say she's a size 6-ish. She's tall so hard to say. But she's got a good body now. bikini worthy. And I don't know if it's me or her or what, but we used to get along better. I just attributed it to moving appart, getting our respective men in our lives and being out of school and busy. But since I know my attitude with skinny people, I wonder if I'm acting different around her now. You know how you can relate to people who you assume are in the same "class" as you? Or how you act with somebody of a lower "class". I sound so mean again. But somebody who is shy or reserved and akward around people you start acting more confident and like the popular person? And around somebody "popular" you start acting like a more reserved person? I guess I attribute popular to outgoing and skinny. Maybe because that's what I was jealous of growing up. Hmmm...really breaking down barriers here Randi. *snort* get over yourself.

Hey, here's something a little more fun that more people might relate to. Did you ever notice when you're losing weight that your fat becomes softer? I feel like my arm flab is less dense than it used to be. same with belly-pudge. fluffier, not as lardy. which seems like progress, except now it feels like fat. Before you could trick yourself that it was muscle or organs or something. but now it's fatty. I guess that means just keep working at it and burn it all off of there! Anybody else get this or is it just me?

Well that's over...

Yeah it's over in a good and bad way. It was really fun and I love weekends and now it's Monday, so boo it's over. But damn that was a rough splurgey weekend so thank god that's over.
Eating on weekend road trips. what can I say. Friday we went into town to go minigolfing. Had some fast food on the way in, a burger no bacon. then mini golfed. then went for ice cream. I don't like ice cream so I had my fries then. then saturday finished cleaning the house for SIL moving in. Hit the road, went shopping first. Hubby had fast food but I never (well a couple bites). Then we were off. Listened to the awesome Rider game on the ride while hubby slept. Got in went to the wedding (hot!), teared up. Didn't have time to eat before so I just had a couple granola bars (before and after church). thought I was being smart. But then found out there was all sorts of food at the reception (not supper but midnight lunch all night). So I also pigged out on fruit. Had a couple pieces of cake. Then a plate of salads and a bun. Hmmm...I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought. It felt like I completely pigged out on terrible stuff. But 1 square and 1/2 piece of wedding cake isn't so bad. the rest was healthy. Had about 2 drinks. Didn't dance much so no bonus. That's another story. I've got this group of friends from university. I get along super good with B (the bride) all the time, A without her husband, and T without A (got that?). Plus hubby really doesn't like A's husband (he's sort of a really straight laced, intellectual, superior type guy. Let's put it this way, he's in a jazz band...) And my hubby has no post secondary ed so he sorta feels out of place already around my university friends. My girls alone are awesome. But with the guys I just can't really be myself and none of us act like we do alone. So it was weird. And the bride of course was busy so I couldn't just visit her all night. So you know when they play I'm Too Sexy and all the girls strip the groom (maybe that's just around here though...) well the other girls wouldn't get up with me to do it so I just watched. They did it at my wedding to my hubby! but A's hubby didn't want that to happen at his wedding, so now everybody's against it. Honestly I haven't been to a wedding that I loved since mine 3 years ago! (I guess that's a high standard though)
Anyway, went back to our sleazy hotel (I booked late) slept. In the AM had another granola bar. Hit the road to the lake where they were having another reception brunch. Pigged out on pancakes, and eggs and cake there. That's for sure. Went home and didn't want to turn the oven on so ordered chinese. I only had 1 plate full and didn't bring leftovers today so hopefully hubby and SIL can finish that off. I guess it wasn't sooo bad. But I wasn't eating fruit like I usually do, and pretty much nothing but carbs so it felt bad. Then the scale was completely cruel this AM. But went for a run with Daisy, and when I got back it was better. I guess that goes to show you that you can't put too much weight (haha) into those numbers! If you're leaning forward too much or something it goes up! So tonight I'm hoping to do a video, it's way too hot to go outside. I just bought a window air conditioner at noon so that might help inside. Elk burgers for supper.
I'm totally doing crap on this challenge. I think my fast food weekend has already disqualified me. Not to mention what it's done to the scale. But I'm not going to throw in the towel. I'm going to do a new exercise tonight, and I've been back on eating fresh all day. Completely going nuts on the water too. I'm working on my 4th litre and it's only 2:30. Making up for the weekend I guess. (I'm honestly that thirsty, I'm not forcing it down or anything!)
So I went to Costco last week and bought myself a new fake lululemon outfit. Well pants and coat. That's going to be my reward in place of the movie I think. Nothign I wanna see anyway. Plus this way when I go to buy my real lululemon I'll probably only need a shirt which is good since it's so expensive. I just wish I could move a little closer to that next minigoal instead of stalling at this one. I feel like the key is exercise but I'm just having a hard time when it's soo hot. Maybe i'll have to find a gym to go to for a week or two. It would be fun to use a treadmill and other machines again. I can't wait for Sept when my class starts again!
Well I'll make some minigoals for this week as I've got a long weekend with potential for bathing suits:
1. workout before work EVERY DAY! It's cooler, plus I feel pretty cool being able to say I do that.
2. Step it up with weights. I just have been doing my circuit and am huffing so I think I'm tired. But I don't know if my muscles are tired. I'm going to slow it down a little bit, not as important to do 3 sets, but just make sure I feel the burn!
3. Limit all lunch snacks to fruit. One "meal" sorta thing and then fruit is all that I pack. I've got nuts here for emergency protein.
4. Suppers. Keep same size as lunches. Just because I grew up with a full plate with a meat a side and a veggie doesn't mean it's the right way to eat! If it goes in a bun you don't need potatoes! I think what I'm saying is cut out the sides. Eat the meat and the veggies. Just for this week that's all. Dessert is only fruit.

Yipee! Friday!

So I am really excited for it to be friday. I'm doing something here at work that I don't really know how to do. Yes it's a learning exercise, but I never know when it's ok for me to get help, because the help I need is sit beside me and walk me through it. so I blog...
So the scale was less kind to me today. But I think I'm ok with that, as another informal measurement was taken of the old belly button and it appeared to be down significantly. (maybe I don't know how to read a tape? because we're talking significantly.) Maybe I'll do a Formal measuring tomorrow am. Cause if the scale's not talking, maybe the tape will.
So yesterday was a strange day. Off routine will get you every time. Hubby had to work 11 hours yesterday so I brought him a snack at supper time. Timbits and an Iced Cap. I only got 10 Timbits (which are donut holes for the outta towners) and a small chocolate milk Iced Cap (which has 1% choc milk instead of cream). But I didn't have supper and when I got to his work I was the one eating all the Timbits! Probably had 4, and about 1/3 of a small iced cap. So there goes the eating fresh and unprocessed thing for this week. Then when hubby came home he brought A&W teen burger, which was 2 for $6 so he brought me one. I did not need to eat another supper at 9:30 at night. But I had half of it. Small victory on not eating a whole anything I suppose. small.
But was sweatin' away cleaning out the spare room which is only about 1/2 done. It was my scrapbook/craft room. I know, I'm an old lady. But I haven't used it all summer so it was fine to take everything downstairs. But it was soo messy and disorganized so I had to do some of that first. Wasn't finished but stopped anyway to do my weights. yay me. I was gonna say screw it because something came up. But I made me a priority and did it. YAY! again, hate those back flies. and hip raises sucked this time too.
already went for my HIIT this morning. It ends up being just a jog with some intervals but the attempt is there. Probably minigolfing with hubby tonight. Then I'm gonna try and get a bonus weight thing in tomorrow before we leave for the wedding. Just the look-good-in-a-dress exercises.
So I feel like this post was completely boring but I really can't think of anything exciting to say. Sorry y'all. Wish me luck on eating well this weekend!

I had to get a new post quick!

I had to put something else up right away because I was staring at my nekidness every time I came by here. Very scary to have on your screen when you're at work!
So I got some big news last night. My SIL is going to move in with us for a month or so. She was living with her sister but they were having to many issues (they've got 2 ferrets, 2 cats, and a snake. all in a skinny little townhouse. Not to mention a brother in law that blows up at her from leaving the window open by accident). So hopefully we don't get caught in a family feud but I'm sort of excited about it. Hubby is often gone, working late, at the bar, playing ball. When he is home, he tend to keep working in the garage, in the office, cleaning the basement etc. Our relationship sounds so pathetic and sometimes it is. We never really talk. But we're both really independant people who like our own space so for the most part it's good (except when you get those pesky womanly needy times). But now there will be somebody else in the house that I can talk to (I don't speak all day at work so I'm quite chatty at night. My poor puppy and I have conversations...) She and I get along pretty good, sometimes I roll my eyes at her, she's only 20 yo (and I'm so mature at 25 ;) ) so she still does the bar stuff and the waste money on brand name clothes (that she looks amazing in of course, she's like a size 2). It'll be nice to get a few more dollars in the bank too. We'll probably charge $250 only. She only gets a room (and not completely cleaned out at that) and we don't have cable or a dish or AC etc so our bills aren't very big. We don't have a parking spot for her. Plus anything we get is all bonus, how much Tide could she use? But she's probably moving in already on the weekend. So tonight (and last night) are all about cleaning out the spare room and cleaning up the house. So I didn't get my video in last night, did get the run though. Oh and I gotta tell you about this. I PASSED people! I was following them for a long while, but Daisy was pulling so we were catching up a little bit. It was a couple and the girl was wearing Lululemon (the little spaghetti strap tank top that you can't possibly wear a sports bra with so how the hell does that seem sporty?) and I was secretly hating her, but then we just kept getting closer and then passed them. We chatted as I moved past and they said they wished they had a dog to keep pace for them. Yeah right! I'm dragging her most of the time! So that was pretty cool. Since I've been running outside I really have no idea how fast I'm going, I don't know how far I'm going or anything. So I guess I'm doing a pretty good pace! Yay!
Anyway, got the run in and then still had to make supper. I was making a veggie stir-fry which is usually quick and very healthy (only chicken broth and soya sauce, chicken and veggies cooked in a spray) but that's when my SIL called and then I had to call my hubby and then my mom. Plus I wasn't even hungry. So only ate a little bit, probably half of usual serving. And not until 7:00, so after that was dishes and cleaning and stuff. This morning I walked to dog. I might have had time to do a video this am but then what about Daisy. So I'll try and get it in with my weights tonight. Maybe I can just commit to half a video. Something I might be able to get done.
I peeked at the scale this mornign and I was a little happier than it had been. Considering my next scheduled WI is tomorrow morning it's not quite that happy. but I'm not sure if I'll post it or save it until my challenge is done. Probably save it in hopes for a smaller number. Let's say this though, I do deserve to go to a movie (does anybody know what i'm talking about?)
ok so, food and exercise seems to be going quite well. Now I think it's just a waiting game. Been pounding back the water and getting lots of protein. That should be it right team? Am I missing anything. (god I hate waiting...)

Shield your eyes!

Ok I did it. Eek! This is a little bit better before picture than the last fully clothed one. That was actually a really flattering picture, gave you all the wrong idea. This is a little bit more honest. Oh and first of all, don't mind the hair, I just got out of the shower. Plus the pictures are crap since the screen is broken and I was home alone I had to use the timer and couldn't check them. But you get the idea. Ok now lets criticize:
I've got a lot more pear shaped body than I ever have before. This excess weight has all showed up lower belly and hips. But not hips like most girls get, top hips. I basically have no butt. Not a good thing. It just blends right into my legs. My shoulders look like crap but that might be because I'm doing awkward things with my arms. I didn't know what to do. I am sorta pleased with the skinny part of my waist. That's back again since I started blogging. Really I'm overall pleased. I'm starting to have a shape again and it just looks like a couple pounds of fat sitting on top. There were points when I didn't know if I even had a waist. Legs too, they've got some issues (besides being sooo short) but I actually feel like if I get to goal, I'll have a smokin' hot body! (so vain!) You might notice my somewhat barrel chested shape. Genetics. We're vikings. What I mean is that my profile shows a sorta flat belly (not a pregnant shaped one) but it's just thick. My mom often says that while most people prefer a profile shot, our bodies are made for head on. And you know how the model stance is to turn just a little with one foot in front. Not good for me.
So those are my before pictures posted, a) just for me. and b) for my challenge with Tigerlilly. So far so good on it as well. I'm gonna have no problem with the water, the 2 exercises (I walk the dog morning and evening plus my exercise), the kms (I probably run 10 km a week plus walking), coming up with my own recipe I think I can manage and there's my before pictures. So the ones that will be trouble are the 4 days of new exercise. I do have my videos that I'll try and do tonight and tomorrow. And the fresh food is usually not a problem but I'll have to be conscious of it. Bought a ton of fruits and veggies last night again (2 big bags of cherries!) I would like to express concern about the weekend and the wedding I'm going to. I am just gonna eat what's for supper. I'll try and eat healthily but I'm not bringing my own food. I'll also have to try extra hard with the water on the weekend. That's always tough.
A little victory last night. I helped my husband and our neighbour haul some free sod from the city to our house (so first of all lifted tons of heavy sod rolls). That took me from swallowing my last bite of supper to in the truck and doing that until 9:30. So I only had a small supper and then kept myself busy and then came home and got my weight workout in. Instead of crashing like I wanted to, I stuck to the schedule and now I've done a full week of my new workout plan. The tuesday weights order needs to be tweaked, my grip was useless for deadlifts. I also didn't know what weights to use for my shoulder presses. I can do it with both the 10's and 20's for 10 reps and feel a different kind of sore each time. I think the form on the 20lbs suffers so I think I'll stick to the 10lbs. Same thing with bicept curls, couldn't do a full 8 with the 20s. Maybe for tuesday I'll set the weights to 15. That should be alright for everything. Oh yeah, and I did ball squats (with the ball behind your back against a wall) with the weights. It kept my form a lot better with the ball, I could feel it a little more in the butt. But dude, that kills. :)

It's the final countdown

Do dada doo dooooo, do do dum dum dum. (you know that song, it plays every time Gob is gonna do magic on Arrested Development). Final countdown to all the things I wanted to be skinny for. Wedding this weekend, then big ball tourney on the long weekend. Then 2 more weddings back to back. All the kinds of things where either a bathing suit or a dress may be involved (or both?). And I was just shopping at noon today (my earphones broke, and we all know from Crabby that music is key to working out, and listening to podcasts at work). And I tried on a few bathing suits, I'm not quite bikini ready so I thought I'd snag a cute tankini or 1 piece meanwhile. But you know what? If you are not bikini ready, frankly you are not bathing suit ready. The things are the least flattering piece of torture ever. Whenever I'm feeling a little chunky or something I'll wear a low cut shirt cause my boobs usually look good (and they distract from the rest right?) but that doesn't work in bathing suits because they totally flatten them out. Is is so hard to put a little support in these god damn things!!!
I'm a little disappointed lately. My every time I see it weigh ins have been going up. I'm not sure who talked about this before but I swear humidity does this right? Granted I've been sorta bad on the eating front. I told you about the weekend, well yesterday was grilled cheese for supper (just 1, can't be too bad) but it was so darn hot and I had to clean out the freezer anyway, I ate a piece of frozen cheesecake. It was really good but probably 650 calories. That's a whole 'nother meal! Oops. I really need to get some groceries. Haven't really bought any since that major fruit and veggie excapade a month ago. Hopefully getting $100 worth of fresh fruit and veggies will help keep me out of the freezer. Plus I gotta get fresh stuff, i'm trying to do this challenge of Tigerlilly's.
So in order to have a successful blast off - does that even make sense? i'm trying to hard with this countdown thing. To get my skinny self looking good at these events I'm gonna have to stay on plan hard core. And what's gonna help me that's helped before? Weekly goals!
1. Stick to that workout plan I set up. Add at least 1 video workout somewhere in there. (I bought this 5 pack of exercise DVD's a few weeks ago and have only done 1 workout so far. It's got yoga, pilates, aerobics, strength and something else.)
2. Eat FRESH! (this is also good for the environment for all you hippies!) ;) Limit packaged foods to tuna (sorry Tigerlilly, I gotta have it!) This includes NO FAST FOOD!!
3. Cut back portions. Eat. Wait 10 minutes, then get more. I fill my plate, then eat my whole plate in 3.4 seconds, then realize I wasn't hungry to begin with. Smarten up!
I realize I'm gonna have to put up a few weekend game strategies as well. This weekend's wedding should be fine. But the camping ball tourney next week might be tough. We're all just pitching in for food. I hate doing that because I feel that people get stuff I dont' want and rip me off and I end up bringing my own little snacks that they probably forgot anyway. And then I make sure to eat "my fair share" since I'm paying for it. (fat girl thinking). It's going to be extra hard when I'm "on a diet" this year. I'll have to volunteer to help with the shopping. Again I'll be limiting my drinking if not cutting it out completely. Rum and diets until everyone's drunk enough they don't notice I'm sober. That's so bad.
Ok so anybody have any advice for last minute extra healthy more workouts drop pounds for the weekend? Or does anybody have any tips for good posture and remembering to suck your gut in and flattering poses for pictures? Dressing to look slimmer? Doesn't that sound like a Cosmo magazine cover?

Back to the grind

Hey, so the wonderful weekend is over. Ho hum. We ended up going home saturday night to show the puppy to our parents. Funny story, hubby called Daisy and said, come on Daisy and meet Gran- i mean laurie. about my mom. My mom doesn't want to be a dog's grandma. I don't really want to be a dog's mom. (encourage family resemblance jokes, or b*tch doesn't fall far from the tree jokes, no thanks.) But when she showed her to hubby's mom she went up to Daisy and said, "hello Daisy, I'm your grandma!" I have 2 very different mothers.
Anyway, it was also a billion degrees all weekend. So Saturday I just cleaned house while hubby was at work and watched movies. (we dont' have AC). Then sunday with all the visiting and not getting home until late, I didn't get my Sunday workout in. I know I know. I should have planned better. Done it Saturday cause I knew I wouldn't have time on Sun. But I didn't. And I don't want to do it today because I've got strength again tomorrow and want at least 1 day off in between. So I had one blip. But that's not really bad is it? I think I might have been ambitious only having 1 day off all week. Should have probably called Sundays workout optional. It's hard on weekends because there's no routine. So I think since I made the darn thing up, I'm changing it, to optional. And if I do do it, then I have to come up with some kind of reward that's not food. Maybe rent a movie. That's minor but still sort of a treat.
Anyway, this morning as it's supposed to be 33 degrees C today and humid, I went for my run already this morning. Yay me! This way, tonight is home free! I can go for a walk if I want, or I can just sit in front of the fan. Sweet.
I got that first big wedding this weekend. I'm pretty excited. Talked to the bride in email on the weekend. She's getting excited. And I finally figured out what to get her for a present. Bocce balls. Anybody know what these are or is it a local thing? It's kinda like lawn bowling but it's not for old people and it's good for afternoon's at the lake with a beer. I think it should be good. They've got a tiny backyard but it comes in a case so it's portable. Plus, I hate to say it, but it was cheap and looks expensive. Costco $35 for the fancy ceramic balls in a stainless steal suitcase thing. Looks at least $50. (which is what I wanted to spend but everything on their registry is so over priced so I could have got them a $40 martini shaker and a corkscrew for $50 but it looks like $20!) So I'm going to try and eat really well all week and stick to my plan so wedding will be my skinniest.
Speaking of which, I had a pretty bad weekend for eating. fast food burger friday supper and again Saturday this time with fries. Chips saturday night. A cooler sunday (I'm finding it hard to tell people that I don't really want to drink! this was with my parents for crying out loud!) and big supper of potatoes and pork chops and beans. Luckily all snacks sunday were fruit and fruit salad.
But I did invent something that's totally delicious and I think healthy. It's a smoothie here's my recipe:
a big scoop (1/2 cup) cottage cheese (sounds gross but stay with me)
1 cup (plus?) frozen fruit from costco (strawberries, grapes, peaches, pineapple etc)
little bit of vanilla yogurt
splenda
ice

I'm sorry the measurements suck but if I measure I find it boring. But this tastes like liquid cheesecake. Something like that. If you don't put much yogurt and ice (which waters it down) in it you could totally fill a pie crust or something and refreeze it, it would be AMAZING! Plus that's not bad for you is it? It'll be a little bit of a minimeal, maybe 250 calories? Don't know. It cools you off good though! And I'm not really a fan of milkshakes either.

Oh yeah...and I told y'all that I was going to probably weigh in again today. Well it said 145.8. So that's 1.4 lbs in 3 days. I know that's not real weight. It was vacation plumbing (I'm not getting in to it) and the alcohol and burgers and everything. It'll disappear (if you say it 3 times it comes true right?) Anyway, i'm doing pretty good I guess despite the minigain. Still, even if I used today as my weigh in and ignored friday, it's still a loss (only .2 but still...).
Ok good, I hope everyone's weekend was OP, and if it wasn't I hope it was fun and you're back now!

HAPPY WEEKEND KICKOFF!

Ok so I normally post at noon or afternoon and it's only 9:16 here now (since we are talking time lately). But i'm a little excited about stuff and wanted to share. Plus I have a killer load of work to do later on.
So I weighed myself today. I'm gonna take Katieo's advice and try friday weigh ins. I don't know if it will make a difference (and frankly I'm sure I'm going to weigh myself monday as well). But I don't know what number to report to you. Did you know that even just boxers and a stretched out tank top weigh 1.2 lbs? or that being wet from a shower adds 1 lb? I weighed myself 3 times this morning and they were all different. But the good news? They were all a loss! Just different variations of a loss. Should we go with the biggest one but be more forgiving next week if it doesn't change? Or should we go with the first one which is the heaviest? We're going with the lightest come on who are we kidding? 144.4! Yippee! So what's that? a 1.6 lb loss in 4 days? Sa-weet. And what else does that mean? Surpassed first mini-goal! I jumped right over those 145s (like it's a whole decade of lbs instead of just 1). So if I don't pack it on again by next weekend I'm going to a movie! Now I haven't seen a movie since Spiderman 3 and before that was probably Spiderman 2! So tell me folks with lives greater than mine - what should we see?
I did my weights last night. I loved it. I thought I'd complain about lunges but I'm going to complain about back flies. They are hard! I can only use a 10 lb and even then my form suffers. I am rocking the pushups though! Even with puppy kisses and ponytail chewing! Tigerlilly - how'd you do?
I'm pretty proud of myself too (2 days in a row!). My SIL and her bf came over for a visit so instead of writing it off I did it as soon as she called since I knew I had 1/2 an hour while I waited for them drive out. I was all nasty and sweaty when they got here but also felt pretty darn good! This morning I was going to do my HIIT before work but I forgot hubby had to go to work 1/2 hr early so I had the dog all morning. Also, it was raining out. So I have to do it tonight. Should be fine. But I was going to get it out of the way incase we actually try and have a life on a friday night (But I think we're just going to start up our sex life again - that's a whole 'nother story, and probably more than you wanted to know!)
So I hope every else is doing amazing like I am! hehe. Now wish me luck pushing it through the weekend!

We must be in different time zones...

now I'm not complaining. Really. Because I get lots of really good, inspiring, insightful comments. But you guys do not do it when I'm checking! All afternoon after I post I keep checking my email seeing if somebody said something. But no. Yet when I come to work again in the morning there they all are! We either must be in different time zones or you guys actually are productive at work and save blogging for free time! LOL! suckers...
Hey I wanted to say, I think I'm going to have exciting news scale-wise soon....

So yesterday I started my plan. Luckily Tigerlilly said she'd do this with me or I probably would have skipped yesterday. Thank goodness I have somebody keeping me accountable. (ps - Tigerlilly, and everyone else, if I come up with some excuse as to why I didn't do my workout, no matter how valid it seems, kick me in the face.)
So why would I have skipped on the very first day of this very exciting plan? Because my parents were in town. Whenever they come to town they take us (kids) out for supper. Ever since university days (which my siblings are still enjoying). Well Taste of Saskatchewan is on this week. Which is this big thing in the park by the river where all sorts or restaurants come and sell 3 different dishes for tickets that buy at the entrance. So you can have a drink from this place, a salad from that place, a dessert from the other place. Each place only has 3 things they can sell so they just mass produce it and it's ready to go when you want it. Well by the time I found a parking spot down there and met my parents and then we negotiated the crowds and decided the best deal for your money (fat girl thinking...) it was already kinda late. By the way, I had a veggie samosa, diet coke, small boring iceberg salad (supposed to be ginger chicken or something but they basically took 1 slice of chicken, sliced it even thinner, and the dressing was the same stuff they put on chinese food. Not great, and 2 tickets/$4), bites of everyone elses food (pulled pork, blackened chicken pasta were the best), and half-ish of a deep fried mars bar. Oh that was soooo good. If you don't know, a deep fried mars bar is - wait I probably shouldn't tell you because then you'll all want to either make your own (save $4!) or find a place to get them. So DISCLAIMER: if you don't want to be tempted, skip to after this paragraph. Deep fried mars bar is a mars bar dipped in sort of a donut batter and then deep fried on a stick. Looks like a corn dog. IT IS SO GOOD! Doesn't really seem like it or look like it. But the chocolate bar all melts and the caramel mixes with the chocolate all inside donut...It's also probably a bagillion calories, all from fat. Oh well, I only get this once a year and I always share it with somebody.
But after all that, and my parents left, my siblings and I walked around by the river. It's really pretty down there. If I lived anywhere in the area I would jog there every day. Tons of people do and that's about the only downside. It looks like the middle of a marathon. Always people running around or biking or roller blading or skateboarding. Clutters it up. When we were finished walking I walked back to my car which was parked near a restaurant where my beautiful friend (from the earlier picture) works. So I went in and visited her and the air conditioning for awhile. When I finally got back to my town I had to get gas and then when I got home it was already 8:30 or something. Well all I had to do was a half hour run, and the heat was sort of gone, and the puppy wasn't even home so I really had no excuses left. Especially none that any of you would let me get away with right? ;) So I went. And it was great. I picked up the puppy from hubby's ball game and she came with me for half of it. And she really pushed me at the end which is nice that it wasn't the other way around. You feel bad running with somebody faster than you (even if it's a dog) but you do workout better. Anyway, did the regular loop, approximately half an hour. Still had time to putz around the house! Yay me!
I'm reading the Best Life Diet from that Oprah guy. It's pretty good. I think it's aimed at beginners to the eating healthy thing though. And I don't fit in any of the exercise levels (another stupid plan trying to make you do all this cardio before you do weights - which I would like to tell all of you is WRONG!) Since I don't do 6 days of cardio i'm not supposed to do weights. Whatever. And there's a 1 month thing where you don't change anything except stop eating 3 hours before bed (check) drink minimum 8 glasses of water (check) and eat 3 meals and at least one snack (check). Well I'm definately skipping that part. I already do that and most of stage 2 (cut out pop, alcohol, white pasta and bread etc). So I don't think that this plan is really gonna work for me. I should clarify - I'm not looking for a plan to join. I just like reading all this stuff and feeling good about myself. NO! I mean I like reading this stuff and incorporating the little tips and tricks into what I already do. So I guess I cherry pick the stuff I like and leave the stuff I don't which probably isn't good but at least is doable. If anybody's looking for a good plan that's actually pretty easy to follow they should check out 5-factor fitness (I guess that's what brought us Hallie Berry and the new and improved Jessica Simpson.) I did that one for almost 2 weeks straight with no problem. I just wanted to step up my exercise a little more and then forgot about it. I do still incorporate many of those little tips in my diet too (like 5 meals a day, sorta).
Anyway, tonight is weights. looking forward to my new routine. If else wants to try it out that'd be cool!
oh yeah-I added some blogs to my fav's on the side. I am especially in love with fitness fixation right now. she is so rockin' and dirty. I love it!

The plan

So I've been trying to come up with a workout plan that's going to help me measure progress and keep things a little more structured. So here's what I've got:

A couple notes - the 30 minute runs can be replaced by 2 (!) dog walks on the same day. The HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) cannot. If I do something on the bonus day, it cannot replace anything, unless it's a planned swap out, (missed a friday, do it saturday. but you see that's a make-up, not a bonus.)

Also, I need a hand with my tuesday strength, I'm trying to keep tuesday and thursday approximately equal on bodyparts and exercises. I am doing bicept curls one day and tricept presses another, but since they are small muscles and both arm exercises that don't really bring my heart rate up, I'm counting it fair. Plus I use those muscles in other exercises as well so they don't really need their own thing. But I've got calf raises thursday, and no equivalent exercise. It doesn't have to be calf related. But something smaller, single body part type thing. These are all my favorite exercises but maybe there's something that I've never done. If you have anything please let me know. I may do upright rows if I don't have anything else.

Another thing to note. I don't have reps up there or weights. That's on purpose, I want that to change. I've heard (the great Cosgrove again, and silly Daisy - he's actually Scottish so probably doesn't sound anything like that weight lifter you heard!) that you wanna vary that to keep your muscles guessing. So I'm going to make sure I tire myself out, won't be worth it otherwise. But it will vary from 3 sets of 10 to 2 sets of 15 to 5 sets of 5 etc etc. Probably mostly the 3 sets of 8-12 type thing. But again, I should be getting stronger with this and the weights will have to be going up. Right now I'm doing most things with 2 20lb dumbells, but I've got 10's and 5's also for some of the smaller muscles.

I'm working on an eating plan. Gonna be something to make sure I'm getting enough veggies and not too much carbs, similar to a food guide sort of thing or an LA Weight Loss.

Oh, one more note. Since I did strength training last night and I don't want to do 2 days in a row (the rest day is when the muscle actually gets built, if you do back to back you just tear it apart with no chance to recover and rebuild - bigger!) Oh, wait a minute, today is wednesday! Ok, I can start right on schedule tonight. (I was gonna say I had to wait until thursday, oh no looking for excuses already!)

If anybody wants to do this same plan as well please let me know, it would be really fun to bitch about our lunges every friday or something. Or if you wanted to just know what I meant with everything I wrote up there (I may have made some of the names up, I don't know) let me know.

I'm pretty pumped about this. Not so much the cardio stuff but the strength stuff. I liked what I was doing but missed my other favorite moves that weren't in the plan (squats and shoulder presses). But it's good for me to do the cardio as well because that's where I had no plan. Anyway, let me know what you think!

A little help?

Ok so I'm gonna ask. Is anybody on LA Weight loss? I'm trying to do an informal thing like that for myself (as I understand you have to eat a certain number of proteins, starches, fruits etc each day). If you are on it, would you share your plan with me and my readers? Or something similar. (not WW, you can find point values for everything on much better blogs than mine). But I can't find a place to (freely) see what South Beach, LA Weight Loss, Jenny Craig etc are to copy them for free. So if you have any of the menu's or guidelines please pass them along! I'll pay you back in some way...lots of smiles? :) :) :)

Wanna lose weight?

Then read this...
(don't be intimidated by the scary looking site or the adds with huge buff men, it's a good article on a good site, just looks bad)

my first product review

These are yummy. They are a grocery store brand. These have 6 g of protein per bar. They do have 170 calories/bar so save them for minimeals, not a dessert or snack. Plus only 4 comes in a box so not a great deal. But they're really good.

Meeting went pretty good. Candace was right it was an R&D claim. And turns out I short changed us on the salaries because I wasn't given access to people's salaries, just had to trust this list put together for a different claim thing. Also, I claimed some travel expenses that are probably not elligable. And if I would have done it differently they would have been in overhead. So I probably short changed the company a few thousand bucks. Oops. But come on it's a company, doesn't a few thousand bucks mean very little to a company? Plus I had no idea what I was doing. But I do feel like an idiot. But the guy was really nice and I was only intimidated at the beginning. Plus the main bosses weren't here today to overhear anything so I don't feel embarrassed about my surplus of inadequacy.

So as for a plan. No wait first I want to tell you about last night. Just goes to show you I was all talk. I said I'd give up bread or be really strict. Last night for a snack (which I hardly ever even eat after supper!) a handfull of bagel crisps, and a handful of pringle chips. Oops. I did run my dog before supper though. and I thought I killed her. I tried to do my normal running path, about 5km, 1/2 run. Well it was really hot out and she's black and has never run that far. About 3/4 of the way through, she just sat down in the shade. I almost tripped on her. So we rested for 5 minutes and I thought she was better. she was chasing birds again so we sprinted the last little bit. I got her home and she just collapsed. She was panting so fast I seriously was worried. And she stayed like that for 15 minutes after we got home. So my husband came home and saw her like that and then played the nice guy and teased me about being a mean mom. I gave her an ice pack to chew on since we were out of ice cubes. I think it worked. She still loves me.
Ok so my new plan. Let's see...ok I'll be honest I don't have it yet. I'm reading some Cosgrove articles right now trying to figure one out. So hopefully I'll come up with somethign tonight and get back to you tomorrow. Let me know if you've got any recommendations.
confession- I was gonna say I'm bored at home when I'm not working out so it can be something almost every day. But I shouldn't be bored. I'm finishing up my thesis. I've been writing and working since September. not a very efficient writer because I dont' want to be doing it. I should have been done by now. So I think I'm going to incorporate thesis writing in my plan. Off days, schedule an hour in or something. It doesn't have to be much. But I'm doing nothing now and I still have to pay tuition. I want to defend this september but it's not looking good unless I get my ass in gear. So I've got 2 mail goals for the end of September, wear a bikini and be done with school. I hate talking about school or thinking about it or anything so this is already uncomfortable. But you all have helped me with exercise and weight loss and getting my thinking straight I was hoping you could help me with my thesis. I've got to write conclusions and do some serious overhauling edits to the organization of the rest of it. Let alone detailed editing. So don't just keep me on track weight wise, but thesis wise too ok? It's gonna be harder because I'm going to be less willing to talk about that.
Anyway, I'm gonna look up some exercise plans to adapt. Later!

snap out of it!

Well thank you ladies very much. I know I'm looking "ok". and I know I've made really good progress. I just got spoiled and expected it to continue as easy as it started and when it didn't I thought I needed a shake up. And for the weddings coming up, I know it doesn't really matter what I look like, it's not my day. And I'm sure to everyone else I look fine +/- 5 pounds. But we're all our own worst critic right? So I see a double chin, sorry, it's really there. And I just wanted it gone. I am SUPER pleased with my progress so far. Yesterday I was walking around the house with the curtains open wearing a sports bra! Really! It wasn't a fashion choice, just so hot. But as long I was standing there were no rolls, and 2 months ago there would have been. Thanks for the kick in the butt girls, I know I don't need to be turning anorexic or whatever for 2 weeks to look good for the wedding and I probably would have told any of you to smarten up too if you were taking crash diets like I was. So I'm sorry for my lapse into the skinny bitch side but I'm back. Back to smart eating and exercising. I'm going to make up my own plan, put it on the calendar and then stick to it. That way I'll at least be able to see what I've accomplished and hopefully have a measuring stick for my progress that's not the scale. I know muscle is heavier, I know! That's my favorite thing to tell all of you!
Oh yeah, and thank you people for reminding me peanut butter isn't the best choice. I try and get protein at every meal so that's how I validate it. But I eat way too much on my toast. Plus it's mostly a fat not a protein. I should have a yogurt or eggs for protein in the morning. But I don't know what to eat on my toast (can't be cereal every day, what if I'm out of milk or yogurt?) I like butter and jam but that's no good. Or cheese whiz, but again, not good. is there anything healthy to eat on toast?
I've got a big meeting in 1.5 hours. I'm pretty nervous about. I did the company research tax claim in January (why me? I'm not an accountant I'm an engineer, I knew nothing about it) and they're finally looking at it and coming to have a look at some of our records. Sort of like an audit. Super nervous. Plus it's my first meeting ever by myself since I started working. Can't play the I'm new here or ask the other people when I don't know. Eeek! But the guy seemed nice (he's from the Canadian IRS) and said if I didn't have everything he needed here then I could get it to him later. ok, but still. Eeek!
So I'm going to try and work out a plan to calm myself down. I'll post it later and let you know how my meeting was.

Advice turn around

Ok team. Ready for the big reveal? 146.0. Exactly the same. EXACTLY. Which is better than slightly higher which is what I was expecting (every day this week has been higher until today, so perhaps I had a gain and then a loss during the week?) Anyway, no change. Which was expected. Though not because I've been off track, but because I've been just dropping the pounds like an arctic explorer (did you know they burn so many calories that they force feed bacon cooked in lard and chocolate bars all the time). I knew I couldn't sustain the 2 1/4 lb / week I was doing. I mean last week I lost 3.8 lbs! I think my body was just catching up. So hopefully the numbers will start going down again soon. But in the mean time...I need some help. I know I'm a total know it all, telling you all to lift weights and eat fruit and whatever. So please pretend I haven't been all superior to all of you previously and gimme some tips. I'm eating my humble pie (made with splenda) and coming back with my tail between my legs and every other analogy you want. I had some nice beginner's luck and dropped 9 pounds in 2 months (which isn't too bad but nothing to write home about) but some of you have had real progress. Not that i'm trying to say you were so obese or something. Geez, this is hard. What I'm asking without trying to offend is for you to critique my plan. I'm not on an organized plan, WW, atkins, couch to 5K, whatever. So i can't say i've been over points or have missed 3 workouts. I'm gonna detail my meals a little bit here and my workouts and whatever and then I'm looking for NEGATIVES! If you just tell me that I'm doing great, then I won't change anything and the scale won't change for me. I won't be offended, I promise.

Ok, so food:

breakfast - today was Kashi-crunch cereal with banana and milk. Usually it's 2 pieces of whole wheat toast with peanut butter. I don't physically measure anything, but I try and look at the package to see what a serving is supposed to be.

snack - i drank 500+mL of kool-aid made with splenda with some benefibre mixed in. And as it's monday, it's office snack day and we had blueberry muffins with some kinda lemon sugar topping. Smallish muffins. there's only about 7 people in the office and we eat at this meeting every monday so I'd really like to be able to continue eating these snacks (somebody else brings each monday so I don't know what it is and don't want to offend anybody and also don't want to explain to everybody here why I don't want to eat it.)

lunch - sorta struggled to find something today, no leftovers and just wasn't feeling the salad since it would have been just lettuce since I didn't have any cut veggies. So I had a peanut butter sandwich. plus ~1.5 cups cherries, a plum, and a 50 calorie sugar and fat free yogurt. I have a feeling this is more food than most people eat for lunch. Let me know if it is. If I have leftovers or a salad or something that just replaces the sandwich, I still eat all the extras.

snack - I have a kiwi fruit, and ~1 cup baby carrots that I'll probably eat this afternoon. I'll likely have ~1/5 cup of trail mix as well to keep me full until supper

supper - plan is roast beef and probably rice and green beans. I'm always craving a "dessert" so I probably will also eat a banana or a peach as well.

late snack, usually don't have one cause I'm full from supper until late and then exercise at night. If I do, it's usually fruit again, watermelon or something. Last night we had a date night in and watched a movie so I made air popped popcorn and put 3 tbsp (?) of butter on it. Plus watermelon and 4 chocolate eggs from Easter. That's not a regular night snack, just a special date night one. Maybe my problem is letting myself eat abnormally on special occasions, I can find a special occasion probably once a week. (if not more, saturday I ate a clubhouse and fries at the stagette, (yes it was supper, not just bar food!), plus 2 drinks, then the next day was the movie night, 2 in a row...).

Every second day I do a weight training thing that takes ~20 minutes. I posted it on here earlier. I've upped the weights, they're now 20ish pounds. I'm not sure. I used to run intervals for 1/2 hour 3 days a week but since we got our puppy I haven't. Now I jog for 1/2 hour about twice a week and walk for 20 minutes pretty much every day. I think walking is good exercise if you're not used to working out. But I don't think I can expect really any benefits from it when I'm used to much more intense activity. About once a week I get a bonus fun thing in like a round of golf or a bike ride.

I drink a billion litres of water a day. Well probably 4 litres. Probably 4 diet cokes a week. My job is very sedentary and I live out of town so I have to drive to get here. I could walk or something at noon. I was going to join the gym in town because it was supposed to be opening last fall, but construction seems to have stopped for some reason and it's still not open. the only thing in town is the Curves and a physio place. During the school year they offer fitness classes for cheap and I was taking a 1.5 hour class once a week that did cardio combat and weight training. But it's not available during the summer. I think I can commit to some sort of serious training schedule if it's just for the summer. (not that anything's happening in the winter, but I won't do it if I think it's long term, it might end up being that way though). I still have access to the school gym if I wanted to go on the way home from work or something but I haven't in a long time.

I have a feeling the main probably is with the eating, not the exercising, though that would benefit from some kind of structured program as well. If you'd like to share what you're doing I'd appreciate it. Or if you can see any holes in my plan that would be great too. I think one problem I've just discovered is in the lack of structure and accountability. I'm just trying to "eat well" and "exercise some". No plan. I don't know if I could actually count points or calories or anything but maybe I should I've also go this elimination diet thing that's supposed to be a great detox and is only a few weeks long, but there's no sugar or flour in it basically. that's pretty rough. What do you all think?

What's that you ask? I'm doing pretty good so why the big push? Well I've got weddings to go to. Plus I saw pictures of me on the weekend and I have a side double chin. Wait I'll put it up.... There. I saw this on facebook and cringed. (I think she did red eye reduction on the eyes, they look funky). My face just looks thick. So do my arms. I like them when I flex, but when I'm not, they're yucky. Plus check out my supermodel friend. Isn't she gorgeous? She's also trying to lose weight, and she is sorta bigger, but it's just so proportioned in her. She's really tall so I wouldn't know what she weighed but I'm so jealous of her. If my fat distributed itself like hers, I probably wouldn't try and lose. She can wear shorts and look good. My legs are smaller than hers, but when I wear shorts it looks ridiculous, bulges here, rubbing there. Anyway, that's off topic. I hate this picture of me, though I do look like I'm having fun. And here's another that's not great. Not terrible, but not great. Again, the arm, and just the general thickness of the torso isn't my fav. Makes my head look too small. That's my fav indicator of size, if your body is too big for your head you need to lose, if your head is too big for your body you need to gain. Really has little to do with actual head size as that doesn't vary all that much. Anyway, that's the bride to the left of me and all her friends. I really only know the 2 girls on either side of me, supermodel and bride to be. But they were all fun. And I completely behaved. I had 1 shot at the first bar, the bar bought one for all of us. Then that rum and diet in my hand at the second bar. And diet cokes for the rest of the night. Oh yeah, my point to all this was, I have weddings coming up and I want to take lots of pictures and be in lots of pictures and have a really good time as it's some of my best friends getting married. But I don't want to be self conscious, nor do I want to hate the pictures I'm in and not put them up or anything. Therefore, I ask for help! First wedding is only 2 weeks away so I will do an emergency no bread diet if I have to (but you have to tell me what I can eat instead!) to get this back on track!

Ok that post took over an hour of work time to write! Sorry for that! Hopefully I didn't turn you off from reading me! Now please, set me straight!

Who could hate veggies?

Something to remind you to get in your fruits and veggies!

I can't believe I missed a day!

I was going back and forth to all of your blogs waiting for you all to update, but I never even did mine! Well I had a billion posts Wed so it's probably ok.
anyway, what have you missed..jogged to watch hubby play ball with Daisy. She was soooo good at ball I was so suprised! She's really good except when meeting new people she gets excited. But I think she was overwhelmed with the amount of people there or maybe she was just too tired from our run. but she just sat there and watched. There was some other dog running around free that came and sniffed us over and over, started wrestling/playing but I didn't like it because it was bigger and just running around with no people. but Daisy was really good with it. I think the key is tiring her out.
Also ran her this morning. But the thing is, I get pooped from holding her leash and not tripping on her or something. I can run better than I've been doing lately! Don't know what's going on! Feels like I'm getting in worse shape. Don't know why.
And I did weights last night. I'm not getting my heart rate up in the lunges like I used to. So I think i'm going to up the weights. If I can't handle it on the rows, well I'll just do less. As long as I go to exhaustion. I also started doing calf raises one foot at a time. Feels lost better. Completely kills. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this but I love calf exercises. I have body builder calves. In high school when I stood on my tiptoes you could see 2 or 3 different specific muscles, the full outline, almost disguisting anatomy class stuff. And I didn't have to work on it. I just naturally walk on my tiptoes a lot. since I was a kid. that's why my MIL nicknamed me Tinkerbell. ANYWAY. I was sort of self conscious about them for awhile so stopped doing anythign that might make them bigger. But what happened is they just lost the toning and stayed big. So I've got fat lady or man sized calves with no shape. So I'm really glad to be doing calf exercises again. Because I've still got killer strength, and I can feel each individual muscle working differently depending on what direction I face my toes so I can totally shape this exactly how I want this time. I'm stoked.
I've been sneak peaking at the scale all week and I knew this would happen as I was all cocky last week. No change. differences of .3 upward. But nothign downward. So as of Wed I decided to kick it up a little bit. But I don't know what else I can do. I'm eating completely awesome. Only healthy foods, no crazy serving sizes. lots of chicken and beans. cutting out bread. But still no change. I think my every second day of weigts is still good but like I said, gonna up the weight. And I've been walking the dog lots. this is really the first week where I've been acting like i'm on a diet and fueling hunger pangs with veggies. I think maybe I'm eating too many nuts. If I didn't bring enough fruit for morning and afternoon snack (and sometimes even if I did, because I'm trying to eat lots of protein) i'll have some trail mix that i've got at my desk here. Which is good. But I think I should limit it to once a day. I'm pretty sure I'm not eating too much of it. A 1/3 cup is 280 cal and I've been doing maybe 1/5 of a cup for each snack, (super small handfull) so that's about 190. But I could be wrong about just how much I'm eating too. It may have to do with forgetting my vitamins. I bet that doesn't help metabolism. It may also have to do with last week's big loss being somewhat untrue, a result of TOM over and dehydrated or weird body functions or something. I've still got a few days. And since I am doing weights and stuff I know I shouldn't rely on the scale too much, rather look at measurements. And I am quite happy with how all my clothes are fitting and stuff. I'll just keep doing what i've been doing as I know it worked before. Besides a plateau isn't a plateau if it's just 1 week. If there's no change for 2 weeks, then I'll really need to switch something up.
Something that might not be helping with mondays WI is the fact that i've got a stagette on saturday night. I'll try and be good. I think I'll be driving. It's always pretty easy for me to turn down drinking as I get such bad hangovers after even just a few. Plus I'm paranoid enough having pictures taken of me, and I know I don't suck my gut in when I'm drunk! Also, I know the drinks I like are crazy calories. (did you know that a long island iced tea can have 780 calories! more than a pina colada!) But it's going to be appetizers and stuff at this bar, and even if I tried, bars don't offer non deep fried appetizers! I'll just have to stuff myself before I go with fruit and veggies. At least it won't be just chips or baking. I'd never make it.
Anway, good luck with all your weekends. and stay tuned to see if I can squeeze out a loss after all this week.

Theory of relativity

Well I must thank you for your comments. They are always great and they always leave me wanting to talk about something else. In this case, the theory of relativity.
Who wishes they could have their high school/college body back? Who thought during those years that they were fat though? That's relativity baby. I was always bigger than the other girls in my class, therefore, fat. However I hit puberty much earlier, and also, some of the girls from school were just tiny little things. Like the skinny shoulder kind. The ones who could wear those plastic bangle bracelets and were scared they'd fall off. So compared to them yeah, I was. And when I hung out with my sister. Pictures of us waist up, I'm huge. Waist down, you don't know who's who (we share pants). So she thinks she's got a big butt. And relative to the rest of her body, sure. (when you wear size small tops and size 9 pants, big difference) But for me, with the same size butt, I think I've got a small butt. (size 9 pants, and size large tops). When you're 25 and your friends are all in the bar scene and fashion scene and bikini wearing sun-tanning scene and you weight 146 lbs, you are the odd man out. I realize compared to a lot of people who have weight to lose, your goals are 145 or something. I'm not saying that you will be fat when you have reached your goal! I'm not even saying that my before is fat. I'm saying that I'm bigger than I want to be. I am also on the unhealthy side of BMI, and I have high cholesterol. (at least before I started) That's not where I wanna be. To be honest, my main motivation is complete vanity. I wanna be the sexy girl in the bikini. Just for a little while. I wanna get my wave chasing (in Saskatchewan? ha!), sun tanning (with 45 sunscreen), get checked out -ing, in before I am too old (probably should have been done in the teen years, and no I'm not trying to call any of you old!). I got married young to my high school sweetheart so I've sort of felt like an old married woman since I was 16! I guess it isn't fair now because I'm comparing myself to 18 year olds who I wanna be, but damn it, why not! I just want to try it out for a little while, then I'm ready to cut my long hair and have babies. Not to mention the cholesterol, which was a slap in the face. 25 years old, with a preventable thing like that. I felt like that was the absolute proof that things were getting out of hand.
Now to those of you who are trying to lose a lot more than me: That's awesome! I'm not saying you're disgusting or I can't believe you let yourself get like that or anything. I'm trying to get to a place for me. Be honest with me, if you could have started losing when you weighed 155, wouldn't you have? I'm the worst person for hating the skinny girls just because they're skinny. But I know I shouldn't. I'm working at it just like the rest of you. I apologize if I've offended anyone, I take this Internet anonymity thing a bit far sometimes. I swear I'm a nice person! :)
It's all relative, I know. I'm never going to be smaller than a size 6. My bones probably are a size 6. Plus, for me, with my body (muscles, organs whatever), it's not possible, nor do I want it. But for some of you, your max is a 6 and you want to be a 2. For you, a 6 is big. Relativity. Some of you want to get down to a 10. That's the smallest your body will do. That's good then! It's all relative. You know yourselves better than I do, and I know myself. (Lets not even start talking about where we buy our respective 6s and 10s because that makes all the difference in the world.) That, and the fact that our organs and bones and muscles do weigh different amounts means we shouldn't compare weights either. Even if I think somebody's goal is too low or high doesn't mean anything. If they had my body it might be low or high. They know their body, I'm gonna let them set their own goals. I know mine, and I think I set my goals accordingly.
This wasn't meant to get anyone down. I need to remember these things myself! like I said, I always hate the skinny girl so if anybody's hating me, I'm flattered!

this is too funny

progress and tough love

Well we'll put these stats up here until somebody rescues me from blogger problems. Not too shabby huh? I need to point out that this morning's measurements were done first thing out of bed. You ever notice how you're so much skinnier in the morning than the evening. Sucks too because evenings are when i'm always trying to look nicest (weddings, parties etc are all evening). Oh well. keep it up and I won't care! I added neck a little later because in old pictures I can always tell if I'm packing on the pounds in my neck. I have a short fat neck. What can I say? Shorter necklaces strangle me. My happiest one is the bellybutton, 2 inches! Take that trouble area! Ideally I'd like my hips to get back down to 36 if not slightly smaller. My hips were always my pride and joy. It's completely genetics but I'll take it. No change in my arm but I'm not suprised. I would like to lose a little of the flab in there. It'll come.

Anways here's that before picture my hubby took, not sure exactly what it shows except for a strange folding in the crotch (I swear it's not a front wedgie! Just some odd bunching, zoom in you can tell) I was almost too embarrassed about that to put it in but you probably wouldn't have even noticed if I didn't mention it right? Plus we don't know each other in real life. I don't ever have to worry about getting weird looks from you on the street. Ok here it is. I didn't have a nice clean background, or even a nice clean house but whatever. Plus I had just finished working out so that's why i'm sweaty and my hair's like that. This picture sort of hides the whole belly problem, flattering workout clothes. But it does highlight the thigh problem. And a weird standing position problem. And a messy fridge problem. But I do have nice collar bones!

Funny thing that weight loss might fix for me, my pants are always too long. I have short stubby legs. Thanks mom. But another way to look at long pants, is fat waist. If I wear smaller sized pants, they won't be so much too long. As can be seen in the picture, these are capri pants, that are fitting like slightly too short pants. Resisting genetics, that's what weight loss can do for me!

So last night hubby and I had a fight about puppy. I think we should be walking her in the am and in the pm. I did all this reading and research into training puppies and a lot of problem behaviour is the result of not enough exercise. And prevention is the best cure. So let's tire her out before we put her to bed or tie her up. But hubby thinks I'm over doing it, she's just a dog. They had dogs on the farm that they never had to do anything with and they were fine. Yeah I'm probably being too mothering and over doing it (I can't think of the word I need here...) but I'm just frustrated that he's doing too little (last night was the first time he walked her, I've been doing twice a day for 4 days). But we had this fight while walking Daisy. And we had to stop and meet neighbours (hubby's the outgoing one who will talk to other people, I keep to myself). Oh yeah, part of the fight was because hubby went out for beers after work again yesterday, and he definately will be tonight after ball so I'm stuck with all the housework and puppy sitting and walking and supper making and he doesn't even eat it. So by the time all that was over it was 9:15 and I hadn't exercised yet. So instead of settling down and going to bed early I did my weights. I'm happy. They make me feel good. I'm not sure but I might need to up the weight again already. But only for some exercises. It'll be too annoying putting plates on and off in between exercises so maybe I'll wait until everything is strong enough. But that meant that I didn't get to bed early again. So I slept in this mornign to make up for it. So no walking this morning. What were we just fighting about again? Oh well. Tonight hubby's got ball so Daisy and I will walk/jog down there and watch. And guess what I forgot again today? my vitamins! Definately contributing to the sleepiness.

Now I'm going to get up on my soap box and make some comments that may be unwarranted. If so, whatever, I'm still doing it. It's going to come across like I'm so amazing but whatever. i'm alright. ;) I'm confused about how everyone is in slumps right now. It's summer baby! Time to get outside go for bike rides, walks, hikes, swims. That's the fun, the playing this time of year, not even the "workouts". There's no good tv on. Go outside. Even if it's just walking to a park to lay down and read a book. You walked there. Plus being summer is when all the yummy healthy food is in season! Every kind of fruit is available and delicious. If you don't eat cherries and apricots and watermelon now, boy will you regret it in December when you can't get it. Packaged food of all kind should be saved for winter. Pudding snacks, 100 cal packs, not summer snacks, besides, you can probably eat way way more fruits and veggies than are in that tiny chip bag. I'm a quantity person, not quality, you probably are too if you're overweight (go for the biggest piece of cake in there so you're getting your points worth?) You can eat a million veggies and be completly stuffed and it will actually help you lose! I know that summers are also about patios and margaritas and ice cream. And that's good too. But save up for them. And have it all on one splurge day. One day eating like crap is better than eating a little crap every day. Plus, if you're eating non packaged foods and fresh fruits and veggies you'll actually stop craving the chips and salsa. I know, I couldn't believe it, but it happened to me. I've had cookies in my car for a week and only eaten 1. COOKIES! I'd sooner have 10 pieces of watermelon than 1 cookie. Plus it should be easier to drink your water when it's hot out. your appetite is down when it's hot. If you want to spend more of your time just chilaxing, that's cool, just workout half an hour but harder. I believe that's more beneficial than hours on an elliptical anyway. Think about it, which feels easier? Probably because it is. Summer is setting you up for success. It's going to be gone before you know it and then you'll be stuck with canned fruit and frozen veggies and indoor workouts. Plus Grey's Anatomy will be back on, and so will Lost, you think you'll be able to work out easier then?

Ok, sorry if that was rude. It was as much for me as you. I'm a tough love kinda person. So if anybody wants to lay in to me for eating 2 sandwiches last night and justifying it because "the first one didn't have any protein so I better have another" please do. Keep me accountable and burst my bubble and kick that soap box out from under me and tell me I'm not the weight loss queen just because I have the beginner's high and had a couple good weeks. Push me and I'll push you and we'll both get skinny in our shoving match!

ok somebody who's good at blogger tell me how to fix my 2 things over on the side! The progress chart and the measurement chart don't fit! I'm using shrink to fit but they don't!

how good am I really...

Whew! Thank goodness for autosave! I thought I lost this!

So I just remembered something that I forgot to write about. I ate fast food burgers for lunch saturday and for supper saturday! Yet I went on about how good I'm doing and waiting for it to blow up. Well maybe it has! Minor victory - no fries for me. I ate 5-ish fries of my brother's for lunch and 3ish onion rings of my husbands for supper. Fries are WHY I eat fast food. So that was good. But geez! Maybe I'm delusional about how good I'm doing, tricking myself with the scale or something. Well that's an insight for you all into my mentality, I always look on the positive! I'm not the type to dwell on something bad, whenever something sucks or bad happens or I have a fight, I'll get over it in about 1.4 minutes and then forget what was even that matter. I guess I'm that way with food too! If I eat something bad, (just like I tell all of you) I let it go, hey I enjoyed that but now I'm on track. Perhaps I take it too far...

So Daisy and I went for a jog monday morning and again this morning. Unfortunately not HIIT, because I don't think she can handle it. Also, I'm getting pooped! I don't know exactly why, whether it's because it's first thing in the morning, 1/2 hour before I usually get up, or because I'm holding a leash, or had just about the whole last week off of running but something's feeling different. And this little puppy is screwing up my routine. Yesterday I forgot my fibre drink, today I forgot my vitamins! Plus I'm not getting enough sleep because I feel bad having her in her kennel too long, so I'm not going to bed early and I am getting up early. Hopefully I fix that tonight.

Another thing for the old bloggy - hopefully tonight I'll download the camera and we'll get that before picture up. Also, I want to take measurements tonight and we can put those up. There is good news there, I occasionally sneak peaks at that, mostly belly button (aka target area #1). And it's looking good, close to an inch in a month! I'm really happy about that. I have noticed that I no longer stress as much about what to wear in the morning. Just a month ago, I was having trouble with even my bras fitting properly, that made half my shirts look funny and I was getting pretty consistant muffin tops on my pants. It doesn't really matter much as I sit alone in my office most of the day. But still, it's really nice to be able to wear underwear properly again! Plus I've got some sort of (confusing) happy news. These pants I've got on today, I was noticing how much nicer they are fitting, no longer completely unsightly in the inner thigh, I have to do the drawstring up or they'll fall a little bit (they've got a button and zipper and the drawstring). Anyway, just went pee and noticed they're a size 7! How 'bout that? I think it's a weird size though because the pants I'm dying to fit in again are size 9 and I can't. but different stores and all. But I remember 3+ years ago when the first time I was able to buy a size 7, and that's when I WAS small. So it's nice to have that sort of flashback and know that that's getting closer day by day!

So tonight is weight training again. I love it! I am contributing all of my progress to it. Not that I think my muscles are growing (though my butt is looking better :) ) but I think that the way I'm doing the circuit is actually acting like interval training. In particular the lunges get my completely out of breath, and I'm completely dead and sweating when i'm done the whole thing. So I'm really happy about that, especially because it doesn't FEEL that hard while I'm doing it, I can do it during tv and bad weather, and it only takes 20-30 minutes! So I'll do that, and probably just a walk for the dog tonight. I should do my bike ride but hubby doesn't have his bike yet and it would be nice to go together. we'll see.

Anyway today I wanna hear about what you're doing. I know you're losing weight, trying to not eat junk, eat more veggies, walk 3 days a week or something. But where is your success coming from? Is it switching your pop to diet? Is it sticking to WW and journaling every day? What's working for you?

Me and Daisy

So we decided on Daisy for the name of our puppy. That way people will know it's a girl. (it was Dusty but that's a boy name). We were going to name her Itchy because she's always scratching. It's not fleas (we dont' think) but just dandruff and sensitive skin. Maybe mosquito bites. She sleeps outside and the first time we put her in the dog run and left her she only barked once and cried for 3 minutes and then was fine. Has been fine since! We had 2 accidents in the house but that was before we learned where we were supposed to go. (listen to me talk here! "We went potty. We can sit." no SHE went potty! Dont' babytalk about your dog Randi!) Anyway, she CAN sit already. We were working on that one as soon as we picked her up and she was getting it pretty good. But then we took her to Petsmart and met the trainer there and she just did it over and over and with a signal and now she knows how by just doing this signal. So far we do it with food. I'm not sure when we should stop that and just give her hugs and pets. She also walks good on a leash which is awesome. At first she tugs a lot but it's because she's excited, when I remind her I'm the boss she's good. Also, when we jog she's better because she tuckers out quick. 15 minutes max. When she gets bigger I think she'll do better. Plus we were thinking about puppy school. But there another $100. We did get a cheap dog but she's already gotten spoiled with treats and toys and everything. Plus she's going to end up bigger than we though (said the Petsmart trainer) so we had to get a bigger kennel so there's another $100. She's really funny too. She'll be super hyper 1 minute and you can't get her to sit still then the next she's sleeping and if you pet her she'll go in her kennel so you can't get her. hyper and mellow. But I'm so excited. I could go on and on. But that's not what this blog is about so I'll stop.

This blog is about losing weight. And it's Monday. And that means judgement day. da da dum...... 146.0. Hurray! I know some of you had said that you do a little dance when it's a loss. Well I get so nervous and anxious. I feel better if it's a .3 loss than a couple pounds. Makes me think it's not real or now next week will either be harder or a gain, or I'll get complacent and quit. I gotta work on celebrating here! That's 1 pound away from first minigoal! Sure glad I made those rewards last week! Plus I finally got my husband to take a before picture - though it's not really because he took it last night. But it's still on the camera.

So how am I going to get another loss and hit that goal and go to a movie by next week? With mini-goals!

1. eat half fruit or veggies at every meal. Still got lots from that grocery trip

2. take Daisy walking at least 45 minutes a day. (15 in the am, 30 in the pm)

3. strength train every second day. (tues, thurs, sat or sun)

4. GO BIKING AT LEAST ONCE! It's been on goals for a long time but I still have only gone the one time. Oops. It's less for weight loss but more for training for that bike tour day!

ok so I think those are doable. The hardest one is the walking, every single day! getting up early and walking in the am! (which I did this morning I might add in a very snotty voice) but I think that's going to be really good for Daisy so she's not left in the dog run for 17 hours straight. Seems too mean.

Ok so I just wanna finish by saying thanks for reading this. It's weird to think people I don't even know know all the things I put in here! And I really appreciate comments, whether they are answers to questions I've posted or congrats or questions or telling me I screwed up. Plus I love finding other blogs to read every day and make work a little more fun! So thanks for commenting!

Monday's question: how do I get over my success anxiety and get happy about big losses! (also puppy tips are invited!)

not much new

Well I don't have much to report today. But I also don't feel like working so here I am!
Let's see. so excited about getting a puppy, it's distracting me from working and frankly doing anything. 1 more sleep!
Last night our house was sooooo hot and we were puppy proofing and cleaning our house so I just couldn't do a cardio. So I did a quick weight circuit and feel great today. The heavier weights are awesome, I can feel my muscles the next day so at least I feel like I accomplished something. Same circuit I did before but I add in a plank at the end and some pushups and leg bridges and squats. I feel like these body parts are neglected during the circuit.
I haven't done a cardio in a long time but I gotta say, these people might be right about it the cardio being inaffective. I've almost exclusively done weight training for over a week. and sneak peaked again this morning (it's now part of my morning routine, what can I say, when it's being nice you want to!). And this shows you how routine this is getting: it said 147.something. I dont' remember the decimal, didn't even really look. I was already stepped off before it registered that that's a new number for me. Again, it might not keep over the weekend. But still. I'm just expecting the number to be lower than last time and it is. I'm waiting for it to hit me. I know it's going to too. But I'm not complaining! So I thought I'd do a remeasure on the old bellybutton (which is my target area 1, target area 2 is thighs). No change. But come on, how much could a pound do, 1/2 an inch is probably like 4 pounds or something. Anybody got any stats on this? I'm so uneducated at this weight loss stuff. I don't know where the weight goes, forgot about TOM, have no idea what the relationship between size and pounds is. So ignorant.
Food's been good. Haven't had leftovers so lunch has been leftover pizza all week. Sorta bad but today was just 1 slice. Lots of fruit being going on! Strawberries, watermelon, kiwi mostly. I knew it would happen, waiting on the rest to be ripe! I'm probably going to have to throw some out in the end as it will all be ripe at the same time and I can't keep up. Maybe I'll make a fruit salad. So I guess for the week the only goal I'm coming up short on is the HIIT. But seriously, I can't do that in the heat! and today is supposed to be 35 (celsius, 97 or something F). My American friends, how do you deal with working out in the heat?
Stay tuned Monday for the WI!

puppy talk

Well I'm so excited. We finally decided on a puppy and I'm going to pick her up this Saturday! Yay! Hubby and I do not like the same kinds of dogs we found out. Why are we suprised though, we don't seem to have the same taste in anything! So we're getting my choice, ;). Mine is more practical for a house dog, smaller. Hubby wanted a husky! While she was beautiful, she was huge! So she's a terrier mix from the pound. Getting spayed today. I have to drive 1.5 hours to get her and the pound lady is also driving 1.5 hours. So that's a bit more of an expense as well, but still, total cost will be $200 (including fuel for pound lady, spay, shots, and chip). So then we'll also have to buy food and dishes and collars and stuff but really not too bad. But I'm so nervous! I feel like we're rushing it. We've got to overhaul our house tonight - puppy proof it, put the gate up on the fence. Figure out what we're going to do with her until the dog run is finished (we're thinking just super long rope in the dog run, she can't get caught on anything over there and it's pretty shady.) I'm just nervous that she might be bad. Like digging or run away. We're planning on going to puppy school but not for a few weeks. I've never had a pet that I was responsible for before! Mom and dad had cats, but they're easy. They want to "go" in litter boxes where they can bury. plus they don't do tricks or dig or anything. They claw furniture but only when they want to go out or something. plus, they can find their own food if they have to. Puppies are completely dependant on you! If anybody has good tips for crate training or stopping barking or anything please share!

Back on topic though. last night I did NOT go for a bike ride. Hubby had a girl cancel last minute on his ball team so I had to play. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I never struck out, but I did hit the ball to the same place everytime and got someone else out. I played back catcher (or bat catcher?) and the first inning was so weird, I couldn't throw the ball properly! Kept going to almost 1st base! Rolled off my fingers weird and way up high or straight in the dirt. But after the 1st I was good. I should clarify. I don't play ball. I used to in high school play softball, catcher, and I had all the equiptment on and could stop anything, throw people out at 2nd no problem. But then when I stopped playing softball, I stopped the ball with my shins and whole body because I had the equiptment, but once that was gone I was scared of the ball! especially if it was coming near my shins. I couldn't bend over and put my glove in the way because I was scared it would pop in my face! So I quit all together for years because I was just too scared of the ball, even playing catch! But last night they needed me and I played. I felt sort of bad. There's girls on the team who really suck. they had to tell them to run to first after a hit or explain tagging up. one of the girls said she didn't know how to sprint. So everyone was like "oh you're so good Randi, you should play" but I still don't want to. It was stressful for me! Plus not a good enough workout to count as that. Though it was different. Shoulder muscles used differently, squatting to get the ball a million times. But the cardio just wasn't there. Running the bases is not far enough.

Also, cardio wise, I'm not sure if my puppy is going to be big enough to run with me! Her legs are so short! She might be a jogging/walking puppy. That's ok. I think that won't count as my cardio, but just a bonus exercise. Oh I'm so excited!

And sports fans, I'm disappointed in the responses to the feta question! So far no new ideas!

I know this blog is getting really long but I thought of more things to say, so you can tune out if you want to!

supper yesterday. Well I hadn't eaten when Hubby asked me to play so I quickly made a protein shake (very good but not very big, only 3/4 cup or something!), some peanut butter toast, a kiwi (had to have the fruit in there!) and a fruit to go bar. Not 100% of my nutrients and well balanced and stuff but better than grabbing a quick burger! So tonight I'm thawing out chicken. Souvlaki for hubby, breast for me. I could have the souvlaki but it's bought kind and i'm just not a fan. And I get bbq corn on the cob to go with it!

scale sneak peak. Well I no longer care if I peak at the scale. It does interesting things but I don't put too much stock in it on a daily basis. Last night before I went to bed it was 152. and it's always higher before bed, dont know why, just all the food from the day and stuff. then I woke up this morning, went pee, and it was 148. Where do 3 pounds go when you're sleeping? I couldn't have peed 3 lbs worth could I? I never understand where they weight goes when you lose it. does it all just go down the toilet? sweat? Conservation of mass people! It has to go somewhere! But that sneak peak was suprising! like I said TOM is screwy so it could have held up progress last week that i'm seeing now or who knows! All I know is i'll take 1.8 lbs in 3 days! But it was unofficial. stay tuned for WI monday!

Rewards

Well lately things have been going pretty good. I'm just so pleased that something I'm doing on purpose is having the desired outcome. I do have to pick it up a bit. I had said I wanted to reach my goal by the end of summer but I'd have to up it to a couple pounds a week, where as I'm really only doing about 1. So pick that up a wee bit. But I saw this on some other people's blogs and thought it was cool so I decided to make one. Rewards for specific goals. Such as:

Hitting 145 (my used to be normal weight) - going out to the movies
Breaking into the 30's - pedicure
Fitting into my old black pants (they always used to look so good!) - Buying a new outfit
Reaching 130 - New outfit from Lululemon

Nothing extravagent. Really is all stuff I could probably get now but I always feel so guilty about it. So this way, I can get treat myself and not feel guilty. Hurray! When I write it out in small little increments like that it seems so easy. Not sure how to not sound rude - but so many people have so much more to lose than me. And they've done it too! (and if you're one of them and are reading this, you WILL do it too!) Sorta seems like, well where's my excuse, I'm not looking at something monumental like half my body weight. I'm talking 20 lbs! and then I get a Lululemon outfit! Hurray!
I may be changing my movie to something else. I wouldn't want to go by myself, rather a date with hubby. but who knows if he'll want to go to something I want. Plus it should be just something for me. We'll see. It was actually really hard to think of all that!

So on the day to day front. Last night bought groceries. $80 and nearly everything was fresh. All but juice crystals, fruit to go's, granola bars. I bought so much fruit and veggies: cherries, peaches, bananas, strawberries, plums, watermelon, cantaloupe, pears, pineapple, kiwis, avacados, corn on the cob, celery, cucumbers, green onion, red pepper, green pepper, broccolli. Already had tons of lettuce and carrots and potatoes and apples and apricots. Yummy yummy yummy. Now the problem becomes how to eat everything at the proper ripeness.
I know one goal this week was 1/2 fruit or veggies at every meal. Well supper last night was tough! Hubby made pizza. Probably first time in over a year he's had supper for me when I got home so I wasn't going to complain about it! well it was just ham and pineapple so not too terrible. loads of pineapple so there's some fruit. But I was just not feeling a salad and hadn't washed and cut up anything else yet. So I had a whole plate of watermelon for dessert. It counts. And breakfast, wasn't quite up for the omlete yet so had 1 toast (not 2, major victory) with pb, little bit of yogurt and granola with a ton of strawberries. Very good. Lunch today, left over pizza, bowl of strawberries and a kiwi. not sure about supper today. probably a pita. hubby's got ball so i'm on my own. then i'll go for a bike ride and then watch his game.
oh yeah, last night after getting groceries and wating for pizza to finish cooking, and then looking for puppies online (we're getting a puppy!) by the time I was ready to workout it was 9:30! i was going to say forget it but I didn't and got in a good weight workout with my new weights. *pat on the back* Good for you Randi. all in all I'm feeling like a pro at this. but it feels easy. I hope I'm not hitting a new plateau or something. I know I gotta pick it up and be a little stricter. Pizza is not actually a good meal but I'm treating it like one. At least it wasn't ordered in kind. and I eat less when I eat it (2 pieces) than a full plate of "well balanced meal". I'm keeping it on the good side. :)
Anyway, happy America day to my American friends. And I'll see you tomorrow on the trails!