a big BOO for stupidness

As in stupidness of the organizers of my fitness class. BOO! Yesterday at 4:00 I got an email saying that due to "miscommunication and confusion" that my last fitness class was cancelled. BOO! That means I definately didn't get my money's worth out of it. It also means that I didn't exercise yesterday! boo! I was really looking forward to that class. It usually sets up my week and separates the weekend from the work week. (as in weekend's over, stop eating like that). So that really sucked.

Oh, why I didn't get my money's worth? It was still cheap don't get me wrong. It was $35 for the whole fall/winter session. Supposed to be like 13 classes or something. Or you could drop in at $3 a session. Or get a punch card of 12 classes for $40 that you can use at any fitness class (there's strippercize in the new year...) Well we had the last 2 monday classes cancelled, plus there was no class on thanksgiving. So that's only 10 classes I think. So the best deal is actually the drop in! (doesn't make sense, but don't try telling them that, I did already...) I think in the new year I'll buy 2 punch cards and use them for my Monday class and wednesday class and a few strippercize classes. I think they'd be super fun. But it says something about how you shouldn't do it if you have back issues, but mine haven't flared up in a long time so maybe I'll just do it but modify moves if I need to. we'll see.

I made the most of the night however. I made 96 billion meatballs. (5 lbs worth of beef!) I'm freezing half of them and bringing the other half to a potluck tonight. While they were cooking, I made 5 mini fruitcakes. I love fruitcake. But most other people I realize do not. At least not enough for them to make it or buy it. So I do it myself. I give it to my mom who I know likes it. But I'm not sure what to do with the other 3. Is it really that bad to give fruitcakes to people? I'll maybe give one to the MIL too. Maybe bring the rest to my mom's and siblings and everyone can eat it there too. While those were cooking I made homemade protein bars. Though they're not quite as healthy as they should be. It called for sugar free pudding mix and I only had regular pudding mix. So that's what I used. It also called for oatmeal but I decided to put it in the blender and make oat flour (really easy and totally recommended). Plus it said to put it in the fridge over night, but I decided to cook it instead since I think the oat flour made it runnier than it was supposed to be. Anyway, I guess I basically made up my own recipe. It tastes pretty good but it's not that low cal. I'm cutting my pieces smaller though so I think it works out to 200 calories/serving. It's pretty good too. (had a nibble this morning) Sort of brownie like (but butterscotch instead).

So the eating issues continued last night. I for some reason decided not to put all my baking in the freezer again so it's been on the cupboard. I probably had 5 things last night. Oh and here's a public service announcement for you all: stay away from toffifee! You know those crazy delicious little chocolate carmel somethings? Just don't buy them to begin with. They are 45 calories EACH! try having just 1! Hubby has almost eaten the whole box already, like about 65 of them! I had 3 last night.

I also tried to do a tiny mini workout - 10 minutes before bed I did a ton of squats and some ab work and some pushups. I did it in my underware when I was changing for bed, in front of the mirror. Made me realize. My legs aren't getting smaller, they're getting bigger, mind you it's with muscle, but I've got body building man legs. ew. (though it does make my hips look good). Seriously, you can see all these little muscles working and stuff so it's not fat. You know how they say that women shouldn't be worried about bulking up with weight stuff because we don't have the testosterone for it and we're not likely doing heavy enough work for it etc etc? well I always knew I was the exception to that rule. (before I started working out regularly) I could just lift weights like twice and see awesome definition. I started doing side situps and oblique work and my waist go thicker and my pants wouldn't fit because I had built muscle so quickly. I KNOW this about me. So I think I'm going to focus on the cardio over the Christmas break. When the classes start back up, I might switch to lighter weights for the leg stuff too. I really like being strong, but I want nice legs! I think this means some things that are me specific.

As in, this is not an excuse for you to not do weight work! YOU won't bulk up! I am bulking up. First of all - there's no way most of you would have the strength I do for the workouts I do! ;) kidding. but you seriously have to really really work out regularly with heavy weights and stuff so I doubt that's the case anyway. Plus, it's just genetics! when I used to play volleyball, I had all these weird muscles popping out of everywhere that nobody else on the team would get, but we'd be doing the exact same workouts and everything. (like getting that weird muscle connecting the shoulders to the neck, making your neck look really really short. Plus I could flex my calf muscles 3 different ways to make 3 different parts stick out, when I climbed stairs, you could see every muscle working, sorta gross like I had no skin. If that never happened to you by accident then you wont' bulk up!)

So what am I goign to do? lighten the load. I don't want to lose strength or muscle necessarily because that's what's firing my metabolism and letting me be able to eat so much! So I'll still do strength stuff. I'll just use lighter weights on lower body stuff. It still will hurt. ;) Upper body will stay the same until I see it becoming a problem.

But I don't anticipate that because I'm going to focus more on the food. It's hard to put on muscle in a calorie deficit. If I was building muscle then I had to be eating enough food to build it. When you lose weight, it's hard to just lose weight from your fat, it comes from your muscles too. Most of the time this is bad. For me, just now, it's going to be good.

this is actually a tough debate for me right now. I love muscles! After 6 months of trying to build muscles to fire my metabolism and help me lose weight "easily" I'm having a hard time shifting my thinking. But my legs are kind of grossly big! (I know there's some fat there too, but with me, my leg fat is on the inner thigh, but my legs are bulging out on the outer thigh. I can't even pinch any fat on that side. I know it's muscle.) maybe I should write in to some personal trainer or the fitcast or something. But I'm scared they'll just tell me to love having big strong legs and I should enter a fitness competition.

But while I'm debating about all this I think the key is going to be food. Again, right now I'm struggling to keep my head above water. And I hate when people set starting dates. But I'm scheduling this after my holidays. yay holidays. I don't care if I gain 3 pounds over my almost week "off" dieting and whatever. I think it will help me to come back hardcore and kicking ass. So when I'm coming back all hardcore, the key will be nutrition. I'm going to go unofficially low carb. Unofficially, as in I know I won't be anywhere near low carb. But just lower carbs than I have been doing. Right now I could go days eating nothign but carbs. toast with jam for everymeal, even fruit and veggies are all carbs and I love them. I eat the healthy carbs for the most part but just too much of them and not enough protein. I can completely go a day without eating meat or eggs or anything. No good.

Somebody remind me of this later ok?