happy holidays

So who would have thought that I could completely eat like a maniac and still lose weight? Anybody? Well I can. Maybe not a lot, and maybe not fat, could be muscle of course, but I lost almost a pound in the last 6 days. Am I lucky or what? I did not hold back once if I wanted something. I was eating cake and candy and chocolates and giant plate fulls of suppers and juice and booze and dips and more. I do think that my tastes have changed a little bit. I let myself go nuts and have a few "free" days, but I didn't eat as much as I would have guessed. I had a couple cookies as desserts, a square here or there, a hard candy when I passed the bowl. Turkey suppers were 1 full plate, no refills. Really not all that different than I eat at a party or on a "cheat" day. So that's good news. Not to mention, it caused a loss. Go figure. (well I figure it's a metabolism thing and I'm just fueling my metabolism super hot because even after eating a ton at lunch, my stomach would still be growling and I'd be HUNGRY (not just want to eat) a few hours later. That means it's your metabolism right?

Anyway, I had a great little Christmas. Got lots of presents I wanted and a few that I don't (doubles and an inlaw present) so I get to return them and go boxing week shopping! yay! And my poor puppy is sick. She had an awesome time at home on the farm, exploring but she must have explored a bit too far and eaten something too exotic because she is barfing and not eating and having some troubles going potty. She woke up every 2 hours last night to go out and try and go but wouldn't so she'd come in. I'll probably look some stuff up online now. Anybody have ideas?

Also, completely annoyed with my MIL. We got her tickets to a national curling event that she watches on tv every year. 3 days of games and 2 nights in hotel. But all she did was complain about how is she supposed to get time off and can we take it back and just went on and on about how it's not what she wanted and how she doesn't know how she can go. Well one of my SILs offered to take the time off and go with her dad and pay the other siblings back for the ticket, MIL got pissed off like "no you'd pay me for it, it's my ticket. Why would you give them money" well because we got it for you to GO, not for you to have $200. What kind of mother would sooner take the money from her children than a gift that she really actually would like if she got over herself. But hubby was saying that there's never been a year when she's just said "oh thank you I love it." Anything you give her is such a burden to her. I hope I remember this next year and we get her a lump of coal or gift certificate at a gas station. Hopefully she'd use that. Boo her.

Everything else went really good. I got a video MP3 player that I wanted and am so excited about. Hubby also bought me DIAMONDS! I feel guilty about that. Since we could use the money in so many other places. But it's a life's journey necklace from people's. Sorta looks like this but nicer chain with it. The problem is I'm not the type to wear expensive jewelry except on special occasions. I've already got my tear drop pear necklace and earrings from my dad that I never wear and an anniversary present opal necklace from hubby and now this. I probably only wear fancy stuff like that at Christmas and maybe a wedding or something. But I guess things like this do make good heirlooms for kids. It's not that I don't like it, it's just something I don't need. I'm a practical person I guess.

Last night we stopped at Canadian Tire for something hubby needed quick and I bought a body fat analyzer pedometer for $7. I already had a pedometer and never used it. But maybe I will use this one this summer if I set the stride properly for my outside runs. But mostly I wanted the body fat analyzer. I'm not a strict believer in the technology. Like how does it know, throught my thumbs what body fat % I'm at. But at least it should be able to show me if it's going up or down. Also hubby's decided that he wants to lose weight and get in shape because he's tired all the time and when he saw his grandma the first thing she said was "oh you're putting on weight" in the way that just grandma's can get away with.

So anyway, it says I'm 30.5% body fat. and with my height (5'4) and weight (which is now 135.4 by the way, 20 lbs officially lost!) it shows an above average weight symbol. So again this I don't believe so much because I know it's thinking that at 5'4 you're supposed to be like 115 lbs which I have no interest in reaching.

Oh and MIL had no idea that I'd lost 20 lbs. she was shocked. But I guess I don't see her enough for her to remember that fat me. And I'm still wearing the same clothes. Plus this is more like what I looked like when she saw me all the time.

Oh also, I think I'm going to adjust my goals a bit more. I'm thinking that 5 more pounds will not feel bikini ready. So we're going to just leave the number open for now. but it might be more like 10 lbs left to go. 125? But I'll just take a look as I go.

Anyway, I'm so excited to hear about all your Christmases and everything it's probably going to take me a few days to catch up. I've still got holidays until after new years. Plus I'm filling it with boxing week shopping and a little bit of thesis work. Not to mention cleaning up all the Christmas mess that's everywhere. Anyway, hope you all are doing as good as me!

quicky

So I never posted yesterday due to a work seminar thing that lasted all day. I am reeling from it as well. We're going to under go major organizational reconstruction and they're gonna try and get everyone's billable hours higher. Basically we've become complacent at work and just put in the bare minimum so they're going to change that. When I left I felt like I'd been beaten up. they were commenting on how we only even are in the office 8 hours, with lunch and overhead how are we supposed to bill enough hours etc etc. At least it wasn't just me, everyone does the same thing. (we're just a small company, only 20 employees all over the world or so). So that's what i'm dealing with at work, but it'll be off my mind soon, I go on holidays after today! Need a vacation after that.

Anyway, I may post more about that later, but I might be posting less than before. I'm not to upset about it, we do need more structure and organization. Sorta like kids who are glad to be grounded because at least they know the score.

Foodwise, did A-OK yesterday. I had a muffin that wasn't planned but stuck to my one cookie, only 2 triangles of sandwiches. Seemed like not a full sandwich but it might have been. one diet coke. not enough bathroom breaks. (I was dying for awhile) I was wearing my black dress pants that I know used to cause muffin top, but now are too loose, except when I needed to pee, they were too tight then. I swear my belly increased by 4 inches. not exagerating.

WI - 136.4. So a loss of .4. Not too bad at all considering my attitude and everything the last little while. I guess 2 days on track (wednesday was really good too) can save you some times. Actually I'm darn lucky not to see a serious gain. I don't know about this body of mine. Seems to work backwards.

Anyway, I probably won't do much posting for the next week. If you'd like to get your final Christmas weights to me (this will be my final, not weighing at home) I can put together a final spreadsheet about the Challenge. If not, well thanks for doing this Christmas Challenge with me. I know that while I didn't always feel sucessful I did lose weight on it and organizing this thing has helped me to toe the line in at least a few places. So thank you very much for your help!

Merry Christmas!

Wake up!

Hello Randi? Wake the hell up! How could you let TOM screw you so bad on this one? I dunno. I don't think it usually does.

I've hated my last like 5 posts. The whiney - it's too hard right now, I just need a break, I have no time. boo me. That is not Randi. That's something else. Randi says, "screw that, if it's hard it's worth it, time off equals pounds on and god damn make time."

I want Randi back.

So today I am hitting the gym after work. baby steps people. Hopefully just being back in there will flick a switch and I'll be all hard core and pumpy again. I'm not going to eat again this afternoon until I'm hungry in my tummy, not just in my eyes. I will not eat a single piece of cake or cookie or anything tonight. Yeah it's bad to deprive but trust me, I'm not deprived. Tomorrow I'm going to eat half a sandwich, bring some fruit just in case (work meetings all day tomorrow, catered), I can have 1 cookie tomorrow at coffee break. I will also go to the gym tomorrow as well - if not, do a Turbulence Training workout at home. (they worked all summer, why not now? basically squats and lunges and pushups etc) Friday is NOT a write off. It is possible to behave at a Christmas party foodwise and I will prove it. I can also fake it on the drinks, order my own pop so I can skip out when they buy rounds (bosses seem to try and get me drunk at functions like this. They can buy the drinks, doesn't mean I have to drink them.) Last minute trips to the mall etc will not make me eat junk food.
note to self - put some protein bars in the car. Eat those when you're dumb and get crazy starving.

Then it's home time boys and girls. And I think things will get easier. I'm gonna let myself enjoy *some* treats at home but as always I like to feel superior to other people (inlaws) and may let them stuff their faces while I sip my water. we'll see... Plus I'm looking forward to some sledding/snowman/snowfort/snow angel exercise with the neice and nephew. Maybe some hockey. Plus my mom and dad have a treadmill and tons of weights. and it won't be my house so there won't be chores to do. no excuses.

Any help cracking the whip is greatly appreciated over the next couple days.

Stolen thoughts on thoughts

I stole this from Swigg's blog because I love it. Not just the fit and healthy part, but the anti worry part. I hate worry. I don't do it and those who do drive me nuts.

"I think a lot of people screw up because they picture themselves eating the leftover cake in the kitchen, and how good the cake will taste, and what they could have with the cake, and when they'll be able to eat the cake uninterrupted. You can use your visualization powers for good or evil.

It helps to remember that anytime you worry, you're visualizing. You're taking the worst possible scenario and playing it over and over again in your mind. You're giving powerful emotion and energy to what you DON'T want. Most of the time it's a totally subconscious thing. You can do it for hours and never realize it. If you learn to pay attention to your thoughts and direct them in a positive way, that's a huge step toward achieving your fitness goals or anything else."

One for blogger and one for reader. It's a Christmas Challenge!

OMG I forgot about new years

Well I was saying before that by this friday I'd only have Christmas eve that I wanted to look nice for. Well I forgot all about New Year's EVE! The time when I get to dress up sorta cute and hang out with all my friends and I don't want to be fat for that! I hate trying to dress cute and hating all my clothes. I have nice clothes! I might want to wear one of my 2 year old black tops. One is empire waist sort of baby doll like but the belly part is sheer. Can't wear that with rolls. The other is a bit safer, black with cold glitter patterned into it, halter style, halter always looks nice on me. Or I could wear my other new shirt which is sort of ivory and the belly part on that is see through as well.

I'm going to hang the see through black shirt in the kitchen somewhere. I found my motivation for not going nuts over Christmas! yay! (not that I'll necessarily wear it, I've also got a couple skirts that are options, black with white polka dots, but what sort of shirt with that? boxing day shopping?)

oh yeah, what do you think about wearing white pants at new years?

a big BOO for stupidness

As in stupidness of the organizers of my fitness class. BOO! Yesterday at 4:00 I got an email saying that due to "miscommunication and confusion" that my last fitness class was cancelled. BOO! That means I definately didn't get my money's worth out of it. It also means that I didn't exercise yesterday! boo! I was really looking forward to that class. It usually sets up my week and separates the weekend from the work week. (as in weekend's over, stop eating like that). So that really sucked.

Oh, why I didn't get my money's worth? It was still cheap don't get me wrong. It was $35 for the whole fall/winter session. Supposed to be like 13 classes or something. Or you could drop in at $3 a session. Or get a punch card of 12 classes for $40 that you can use at any fitness class (there's strippercize in the new year...) Well we had the last 2 monday classes cancelled, plus there was no class on thanksgiving. So that's only 10 classes I think. So the best deal is actually the drop in! (doesn't make sense, but don't try telling them that, I did already...) I think in the new year I'll buy 2 punch cards and use them for my Monday class and wednesday class and a few strippercize classes. I think they'd be super fun. But it says something about how you shouldn't do it if you have back issues, but mine haven't flared up in a long time so maybe I'll just do it but modify moves if I need to. we'll see.

I made the most of the night however. I made 96 billion meatballs. (5 lbs worth of beef!) I'm freezing half of them and bringing the other half to a potluck tonight. While they were cooking, I made 5 mini fruitcakes. I love fruitcake. But most other people I realize do not. At least not enough for them to make it or buy it. So I do it myself. I give it to my mom who I know likes it. But I'm not sure what to do with the other 3. Is it really that bad to give fruitcakes to people? I'll maybe give one to the MIL too. Maybe bring the rest to my mom's and siblings and everyone can eat it there too. While those were cooking I made homemade protein bars. Though they're not quite as healthy as they should be. It called for sugar free pudding mix and I only had regular pudding mix. So that's what I used. It also called for oatmeal but I decided to put it in the blender and make oat flour (really easy and totally recommended). Plus it said to put it in the fridge over night, but I decided to cook it instead since I think the oat flour made it runnier than it was supposed to be. Anyway, I guess I basically made up my own recipe. It tastes pretty good but it's not that low cal. I'm cutting my pieces smaller though so I think it works out to 200 calories/serving. It's pretty good too. (had a nibble this morning) Sort of brownie like (but butterscotch instead).

So the eating issues continued last night. I for some reason decided not to put all my baking in the freezer again so it's been on the cupboard. I probably had 5 things last night. Oh and here's a public service announcement for you all: stay away from toffifee! You know those crazy delicious little chocolate carmel somethings? Just don't buy them to begin with. They are 45 calories EACH! try having just 1! Hubby has almost eaten the whole box already, like about 65 of them! I had 3 last night.

I also tried to do a tiny mini workout - 10 minutes before bed I did a ton of squats and some ab work and some pushups. I did it in my underware when I was changing for bed, in front of the mirror. Made me realize. My legs aren't getting smaller, they're getting bigger, mind you it's with muscle, but I've got body building man legs. ew. (though it does make my hips look good). Seriously, you can see all these little muscles working and stuff so it's not fat. You know how they say that women shouldn't be worried about bulking up with weight stuff because we don't have the testosterone for it and we're not likely doing heavy enough work for it etc etc? well I always knew I was the exception to that rule. (before I started working out regularly) I could just lift weights like twice and see awesome definition. I started doing side situps and oblique work and my waist go thicker and my pants wouldn't fit because I had built muscle so quickly. I KNOW this about me. So I think I'm going to focus on the cardio over the Christmas break. When the classes start back up, I might switch to lighter weights for the leg stuff too. I really like being strong, but I want nice legs! I think this means some things that are me specific.

As in, this is not an excuse for you to not do weight work! YOU won't bulk up! I am bulking up. First of all - there's no way most of you would have the strength I do for the workouts I do! ;) kidding. but you seriously have to really really work out regularly with heavy weights and stuff so I doubt that's the case anyway. Plus, it's just genetics! when I used to play volleyball, I had all these weird muscles popping out of everywhere that nobody else on the team would get, but we'd be doing the exact same workouts and everything. (like getting that weird muscle connecting the shoulders to the neck, making your neck look really really short. Plus I could flex my calf muscles 3 different ways to make 3 different parts stick out, when I climbed stairs, you could see every muscle working, sorta gross like I had no skin. If that never happened to you by accident then you wont' bulk up!)

So what am I goign to do? lighten the load. I don't want to lose strength or muscle necessarily because that's what's firing my metabolism and letting me be able to eat so much! So I'll still do strength stuff. I'll just use lighter weights on lower body stuff. It still will hurt. ;) Upper body will stay the same until I see it becoming a problem.

But I don't anticipate that because I'm going to focus more on the food. It's hard to put on muscle in a calorie deficit. If I was building muscle then I had to be eating enough food to build it. When you lose weight, it's hard to just lose weight from your fat, it comes from your muscles too. Most of the time this is bad. For me, just now, it's going to be good.

this is actually a tough debate for me right now. I love muscles! After 6 months of trying to build muscles to fire my metabolism and help me lose weight "easily" I'm having a hard time shifting my thinking. But my legs are kind of grossly big! (I know there's some fat there too, but with me, my leg fat is on the inner thigh, but my legs are bulging out on the outer thigh. I can't even pinch any fat on that side. I know it's muscle.) maybe I should write in to some personal trainer or the fitcast or something. But I'm scared they'll just tell me to love having big strong legs and I should enter a fitness competition.

But while I'm debating about all this I think the key is going to be food. Again, right now I'm struggling to keep my head above water. And I hate when people set starting dates. But I'm scheduling this after my holidays. yay holidays. I don't care if I gain 3 pounds over my almost week "off" dieting and whatever. I think it will help me to come back hardcore and kicking ass. So when I'm coming back all hardcore, the key will be nutrition. I'm going to go unofficially low carb. Unofficially, as in I know I won't be anywhere near low carb. But just lower carbs than I have been doing. Right now I could go days eating nothign but carbs. toast with jam for everymeal, even fruit and veggies are all carbs and I love them. I eat the healthy carbs for the most part but just too much of them and not enough protein. I can completely go a day without eating meat or eggs or anything. No good.

Somebody remind me of this later ok?

oh I know!

Hey so why am I all ugh? Could it be TOM? could it have played a role in my lack of willpower? could it have played a role in that fight? could it have played a role in my lack of productivity and laziness on the weekend? Maybe. I have got to plan ahead a little bit better with this. I know it's coming! I always expect the bad things to start when TOM starts, but it starts the week before with me and I'm fine the week of. So 3 weeks from now I have to start making my life foolproof (premade meals, make gym commitments, start using zit zapper face wash ;) ). Then I won't be suprised by it all like I always am.

uuuuuggghhhh

So that's what I feel like. It was an ugh weekend. I don't know what the problem is, I think I need my christmas holidays.

I used to be so productive and efficient on the weekends. This weekend sucked in that regard. It was kind of busy and had a few late nights that made me want to sleep in and be lazy. So that's what I did.

I can't wait for summer when I can run outside on the weekends again. Changes the whole day.

Anyway, friday we had a Christmas party with a bunch of friends. I brought some baking and the tortilla rollups. There were a bunch of other dips and stuff too. I had 2 slices of a small frozen pizza for supper (560 calories, totally fine) but still had the munchies at the party, and I didn't want to restrict myself at the party since it was one of the Christmas parties I was looking forward to. So I was eating when I wasn't hungry. and I realized it at the time and said "oh well I'll just be good the rest of the weekend".

The saturday I just did a bit of stuff around the house while hubby was at work. a bit of laundry or whatever. Went to visit hubby at lunch at work. So I brough a sub which we split (my half with mustard and no cheese) so that was a nice healthy lunch. good. Don't even know what went on the rest of the day. Just so blah, watched movies and stuff. Was supposed to be shopping and finishing Chrsitmas but I never. I did wrap presents at least.

Then saturday night we had another Christmas party/birthday to go to. Fun again. but we just grabbed supper on the way over. (I had 1 slice of pizza at 5, so like 300 calories-ish earlier) and hubby wanted mcdonalds. so I just had a fruit and yogurt parfait. But I ate half of one of hubbies double cheeseburgers. There were snacks at the party so I had a few things. Not to bad. But some cheese and a few cookies. I decorated a can of nuts and brought that over so I had some of those too.

Hubby and I had some sort of weird blow out fight on the way home from that one. It was the kind where hubby just was mad at me for everything and I didn't know what we were fighting about. So he's saying how I'm "always saying" whatever or "never let him" whatever and putting words in my mouth and so I say no I never said that, and he changes topics into something else and gets mad at me for something else. I was mad at him for fighting like a jerk. He slept on the couch and I cried myself to sleep. In the morning he was sorry and acting normal-ish but I was still really hurt that he was such a jerk. So when we made up I tried to figure out what the fight was about and you know "learn" something from it. But I basically boiled down to him saying that he was a jerk and it was all his fault and that he just wouldn't do it again and he'd stop being mean. Yeah, heard that one before buddy. You know I can't just say in the middle of our next fight "you promised you wouldn't be mean any more!". That would really go over. Boo hubby!

But then Sunday was more movie watching and house cleaning. I also made Frogs, (thank you Carolyn, very very good, and easy!) and then I made these spinach and feta triangles in phyllo dough. YUM! and pretty easy! very fancy seeming. I love phyllo dough! Makes me look like a pro chef! I'm not sure how well they'll keep without getting soggy. The plan is to have them at home over Christmas.

Then sunday night was my dad's Christmas party thing. I wasn't too hungry before it, because I had a couple spinach things at 3:30, supper was at 5. But I ordered chicken and pork tenderloin. Came with soup, and salad, and rolls, and I had a fancy umbrella drink (just 1). So I wasn't hungry at all for supper. But then I ate most of it. including most of the baked potato with sour cream and chives. AND about half a berry cheesecake dessert. Hubby and I went to Walmart afterwards and my stomach was just killing me. It was so stretched I felt like I'd pop. Bad form Randi. It's not like it was bad food and even half a cheesecake isn't terrible. But when you aren't hungry to begin with, it's no good at all.

I'm losing steam folks! That's why I think I need my holidays! weeks have just been flying, but I'm just not on top of it lately. Lack of gym time I betcha.

This week I've got my last class tonight. Then tuesday is a potluck (I think I'll try Angie's meatballs), so probably no gym. not likely enough time to get it done, get home and back in the city and not be all stinky. Wednesday I'll hit the gym since there's no class. Then thursday is Professional Development day at work, so just presentations all day (oh oh catered food!) so it's up in the air whether I'll make the gym after, not sure when it ends. Hopefully gym time. Then friday is work Christmas party starting in the afternoon (10 pin bowling so that's sort of exercise right?) then big supper and all that later on. no gym then. Saturday is paking and going home (or maybe sunday, depends how ready we are for Christmas).

I think starting when we get home I'm going to turn my brain off a bit, including the weight loss thinking. Like I said, I need a break. Some things won't change, I still try and eat veggies and steer clear of full fat foods etc, but I'm not going to feel guilty about food and just eat what I feel like. I seem to be slipping into that right now anyway so I just need a bit of a break where it's ok. So from Dec 22 until Dec 26th, it might be a bit of a free for all. Then when hubby has to go back to work and i'm at home again, it might be more structured, I'll try and get some more workouts in and eat more salads and stuff. Then January it's back to kick assing. Does that seem like a cop out or cheating? I think I need to not worry about sucking my gut in for a bit. Besides, the main things I wanted to look good for are over except for my work Christmas party friday (so really gonna try and be strict until then) and Christmas eve. Christmas day I wanna just stay in my pjs anyway all day.

Oh and to top of the ugh feeling. Our alarm didn't go off this mornign, making both hubby and I late for work (less of a big deal at my job, nobody really notices, but the billable time does!). Hubby has an incentive program at work where you earn a monthly bonus based on no missed days and being late (he works with a bunch of people who'll call in sick every friday after a thursday paycheck, so you need a doctor note now to still get your bonus) so he might have just lost his $400 bonus for December. But he also thinks it might only be when they're busy, so it could have ended in December. Boo to that anyway!

WI!

Forgot to remind the Christmas Challengers to get your WIs to me by monday for probably the last results post before Christmas! (I'm sorry, I don't think I'll post next week on Christmas eve, maybe a summary sometime after Christmas)

work is going so much better!

I was avoiding work hard all week (and we're starting a new billable hours thing so that SUCKS!) but today it's all of a sudden a lot better. I really have to learn to ask for help much sooner. I just hate talking to people, but I always feel better afterwards.

Speaking of hating talking to people. Why is my first instinct when invited to a Christmas party to try and find a way out of it? I was invited to a potluck next tuesday with a bunch of grad study *friends*. Sorta like past work friends I guess. They're not close friends whom I do stuff with regularly, but the twice a year kind of friends. I'd have fun. I like them, it's good to catch up on stuff. But I replied saying I can't, lying saying my dad was in town. But then I re-replied saying oh, nevermind, dates mixed up, sure I'll come. (I had to talk myself into that re-reply). I'm not completely comfortable with those people I know that. (at my thesis supervisor's house, and he's an awesome guy, but it's sort of like, why aren't you done yet? oops) Plus hubby doesn't like them because he has issues about being inadequate. I think they're his issues because everyone there is very nice to him and asks him about work and I don't think they're being degrading and they'll talk about what he wants to talk about. But he always puts on some kind of act and tells jokes and I can tell he's uncomfortable. They've all got advanced degrees and hubby works at a lumber yard. (mind you he's very very good at his job and just recently got a raise and a promotion and I know he basically runs the show at the company). It's sort of the same as how I feel when I'm with all these people...wait nevermind. I'm totally always the "superior" one! sounds vain but true! I've got the advanced degree (almost), I'm making more money (thought it's not a lot), I've already got a house and husband and car paid off. We don't have any credit card debt. Hardly any line of credit debt (which I blame hubby for entirely). I'm healthy, in shape, have nice hair. Gosh I'm great...

I have a very healthy self worth?

I guess it's how I feel when I go shopping with skinny people. They don't say anything to make you feel bad on purpose and probably even tell you that you look really cute trying stuff on and are even genuine, but then they buy the size 2's or smalls or whatever and you instantly feel uncomfortable with your large and 6-8s. NOW you guys know what I mean right?

But I decided to go to that potluck, don't know what I'll bring, the only thing I'm super pro at is appetizers. Everything else is meh, it's ok. And I've been given no instructions as to main course, side dish, dessert anything. So I'm wide open for suggestions of what's your awesomest potluck dish that makes you look like a hero (but then give me the recipe so I get to look like a hero and steal your glory). They can even be completely terrible for you, I don't have to worry about other people's health do I? ;)

Also, tell me why I wanted to get out of going? What's with that?

Why no comments today?

Oh yeah, because I haven't posted yet.

So I had myself a WI this morning, I won't dwell on it. It was only a 0.2 lb loss. I know that it had to do with muscle soreness and water and all that since I was still sore this morning from my wednesday class (that means it was a good one). And I did see a sneak peak of a magical number earlier. But that stupid magical number made me not satisfied with this mystical number that appeared today. 136.8. I've never seen that 136 before. It's still super awesome. But that 5 made me not satisfied! I've tasted blood and I want more....

wow dark.

So let's talk about my eating habits. I always have a small panick in the morning when packing my lunch that I won't have enough food. I always do, and I don't even eat everything I bring. But for the 1 time when I get hungry it makes me anxious every morning. Luckily I'm limited by the size of my lunch kit. It usually consists of a main meal type thing, basically some tupperware that barely fits - a salad, leftover supper, sandwhich or soup. Then another tupperware with fruit. Often grapes or pineapple. Usually a tiny yogurt and a cheese string. Then I panick. I try and pack an apple and an orange in there just in case. And then some almonds. or maybe carrots. Or maybe celery and dip (because who can stand celery plain). Sometimes I also pack a granola bar or protein bar if I'm extra panicky or think I'll be super hungry for some reason.

I rarely am.

today I had leftover mashed potatoes and meatloaf mixed together (approximately 1 cup?). Morning snack was grapes (I really only like seeded grapes, weird huh?) I also had yogurt with lunch. Now I'm sort of satisfied - but my mouth isn't. so I'll probably eat my pear. I've had an apple I left here all week (to make room in the lunch kit - just in case). I've got carrots for afternoon munchies when I just feel like doing the hand to mouth thing, plus my cheese stick. I likely won't eat my orange or my apple today. They were just in case. Same with the almonds and the big bag of emergency mixed nuts I keep in my desk (and NEVER eat).

I know a few months ago I would have replaced at least 1 fruit with a pudding cup or granola bar. So I'd say that's a victory. Plus I'm not particularly as hungry come snack time, nor am I eating as big of snacks as I used to. yay.

Breakfast hasn't changed much except to get rushed. So less toasts (boo) and more protein yogurts (eaten on the road or at work). More cereal as well (particularly Kashi crunch stuff or Special K vanilla).

Suppers however, haven't changed an aweful lot that i've noticed. SIL has been cooking lately but when I cook and plan meals, I don't really cook anything different than I ever have. I still can have frozen pizza for supper, or hamburgers or pot roast. I do eat a lot of chicken because I like it. But we still have smokies and other bad stuff. I guess I've changed my thinking on the whole "balanced meal" perspective. Growing up it was always, meat, starch, vegetable and milk. But I can live without the starch now. I rarely eat rice or potatoes with a meal unless it's the main thing (like spaghetti). I think my portions are smaller now too. I know that I'm less STARVING when I come home from work now. I used to not be able to handle it and eat crackers or something until everyone was home and it was supper time. Granted we are eating earlier in the winter. But gotta love afternoon snacks!

Ok, so I just realized that even I am bored writing that (and it's all about me!) So sorry.

So what's on my weekend? thank you for asking Carolyn! ;)

Friday - Christmas/games/birthday party. At my sister's boyfriend's. so basically like my sister is throwing a party. I'm bringing my spicy roll ups (tres yummy recipe below) and I was going to bring more but she said not to bother since the guys who live there just went crazy shopping and buying food for the party (guys aren't gonna cook!) We're gonna bring over a bunch of board games since one year for Christmas we asked for party games and ended up getting 7 different ones in that 1 year. So we'll probably bring over Scene It (movie, music and disney editions). Plus maybe Cranium or poker or Battle of the Sexes or Rumoli or Mindtrap or that word one with the buzzer. Everyone usually likes scene it but I like the other ones better. Seems too much like watching tv to me. boo.

I'm not sure how late we'll stay because hubby's gotta work saturday. We just found out it was one of his buddies birthdays today too but since he didn't plan as well, and the other folks told us first we're not going to his birthday. (it is however a birthday of one of the people who will be at the games party too). Since hubby's probably going to keep it tame, I may drink at this party. See how it goes.

RANT: When I volunteer to drive, I usually don't have a drop of alcohol. Maybe a drink with supper if we're not leaving until like after midnight. When it's hubby's turn to drive, he will drink light beer and he tells me he is still fine to drive. However I can sometimes tell when this isn't the case and therefore will quit drinking myself so I can drive us home. There was an extreme situation where I was at a stagette and hubby was going to drive. But he ended up going to a party with people he didn't know and getting so wasted he was passed out on our friend's couch (and had puked in their sink) and I literally had to slap him to wake him up. I said, "I thought you said you would drive" and he replied "I'm fine...where are the keys?" with his eyes closed before he passed out again. Ass. So that's happened once and I'm sure that hubby does have a very high tolerance to alcohol and can have more than I can and still be under the limit. BUT the first thing alcohol does to you is impair your sense of self and your ability to judge yourself impartially. So the first thing alcohol does is screw up your perception of how drunk you are. So even if you are fine, you'll never know if you just think your fine because the alcohol makes you think that, or if you really are fine. Anyway, that's part of the reason that I drink so rarely, because even if it's hubby's turn to drive, I may have to drive anyway. I'd rather drive with myself who I know is sober, than get drunk and trust hubby to drive even though he says he's fine. BOO HUBBY! Everytime they come with something on the news about making stiffer penalties for drunk driving I'm torn. Part of me really wants hubby to get a ticket or to be in a minor accident (MINOR!) so that he learns his lesson. And part of me wants a stiff penalty so maybe that will be enough to deter him. (first offense lose your license for a year and they impound and sell your car? Yes please.)

Anyway, rant aside.

Saturday hubby's at work and I am finishing Christmas prep. Try and finish shopping (parents and inlaws check and check, waiting on the mail) and maybe wrapping. Hopefully get some kitchen time in as well. I want to make a few more holiday treats so I can bring home an assortment for my parents (who aren't baking because they don't have time nor do they want all that food around when they shouldn't really have it much, high cholesterol). So I want to bring home SOME, so they can have a few treats, basically while we're home, but not be left with all this leftovers through January. Plus any that I don't want after Christmas I can always send to work and be a hero. Saturday night we may be getting together with hubby's friend who's birthday we're not going to on friday. up in the air.

Sunday, nothing until late afternoon. So continue the christmas stuff from saturday. Late afternoon is dad's company Christmas party. As I mentioned before this is just a family supper out at a fancy-ish place. But it should be fun. I love my family.

While yeah there's the possibility for some MAJOR over eating, I think I'll be ok. I'm going to be a little relaxed on myself tonight. Maybe have just a salad for supper (or maybe nothing) so I can enjoy the appetizers and baking at the party. no problems saturday, and sunday at the restaurant, I'll just watch portion and quit when I'm full. I can basically order anything I want though, I'm not really drawn to the super bad stuff, I like my salads and chicken etc.

Yesterday I made a mistake. Sorta. I was doing some cooking for the party. I made the rollups. And then I got creative with phyllo dough. I made these little cups that I'm gonna fill with coolwhip and berries or something. I'll take a picture probably. But I was reading the packaging and it had a recipe for apple strudel. Hey! I wanted to use up some apples! So I made it. With an adjustment to use up the rest of the cream cheese as well. Oops. THEY ARE AMAZING! tastes just like bakery strudels! OMG! apple, cream cheese, pastry, sugar. I know that I'm going to have it gone by monday. terrible me! I think I'll plan to have it as an indulgent breakfast tomorrow and then hopefully pawn the rest of on hubby or something. maybe freeze it. The worst part is that now I know I can make it and it's easy so I'll be asking myself to make it all the time!

Stop thinking of it and it will go away.

I'll eat my pear now.

here's the recipe for the spicy roll ups:

1 cup sour cream

1 cup cream cheese

1 cup grated cheddar or mozza

1/4? cup hot peppers from a jar, chopped up really finely (more or less depending how hot you like it)

5-ish tortillas.

garlic, green onion, whatever other little tidbits you want, not necessary though

You can use light or low fat whatever you want.

Mash up everything and spread in a tortilla, rollup, slice into 1 cm thick pieces. sometimes works better if you make ahead and leave in the fridge unsliced until serving. Super good, everyone will love you and make you bring it at every function and you'll feel guilty for how darn easy it is.

Figures

The scale was not as kind this morning but eh? what does it matter? The scale doesn't make or break me. ( you know that's for you ) ;)

Actually there is a weird disconnect lately with the scale. It shows I'm losing weight. And I do feel more comfortable and smaller clothes are fitting (I never told you about the awesome jeans I fit into now. 2 different pair that I'd given up on!) but just looking in the mirror it doesn't feel different. I still see too much lower belly budge and my legs aren't slimming down at all. Lost all my weight in my boobs. Boo.

I think what's happening is that I'm losing all over, so my whole shape is shrinking, that's why smaller clothes are fitting but I still look the same. It hard to compare to pictures even because you dont' know how close the camera is ya know? oh well. I'm assuming that if I keep this up my legs and belly will eventually shrink more in proportion to everything else. At least I really like my butt now. (stay on the positives)

So lucky little me gets to call it a day early today! Yay doctor app't! well it's only to renew my b.c. so I can say yay about it. hehe. In Jan I've got the less fun doctor appointment. boo.

So no gym tonight. But I think I'm ok with that. I had a really hard class last night. Since monday was canceled she decided to do the Monday strength stuff with the wednesday cardio. Normally we leave squats and leg stuff out on wed because with the step routines we do tons of squats etc already. But she put them both in. I could hardly stand when we were done lunges! boo! well yay. I do have to confess that I felt myself not really pushing it during the cardio though. I was pushing it HARD but not going for broke. I think that's still ok. I just wasn't having the energy for all the jumping. I don't know what's happened to me, but for weeks now I feel like I haven't had a really really good workout. They've all kicked my butt too hard. I guess that's good that i'm working hard, but it just feels like I should be able to work harder, or that what I'm doing shouldn't make me as tired as it is. I was thinking it had something to do with eating, as in I wasn't fuelling my body enough for the workouts, but I don't think that's it anymore. I was all carbed up before from supper. (which consisted of 3 toasts with pb and jam. I know, that's terrible. 3? ugh)

This morning I was the only one in my house who had to go to work. That sucks. But for some reason it inspired me to make eggs for breakfast. I don't know why, can't see how they're related but they were in my mind. So I made scrambled egg whites (I just poured a ton out of a carton, don't know how much, but egg whites are super low cal so I feel justified eating my face of of them). But I had to have 1 toast to go with. I don't know what's with me and toast! at least it's whole wheat!

Then I was late this morning because I couldn't get out of the garage. Dumb! But SIL parked her truck in the driveway which normally doesn't matter but she got to stay home. So I managed to wiggle my way around her truck, but I was backing up and straightening out and then running in to something (no dents or whatever, just the tire hit some garage tool thingy) and trying again. It took me probably 10 minutes. And must have been hilarious for all my neighbours to watch as they left for work at the same time. Boo.

so obviously don't have a lot to talk about today! Hmm. I guess I'll go then. I'm sure I'll have more to say tomorrow (or maybe later on). Tonight will be full of food since I'm making appetizers for a party tomorrow, plus I've got apples going bad so need to do something with them. Ideas and suggestions for both welcome!

Do you see what I see......

(turns out I've used that title before...)

Well I peeked at the scale this morning because I wanted to do some measurements and that just goes on the same day. Measurements - happy news! in the last month I've lost 1/2 an inch from some key areas, butt/hips, waist, even my thigh lost almost an inch. so yay! And what did the little old scale show me?

135.8

WHAT! That's my magic number in the ones place! a 5! After it became unrealistic to reach my full Christmas Challenge goal I tweaked it (in my mind at least) to be at 135 for Christmas. (that's only 5 lbs from my ultimate goal!)

So I'm looking darn good for my adjusted CC goal as well as for my overall goal early in the new year! Now if only there were occasions to wear bikini's at the end of January!

I am so pumped about this folks. I didn't really expect myself to be so successful with this go around of losing weight. Once I got out of the fat me and back into the comfortable me I was half expecting to get stalled here forever, like has always happened before. But now for the first time I'm actually seeing that not only CAN I do this (if I stay focused and try hard and blah blah) but I AM DOING THIS! How freakin' cool am I?

So now that I think I'm all freaky awesome, how much you wanna bet the scale turns mean for friday? though I'm not expecting any hiccups along the way. Today is class, might mean a gain due to the extreme muscle work we do. Should be gone by friday though. Thursday I've got a doctor app't at 3:00 that is playing havoc with my schedule though. I go to the doctor in my town which is outside the city, so gotta leave at 2:30. Guaranteed won't be done and out of there until 3:30, when are doctors on time? So do I then drive back into the city for 1/2 hour of work and needless kms on the car? or stay home and make supper etc (not to mention hubby has thursday off so get to see him even sooner). But that will interfere with my gym going schedule since I go after work on thursdays in the city. but I could workout at home and also get a jump on laundry and finish up Christmas baking.... dilemas.

I'm thinking I'll just stay home. But I feel guilty about the gym then. But I'll take the dog for a walk and maybe jog if it's ok out. (supposed to be only -9C, we've been in a deep freeze of highs -20 to -15 for the past week, boo) also might hit up some pilates/yoga during tv so it should be alright. I'll try and remember that when eating on thursday.

I was gonna say I could gym on friday but we've got plans to go to a games party and I have to bring appetizers so I need to make them friday after work so I don't really have time. but maybe I can make them on thursday night (not eat any) then gym on friday after work. Even if it's a short one. Yes that's my plan.

I don't think I'm gonna drink on friday again. I told myself it's ok to have a drink or two at holiday parties. Find occassions that are worth it and cut loose a little. But I really don't like the taste of any booze! I'm looking forward to drinking diet rootbeer all night. I like the taste of that so much more and it's still a special treat for myself. (I drink pop only sometimes, when I'm in a bar, or when I deserve a "treat" and don't want it to be food)

Plus I'm expecting a high cal weekend. Saturday I've gotta finish Christmas shopping. So that means being out an about and trying to avoid fast food. (anybody have a recipe for homemade protein bars? I bought vanilla protein powder but I don't really like shakes)

Then sunday my dad is having his "company" Christmas party. He's got his own business of tax consulting that my mom works for too, and there's an "associate" who basically is an independant guy, own charge rates own clients etc, but they share the company name. So there's 3 people that work for that company, and us kids used to help with shredding paper, filing etc for an hour here and there growing up to earn $5. So we were "casual" employees. Well he's having his Christmas party at a fancy restaurant in town which basically means he's taking his family and friend out for supper and gets to write it off as a business expense. But I was trying to convince him to do it like a real Christmas office party where there are bonus cheques and maybe door prizes and awkward small talk and a speech by the company president. Oh yeah, and free booze too. Not sure just what it's going to be but there will be a big restaurant meal maybe dessert and appetizers and maybe drinks. All courtesy of CSTP (his business). Should be fun. No real restrictions. This is in leiu of my Saturday night "cheat night". It will be sunday.

So yesterday and today I found myself not too hungry at morning snack time. Maybe it's because i'm busy at work I'm not just watching the minutes tick by. But I ended up eating just a few almonds today at 11:00, similar yesterday. Afternoons, I just think of food at 2:30 so I eat something. But for the last 2 days at 3:30 I've had a diet coke. I don't know why. Just wanted a "treat" I guess. Not a fan of that though, we've got coke zero at work for non-coffee drinkers (and regular coke) but this stuff gives me an aspertame headache. Somethings do and some don't. This does. boo. None today thank you. pass the water.

Yesterday's gyming was good. A nice solid chin-up session. (I feel like I haven't gotten any better but I know I have. My hands get sore now, not my muscles. I can do more than 5 like previously, I just wanna quit then, I try and push through it though) And I had a super good run on the treadmill. I went fast and inclined. And for a full 30 minutes with a 1 minute warm up and a 1 minute mid way recovery of walking. My feet hurt! I'm planning on getting new shoes but I overheard that the running room in town is having a big sale in January so I'm trying to hold out. My current shoes are Walmart and just weren't made for the miles I'm putting on them. Not to mention, weren't really made for my feet since they never felt great.

I'm sure I'll post later today again so come on back now ya hear?

the grandma thing

Well what I forgot to mention is that "scary" looking 86 year old grandma only started working out at age 73 when she couldn't carry the giant bag of kitty litter that was on sale to the checkout. She decided that she needed to turn things around or she wouldn't be able to take care of herself. Her whole thing is about independance.

that other old grandma uses a walker and has in home help during the week and has to rely on family for the weekends and feels like a burden to her children.

ok I made that up about the white haired grandma but I wouldn't be suprised if that was the case.

You guys missed the point!

And yeah I'd be freaked out if my grandma was posing in string bikini's but I'd sooner be a grandma that can play with my grandkids instead of just having them arranged on my lap for a picture and having to get help picking them up.

Just because she could break them in half doesn't mean she's gonna!

One of my "themes" of weight loss and fitness is preventative. I didn't want to regret not doing something and it kicking me in the ass later. Like "if only I didn't smoke I wouldn't be dying now" sorta thing. So I'm trying to live as healthy as possible now. I don't want to say "if only I didn't carry around 30 extra pounds my whole life, my cholesterol and heart would be better" or "if only I took a multivitamin every day then I wouldn't...be going blind" I don't really know what all the healthy things I do are preventing or whatever but what's that saying? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I'd sooner be strong and be able to carry my own kitty litter than be a burden or at least feel like a burden.

Another reason to workout - with weights!

Which would you sooner look like when you're a grandma?






Option A: An 86 year old woman who just went across a zipline or something. (didn't really read the article and mean no offence to this woman)...

Or Option B? An 86 year old body builder. (and she's only started at 73!)

Christmas Challenge Week 11 Results!

Carolyn's still having problems with posting these so we thought I'd do it. Here ya go! look at how good we're doing (by that I mean me for a change! hehe!) With just 2 weeks until Christmas let's all try and lose 1 more pound. How's that for a goal? Doable? You betcha! (except of course for those of you now on maintain - eh hem Shari, you just cheer us on)

fyi about my hubby

Oh yeah, the secretary is totally cougary. She's all skinny and wears young person clothes (almost inappropriately) and is really giddy and life of the party kind of person. (though she is very nice to me anytime I've seen her). It exactly the sort of thing that any normal person would be upset about and see where it's wrong and everything. But my husband doesn't see what normal people see. He's completely missing the part of the brain that tells him where lines are and when it's ok to cross them. He always sticks his foot in his mouth. I was saying before he'll say the exact thing to avoid saying to certain people (I'm pretty sure I warned him not to mention "dave" to this woman but he goes and asks "so how's your husband?" and they just got divorced and she was now dating his brother. awkward!)

Another time he was describing me to a bunch of my friends as a "butterball turkey", but all he meant was cold fingers and toes all the time. Our couple friends will tease him about it and say "ok, this is when you shut up" and he'll say something else and they'll tell him "no buddy, dig up, you're in deep enough...". It's partly my fault for letting him get away with this for almost 10 years (yes we've been together this long). Now trying to put my foot down is confusing to him, I get that (I'm training a dog here, the similarities are eerie!). But I've told him before how certain things bother me and to not do it again, even if it's harmless in his eyes. But he never remembers. I think we need to do a couples class. Like how you have to do before you get married, (at least in our church) and it's like a weekend class with worksheets about chores and kids and sex and all kinds of stuff. Seemed dumb at the time but did help (for awhile...).

Hubby is very spoiled, I am a very easy going laid back kinda wife. I remind him of this constantly, saying "you know, if you were married to Erin, she would not let you get away with that" but all he'd say is that Erin is anal and a spoiled princess and thank god I'm not like her. Seems he thinks I'm the norm and everyone else is a ball busting overbearing wife. Little does he know. I'm too good to him...

Oh just so you know, we made up. Hubby said sorry and I said for what, and he said that I didn't ruin his night like he accused me of and that he was just in a bad mood. So it wasn't for leaving me alone or for fighting with me about nothing. But at least he appologized.

Stay tuned for a more interesting post later. I'm sure I'll think of something.

I am not getting ahead

In the blog reading that is. I was going to do a real post about my weekend after I caught up but it's not happening. What with sprinkling a little bit of work in there too.

So my holiday weekend was good. I had a happy WI on friday as I mentioned and then got busy shopping! I spent like an hour in this one store's change room because I loved absolutely everything and it all was looking nice so I had to go back and forth between a million options. I ended up buying a black skirt that is really similar to the one I sewed (only black not grey and just a bit more polished) and a satiny blouse kind of top (that normally I don't like, but just looked so perfect with this skirt). I wore it on saturday but we didnt' take any pictures. more coming up. I also had a massage which was awesome. Not to intense. But right afterward I was running around I think I ruined any relaxation that would have happened. We got the check from the insurance on hubby's car that was totaled off - $1600! So then hubby and I went back to the mall for more shopping spree! I also bought 2 t-shirts, a long sleeve t-shirt, 3 necklaces, 2 hats, a dressy tank top thing, and a shawl/wrap/sweater thing. That with my skirt and shirt earlier probably totalled $100. I am such a good shopper! And I was pleasantly suprised in all the change rooms, I was a solid 7 skirts, large for 3 shirts, medium for 2 and small for the sweater. (and it wasn't just one store was larges, one store was medium, it was both in 1 store, very odd)

I was telling hubby how I wanted a different color but they were out of my size in something and he joked "they ran out of 4XL giant porker did they?" because he's crude and jokes like that (seriously meant it lightly, he thinks I'm skinny) and I sort of pouted and was like "well I'm a large..." and he was all shocked and said that store must be a kids store or something. So I guess that was sweet of him in the end...

We ended up eating supper in the food court (oh yeah, I was running late for my massage so my lunch was bought at a coffee stand in the mall, a banana and a piece of banana bread with a bottle of water. I'm so proud of myself for resisting the cinnamon buns and paying stupid amount of money for a banana!) So I had a soup and sandwich. I was planning on getting mustard with my sandwich but she didn't even ask and put some kind of mayo sauce stuff on. I should have said something but I never. (and I really didn't want it and really did want mustard, not just a fat thing) oh well. And I had some kind of brothy soup that wasn't very good so I didn't eat much. Not bad at all. But then hubby and I went on a "date" to a restaurant for drinks (1 martini) and spinach dip. So again, not too bad.

Saturday I spent the day making another snowman for MIL, and cleaning up the house. Then time to get ready for hubby's christmas party for work. I looked smoking! (I learned how to use liquid eyeliner! lol!) and wore my new (black, high waisted, pencil) skirt and (lilac satin with rhinestone button) blouse. with my new necklace and old shoes. Plus my hair was cooperating. Love that. But not pictures because I wasn't having fun at the party (though I didn't over eat, I ate a very full plate of salads and veggies with some chicken and potatoes, so a big meal, but not stupid, though I guess I had 2 desserts...) because I don't like anybody we were sitting with. Not just that I don't LIKE them, but I DISLIKE them. So that sucked. So I basically sat quietly by myself all night. There was a magician/mind reader guy and he was good, but our table was the annoying one yelling stuff out all night and interupting his show. I hated that! So I'm explaining this to hubby on the drive home and he gets all pissed off at me saying how I always complain and couldn't I just accept that it was his night and not about me and just grin and bare it once in awhile? etc etc. (we always have this fight, about how I didn't have fun at something. But the thing is, HE doesn't like these people either! He tells me all the time - when he's complaining about work everyday!) Plus I was trying to explain that it was disrespectful for him to be flirting with everyone while I was right there. Yes he flirts with the (old) secretary at work and it's just sort of a joking thing, but she won a prize of a night in a hotel and my hubby was trying to convince her to take him. Yeah it was funny and not serious. But I still felt like it was inappropriate for him to do right in front of me or while I was sitting by myself at another table with people I don't like. Does anybody have any help for me on this one? (also, does anybody else hate being left alone at things like this? Yes hubby has to mingle, but couldn't he bring me?)

So we were fighting on the way home so I couldn't exactly ask him to pose for a picture of us looking all nice. Then hubby goes and brings it up in front of roomie SIL so she knows we're fighting too. boo. And sunday was just us avoiding each other and doing our own thing. I was making cards but then went to some friends for games and stuff. I ate a bit too many treats there but really for me, it was a successful weekend. Supper was only toast.

Oh yeah, that reminds me, I made homemade veggie spring roll things! Like cold rolls wrapped in rice paper (sort of see-through, white, sticky wrapped things) They taste great and are nice and low cal yet filling. Plus I made spicy peanut sauce to go with them. I'm awesome.

www.12daysoffitness.com

This www.12daysoffitness.com actually has some pretty awesome stuff in it. A lot that I've heard already but I have found it worthwhile to download a few of the things (articles or videos etc). So check it out and so far I haven't found a catch. Just a bit of junk mail that you can unsubscribe to.

I thought I'd sum up one of the articles that I think would be helpful to some of you. I won't name names but I thought distinctly of 4 of my bloggy friends when reading it. Basically it's about cutting the crap and busting excuses. Here are the common excuses/thinking people had and why it sucks:

Lack of Initiative - start monday approach.
There's nothing special about monday. If you start TODAY (which happens to be monday but that's a coincidence) you'll see results that much faster. What if monday isn't "perfect" and there's something you didn't forsee, will you wait until next monday? Set yourself over a week back? Why not start now?

Search for easier way
Society has trained us to do things the easiest way and it's good for most stuff but not for fat loss. Switching to a new diet, or buying a new fitness gadget or drinking a new shake will not make you thin. There IS no easy way. Stop looking and just get working on the hard way.

Taking it easy on yourself
(I do this a little bit) Aside from injuries or being a beginner or something there's no reason not to give your full effort all the time. Doing "easy" exercise on the treadmill or skipping weights (eh hem) will not get me the results I want. I might as well not have put the time in at all. Same with food, just cutting back to 1 cookie a day isn't good. I quote "Stop babying yourself. Just because you are not totally comfortable with something does not mean you can’t do it." Again don't hurt yourself and go nuts.

Inconsistancy
(here I am again) one step forward and two steps back will not work. If you set up a plan you have to stick to it. You can only eat your points, or whatever calories or whatever. If your program is cardio 3 days a week, then 2 isn't ok. if you start slipping it will snowball. (hello how did we get fat to begin with?)

Feeling overwhelmed by what it takes
Feel like you'll never be able to lose all that weight? Scared to try out the weight room? So is everyone! But don't let it get the best of you. Think of all the great things people have done that must have been really scary and they overcame their fear and showed braveness, and all you have to do is go to the gym! You can do it. A journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step.

Easy frustration
(wow me) ever have a stay the same when you were expecting a loss? No reason to give up (or even change anything!). Scales don't tell the whole story. Some pounds really are harder to lose than others. Give it a few weeks minimum of being seriously on plan. Then if there's still nothing, maybe reevaluate your plan, reevaluate your expectionations. But this is a patience game.

Pessimism
I don't even want to talk to you if you're a pessimist. I hate you. You're dumb. Change your thinking. then I'll talk to you. (though the article says much better an inspirational things than this)

Excuses
(ok me again) "Let me start this section by saying that there are no excuses for cheating on your workouts. You can always find a way to get something in, unless you become temporarily disabled by injury or serious illness, or unless there is a real emergency that you have to deal with." Ok ok. if it's a time problem, become more efficient, find time. prioritize. If it's energy, or a don't feel like it thing? tough, suck it up, it's not an option. Just don't think do it. Weather? stay inside, do squats. Comfort? tough one, but you'll gain comfort with time. Get instruction. no one is looking at you anyway. check your ego at the door. You're going there to look better so is everyone, everyone there is at a "before". Cravings? Set aside specific cheat times. Make sure they're small cheats. As in yes you can eat pizza but not a whole pizza followed with 2L of coke.

I love what he says about holidays and special occasions:
"Don’t worry if you have to cheat on your diet a little bit for these special days. You should never feel like your diet is robbing you of a good time....
However, do not create too many special occasions." Yes your birthday is an occasion to splurge, your MIL's birthday? not so much, your baby brother's birthday? no thanks.

I also like this thing he said about "weakness food"
"One of the toughest things you will have to do en route to ultimate success is learn to sacrifice temporary pleasure for long-term happiness. "

So that was in the make a new mindset article from the 12 days of fitness. Author was Matt Maresca.

Which of the above is the biggest stumbling block for you? What do you have to change about your mindset?

I'm super cool awesome again!

Yay me! 137.0 baby! That's almost out of the 137s! into new territory here. That's a 1.2 lb loss from last week. I new my body works like this I just forget. I need to be strict MOST of the time, but being all out crazy a LITTLE bit of the time is ok. In fact it sometimes helps me. so yay!

I'm at home, trying to think of something awesome to do with my morning off. I was gonna bake pumpkin pie but I don't know if you can freeze it again afterwards because there's no reason we need a pumpkin pie right now (I don't like it don't worry). I'm watching some Sound of Music and playing with my dog, tried to call my mom to visit but I think she's teaching today (she's a sub). I should have made a plan. Oh well. I'm enjoying the thought of long weekend and with a happy WI like I had I should be happy all day! (excellent for shopping!)

Hope yours were just as good!

Almonds, how could I forget

I like almonds. And they're good for you. And the best part is - they keep you full. Not right away, but eat 20 of them and wait half an hour (and call me in the morning....) and you'll be nicely satisfied. Warning - watch the portions! Also high in calories!

I'm taking the first holiday day since I started working tomorrow. (reread that and it looks like I start work tomorrow or something... the holiday's tomorrow). Our car is getting totalled of by the insurance company - woohoo! So for our junker car that somebody backed into that we would have got maybe $500 for selling on our own, the insurance company is giving us $1800! yay! Happy Christmas! Anyway, the appointment in at 3 tomorrow and I was gonna do all this stuff, like dentist and massage and shopping. But it's working out that i'm just getting a massage (my first REAL massage, I've had a hot stone massage but that's not a tissue thing - quick tell me what to expect!) and maybe buying some running shoes.

I'm feeling skinny today. not gonna jinx the scale thing (like I have for the past 3 weeks) but I'm hoping for a mini loss as opposed to a gain. BUt I guess I should be happy with a maintain too considering how bad the weekend was. Food since then has been alright. Nothing too great. Did have a few cookies. But today was a spinach salad with 2 eggs for lunch. If only I liked eggs more. But I can only stand them as a once in awhile thing. But nice way to get the protein in lunches.

So I went to visit my friend yesterday. I brought her a little onesy with a touque with a Christmas pattern. They weren't expecting their kid until after Christmas so they didn't have anything Christmasy yet. It was newborn size, but their baby was only like 6 lbs (which is ok for 3 weeks early I guess, plus tons of dark hair, I said they'd be able to braid it if she was on time) And no offense to mothers with hairy babies, but it was all smooth, like without the hair all over the face and stuff so really pretty. I guess it's even prettier too because it was a c-section and didn't get her head squished. I'm so nice.

But I only sorta realized how freakin' early I was and how that might be inappropriate. I was there at 5:00 and they're baby was only born at 7:30 the night before. Their parents were just leaving and nobody else had visited yet. They hadn't even sent an email out to everyone about that they had their baby, I heard from the best friend of the new mom! Oh well. The baby wasn't in their room (in NICU) so I didn't get to see her yet. But hubby and I might visit tomorrow after the car stuff to see her. and bring a lasagna. (how do you bring something like that to a hospital? I guess you save it until she's at home)

Class last night was alright. I pushed it pretty hard. The cardio part I realized that even though I was getting really tired, there was only 1 song left, or this song was almost over or there's a rest right away and then we don't do much for legs or whatever and I managed to push it a little harder. I usually save some of it in the tank I think, as if it were my first class and didn't know how much was left or something. But anyway, so I had a pretty good hard class. I did start getting this rash irritation thing on my upper arm flab, almost armpit. It was from my arm rubbing on my clothes or else my hairy pits. I dunno. Never happened before. I hated it. It was a fat feeling. Reminded me of inner thigh chafing. Only upper arm chaffing. I felt fat last night when that was going on let me tell you. Felt like I had Oprah arms. (you know what I'm mean right? I know she's gotten in shape and lost weight and is really strong, but the woman has really bad flabby arms!)

Gym tonight with my sister. It's gonna be 30 minutes cardio. Maybe elliptical not treadmill. I really need new shoes, I get such bad blisters and pain in my feet running for more that 20 minutes. Then some chin-ups. Probably all. Then friday or saturday I'm gonna try to get in another workout. I've got one of my major Christmas Look-Good-For events this saturday. Hubby's Christmas party. (followed by Hubby's hockey beer night with people I actually like). Since hubby said I look "old" in my skirt I sewed with my polkadot button up shirt I don't wanna wear it. (even though it's just a grown-up style compared to the holey jeans and hoodies I usually wear) Thanks hubby. I'm not gonna wear it. Plus frankly it's a bit tight for sitting for long periods of time. It's more of a standing or "perching" skirt (high waisted pencil skirt). So all that means is I'm gonna punish him with a little retain retribution and buy myself something to wear. So yay shopping at least!

Anyway, I'll probably post my WI tomorrow but since I'm not at work it might be a short post. HOLIDAY! remember to get your WIs to Carolyn or I tomorrow. There's like 3 WIs left for this Christmas challenge. Unfortunately since I suck, I'm aiming at 50% of goal by christmas. Have I mentioned how I hate Tammy and Sheri? (by the way I hope they don't take offense at this, but they're both mom's with teenager kids I think, in their 40's - I think? And again no offense to other challengers, but how many of us in our 20s are nowhere near our goals? Interesting to me. Maybe that's saying that typical 20 something things have got to go - drinking, parties, lack of sleep, eating out. The other thing that's important in this is that both these ladies really focus on exercise and fitness and do strength training exercises. IT'S IMPORTANT LADIES - YES I MEAN YOU CAROLYN!) ;)

Boy with that little post I might have insulted everyone of my readers and blog friends. Dangerous line I'm walking here Randi! A screw it - they know me and they know I don't mean anything by it and that I always stick my foot in my mouth anyways.

Thought I'd pass it on just in case it's good.

I'm subscribed to a crapload of free newsletters. I think I mentioned it before. Lots of stuff from personal trainers and stuff. Mostly them trying to sell their products or get their name out or whatever. but they've also got some good Q&A stuff and tips sometimes. I like them because they just keep my mind in the game and thinking fitness and stuff. (I also get a crapload of recipe emails and stuff to keep my mind on food? I might want to rethink that...)

Anyways, it seems like there's a serious good deal on one of them now. It's the 12 days of Christmas. And I don't know if it's gonna be good or a lot of junk but I'm all about the free stuff and the good deals so I thought I'd pass it on. Here's the junk they asked me to pass on:


Dear (NAME)

I'm not sure whether or not you've already heard about this (there's a lot of buzz going around already) but I just thought I'd let you know about the 12 days of fitness gift-giving that I've just signed up for.

It's been put together by Dax Moy and Pat Rigsby who have somehow managed to persuade 250 of the world's leading fitness experts to part with literally hundreds of video's, audios, e-books and special reports related to just about every aspect of health and fitness you could imagine.

And it's free!

There's nothing to pay at all and there's no catch whatsoever. Just sign up for the gifts at www.12daysoffitness.com and the gifts will start flowing from 10th December for a full 12 days.

I'm telling everyone I know so make sure you get on over there and do the same.

Happy holidays.

(Your Name)

Don't you ever just want to wait?

I'm talking about wait until summer to lose weight. That stupid idea has been running around my head periodically for a few days. I was remembering when I would run every single day OUTSIDE, sometimes getting up before work and going. Now I can barely get myself dressed before work. I was also remembering the fresh strawberries and eating salads and enjoying them. Winter and cold makes me crave hot food and doughy things. I remember how much weight I was losing in the summer and how easy it seemed.

I just keep thinking how much easier it would be to just kind of go on hold right now and pick up and repair damage come the summer. I KNOW IT'S STUPID! But i'm still thinking like that sometimes. I am finding myself with time at the end of each day sort of just wandering around. (don't hate me, I don't have kids and can't just watch tv, what am I supposed to do?) Even though I went to the gym already (t and th) I suppose I could workout again. But the thing is, I don't want to do strength stuff because they're my recovery days. And our elliptical is kinda broken and squeaks really loud so if there's anybody else home I don't want to use it and bother them when they're watching tv or whatever. But you know what I could do? Yoga or pilates dvds. The problem is I like to multitask and do things while I watch tv or bake or something. But I suppose I could just try and relearn the routine and do it in front of the tv. We've also got a little portable dvd player that I can have the exercise stuff on, and then have Corner Gas or whatever anybody else wants to watch on the big tv. I know that's dumb but I need to multitask! NEED TO! Somebody remind me of this on friday. (tonight is class, tomorrow is my night of single tasking during grey's anatomy)

So wanna hear what I did yesterday? of course you do, that's why you're reading my blog! So I went to the gym. I told Kitty I was gonna try her type of HIIT, (with big incline and slower speed increases then repeat) but I couldn't handle it. I just can't run slower and I can't keep up my pace with a big incline. So I put on a medium incline (I usually have none) of 2.5% and did my kind of intervals, (which are 10.5 km/hr for 2 minutes then 13+km/hr for 1 minute, repeat.) the thing is these were more effective outside since I just would sprint as fast as I could, whereas I don't know how fast that is to set the treadmill too, let me tell you it's faster than 14 km/hr but I'm too scared to put it faster (so far...) in case I fly off there or something. But I did like doing them with the incline. I did a warm up with a higher incline (5%) so moving it back down to 2.5 felt like flat.

And then I did my chin ups. And I sucked. That's what you get for taking a week off of them. Plus being slightly sore from monday's workout still. I could only do like 6 with 30 lb counterweight twice then 7 with 50 lbs. Boo me. But of course when things are hard that's when they're most effective so I guess yay me. Just disappointing that everything seems hard these days (squats in class kill me lately, wtf?)

But I came home, hubby had made soup and fried balogna sandwiches. I don't like balogna so I had ham and cheese grilled. I would have made 2 but I remembered that's dumb, these aren't healthy and it's not a treat day. So I had just 1 sandwich and a whole shwack of coleslaw (light homemade dressing). I still felt like I needed dessert after that so I had a yogurt. Normally I would have served myself a bowl of unmeasured yogurt from the big container. But I knew that was wrong so I just ate one of my lunch yogurt cups (40 calories). Victory is mine!

Then guess what I did. You'll be so impressed/disappointed. I make some Christmas baking. I made chocolate truffle things. Didn't eat one! (did however lick my fingers a few times so that's the equivalent of like 1. But the thing is, I don't think they're terrible for you. Here are the ingredients if you want to make them yourself, they're really really good:

8 squares chocolate (I used 4 squares and 1 cup chocolate chips)
1/2 cup peanut butter
2 cups of cool whip (I used the light kind)
icing sugar.

So you melt the chocolates, mix in the peanut butter, let it cool a little bit (room temp) and then mix in the cool whip (thawed). Put it in the fridge for 1 hour to harden. Then form into little balls and roll in icing sugar. (might need to keep putting them in the fridge so they're easier to roll and not so messy). then Ta da! They taste so fancy and bad for you, but it's just cool whip, not like heavy cream or something. Plus they're chocolate and peanut butter! YUM! The recipe said it made only like 13, but I must have rolled tiny balls because it made like 4 dozen at least. The only downside is you need to keep them in the fridge and I hate that. there's never any room. So I froze them all. Ready for parties or gifts. yay!

Yesterday at noon I went shopping (I'm trying to buy some Grey Cup Rider stuff but it's not in stores yet, I'm sure it's going to sell out fast though). so I ate my lunch cold. I dont' like to be gone for an hour over lunch and then come back and use the microwave so everyone knows I'm only eating now and taking an extra long lunch (even if I work at the same time - which I don't though). But today I'm also going to go out at noon and shop for baby stuff. So I think I might eat my soup first (cold pea soup? no thanks!).

As for baby stuff to buy, they didn't know it was gonna be a girl so I'll get something girly, also they weren't expecting her 'til after Christmas so I'll get some kind of baby's first Christmas thing or a santa hat or something. I was thinking of making them this big basket of stuff but I just don't have time for that, plus I'll save that for a shower present or something. I might get them a gift certificate for M&M meat shops (which sells lasagnas and ready made roasts and kabobs and all kinds of stuff) But at the same time it's so easy for me to make something instead. and cheaper.

Oh and guess what? SIL moved her wedding date up to Oct 2008 (was 2009) and I'm not sure but I think I'm in the wedding party. The timing couldn't be perfecter huh? 2008 is my summer in a bikini and now I've got something else to stay in shape for after summer. So now I'm going to have a few goals set up for 2008. January - March 21 (my birthday)will probably be similar to now (finish those last 10 lbs). Then until end of June (Hogfest, first major summer event) will be get bikini ready. Summer will be a maintain and fitness goals (maybe triathalon? just any kind of race?) Then September - October will be to get wedding ready. You know how I like to have goals and deadlines. These will be good ones. (think of it like training, if you were an athlete you'd train to be in peak performance for certain events, the dates don't move for those. Neither will the dates for Hogfest or her wedding, and you wanna look good for those. Then in the "off season" you get to relax a little bit until you have to train for the next "event") As long as I stay within like 5ish lbs of goal should be good.

Ok, that's it. I should do some work today.

My friend had her baby!

I know you don't know her and you don't even have to pretend to care. I just needed to be excited and talk about it somewhere and nobody at work will do.

EEEK! I'm so excited. Her name is Arden. Pretty huh? She's over 3 weeks early and they had to do an emergency c-section (I don't know why) but they're both doing good now. I was gonna go visit them on my way home from work today but I didn't have a chance to make the present I wanted to yet. I guess I can save that for a shower. What do you bring when you visit in the hospital? Flowers? Probably a teddy bear but it's not like the baby can use it yet.

I'm so excited to talk to her and maybe hold the little baby and hear all about it. The only thing is, I don't really like her husband that much. (he's in a jazz band. That says enough doesn't it? he's sorta snooty and not goofy at all and prude-ish) So I'm not sure if I'll get to talk to her as much as I'd like if he's around. Have to save it for a different girls only visit.

Ok I'll have a real post later. Just needed to share. Do tell me all your great ideas for baby gifts! (I was also gonna bring a lasagna or something over sometime, good idea?)

Enjoy the holidays not the food.

I stole that from Amanda but it has inspired a tornado of thoughts that I want to explore with you.

Enjoy the holidays not the food. Just what are the holidays?
time with family, presents, parties.

I'm actually having a hard time listing things that are not food. I want to say, turkey, shortbread, fruitcake, punch, booze. Those are the foods that mean Christmas to me.

Then why am I eating all these bavarian mints and chocolate chip cookies, just because it's Christmas. Those don't mean Christmas to me. They're out. If I'm gonna eat something "because it's Christmas" it's gotta be something that I only get at Christmas and that Christmas wouldn't be complete without. Not something yummy because it's cold out and I want it.

Ok, back to Christmas, what the heck is there to enjoy if not the food? How can I celebrate when it's not time to eat my short list of Christmas food? Well I love presents. Giving them and getting them. And making them for crying out loud! Why haven't I finished those snowmen! Instead I'm trying to find some new Christmas recipe to bake. Eh hem! Make shortbread, fruitcake, and punch! then make presents! (they can be food too. Food can be a present) I know my in-laws are going to LOVE the presents that I'm making them (snowmen), I know my sister's favorite present will be the scrapbook I made for her. Why not MAKE some more presents for people? That also means Christmas!

I also love not homemade presents. I'm not done my Christmas shopping, nor do I have all my lists made. But I love the malls at Christmas. I love the little displays, and the music and the inflated prices and the pictures with santa and the awesome ideas everywhere that make me want to buy things for myself. And I love buying things for myself and buying a special Christmas party outfit or new years outfit (or both!). I also love finding that perfect thing for someone that they didn't even know they wanted but now they won't be able to live without and totally blowing my budget on something perfect. even when it's for somebody I didn't have to buy a present for.

So to me, Christmas also equals shopping. So I'm going to enjoy the shopping, not the food court.

Christmas also means Christmas music. I listened to a cd in the middle of november but not really since. I love Christmas music, so when I'm feeling like I want to be festive instead of diving into the christmas baking, I'll put some tunes on and sing my heart out. Or else watch some Christmas movies (did anybody see the shrek Christmas special last night?). I'm also a sucker for It's a Wonderful Life (reminds me of my grandma, it was her family tradition and she passed away not too long ago, sort of bittersweet). Of course Elf. Plus I love the little cartoons and claymation stuff that's on tv all the time.

Christmas also means decorations and decorating. But I already did that. We're scaling back the decorations this year because of the dog. Also, we're not having a Christmas party like last year and it just doesn't seem worth the hassle this year to put all the boxes and boxes of stuff we've got. I've got a lot (MIL does ceramics so she makes us little "knicknacks" all the time, they just look messy to me but what can you do?) I already put up some greenery with lights, and my poinsetta and a couple candles and stuff. Just a bit. We haven't put our outside lights up because it's fricken freezing so hopefully it warms up this weekend or something. We've also got one of those inflatable lawn snowmen things. It still looks Christmasy to me at least.

But part of Christmas makes me want to MAKE decorations. I always stock up on picks and flowers and bows on boxing day sales thinking of great things to make with them. So I've got the supplies. I'm gonna make some decorations this year too.

Christmas also means parties. We've got a Christmas party every weekend until Christmas. But Christmas parties usually mean food. So what's to enjoy at Christmas parties besides food? Well I guess there's the company of friends. Except 2 of these parties are work parties and they're more akward than anything. So what do I enjoy there? Hubby's Christmas party this weekend i'm going to enjoy the door prizes and dressing up fancy (we're not really friends with any of his work people, he works with ass holes and immature kids, so we usually hang out with a bunch of 19 year olds who get completely wasted and make me angry) I think this year I'll also look forward to skipping out early and going to the end of hubby's hockey beer night. So basically I'll look forward to dressing up and looking sooooo good (Teen Girls Squad! ok nevermind) and then showing off afterwards at the bar.

Then next weekend's Christmas party is with a bunch of our friends so it's more of just a party. That one I know will be all about food since that's what my sister and I do for parties, make yummy appetizers and act all martha stewart. However, in the past I've been able to enjoy showing off culinary skills yet not packing it away like the cookie monster after a fast. We'll attempt this. Also, I haven't hung out with everyone much this year, so I'm going to enjoy looking skinnier than I did last year.

Finally my Christmas party for work is right before Christmas on the 21st. We do bowling and then a fancy meal and then the bar. So that one is always fun for laughing at my boss being drunk and silly and buying shots for everyone and all the senior staff members almost getting in fights at bars filled with early 20somethings. Plus it's also a dressed up thing. so aside from all the awkwardness of social settings with work people should be ok.

So that's Christmas parties. Looks like I mostly like dressing up and looking good! There's incentive to not pig out!

Finally there's spending time with family. This is really the best part. I love hanging out with my family. And we can usually do it with out lots of food since mom and dad aren't supposed to be eating bad stuff with their cholesterol. So we just have Christmas morning stockings with them which just means a few chocolates.

Oh yeah, didn't I mention? I'm having no rules on Christmas day. There will be no guilt over it. Christmas eve, boxing day, new years? guilt. -er I mean, no guilt because I'll be eating smart. But Christmas, I'm not saying no. I'm not going to have it just because I can, but if I feel like eating a few cookies and cakes, it's ok.

right, so Christmas with my family should be health-ish. (we always eat oranges like crazy and then mom makes a breakfast casserole thing).

Hubby's family, not so much. not fair that they get the afternoon and supper when you eat more anyway, but they're not much for healthy. Big turkey supper, afternoon with presents and games (I bought hubby the PS2 with sing star. I'm pretty sure we'll be playing) Christmas with the inlaws means games. They always play cards or board games and stuff. So that will be fun. sorta.

Here's a funny story. Hubby's dad has the same name as me, Randy. So we have the same name. That's not the story.

He and I must be more similar than that or something because we always butt heads. We were playing this Battle of the Sexes game a few years ago where the guys answer questions about make-up and cooking and the girls answer questions about sports and cars. Kinda fun. (I'm good at games, I like things I'm good at). So I was getting everything right for the girls. The rest of them are really girly girl types who never had to take the garbage out because that was a boy job. Get it? Anyway, there was a question about football (NFL mind you, not CFL, so I know nothing) but it was like "what position, sport and team does blah blah play for?" and we had nothing. they're like "give up" and we're like "yeah." and I just threw out "quarterback of the New England Patriots" or something and I was right! It was hilarious and awesome and everyone's laughing, but other Randy won't give us the point because we said we gave up first. He doesnt' like losing. Then we were playing the other way because we thought it would still be hard that way. So I'm in the bathroom and the girls got an impossible one and were about to give up but other Randy said, better wait for Randi so she won't be such a smarty pants. So I get back and they ask and I knew it too (what's the name of creams and lotions used to get rid of unwanted hair? delipatory, is it that hard?) so he was mad. Then we played anther game last year that everyone had to answer questions and you couldnt' get the same as somebody else. So it was where would you find a bathroom, starting with an S. So it was like shopping mall, or Sanfransisco or whatever. And other Randy said, Space Shuttle for double letter points. Nobody wanted to give him points for it but he pouted and argued until we did. So I sort of decided I don't like playing games with him. (plus he's a real jerk in poker and stuff) but I'll get over it and kick his ass in something else this year and feel better.

So, except for that long story, those are the things that I'm going to focus on this Christmas to be Christmasy instead of on the food. And even the food is going to be limited to turkey, shortbread, fruitcake, punch and maybe some booze. What do you guys think? What are the things that mean Christmas for you? What foods ARE Christmas and it won't be Christmas without them?

Week 10 with some serious gaps.

Here's week 10 results, there are some serious missing results from a lot of you. If you want me to update this please let me know ASAP. Again, an amazing who'syourdaddy goes out to Sheri and Tammy for blasting out their goals this week.
I'd also like to light the fire under Bri, Carolyn, Hazel, and Swizzlepop who have less than 5 lbs to get to their goals. I know there's only like 20 some days left but you can do it!

Also, like to say to everyone else, I guess it's not likely you'll get to 100%, myself included. But that's no reason to feel sad, keep pushing out towards your goal, it's ok to change and adjust goals. (but not so much on this challenge, I don't want to go crazy with that stinking spreadsheet). I mean, I want to get the highest % I can. My new goal is to get to 135 by Christmas. That's only gonna be 5 lbs away from my final goal. That still means like 3 more lbs so it won't be easy but that's what I'm aiming for. And if I don't make that by Christmas I'll be ok with that as well. I want the same for all of you.

So meanwhile keep pushing ok? I don't want anybody to be like "oh well I guess I failed" or "I'll never make it so what's the point". I'll come kick your ass and show you what's the point then. (or else you could talk to Carolyn who I'm sure would be a much better listener and more sympathetic and caring) I'm the bad cop. ;)

shout outs

I've never said "shout out" in my entire life. hehe.

So I realized that of course I'm gonna listen to the advice of SHERI, she's an expert. SHE MADE HER FREAKIN' GOAL!!!! I've been meaning to say something for awhile - since she's been there for like a week already but of course last week sucked blogwise for me. So I want everyone to go check out sheri's blog and her great post about maintenance and her after pictures and stuff. Of course half of me now hates her because she's skinny but I'm working on that for myself.

While I'm at it I might as well hate Tammi who also shattered her goal in the last WI. So you all go to her blog too and send her some Love/Hate mail about being amazing while I'm standing here only ok. and of course she's making it super hard to hate by being all sweet and encouraging to me and still hitting the gym and stuff and focusing on other goals just like I want everybody to do.

Sonya also had a great loss this week, over 3 lbs! So I'm gonna have to listen to her advice from now on too to see how she did it. Great. I thought I was supposed to be the know it all.

I'll be putting together the Christmas Challenge spreadsheet soon too so check back today or tomorrow to see how awesome everyone is doing. (and if you haven't gotten me ur stuff, do so immediately)

addition

So I got a great recommendation from Sheri to add to my "lessons". Only eat it if you love it. As in, if you're going to eat stupid terrible bad for you food, make sure it's worth it. And I can tell you that my buffet experience was not worth it. (whereas, last weekend, when I got dessert and BPs, it was worth it). I can't believe I don't follow this. I'm ALL ABOUT getting the most bang for my buck when it comes to money, in clothes, groceries everything. If it's not on sale I don't even look. New strategy carries over into food. However not in the money way, because I tried that and that's how you end up supersizing your foods and not ordering half orders of pasta etc because it's a better deal to get lots of food. I mean calorie wise. I'm going to budget my calories like I budget my money. I'll have to balance quantity - aka veggies with quality - aka treats. I know if I'm gonna splurge with my money, I'm not going to buy more than 1 big item in like a month (well with me it's more like 3 months ... or never) but I'll shop for clothes in superstore because I know it's a good deal and not bad.

SO...Since I like to be full and feel full (wonder how this is psychological...) just like I like to have lots of "stuff" I'm going to have to focus on the healthy. However, just like I'm not going to just wear any old hand me down just because it's a good deal, i'm not going to just eat bran mixed with egg whites (that was the healthiest thing I could think of) I'm gonna eat fruit, because I like it. And ff, sf yogurt.

I already do this with my liquids. I budget my calories to food, by not drinking booze, sticking to water, diet coke, the occasional skim milk, crystal light. No way I'd waste my calories on regular pop. However on the rare occasion I'll "splurge" and "spend" my calories on a strawberry daiquiri or a long island iced tea. because I know I like those. Not gonna "splurge" on a screwdriver, because it's only ok.

Yay! another thing I can be super cheap on!