Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Something wrong with my body

Seriously folks. I'm not the perfect beast of a woman you all think I am. Just kidding. of course I am. ;)

I have....Tight hip flexors....duh duh duh...

And they are the cause of every other thing that's wrong with me. My hip issues, my back pain, a flat butt, my tmj disorder, cracking knee joints, blisters on my feet, big legs, lower belly fat, greasy hair, circles under my eyes, poor work ethic, and tendancy to exaggerate. Seriously.

So what is tight hip flexors and what does it mean for you? well maybe nothing, but maybe something. If you experience any of the above symptoms (well up to the knee one, the rest hasn't been proven by science yet) you may also have tight hip flexors. Chances are you do. Know why? Cause most of you are women, most of you run, jog or walk regularly for exercise, and the big one that gave you away, you're on a computer. Apparently sitting for a living isn't good for your body. huh.

Hip flexors are the muscles that connect your legs to your hips in the front. Like at the very, very top of your thighs. So when you're sitting, they're shortened, when you do this they're lengthened:

Right, so sitting at a desk all day can make them shorten permanently. As can running etc. So I need to make them longer. ok. what does that mean?

Well it means doing stretches, and massages and stuff. And it means strengthening my butt. What? Yes. My butt being a dud is apparently a side effect of this. So because my butt sucks, my legs are doing more than their share = big quads? and my back is picking up the slack too = sore back and shooting hip pain? yes. and yes.

How did people live before the internet? Like how the hell would I have figured that out before google? Seriously, I was thinking of that the other day. April fool's in fact (because in grade 4 we had a research topic for 1 class to look up Loof Lirpa and find out everything we could about it/him or whatever. So we were in encyclopedias in the library and we had Encarta for the computer but there was no google. So we spent way way too long looking this up ineffectively, until class was over and teach told us it was April Fool backwards so we were all dumb. But if we had google we'd have known in 1 second.)

Righto, self diagnosis. me=genius.

So I'm doing all these bridges and stuff, really focusing on the old derriere. And doing some nice stretches (just google hip flexor stretch). And it's gonna make all my problems go away and yours too. And i'm going to be faster and stronger and prettier and more outgoing and funnier. Way way funnier. Because I'll come out of my shell, I mean it's taken quite a toll on my self esteem living with this dark shadow for so many years.


MizFit said...

Hey! So does the Renaissance Man.

but being a man he merely laments (*wink*) and wont stretch or ANYTHING.


if you find a great cure-all let me know....


Candace said...

Is that man wearing a teeny-bopper bracelet? I'd say he has issues too, but self-confidence isn't one of them.

Jenn said...

I have a friend who is a dance major who has tight hip flexor muscles. She constantly complains about them, and does all these funky stretches. She dances all day and has trouble, so I can't even imagine what happens to someone who has to sit most of the day. Sounds kind of painful though.
I don't know if I have trouble with them or not. I know that my calf muscles constantly hurt and get tight very easily. I stretch them all day long and they still hurt. Maybe I have short calf muscles?

And you are so right - I couldn't imagine going through college without google or the internet. How would we ever have done research without computers?
And since I'm in Accounting, thank God for Excel! Without it I'd be really using a pencil and calculator all day, which would require more effort and thinking that I'm not prepared for! :)

Jenn said...
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P.O.M. said...

I'm in the same boat. Tightest hip flexors evah - my bf thinks I am giong to snap in half. There are some yoga moves that can help too. If you look on my blog - at the yoga page - Basically 16-22 can help. I am always trying to find ways to stretch the "flexors."

eurydice said...

Interesting post. I wonder if I have tight hip flexors too! I don't really have those symptoms though so maybe not.

ashley said...

I have never thought of this. The day you posted, I opened saved the post to read more later and immediately began trying to stretch them out. Now I am completely paranoid. Thanks :) I'm going to take p.o.m's advice and try to incorporate some yoga to stretch these things out!